With December here, work, family and friend get togethers are back on.

We’re eating out again, attending parties, and even going shopping in real stores.

December is always a busy time of year, and 2021 perhaps more so given that many of us spent weeks in lockdowns and can’t wait to see people in real life (not that we didn’t love those zoom meetings…).

But between year-end festivities and summer holidays, we’re also finalising presents, tying up loose ends, finishing projects, and probably planning for 2022 as well.

And the worst part? All this busyness and hustle and go-go-go is (dare I say it), “normal” and often even glorified.

So, if you’re like most women I know and coach, the busyness and hustle you normally feel is likely really, really ramping up this year.

Now to be honest, “hustle” is not one of my favourite words, but (unfortunately) it describes what most women can relate to.

One definition of hustle is to “proceed or work rapidly or energetically”. This almost sounds like a good thing doesn’t it? And perhaps that’s why many have come to see it that way, but is it?
Never before has any other generation lived as fast a paced lifestyle where being “busy” and “hustling” are actually promoted, accepted, and rewarded.

I see part of the issue is that we can get almost anything we want on demand through our phones, tablets, and laptops.

Whatever we want to know, learn, plan, or look up is at our fingertips 24/7. Podcasts, YouTube, social media, news outlets, magazines, and almost every book ever written is all there with us. And let’s not forget the text messages, phone calls, voice messages, and emails.

When does it stop?

When do we turn off, unplug, or tap out from the noise and give ourselves a break?

In fact, you’ve probably been going so hard that you hardly take the time to move, nourish, enjoy, and rest the entire day.

Why? Because there’s SO MUCH TO DO!

And we’re being validated for this by society, our colleagues, our bosses, and even sometimes our friends and family.

This busyness and hustle have almost become badges of honour.

Where productivity, busyness, and hustle equal feeling and being valued.

There’s a quote I love by author Michael Gunger that says, “Burnout is literally what happens when you avoid being human for too long.”, and if we’re busy, hustling, pushing, striving, and going ALL THE TIME, then it’s almost inevitable that burnout will come.

Now don’t get me wrong, part of this drive is because we want to be the BEST version of ourselves.

We want to improve, challenge ourselves, and keep learning and growing.

And I love that and get it. I’m a personal development junkie!

We want to achieve success and have an incredible career where we feel fulfilled, create impact, are valued, and feel motivated to reach our goals and dreams. 
 
We want to have an abundance of time for ourselves and our families.
For the projects, sports and hobbies we enjoy.

We also want loving relationships and deep soulful friendships, which is amazing. 
 
And while I’m a firm believer that you can do absolutely ANYTHING, and that you CAN achieve it ALL, the reality is that you just can’t do EVERYTHING all at once. The more you hustle for these things the further away they’re likely to get.
 
So this year, let’s stop.
Stop being so “busy”.
Stop the relentless “hustle”.
 
Let’s take the time to stop, pause, and say no, or maybe, or not now, or some other time.
Prioritise your time, energy, health and wellbeing.
Slow down and take stock.
Fill your own cup first.
 
Plan for breaks, holidays, good times, and summer vibes.
Stop carrying your phone everywhere, and most importantly, stop constantly checking it.
Put auto-respond on your emails.
Set you calendar, availability, and voicemail to away.
Shut down the tabs, the browsers, the documents, and the spreadsheets.
 
And if you do have to do work, slow it down.

Take advantage of most people being on holidays.
Cancel your regularly scheduled meetings and avoid making new ones.
Keep your calendar clear so you can focus on “big picture” work of reflecting on the year and planning for the next.
 
While hustle might be the “norm” for most, it doesn’t have to be.
We can change it.

I want you to thrive, not merely survive.
I want you to feel confident and comfortable, stress and anxiety free (or at least reduced!).
I want you to feel in control of your mindset, goals, and what’s coming up next.
 
To help you with this, be sure to subscribe to my blog above, and check out my 1:1 coaching programs, 2022 intake begins in early January.
 
I’m here to help and here to remind you that perhaps the holidays are the perfect time to stop the hustle and truly enjoy the season.
 
Wishing you a happy and hustle-free holidays!
~ JB

At any given day, I bet you’re juggling 10 or more things at once. You’re thinking about work, home life, pets, children, friendships, family, and more.

Then December comes along and BANG, now you’re juggling all of the above PLUS present buying, holiday planning, catch ups, work celebrations, year end reflections, new year planning, etc…

With all of this added pressure (from ourselves and society), we may feel like multi-tasking is not just the best way to handle things, it’s also the only way.

Well, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but it’s not.

While a small percentage of the population (2% according to Forbes magazine in 2017) are good at multi-tasking, for the rest of us, constantly switching between tasks and attempting to multi-task actually decreases our productivity by up to 40%.

See when we’re multi-tasking, while it may feel like we’re working faster and efficiently, we’re actually more likely just spinning our wheels, never really moving forward. We’re producing less than stellar decisions, outputs, and work. We forget what we were doing, where we’re at, and sometimes if we’ve even finished the tasks we’re trying to work through!

We’ve got tabs open on our laptops.
Links saved in our browsers.
Lists all over the place.
Scraps of paper with random notes on them.

We’re also less able to filter out irrelevant information and decrease distractions, meaning we often make mistakes which means going back and redoing the work we thought we’d completed.
In addition to this, multi-tasking also leads to:

• Mental exhaustion
• Physical exhaustion
• Brian fog
• Memory issues
• Frustration
• Outbursts
• Decision paralyses
• Increased caffeine reliance
• Mindless eating and snacking

Are you getting a clearer picture of why multi-tasking really isn’t ideal?

Yes? Good.

Now I know it might sound like the complete opposite of what you want to do, but introducing even a few of the suggestions below will go a long way in decreasing your multi-tasking habits and increase your productivity and the quality of everything you do.
​
1. Focus on one thing at a time.
If you’re finishing up a report, focus on the report. Don’t click on browsers to figure out what time the shopping centres close so you can stop in after work.
 
2. Be present with whatever task you’re doing…
How can you possibly write a heartfelt Christmas card when your mind is thinking about the email you need to send to your supervisor? Write the card.
 
3. …. and THEN move on to the next one
With the card written and tucked in its envelope, now you can write up that email and give it your full attention.
 
4. Commit to “Do Not Disturb” time
It’s hard to ignore all the notifications popping up all day, so let your device do it for you. Either pause, turn off, or set your “Do Not Disturb” so you can really concentrate.
 
5. Create time blocks
Whether these are in 20minute windows or more or less, set your alarm or timer so you can stick to the task at hand (rather than bouncing from task to task) knowing that your next time block will be focussed on that task.
 
6. Shift your “big projects” to earlier in the day.
Most people work best in the mornings before decision fatigue and interruptions have kicked in, so carve out this time (by using Do Not Disturb and time blocks) to work on those bigger projects.

Here are three more important ways to reduce multi-tasking are to simplify our decision making so we don’t end up with decision fatigue.

1. Especially this month, really try and stick to a regular daily routine. This constant will help ground you when life seems all to hectic and ensure nothing gets forgotten.
2. Meal plan for the day, week, and especially any socialising where you need to bring food. Having this sorted ahead of time will free you up to focus on what’s in front of you.
3. Simplify your wardrobe by wearing a similar outfit each day or planning your outfit the day before. By doing this ahead (especially around special occasions), you’re not rushing around prepping, wrapping, and trying to get yourself ready and out the door while encouraging the kids to do the same!

For myself and my clients, I find the tips and tricks above go a long way in decreasing our multi-tasking and decision fatigue.

I want to enjoy this time of year, and want you to do the same, so let’s choose even one of the suggestions above and really commit to it.

Let’s stop multi-tasking and focus on the task at hand.

As always, I’m here to help with these and other ways to get you thriving, so be sure to subscribe to my blog above, and if you’re really keen, book in a here so we can see which of my coaching for programs might be best serve you.

Take care
JB

As a Mindset + Business Coach, the question I’m asked most often is:

“Janel, what’s the ONE THING I can do on a regular basis that’ll make the biggest positive difference in my life?”. 

My answer? 100% your morning routine. 

The things we do every day make a difference. They make a difference to our mental and physical health and wellbeing, to our mindset, and to how we head into and experience the day. It’s the “little things” we incorporate into our routines and practice every day that can make the biggest overall difference. 

Now the tips and suggestions I’m about to share with you probably aren’t anything new. Many of us already KNOW the practices that are good for us, the trick is actually DOING those things.

Meditate, journal, exercise, eat well; we know these are building blocks to thriving and making us feel better. The difficulty is putting one foot in front of the other to get started… and then to keep it going. 

Sometimes the biggest block is that it all just seems so overwhelming… if I'm going to start a new morning routine, then it means I have to get up at 5:00am. Then I need to spend an hour and a half doing ALL THE THINGS to fill my mind, move my body, and get ready mentally and physically for the day. And next? Wham, there's an extra hundred million things to add to an already full morning. 

Enter your mind saying, “This is too hard. There’s too much to do. Forget it. No deal.”
Now stop.

First, don't think about the 50 million things you have to do tomorrow, this week, this month, etc… 

Instead, focus on what you can do TODAY. 

Focus on the one LITTLE thing you can do today, that can be incorporated and repeated tomorrow, and the day after. Focus on the ONE THING you can do today, incorporate it slowly and gently into your morning, and then become consistent at it over time. 

If you have one of my Learn to Thrive journals  you know all about incorporating small changes over time. I call the morning routine “Five to Thrive”, and once you’ve gently incorporated all five into your morning routine it will look like this:

• 10 minutes of journal writing
• 10 minutes of meditation
• 10 minutes of moving my body
• Eating a healthy breakfast
• Listening to music 

These are my non-negotiables every single day. Why? Because they help set me up for a thriving day. It’s 30 minutes every morning that sets my body and mindset for a happier and healthier day.
Now you try.

Start with waking up just 10 minutes earlier tomorrow and choosing ONE THING (not ALL the things!) to add in.

After you’ve chosen this one thing, do it consistently for the next 30 days. Do this one thing (and only this one thing!) until you’re comfortable with it. Only when you’re comfortable with it is it time to incorporate something else. 

So now that you’re comfortable with it, the next day you get up another 10 minutes earlier, and add ONE more thing, commit to it for the next 30 days, and so on.

Does this seem slow? 

Maybe. 

But see it’s all about baby steps and simplicity. No complexity and no overwhelm. 
We’re aiming for one thing to be incorporated slowly and steadily over time. And the compound effect of this gentle routine on your mindset? 

Trust me, it is truly, truly incredible. 

You start feeling more comfortable and confident in yourself and in your days. You wake up each morning, practice your routine and eventually find that you feel amazing. You feel amazing and your days and weeks and months are running smoother because you've been meditating every day, been writing in your journal every day, been moving your body every day, been eating a nutritious breakfast every day, been listening to music every day. 

This compound effect of all these “little things”? AMAZING!

Feeling motivated to get started? Do it! 

Not so motivated? Don’t wait! 

Why? Because you may never feel motivated to start, especially if it’s something new (or involves getting up earlier). Instead, take the leap, set your alarm, and jump in. Choose the one thing you’re going to start with and just start.

Will it be easy? Maybe. That’s why taking gentle steps over time helps. 

But sometimes however you might need additional support along this morning routine journey. If this is the case, follow me at janelbriggs_thrive on Instagram and see how I use the "five to thrive " method or simply email me, hello@janelbriggs.com - I'd love to hear from you!

Take care, JB

Stress is everywhere right?
 
It's in the work environment and home environment. It’s in our relationships with our partners, kids, bosses and colleagues. It’s in politics (hey there recent US election!), economics, world issues, and COVID-19. It’s all of THOSE issues triggering all of the stress our lives isn’t it?
 
YES, these external elements cause us stress, but guess what?
There’s another cause as well, and one that’s more hidden and personal.
 
This is the (daily) stress that comes from our OWN destructive thinking. Our own fearful, doubting, criticising, and second-guessing thoughts. It’s our negative mindset and perhaps lack of boundaries. 

​
Step One: STOP
When we think these thoughts, or worse get them looping around in our heads, we need to STOP and not do anything at all. Why? Because this thinking often leads to feelings of lack, confusion, and discontent.

We become paralysed by our own doubtful thoughts and the stresses that come from these negative and often looping self-talk. We stay stuck battling inside our heads all day.

We feel and create that stuckness because we’re not moving forward and we're not moving back.

We’re half in and half out. Not committed and not rejecting it either.

And then we start with the shoulds. I should be doing this, I should be doing that… And then the shoulds build up… and then we cringe inside because we're unable to listen to the part of us that says, “Yes! Go  do that thing that you want to do.”
 
Enter Step Two: OBSERVE
What if once you stopped you then became the observer of your thoughts? What if when you stopped you could catch that thought when it starts? What if you could catch it, observe it and work to reframe it and ask it where it comes from?

Let’s try it.

For one day (why not today?) decide that you’re going to be an observer of your thoughts. You’re going to catch just one negative thought before it spirals. You’re going to stop and follow it and keep following it until you know where it comes from. And once you know where it comes from, you’re going to explore it and be curious about why it’s here. And then you’re going to consider whether or not it’s a thought that tends to show up a lot in your life.

Another thing you could try is catching that negative thought and deciding to reframe it to a positive thought instead. Reframe it by taking the thought from “negative” or “bad” so that its context is changed so you can see the positive, or at least the neutrality of it.
 
Step Three: BOUNDARIES
In working with clients I’ve learned that it’s important to help them set healthy boundaries around (for example) people in their lives that trigger them emotionally or in other ways. You know the people. The ones who are vying for your attention. The ones calling you and contacting you, needing you now, now, now. Everything is now. Everything is urgent.

Well again, let’s try something.

For one day (perhaps today?) try NOT responding to all those (non)urgent cries for your attention. Put your email on auto-responder. Let the phone call go to voice mail. Change your status to offline. Silence your phone (or at least the notifications). Choose one person, some people, or everyone to implement these actions and boundaries with. The important thing is that you protect your time, energy, concentration, and thoughts by building healthy boundaries to prevent that stress from creeping up.
 
And Step Number Four: AFFIRMATION.

You know I love positive affirmations, and use them daily in my journal and life. Start with one positive affirmation, just one. Practice writing it out and saying it to yourself or out loud.

Now the trick with affirmations is to say them, write them, and use them daily. To repeat. Repeat. Repeat until you believe and there is no doubt in your core.

I want you to think, write, and say aloud one or more of the following:

• I am a creative and organised woman.
• I am beautiful in every way.
• I believe in my strength, intuition, and power.

Repeating your affirmation(s) is guaranteed to shift your negative beliefs and quiet the destructive thinking that so often leads to stress.
 
After reading over these four steps, how do you feel? How do you feel about acknowledging the external stressors while also taking responsibility for your OWN stress-inducing thoughts? For reframing negative thinking? Setting up boundaries? Reciting affirmations?
 
Yes, it’s not easy to do straight away. And yes it will take practice. Start slow, go gentle and know that you’ve got this.
 
Now pop a comment down below or send me an email to let me know how you’re going or how I can help. Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter as well so you never miss any stress-busting learn-to-thrive tips again.

Anxiety is 100% the physical response your body has to fear. Sometimes the fear stems from a real threat. If you’ve ever been bushwalking and seen a snake you would be absolutely grateful your body responds to the threat and triggers you to move to safety.

More generally in our everyday life or work-home-sleep-repeat the fear typically comes from an imagined danger. Meaning that the fear emotion is caused by our own thoughts. Things (or obsessing!) about the future and all the unknowns is what actually triggers the fear.

​Your worried and fearful thoughts then spark a hormone response in your body. Your body is flushed with cortisol and adrenaline, stress hormones as the fight or flight mode gets turned on. Your body thinks it needs to act on these fearful thoughts and either get you out of the situation or fight it.

The anxiety symptoms you get may differ from the woman next to you - stomach-ache, racing heart, racing mind, the shakes, loss of appetite, shortness of breath, muscle tension, insomnia etc
The problem is that the body is amped up, just from what you’ve been thinking!
The stress hormones have nowhere to release.

The good news in all of this is that I “thinking” got you in the situation, then our thoughts can be changed and ultimately get us out of it!

If you suffer anxiety, the key to freeing yourself is learning how to master your mind, and doing some work to heal your unconscious belief system and release that base level emotion of fear.

​The flow on effect is that our body response changes!

So, if you are ready to release the fear here are my 3 steps to help you start to learn to shift your anxiety:

I bet you’ve looped around in your mind down a rabbit hole of “what if this and what if that happens” over analysing and over thinking every possible scenario of this situation GOING WRONG.

It is basically your imagination having a field day. Triggered by that first fearful worried thought.
So, when the loop starts, I want you to catch yourself. Sometimes that is the hardest step. Catch the thought process before it spirals. If you can do that, you can master anything.

First things first move your body, go for a walk, get some fresh air, take some deep square breaths. Get out of the space you were in. You want to move your body and shift that flush of stress hormones. Remember the fear from your mind has just flooded your body with hormones.

Then Ask yourself: Is this a real or imagined scenario?

Am I on the “what if” loop Janel was talking about AND imagining every possible scenario going wrong, and being the worst it could ever be?

Say to yourself “This situation is not real. It is not set in stone. It has not happened. I am safe, I am safe, I am safe”

Use this like a mantra and keep repeating it until the feeling begins to lighten as you realise that this is your imagination taking you places that you do not need to go.

Break it down into specifics to get clear on the fear:

• What am I afraid of? Slow down, and tune in. 
• What specifically am I anxious about? 
• Why is that a concern?
• What are you specifically worried about in THAT concern?
• How is that a problem for you right now?
• What is this stopping you from doing, or causing you to do right now? Are you lashing out? Are you an emotional wreck?

And once you’ve got specific about it then get rationalise it, lets shine some reality on it!

Ask yourself “What would happen if this thing, that you now realise you’ve imagined in your mind, did actually happen?

On a scale of 1-10 how likely is it that this could actually happen.

And if it did how bad would it be? Is it really as bas as what you’ve imagined which is the sky is falling.

Sometimes our imagination has us down a rabbit hole and in reality, on the scale the event actually happening is like a 2-3, or but the fear in us triggered as a 10.

This step is all about perspective.
​

Why is Anxiety is showing up in your life?

This may be an entirely new concept for you, and it may or may not resonate and I’m ok either way.

I’m talking about the WHY – have you ever asked yourself WHY is this fear showing up in your life? What do I need to learn?

A growth mindset says that everything we go through, every challenge every obstacle is an opportunity to learn and shift and grow.

Tad James, one of the founders on Neuro Linguistics Programming, the coaching modality that I have been professionally trained in states that :

“Anxiety is your unconscious mind telling you to focus on what you want” – this body response you are having is reminding you to stop and focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want.

So, what is your anxiety trying to tell you?

Maybe even instead of hating on your anxiety could you shift your perspective and see your anxiety as a signal from a friend within?

And when you start to feel anxious you realise this friend is asking for your attention? She wants you to wake up. She wants to work with you, there is something she wants to tell you.

So, ask her – ok friend you’ve got my attention. What am I focusing on? Am I focusing on what I want, or what I do not want?  

• Ask – what do I want here?
• Is that toxic job or friendship or relationships not what I want? And yet I continue to keep going back?
• Do I keep pushing myself to do things in situations, or for other people that I really do not want to do?

This concept may take some time to ponder, but this is what I am here for!

I am here as a Mindset Coach to stretch your conscious and unconscious thought process to help you get back to thriving.

If you struggle with Anxiety and you would like to find freedom from this grip of fear in your life, then I would love to help you.

I run a 2 session short program that will help you to identify the root cause or event that has programmed your anxiety and release it. You’ll get an understanding of the specifics of what triggers your anxiety. And you leave the session with an amazing tool – you will learn my anxiety release technique to have help you in future.

Email me here or comment below for more information!

Take care, 
JB

The truth is… when we live in a world where we are expecting other people to react or respond to us in the way WE WANT them to… we are only ever going to be the ones feeling let down.

Why?  Well, we actually have zero control over other people. We cannot control the way they react or respond to us, or the things that happen in relationships.

We can hope, wish, dream, push and pull that person to our expectation level – and yet, NOTHING is ever going to happen the way we expect it to. So, what happens then?

• Feelings of resentment rise up
• Feelings of disappointment rise up
• Feelings of frustration and hurt rise up

Sometimes even a deep seeded feeling of sadness overcomes us – from that emotional disconnection. The disconnect of how you expected a person to behave, or for how things were supposed to have played out.

I want to share with you that EXPECTATION... is actually a type of control. Essentially it is where we are attempting to control the outcomes.

I say WE, because I am no stranger to putting expectations on people. I used to put people and certain relationships in my life on a pedestal. And then I could never work out why I felt so deeply wounded when things didn't play out how I had ex[ected. It was so much more than disappointment. It was a wound and crack.

It was my own unachievable expectations... hurting ME.

Many many years ago, in a romantic relationship I viewed a person in my life as better than me. I raised him up onto a golden throne, put his hopes and dreams and money-making ability ahead of mine.  In my mind I fantasized about how it would all work, how he would respond to the glory of me supporting his dream, and how he would act in kind love and gratitude for this service and in turn support me emotionally and financially. And make me happy. THE END.

I actually set him up to FAIL ME.

I EXPECTED him to be the person I had imagined in my mind, when in fact the reality in front of me showed nothing of the sort. I wasn’t allowing him to be the person that he always was, OR accepting him for who he was.

Looking back now I realise that my expectations killed my happiness.

Nothing was ever good enough to the imagined scenario in my head. How could it be? I expected too much - how could anyone one person ever live up to those grand expectations?? So much PRESSURE. And of course, when things didn’t happen as I had expected - I responded to my hurt and "wounds" by lashing out in resentment and frustration. (I was a fire-cracker in my twenties!) Then isolate feeling deeply disconnected.  Obviously, that relationship didn't last.

One of the biggest learnings in my life has been that having high expectations of people, is only ever going to hurt YOU.

Instead of having expectations, I learnt how to have STANDARDS. 

Standards are awesome, they are based on fact.
A standard is a level of quality you want to have within a person or relationship in your life.

Expectations are based on fiction.
An expectation is a strong "belief" (hope/wish) that something is going to happen the way you want it to, in the future. 

So, how do you create this shift within your relationships?

1. Calibrate your expectations on a person’s behaviour

If a person in your life is showing you their “standard behaviour” and it doesn’t align with your personal values – then know that putting an expectation on them to BE SOMEONE DIFFERENT or act differently is only ever going to hurt you.

Drop your expectations. Create your standards.

If someone is treating you a certain way that is upsetting you, and when you calibrate on current and past experiences you realise this is their "standard behaviour" towards you = then you have a choice.

Do you accept this persons standard behaviour?  If this is as good as it gets - are you happy with how it is going to be?

What behaviour will you allow, or and not allow in your life? 

2. All you can control is your own emotions

How WE REACT and RESPOND to the people, situations, and conversations in our lives is the only thing we can control in our life.

It’s a hard truth to learn, and I am grateful for the lesson. I learnt that if I stopped having expectations of people in my life (and focussed on standards instead) - I could accept and value people for WHO THEY REALLY ARE.

Accepting the reality of the situation, not living with an expectation of how it “should be” means you will be able to have more control over your emotions.

You are no longer pressing someone to be someone they are not. 
AND on the flip side they aren’t trying to constantly live up to your expectations, and failing you. 

This allows you to feel more connected and happier in their presence.  No longer are we playing this “game” of attempting to control the story or the outcome! 

You be you.  And I’ll focus on me being me.

So, how do you actually release your expectations? A good question to ask yourself is:

“Are my expectations… killing my happiness?”

• Am I expecting someone or something to be different than what it REALLY is?
• What is this persons repeated behaviour actually telling me?
• Does this person’s behaviour align with my standards and personal values?
• Am I forcing an outcome and expecting someone to give me something they actually can’t give me?

Then, return the focus back to you:

• Why am I expecting someone or something to be what it is not?
• What do I need out of this relationship, or situation that I am not getting?
• Am I willing to accept this person/relationship/situation as is?
• Can I release my expectations, knowing that doing so will allow me to have more control over my emotions and my happiness?

I know this is a big topic, and you may just be scratching the surface with these thought starters- if you've been struggling in this area then I hope this blog has helped you to find some clarity. Share your experience with me any time!
JB