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Learning to Love Yourself Better12/4/2024 Learning to love and accept yourself is the greatest gift you’ll ever give yourself. It's better than that expensive designer bag on your wish list. Better than those new shoes you've been eyeing off. And yes, even better than the Euro summer vacation you're no doubt dreaming of! Problems and challenges don’t fix themselves by doing a geographical for 2 weeks or hitting the shops for a dose of retail therapy. After the dopamine hit is gone, and the holiday glow fades, you’re still stuck with the same thoughts, behaviours, and stress you had before. What I’ve come to understand on my journey as a coach is that self-love and acceptance doesn’t come easy for most women. We are our own worst critic. We are the first to blame, body shame, call ourselves stupid, useless, and much much worse. Growing up the concept of self-kindness wasn't always taught to us by the women in our circle, or by teachers at our schools. And sources like social media have become a minefield of judgement and comparison. However, self-love and acceptance are the two biggest foundations for a positive and fulfilling life!1) Loving yourself enables you to cultivate healthier relationships with others. When you know your own worth, you are less likely to seek validation from external sources and can form genuine connections based on mutual respect and understanding. 2) Self-love equips you with the resilience to bounce back from setbacks and challenges. You develop a deeper sense of self-trust and inner strength, allowing you to face difficulties with courage and grace. 3) By embracing self-acceptance, you free yourself from the trap of comparison and perfectionism. Your inner critic become less concerned with measuring up to others' standards and more focused on nurturing your unique strengths and qualities. But of course, the million-dollar question is… “If I was never taught how to love and accept myself, then where do I even begin?” ✨ Start by becoming aware of your critical thoughts, feelings, and self-talk ✨ Commit to treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a close friend ✨ When you walk past that mirror – what would you say to your bestie? Would you ridicule her and tear her down OR would you show her compassion and pump up her tires? You always have a choice; you can continue the path you’ve been on and keep get the same results. Or you can make a change and BE the source of love and acceptance in your own life. About the Author: Janel Briggs is an Author, Mindset Coach, Practitioner of NLP and Timeline Therapy on a mission to support women across the world in overcoming their anxiety - personal insecurities and professional fears - to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching aims to help you fearlessly elevate your life and career, and more importantly the relationship you have with yourself! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.
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Where Are You on the Priority List?4/3/2024 Here's a reflection for all the care-takers out there. The mothers, fur-mama's and women in relationships who spend most of their time caring and holding space for other people (whether it be your partner, children, family, or in your friendships). I want to ask you a question: Where are you on the priority list of your life? Recently, I had to ask myself this question. And it's VERY interesting what came up! Last week my husband and I decided to invest in private 1:1 coaching for our son (who is 10yo) for a sport he loves. This coaching would help him to build more confidence and fine tune his skills. I did my research, got a referral, and the quote came back at $200 for a number of sessions. It was literally a split-second decision - YES, let's do it! Within 24hrs the first session was set up. It was a "no-brainer" for us to spend $200 on our son's progression in this sport, his happiness is high on our priority list. On the flipside, I reflected on how I would have responded if the tables were turned a few years ago. I wondered how long it would have taken me to DECIDED to spend that same $200 on myself??Perhaps you could ask yourself the same thing? I can tell you, the decision would have taken wayyyy longer than 24hrs!! My mind would have been spinning thinking about all the justifications, the pro's and con's, in an attempt to ward off the overwhelming feeling of... GUILT. "I can't do that, I can't spend that much on myself... it's too much! I'll find another way. I'll get another quote. I'll wait to see if I REALLY NEED IT." You may have had a similar response or mindset too?I've had clients tell me they're kids are always dressed in the best clothes - yet they're still wearing those old shoes with the hole in them they bought 5 years ago! Or, they'll even pay for the finest food, toys and new beds for they're fur babies - yet they're still using a broken hair brush from 2012! Or, they won't even blink an eye at loaning a family member or friend money to support their idea or dream - yet won't do the same for themselves! WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS??Honestly, I believe it comes down to priority and self-value. Where we place ourselves on our own priority list matters. We forget about how important it is to invest in ourselves, in our own progression, healing and growth. I can tell you that in every decision I used to make - I was at the bottom of my priority list. Somehow in my role as the "responsible care-taker" in my immediate and extended family I thought else's needs came before mine. What I came to realise (after hitting a rock bottom with my mental health in 2017!) is that my needs and taking care of myself HAD to come FIRST. I needed to be a top priority in my life, instead of bottom of the list. If I couldn't make myself a priority and voice my needs - then how would anyone else ever make me a priority too? My last questions for you is this: How can you move yourself up the priority list this week
And if you have any questions or comments on how to get started - please reach out! About the Author: Janel Briggs is an Author, Mindset Coach, Practitioner of NLP and Timeline Therapy on a mission to support women across the world in overcoming their anxiety - personal insecurities and professional fears - to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching aims to help you fearlessly elevate your life and career, and more importantly the relationship you have with yourself! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.
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When Christmas Isn't Sparking JOY18/12/2023 This time of year can bring up big emotions for people. Not only do we have the overwhelming rush to the end of year finish line, but we also have so much added stress with “Christmas is coming”. I want you to know that if you are not joyously cruising into Christmas and the end of year, it’s OK. You are not alone. You're not a bad person or the “Christmas Grinch”. You’re probably just extremely overwhelmed, burnt out, beyond tired and perhaps at capacity with everyone and everything! Christmas and the new year often brings up anxiety! I know this feeling. I spent a few years of my life dreading Christmas day and the stress that comes from juggling “family relationships" and having to “act normal” when I felt way less than normal. It’s plain hard to be joyful when your mind feels scrambled and you've got zero energy left in the tank. Not to mention that pressure of staring down the road to 2024 … thinking what am I doing with my life? Why am I still so far away from where I should be? And how the hell am I going grin and bear it and avoid these questions from people at all those Christmas parties?! If you resonate with any of this, here is an approach for youIf you resonate with any of this, here is an approach for you: Honour your feelings. It’s OK to be feeling this way, there are many other who feel the same right now too but probably aren't talking about it. There’s no doubt you’ve been juggling a lot this year and likely just need time and space to process your thoughts, feelings and emotions. It’s ok to say No. I remember one year when my family asked me to host Christmas Day lunch and I was struggling with my mental health. My anxiety immediately triggered at the thought of seeing everyone in my home roll up with Esky’s full of alcohol and drinking all day. I knew that my head and nervous system could not handle any alcohol fueled arguments or stress. So, with the help of my mentor I crafted some words to create a boundary that honoured my feelings. I wrote to each family member and told them I would host, but if it was at my house, it would be an alcohol-free day. They agreed, respected my wishes and came along. They ate the food, opened presents, left early and went on to be merry somewhere else! By all accounts for me it was a GREAT DAY. Zero anxiety, and lots of laughs. Focus on self-care. Perhaps this is what your holiday break is about, a time for rest and recharge rather than all the Christmas ‘tis. Less giving energy out, more recouping energy in. Do things that bring you comfort and relaxation. You don’t have to have it all figured out by December 31st. In actual fact December 31 is just another day in the calendar. Take a breath and release the pressure. Everything will work itself out in time. Go slow and be kind to yourself. Ande let this be your reminder to take a breather. You can and you will get to that end of year finish line. And please take care out there, if you're stressed and emotions are high remember that there are many others that are too. All the best, JB. About the Author: Janel Briggs is an Author, Mindset Coach, Practitioner of NLP and Timeline Therapy on a mission to support women across the world in overcoming their anxiety - personal insecurities and professional fears - to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching aims to help you fearlessly elevate your life and career, and more importantly the relationship you have with yourself! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.
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If you’ve ever found yourself waking up feeling on-edge, super anxious, worrying about something you might have said or done after a night out of fun and drinking, rest assured - you're not alone. 'Hangxiety' is a common experience shared by many women, so I want to help you understand the cause better to so you can manage through it and breathe easier this holiday season! Our Body + AlcoholThe science behind 'hangxiety' is rooted in the intricate workings of our brains when alcohol is consumed:
If you’re interested in learning about how alcohol + sleep affect anxiety I cover this topic in detail in my new book “Becoming Fearless” – The Complete Guide to Anxiety Relief along with 12+ anxiety relief tools! Women vs Men’s 'Hangxiety'Women tend to metabolise alcohol differently to men due to differences in body composition and our enzyme levels. This can result in a quicker rise in blood alcohol concentration while drinking and intensify both the initial “calming effects” and subsequent “glutamine rebound” = anxiety. Women who are already prone to anxiety are more susceptible to experiencing intensified 'hangxiety' after drinking. Reason being - our body’s anxiety alarm system is super in tune with hormone fluctuations and likely in a pattern of triggering to negative or worried thoughts! How to Cope with Post-Drinking AnxietyThe duration of the ‘hangxiety’ feeling will vary person to person, typically peaking the day after and lasting up to 24 hours or longer, depending on factors like how much alcohol you drank and physical/emotional/mental conditions (aka if you’re in a high stress period/already anxious mindset then look out - symptoms will be intensified!). Waking up with fragmented memories from the previous night can also contribute to post-drinking stress of course. Dealing with 'hangxiety' requires a high level of self-compassion. This is where you need to remind yourself -
Do something to distract and relax your mind, such as watching a favourite show or practicing mindfulness through meditation, aids in easing 'hangxiety.' And avoid consuming more alcohol or stimulant’s like coffee, which can just exacerbate anxiety. ‘Hangxiety’ PreventionIf you want to prevent 'hangxiety' it will involvessome moderation and mindful drinking and I also believe assessing where you’re at emotionally and mentally before you drink is key.
By understanding how the body works and the triggers, and implementing a few preventive measures and coping strategies, I hope 'hangxiety' won’t overshadow this year’s festive cheer for you!
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This one is for all the Overthinkers13/11/2023 Do you ever find your mind spinning about all the “what if’s” and the “unknowns” within a problem or situation and you just can’t seem to shut those damn thoughts off? Overthinking is something that happens to the best of us, and it’s a sure-fire trigger for anxiety. It’s kind of like there’s a dance party going on in your mind with all these thoughts on a wild and random playlist. You’re expecting “Sunday Chill” and get delivered “Hard Rock Hits of 1990”. YIKES! When things get too chaotic, we often forget that we are the DJ of the crazy party going on in our mind. We can take control of the playlist, even if the volume of the music feels a little loud and out of our control. We can dial it down. But how? This week, perhaps start by recognizing when you are overthinking and practice interrupting the pattern of thought. Instead of feeding the train of thoughts with MORE questions and scenarios on the overthinking train, try to disrupt the flow and change the tune. Here is a recent video I did for my overthinkers on Instagram which will help! Overthinking is very common in women who experience anxiety. In fact I’ve dedicated a whole chapter to understanding “why we overthink” in my new book, Becoming Fearless launching next Tuesday Nov 21. Here is a sneak peak of some things I share that can help to quiet down the internal noise:
It takes practice, but honestly from experience there is no amount of rehashing a problem that will help find a resolution in THAT moment if you’re anxious. When our thoughts are like a loud party, then we don’t have space to listen to our inner voice of intuition who is trying to give us advice! Shift focus and come back to it at another time. This is your reminder:Sometimes we have to let go of the problem before we can figure it out. The same thinking that got us into the problem, won't always get us out of it! Ps. You can learn more about Becoming Fearless here and jump on the waitlist to get a copy. It's packed full of actionable tips and tools to help you relieve anxiety, naturally!
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Phew... well, this past week has been A LOT to process, hasn't it? I've felt it too, the sense of confusion, helplessness, and overwhelming emotions from witnessing a world and people in crisis. Sick to my stomach reading and listening to the news, hearing the division and clash of words, opinions, and beliefs all over social media on topics that are far away and closer to home. As we’ve seen for hundreds and thousands of years, division brings destruction. Sadly, I have no solution or answers for you. But I do know that we’ll never be able to right the wrongs of the past with the same thinking that got us here. Often in times like these, when the world-fear and anxiety storm rages I get a little quieter. I go inward to reflect, process my emotions, pray for humanity and peace, and I count my blessings. I also put in place a few essential practices that assist my mindset:
If you're struggling with feelings of hopelessness and sadness from the weight of division in our world I recorded a special meditation for your this week. It's based on an ancient practice that cultivates goodwill and universal friendliness towards oneself and others. After I have done all I can to tackle my emotions and educate myself on a tough problem, this recording helps me to re-focus my mind and nurture my spirit. Then I'll perhaps take a walk, listen to music, meet a friend for a chat, eat something nutritious, read a good book, go for a bike ride or take a nap. These are all constructive ways to support my mindset to fill time that might otherwise have been wasted on worry about all the uncontrollable's in our world today. Take care, JB
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Tapping Into the Magic Within You9/10/2023 In my line of work it's common for me to see women grappling with self-doubt. Sadly, this lack in belief can be the major cause of our stress, anxiety, burnout and even depression. We seem to live in a world where women feel there is a persona or invisible achievement list they have to live up to in order to be "worthy" or "valued". Watching the Barbie movie recently, this became even more clear to me. (Have you seen it? What did you think of it?) The gremlin thoughts in our mind often make us feel that if we don't look like THIS, or have THAT, or achieve THIS, then we're failing, "not good enough" or will "never be good enough". It's a pressure that is hard to comprehend and manage. And, if we've experienced knock backs at any stage of our life or career, the journey to quiet the gremlins and get back to self-confidence can be super challenging. But I am here to remind you that this journey back to your true self, can also be incredibly rewarding. Within each and every one of us, there exists a reservoir of magic waiting to be tapped into. Special qualities, characteristics, talents, and brilliance that once recognised helps to light up the world in small or big ways. Learning how to unlock our magic is how we overcome self-doubt. Your magic sparkles from your qualities, strengths, values and known accomplishments. If you're on this journey now - I have created a visual thought starter for you. Take a blank piece of paper, grab a pen, and divide your page into four. Ask yourself each of these questions, and fill in a few dot points for each box. Confidence blooms from deeply knowing and understanding yourself, embracing your unique qualities, and acknowledging your accomplishments. These elements will help you to go onto look at pursuing your passions. Mindset Coaching: The Key to Unleashing More of Your MagicMindset coaching is a powerful tool that empowers women to shift their perspective, challenge their limiting beliefs, and develop the confidence to pursue their goals. Here's how THRIVE mindset coaching can further help you tap into the magic within YOU: 1) Identifying Limiting Beliefs
2) Cultivating Self-Awareness
3) Shifting Negative Self-Talk
4) Setting Empowering Goals
5) Building Resilience
Your inner magic is wating to shine. Remember, you are capable and worthy of achieving greatness! Honour your uniqueness, own your story, and believe in your capabilities. THIS level of radical self-acceptance is where the magic sparkles within you!About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in overcoming their professional anxieties, imposter syndrome, fears and insecurities to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching is about learning how to become fearless and level up your life and career! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.
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Have you ever found yourself wishing that someone in your life would change, thinking it would make everything so much better? Many women experience stress, mental and emotional strain as a direct result of the other people's behaviours and actions. "IF ONLY he/she would do THIS, then everything would be OK!"
If they would just make "this change" then our life would greatly improve, and I could stop worrying. I know, how amazing would it be if the people we cared about would do what we want them to all the time!! But here's the sad truth: You can't force anyone to change.No matter how much you want it for them or love them, what you say or do for them... only they can DECIDE to make changes in their life. You cannot control their choices or outcomes. And all that pushing will ultimately cause you more resentment, heartache, stress and pain. Which I know is a super hard to hear. I've been there too. I have multiple people in my life today I would LOVE to see change their ways - but a decade of trying to change them broke me and I had to learn to let it go. I've also seen this frustration in a few of my past coaching clients' relationships. Where women who have journeyed on the path of self-discovery for themsleves now want the same for their partner, sibling, child, or partent. However, in attempting to push them to "see the light" and change their habits and behaviours, they've ended up causing themselves angst. This is what I can share: You can't change them, but you can be the inspiration for their change. Perhaps even a catalyst, by showing them what is possible. The decision for someone to change their life has to be their own, otherwise the transormation may be fleeting or won't stick long term. If you can't walk the path for them, what can you do? Continue to focus on your own personal growth and well-being. Be the light in their life. From my experience it takes patience, but in time you may notice small shifts and improvements both in your life and theirs. Here are 5 actions you can take:
True power is found in changing ourselves and inspiring the change we wish to see in others. About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in overcoming their professional anxieties, imposter syndrome, fears and insecurities to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching is about learning how to become fearless and level up your life and career! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.
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*TRIGGER WARNING* In honour of World Suicide Prevention Day (Sep 10th 2023) This email talks about grief in losing a loved one to suicide, and how you can support someone you love through a mental health crisis. Three years ago, I tragically lost my dearest friend to suicide. A beautiful fun-loving soul, the kind of woman who had a smile and laughter that lit up the room. We connected on a deep level, even though she was 12 years younger. I think it’s because we shared similar personal, life and spiritual values. We had an interest in so many of the same things, from learning and travel, to cooking and our love for animals. We loved nothing more than to go for lunch in a cosy cafe and sit chatting for hours over cups of tea. Her tragic death taught me many lessons about life, the world, the medical system and myself. I've come to realise the hardest part of grief, in losing someone you love to suicide - is the guilt. Could I, should I … have done more? The answer in the mind is always yes. If I had my time again of course I would do so many things differently. But, in my heart I know I did the best I could at the time. Part of the healing process has been to look at my actions and reactions in this event with my mentor and she taught me something extremely important: Hindsight is a beautiful thing, but no amount of overthinking it will bring peace or bringher back. Acceptance is the key to healing. I’ve come to realise that my fear of “losing her” in her mental and physical health battle kept my mind clouded and captive. My voice of fear said: “What if I say the wrong thing and she dies? I don’t know the answers for how to help her in THIS pain”. Instead of tuning into my voice of wisdom: “You can never say the wrong thing when it comes from a place of love. What if you say the right thing and she lives?”. This is why I am so passionate about helping women with anxiety to learn how to quiet their voice of fear and tap into the loving kindness of their intuition, their voice of wisdom. By encouraging, understanding, reaching in, and sharing experiences with others, Suicide Prevention Day is about giving people confidence to take action to prevent suicideGrief, as you probably know if you've experienced the it, has this way of stripping your heart bare to the darkest depths of your soul. And somehow over time your heart begins to slowly mend the cracks. I guess is the power of healing and love. But, you are for sure never the same person again. The anniversary of her passing each year coinciding with World Suicide Prevention week every September I know as a message for me to remember to, and not be afraid to, tell her story. I will continue to bring light where I can to the darkness. She is worth it, and so are you. This is a message for anyone who has a loved one or friend who struggles with their mental health.HOW YOU CAN HELP SOMEONE YOU LOVE IN A |