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Thrive Mindset Coaching
  • 1:1 Coaching
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    Author

    Janel Briggs
    Helping women  in Australia & Asia become fearless and anxiety free!

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You can't change them (but you can do this)

25/9/2023

 
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​Have you ever found yourself wishing that someone in your life would change, thinking it would make everything so much better?
​

Many women experience stress, mental and emotional strain as a direct result of the other people's behaviours and actions. 
 
"IF ONLY he/she would do THIS, then everything would be OK!"
  • Stop drinking or smoking
  • Save more money
  • Looked after their health
  • Got a new job with less stress
  • Fixed their (XYZ).
  • Listened to me more!
 
If they would just make "this change" then our life would greatly improve, and I could stop worrying. I know, how amazing would it be if the people we cared about would do what we want them to all the time!!

But here's the sad truth: You can't force anyone to change.

​No matter how much you want it for them or love them, what you say or do for them... only they can DECIDE to make changes in their life.

You cannot control their choices or outcomes. And all that pushing will ultimately cause you more resentment, heartache, stress and pain. 

Which I know is a super hard to hear. I've been there too.

I have multiple people in my life today I would LOVE to see change their ways - but a decade of trying to change them broke me and I had to learn to let it go.
​
I've also seen this frustration in a few of my past coaching clients' relationships. Where women who have journeyed on the path of self-discovery for themsleves now want the same for their partner, sibling, child, or partent. However, in attempting to push them to "see the light" and change their habits and behaviours, they've ended up causing themselves angst.

This is what I can share: You can't change them, but you can be the inspiration for their change.

​Perhaps even a catalyst, by showing them what is possible. The decision for someone to change their life has to be their own, otherwise the transormation may be fleeting or won't stick long term. 

If you can't walk the path for them, what can you do?

Continue to focus on your own personal growth and well-being. Be the light in their life. From my experience it takes patience, but in time you may notice small shifts and improvements both in your life and theirs.

Here are 5 actions you can take:
  1. Accept what is: Acceptance and understanding will always help to remove the negative charge, or feelings within you. Start by reflecting on your own feelings and expectations. Accept that you can't control another person's actions or decisions. Embrace the reality that people will continue to make their own choices.
  2. Communicate your needs: Engage in open and honest communication with the person in question. Share your thoughts and feelings, but do so without trying to force them to change. Instead, aim to understand each other better and find a common ground and let them know what you need in the relationship.
  3. Set boundaries: Establish clear healthy boundaries that protect your well-being and values. These boundaries are life fences that keep out the the energy and behavior you will not allow into your space. Rather than trying to make the other person change you may have to change what you can control a) how much time you spend with them b) when and where you will spend time with them c) topics you will or will not talk about etc.
  4. Lead by example: Be the change you want them to see. Demonstrate the behaviors and values you believe in. Sometimes, your actions can inspire others to become "willing" to change
  5. Prioritise yourself: Focus on taking care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically. Seek support from friends, family, a coach or therapist if needed. Your well-being should be a top priority, regardless of whether someone else changes or not.
Remember, while you can't necessarily change someone else, you have the power to change yourself and influence the dynamics of your relationships through your own actions and choices.


​True power is found in changing ourselves and inspiring the change we wish to see in others.
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​About the Author:
 Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in overcoming their professional anxieties, imposter syndrome, fears and insecurities to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching is about learning how to  become fearless and level up your life and career!
 Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

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Shining a Light on Suicide Prevention: Hope, Help, and Healing

11/9/2023

 
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*TRIGGER WARNING* In honour of World Suicide Prevention Day (Sep 10th 2023) This email talks about grief in losing a loved one to suicide, and how you can support someone you love through a mental health crisis.
Three years ago, I tragically lost my dearest friend to suicide.

A beautiful fun-loving soul, the kind of woman who had a smile and laughter that lit up the room. We connected on a deep level, even though she was 12 years younger. I think it’s because we shared similar personal, life and spiritual values. We had an interest in so many of the same things, from learning and travel, to cooking and our love for animals. We loved nothing more than to go for lunch in a cosy cafe and sit chatting for hours over cups of tea.

Her tragic death taught me many lessons about life, the world, the medical system and myself.

I've come to realise the hardest part of grief, in losing someone you love to suicide - is the guilt.

Could I, should I … have done more?

The answer in the mind is always yes. If I had my time again of course I would do so many things differently. 

But, in my heart I know I did the best I could at the time.

Part of the healing process has been to look at my actions and reactions in this event with my mentor and she taught me something extremely important:

Hindsight is a beautiful thing, but no amount of overthinking it will bring peace or bringher back. Acceptance is the key to healing.

I’ve come to realise that my fear of “losing her” in her mental and physical health battle kept my mind clouded and captive.  My voice of fear said:

“What if I say the wrong thing and she dies? I don’t know the answers for how to help her in THIS pain”.

Instead of tuning into my voice of wisdom: 

“You can never say the wrong thing when it comes from a place of love. What if you say the right thing and she lives?”.
​
This is why I am so passionate about helping women with anxiety to learn how to quiet their voice of fear and tap into the loving kindness of their intuition, their voice of wisdom. 
​

By encouraging, understanding, reaching in, and sharing experiences with others, Suicide Prevention Day is about giving people confidence to take action to prevent suicide


​Grief, as you probably know if you've experienced the it, has this way of stripping your heart bare to the darkest depths of your soul. And somehow over time your heart begins to slowly mend the cracks.

I guess is the power of healing and love. 
​But, you are for sure never the same person again. 

The anniversary of her passing each year coinciding with World Suicide Prevention week every September I know as a message for me to remember to, and not be afraid to, tell her story.
​
I will continue to bring light where I can to the darkness. She is worth it, and so are you.

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This is a message for anyone who has a loved one or friend who struggles with their mental health.

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HOW YOU CAN HELP SOMEONE YOU LOVE IN A
​MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS
 

1.      Listen with compassion, remind them they are not alone and support is available today.

“How would you like me to support you?” or “What can I do to best support you today?”

2.      Help them to put a positive action plan in place to speak with their Doctor, Psychologist or mental health professional as soon as possible.

Remember that this is not solely up to you to fix, it may take a village of support and some time and space for that work to happen.

3.      Add the local mental health support hotline phone number in their phone.

Make the first call with them if needed and start the conversation for them.

“Hello, this is X she has been feeling X and we are looking for some support”

4.      Understand that people in a mental health crisis with suicidal thoughts are typically experiencing an intense negative emotional pain that they just can’t get rid of and this pain feels so big that they don’t know how to move past it.

This pain often makes them feel helpless without options. Ask a few questions to get a feel for the emotional pain or intense stress they are experiencing. Sharing this information with the hotline or medical professional can be helpful.

5.      Do not keep this a secret.

​This is very important. I know there is a stigma and shame attached to suicidal thoughts within our communities. We have to break down these isolating walls. Secrets will only ever keep a person sick. We must bring the dark thoughts into the light in order to have any chance of healing and moving forward

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MENTAL HEALTH FIRST AID

(Training for adults and parents/caregivers of children teens)

Knowledge and resources are what help us to feel more confident and empowered in stressful situations. Did you know there are courses you can take in mental health first aid? Available online for anyone who is interested in learning more about how to support someone through a mental health crisis.

My recommendation for quality online education for understanding mental illness and wellbeing is Meraki Mental Health Training.

​Learn more here:
MENTAL HEALTH FIRST AID TRAINING

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MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS HOTLINES AROUND THE WORLD

​If you or someone you love is having suicidal thoughts, get in touch with one of these amazing and supportive organisations:
 
AUSTRALIA
Lifeline – 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service – 1300 659 467
Beyond Blue Counsellor – 1300 22 46 36
 
SINGAPORE
Samaritans of Singapore - 1-767
WhatsApp – 9151 1767
Mental Health Crisis- 6389 2222
 
NEW ZEALAND
Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (text 4357)
Mental Health Foundation – 1737 (call or text)
Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865
 
UK
Suicide Prevention UK – 0800 689 5652
Samaritans – 116 123
CALM (evenings)– 0800 58 58 58
 
USA
Crisis Text line – 741741
Lifeline – 988
SAMHA National Helpline – 1 800 662 4357
 
CANADA
Talk Suicide Canada – 1 833 456 4566
The Listening Ear – 517 337 1717 

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Flip the Script: How to Rewrite A Bad Day

28/8/2023

 
Ever noticed how one little change can set off a chain reaction that shakes up your whole day?

Seriously, it's crazy how something as small as a negative thought, or a random comment from someone's grumpy mood can turn a great start, into a bad day.


Think about it - ever had one of those mornings where you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?


>> Maybe you spilled your coffee, missed your bus, or your child had a stage 5 meltdown over his corn flakes (true story! lol).


And then, BAM!


That bad mood tags along like a dark cloud, messing with your interactions and choices all day long.


It's like that one negative morning experience defines ALL the experiences of your day.


And your thoughts then decide to throw a party and invite all your complaining friends in to gripe all day.

On the flip side have you also noticed how one tiny 'thank you' or a kind compliment can turn things around and give your mood a 180-degree boost. 

​
 It's like a burst of sunshine breaking through the clouds.

Suddenly, you're smiling, your steps feel lighter, and you're ready to take on the world!
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But here's the cool part. We do have a choice; you can choose to react and response, OR NOT.

We often feel like we have NO CONTROL over they day, our mood or emotions. So we go on reacting and responding to everyone and everything around us. 

Imagine what could happen if we stopped giving the negative experience, thought or comment energy??

Here's a few examples of how to flip the script in your mind and rewrite the day:

-> Your spill your coffee - old thought: "I am such and idiot, I don't have time for this, this is going to ruin my day!" (self-criticism)

New thought: "Woops, well that is annoying - I'll go change now." (compassion)

You encounter someone who is rude/grumpy - old thought: "What a jerk, how dare they speak to me like that, why did they have to X - I'm so mad!" (transferred anger)

New thought: "Wow, they must be having a rough day" (deflect the emotion)

Missed the bus - old thought: "Oh great, now I'm late and today is going to hell." (frustration)

New thought: "That's ok, I'll just have to get the next one - nothing else I can do." (acceptance)

And, for the women who just feel like they wake up on the "wrong side of the bed" every day ...

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​Learn to Thrive ... my morning journal is the ONLY answer for that!

Here's why:

Every day you have the opportunity to rewrite your day, by following the prompts to set an intention for your day.
​

You begin your day with  his simple intention affirmation:

"Today I will .... "

  • Be calm and patient with myself today
  • Focus on the good in my life
  • Be responsible for my own emotions
  • Stay in my own emotional lane

By creating an intention for your day you flip the script and become the writer, instead of the audience. I know it seems TOO SIMPLE to be true, but it works. 

Try it, and see?

Ask yourself this:

What is my intention for this week? What quality do I want to bring into today?

​


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Self-Care Doesn't Have to Be Expensive

21/8/2023

 
In the midst of today's economic challenges, it's understandable that when things get tough, taking care of ourselves often slips to the VERY bottom of the priority list.

Everyone, and everything else comes first, I get it.

But I want to remind you of two important things - when life/financial/relationship/work stress is high:

  1. We're on a fast track to burnout (if we stop focusing on our own needs)
  2. Self-care doesn't have to be expensive!

Of course, day-spa's and weekend retreats, and nights out with the girls are amazing! But in truth, THE BEST self-care looks like:
 
Setting strong & healthy boundaries around your energy and time!
 
Boundaries are literally the decision you make to put yourself first, even when life is crazy. It's where I say: 

"This is the energy I will allow in/or the energy output I have capacity for right now"

And if you have a tendency to be a people pleaser, have a hyper focus on external validation, or someone who NEVER puts themselves first...

I've got a little "Boundaries Bingo Card" ready for you!
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​Snapshot that bingo card and this week I would love to inspire you to choose one bubble. Make that one non-expensive thing your self-care focus for this week.

And perhaps we need to take a page out of the Baby Boomer's book on the ​ART OF SAYING NO!

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Image & research credit: Thriving Centre of Psychology
These stats are crazy right? 65% of women have trouble saying No! 

Why is it so hard to set boundaries and just say no?

​As the research above states it comes down to a feeling of GUILT + OBLIGATION.

It's high time to flip the switch on that.

"If you’re feeling boxed into doing things you don’t want to do, don’t continue the cycle. Now more than ever is the time to prioritize your mental health and your happiness. At the end of the day, that’s what is most important!" - Thriving Centre of Psychology

Recently coming off a 7 week summer school break for my son here in Singapore (with a lack of  affordable school holiday programs) I was chatting to another Mum about how we've coped.
​
She said "Wow, you've got strong boundaries!" I said yes absolutely. I've hit burnout enough times(!) to learn what I need to operate at my best, and now I honour that.

These are some of the self-care habits that I stick to. 
​

Self-Care habits (without the price expensive tag):

  • ​Taking a long bath/shower with a home facial and shaving your legs
  • Not skipping breakfast, or sitting to drink your coffee while it's hot in peace
  • Asking someone to look after your kids/pets while you take a breather (walk, gym class, etc)
  • Not booking back-to-back big days when your energy is already spent
  • Scheduling those health appts that have been on the bottom of the list forever
  • Not answering someones call when you don't have the energy or time
  • Saying 'No' to people, places and things that aren't in alignment with what you want

Remember, you're worth every effort you invest in yourself. 


Life is always going to be busy, and I know you probably don't have the time, energy,  or resources right now for self-care. 

But if you don't put yourself on the priority list now... who else will? 

Any comments or questions, please reach out.

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About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

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Busy Isn't Always Better

14/8/2023

 
Have you inadvertently fallen into the trap of becoming addicted to that constant state of being busy?

​We've grown accustomed to this continual rush, over-committed on the move.

And I get it, there is always so much to do. Work, home, family, life. We live in an "on demand" society, where everything is urgent, and everyone expects everything to be done yesterday.

Now, I'm not saying being busy is inherently bad. We definitely have learned how to multi-task and get sh*t done!

But let's be real - when we are sucked into this whirlwind of non-stop activity, we often disregard own own well-being and miss out on the subtle signals our own bodies are trying to send us.
​

Research shows that a third of Australian’s are under “chronic time stress”.

  • About 38 per cent of women report being chronically time stressed – that is, they feel rushed for time “often” or “almost always”
  • The most time stressed people in Australia are the 35 to 44 age group where almost half report being chronically time stressed.
  • In the 25 to 34 and 45 to 54 age groups, about 42 per cent report being chronically time stressed.
  • Having children aged under 15 is highly correlated with higher levels of perceived time stress.
  • Women with two or more children are 15 to 25 per cent more likely to feel chronically time stressed compared with women with no children.

​Higher levels of time stress are correlated with worse mental health, lower self-rated health, less exercise and lower life satisfaction. (sourced: https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/a-third-of-australians-under-chronic-time-stress)

​And have you ever noticed that after a crazy stretch of hectic months, the moment you finally give yourself a break, take a vacation or even just a single day off - you end up falling sick?

Here's why:

  1. Biologically, when stress kicks in, our bodies pump out more cortisol, that key stress hormone. And when cortisol is in overdrive, it can decrease our immune system.
  2. Physically, what happens when we take a break? We stop. It's almost like our body says "PHEW! She's quiet! But for how long??". Sickness is a forceful stop to reset and recharge.
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So, my message is this: Busy isn't always better.

Could "busy" taking you away from something you don't want to deal with? What is your constant "need to be busy" behaviour telling you?

Take a moment to reflect today:
  • Are you using busyness as a way to avoid addressing certain aspects of your life?
  • What messages might your body be trying to communicate to you that you've been missing due to your busy schedule?
  • Where can you quiet the busy in your life and truly connect with your needs again? 

And let's stop wearing "busy" like a badge of honour and telling each other how busy we are. I would much rather hear about how quiet, content and happy you've been!

The truth is, when your life is jam packed – you’ll be less likely to have time to be present from the multi-tasking and external noise.  And being present is the place where feel MORE happiness, joy and contentment. What’s more important?

Janel Briggs

If you need support to help you release stress and calm your mind check out my free guided meditation here for relaxation.

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About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

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Motivation & The Elusive Work-Life Balance

7/8/2023

 
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Finding motivation, and achieving a work-life balance are two topics that come up a lot in my coaching, and truthfully, it’s taken me a long (very long!) time to work out the formula to this problem.
I don’t know if you can relate to this, but I’ve always been the sort of person who is “ALL IN 100%” on something.
In my corporate career if I was working on a deadline, I was ALL IN, meaning motivation for ANYTHING else in my personal life got pushed to the bottom of the list.
Later, owning my own business in the early years, if I was working on a project, or studying, or exploring a new idea, I was ALL IN and my motivation for healthy habits like exercise, eating well or sleep got skewed.
And if I was focusing on living, enjoying personal time OFF work, travelling (or at times battling my own mental health journey) - then I was completely checked out and unmotivated for work, exercise or ANYTHING else!
If you are an ALL IN kind of person, I want you to know that this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
There is no doubt, you’re a go getter and have probably achieve great outcomes!
Until… you hit burnout, or the all or nothing mindset becomes an issue and other areas of your life begin to fall apart.
What I realised is that my mind was stuck believing these three things:

1. TO FEEL THE BENEFITS OF THE ELUSIVE WORK-LIFE BALANCE MEANT MY TIME HAD TO BE DIVIDED IN EQUAL PARTS.

So, in order to be “in balance” I thought I had to dedicate 1/3 of my time to work, 1/3 of my time to family, 1/3 of my time to personal every week.
​

However, I call this elusive as this is an unrealistic goal. Nothing in life happens in equal parts!
As humans we are cyclical beings.

Every year our planet runs in seasons – no matter where you live there is a cycle and a change of season. Some countries like here in Asia has 2 seasons (dry/wet), where the majority of the rest of the world has 4 distinct seasons. It's planetary.

As women our body runs in hormonal cycles, which means our energy levels will always be in flux. Science tells us that there are certain times within our hormonal cycle that are better for productivity, exercise, and rest. It’s biological.

When I started to understand and accept that life also runs in cycles and seasons, I began to feel more motivation and my mind expand with self-compassion.

Consistent MOTIVATION is cultivated from self-compassion, NOT GUILT.

In the cycle of life there will be months where work takes priority, and weeks where family takes priority, and then other times of the year when your personal and health goals will take priority. Ask yourself this:

What is the most important thing you need to be focusing on - right now this week or month?

Now, if I am in a season of increased work or study, then it’s I allow myself to create boundaries around my energy and reduce plans, commitments or tasks in other areas of life. Similar for family and person life.

The key is to:

  •  Remember it’s not FOREVER this is a season or a cycle
  • Reframe going ALL IN – perhaps it’s 80 work/20 life - instead of 100/0 where you drop everything else
  • Reset and notice the signs when one area of life is out of skew BEFORE you hit burnout

Flowing within the cycle you are in, instead of berating yourself for not doing X or achieving X - means you’ll be more motivated.

2. I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND HABIT CHANGE AND BELIEVED I WAS UNMOTIVATED

Let’s talk about habits for a minute.

We learn habits through our conditioning, or from repeated past experiences. Our habits become imprinted as patterns or programs within our nervous system and brand, stored within the 95% unconscious part of our mind.

Once a habit (good or bad) is formed it occurs outside of our conscious awareness, and will continue operating the same program until a time where you bring the habit into your conscious awareness, and create a shift or change.

We all get so frustrated with ourselves and inflict so much guilt whenever trying to break “bad habits”.

But, I think the main point we forget is that if habits are learned from repeated past experiences – then we have to CONSISTENTLY repeat the experience, until which time the unconscious mind re-programs a new pattern.

The first step to habit change is always AWARENESS.

Becoming consciously aware so that you can see these patterns and "wake yourself up" to a new way of living. As yourself this:

What habits in your life today are working for you, or against you?​

3. I COULDN’T LOVE, BE PROUD AND APPRECIATE MYSELF UNTIL I HAD ACHIEVED (XYZ)

There is nothing more un-motivating that trash talking yourself.
I call GUILT the swampland of the soul – guilt will always keep you STUCK in the place you are in.
If your mind is on a loop of dishing out rude comments, telling you how bad you are and filled with negative self-talk – then you are ALWAYS going to feel unmotivated to do the THING. No matter what the THING is!
Self-acceptance, and taking action are how you are going to stay motivated and find your version of work-life balance. As yourself this:
Wherever you are right now, love yourself for the cycle you are in. 
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Photo credit: @lizandmollie

There is nothing more un-motivating that trash talking yourself.
​
I call GUILT the swampland of the soul – guilt will always keep you STUCK in the place you are in.
If your mind is on a loop of dishing out rude comments, telling you how bad you are and filled with negative self-talk – then you are ALWAYS going to feel unmotivated to do the THING. No matter what the THING is!

Self-acceptance, and taking action are how you are going to stay motivated and find your version of work-life balance. As yourself this:

Wherever you are right now, love yourself for the cycle you are in. 

And if you don’t know where to start to bring kinder thoughts into your life… begin with reading, writing or speaking positive affirmations every day.

Powerful "I am" and affirming statements. 

This healthy mindset habit that is going to help you to feel more motivated and shift your mindset to having more positive thoughts.

>> If you're new to this concept I have a free guide to help you get started >> DOWNLOAD MY FREE AFFIRMATIONS LIST HERE

THIS is the one habit you want to start, and even better - it's completely free.

As you navigate and redefine what work-life balance looks like for you personally take this newfound awareness and embrace the cycle or season you are in. Whenever you find yourself off chart, you can always reset. But, remember the foundation of your motivation will be built on self-compassion, not guilt.
Free Affirmations List Here

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About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

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Beyond the Angry Storm: Understanding and Processing Emotions

31/7/2023

 
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We've all faced moments when emotions surge within us like an angry storm. Emotional outbursts, fiery and fierce in intensity take centre stage and knocks us off our center. Defensive barriers go up, words are said, and actions are taken that don't always leave us feeling good.

What I've learned is that most of the time, it's not really about "the thing" that triggered the angry storm... is it? 
  • It's not really about the coffee cup and dirty dishes someone left in the sink
  • It's not really about the changes at work, or your boss favouring someone else at review time
  • It's not really about the family member's comment or opinion at the last catch up

Although those things are super ANNOYING ... they are just the tip of the iceberg, aren't they?

It's MORE THAN that "one thing" presenting itself... it goes deeper than that.

As a Mindset Coach it's my role to help YOU understand what is laying underneath those icy waters at the base of the iceberg.

Where the anger is in fact fueling from.

Anger itself is largely perceived as a secondary emotion that shows up when we feel we need to defend ourselves.

Most often, it's about OUR NEEDS.

What the anger is usually saying is ... when X happens (at home, work, in this relationship) I don't feel:
valued.
loved.
appreciated.
included.
understood.
seen.
heard.
special.

Am I right??
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​Further reading: great article on anger here. (Image Cred. Monica Vermani C. Psych.)
​LEARNING TO RELEASE & PROCESS  ANGER.

Internalised anger and resentment acts like poison in the body, and  will eventually end up festering and eating away  at the container it is in.

The anger held deep down inside, has to come out sometime. It won't stay locked up forever.

Sudden outbursts, conflicts and arguments begin to show up in other areas of your life for no aparent reason - not just with the person you originally felt angered by.

So, what can you do to release and process before it festers?

How to process emotions is sadly not a skill they teach us at school. I call it a skill because it'rs super important to learn and it takes awareness and practice to master.

In my belief journaling the #1 way to process your emotions. Here's how you can get started:

TUNE INTO THE REAL SOURCE OF YOUR ANGER:

  1. What specifically is causing me to feel angry/irritated/frustrated?

  2. Is it really about this one thing, or is it more than that?

  3. How are my needs are not being met?

  4. Where am I holding anger in my body?
​
  5. Acknowledge the true feelings beneath your anger (acceptance) and ask - what do I need to do in order to be at peace?


From here, you'll get clear on the next best course of action.

J A N E L  B R I G G S
Thrive Mindset Coaching


And, as always if you need more guidance please reach out via DM. Learn more about my 1:1 coacing programs here. TimeLine Therapy is an incredible tool for guiding you to release anger (and various other negative emotions) from it's core and get to the root of the problem. 




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​About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

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Escaping the Trap of a Lack Mindset

19/6/2023

 
Do you ever catch yourself fixating on what is lacking in your life?
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All the things you don't have... all the things that aren't going well for you?

"I don't have enough X (money, time, friends)
Why can't I have a new X (job, relationship, car, house, handbag, etc) like so-and-so?!?!
I never get the X (good opportunities, promotions, luck)"

Leaving you feeling unfulfilled, and on a constant churn of stress while pushing and striving for more?

It's easy to fall into the trap of longing for all that we don't have. I've certainly done it. Too busy looking over someone else's fence at what they're doing, instead of focusing on being present in my own backyard.
We live in a world that often emphasises comparison and scarcity; Social media is a huge trigger.

If you've been wondering, how to get out of this lack mindset and feel good about your life, you probably don't realise that you have a few things within your control today, that can help you shift your mindset. Even if you stay in exactly the same position you are in.

Here 's how to get started:

1) Cut Down Social Media

​If you are following accounts that make you feel "ick" after scrolling, then mute these accounts for 30 days.

See if you missed the content?? If you did, then go back to it and re-test how you feel after a break. If you didn't miss it at all, and you noticed a positive shift ... then unfollow the account.

Social media's general purpose is for connection and entertainment. If you're not feeling those things, then you won't miss anything that was good for you!
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(original source unknown, found Instagram @itssarahbryant)

2) Gratitude

I know, I know... everyone talks about gratitude. But that's because it works! Science tells us that when you shift your focus to appreciate what you already have, you'll feel MORE content.

"I am grateful for... "

Write down 3 things you are grateful for every day, on paper, in a journal, or your phone. I've even had a client who prefers to voice note her gratitude while she walks in the morning! Love it.
 
A few years ago I read a phenomenal book by Louise Hay, called “You can Heal Your Life”.

Louise is the grandmother of self-help books and the queen of affirmations and gratitude. One chapter in the book was really transformation for me. Louise talked about her own feelings of lack around money, and fear of her finances.

To combat this anxiety and overwhelm she use a small shift in language that had a huge impact. Each and every time a bill arrived in her mailbox; she would BLESS THE BILL and say:

"Thank you for the money in my account to pay for this bill. I appreciate this bill, knowing I have the funds to pay for it."

And, somehow she would find the money to pay for the bill, without stress.
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Wow, what a concept! Even reading this - how different does that feel?

3) Celebrate

  • Celebrate how for you've come
​We often forget the challenges and obstacles we’ve conquered.

We also usually are not comparing apples with apples. We get stuck looking at other people’s success and comparing our apple experience with their orange experience! It just doesn’t make sense.

Celebrate your big and small steps.

“I am proud of myself for … “

  • Celebrate what you have NOW

Look around you right now. Where are you sitting? What do you already have around you right now? Little moments happen every day that are proof that you are on your way to abundance, look for them and celebrate those moments.

5 years ago, I used to DREAM of the coaching business I have now! Imagine if I had of given up … because I got stuck in comparison and lack? There was healing, learning and growth I needed in order to become the Coach I am today. It was all worth it!

Author Gabby Berstein in her book Super Attractor has this wonderful concept she uses for celebrating and focusing on abundance.

It’s called “Gathering Twigs”. You create a list on your phone and every time you have a win, something good happens, or there is a sign that shows you that you are on the right track, you write it down.
​
I did this FOR YEARS. And it works. Anytime I felt lack or comparison, I would start a new list. Looks like this:
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  • And, instead of comparing yourself to someone else... try celebrating other people!

Comparison and judgement lead to resentment. Resentment is like anger, it can be toxic and poisonous. It will eventually eat away at the container it is in.

If you are walking down the street and notice a woman with great shoes, and immediately you feel envy - compliment her. Either out loud to her, or in your mind. Sounds like:

“Wow, amazing shoes, I love them”.

If you are scrolling social media and notice someone who is celebrating and achievement and you immediate feel less than, or upset that you don’t have what she has – celebrate her. Sounds like this:

"Well done, that's amazing. Good for her getting that new (job, relationship, house xyz). I know I am on my way to getting that soon too."

See how different it feel?

Remember, your journey is unique. You can and you will get to where you want to be. Staying present in your life, focusing on gratitude and celebrating your accomplishments is how you will get there.

All the best,
JB
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Take Your Power Back: The Key to Lasting Happiness

12/6/2023

 
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​Have you ever found yourself seeking happiness through external validation?

For years, I placed my happiness in the hands of others, constantly thinking that if certain people or circumstances aligned in a certain way, then I would finally be happy.
​
I would catch myself saying things like, "If my parents, sister, husband, son, boss, colleague, or X did THIS, then I would be happy."

I tied my happiness to achieving good grades, receiving recognition at work, earning a promotion, or even reaching specific milestones in my first business.

My joy was dependent on external factors and the validation they provided.

The problem was, and what I've realised through Mindset Coaching, is that MY long term happiness is an internal job... I am the only one that can change it or make it happen.

Yes, the external factors could give me a temporary hit of happiness, BUT they could never give lasting contentment. Here's why:
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* We cannot control the external factors! Or other people's opinion of us

*   We cannot control how much or little someone loves us! Or HOW they specifically show us love

The key was... I had to learn to know, love and accept MYSELF (all facets and parts of me) - in order to find my self-worth and experience a contentment that I never even knew existed.

And the most amazing thing happened, when I stopped seeking external validation...

I got my power back!

​In this video, I share the three crucial steps I took to break free from the cycle of seeking external validation and find true self-worth.

Let me detail the 3 steps I took for you here:

1. Get clear on what is in your control and what isn't

I learned that I cannot control other people's actions, reactions, behaviours or even the way they love and treat me. I cannot control every single outcome, to every situation in my life.

​There will be uncertainty, there will be change, there will be things that do not always go my way. No matter how hard I work or try to make it different. 

I can only control what is within my circle - my mind, my body, my emotions and my behaviours. How I think, reaction and respond is up to me. 

2. Start your day with a focus on self-care

I started my day with a simple shift. In order to love myself fully and build self-worth I need to be the most important person in my world, my needs matter. My own self-care has to be a priority. 

I decided to wake up 15 mins earlier, to sit listening to a short 5 min guided meditation and I did 10 mins of journaling positive affirmations - something I had never done before!  (If you are new to meditation I have a few to help get you started here)

I spent 10 mins stretching and doing yoga, then ate a healthy nourishing breakfast and I listened to music while getting ready for work. 

I found this short 20-30mins of "me-time" first thing in the morning would calm and refocus my mind, before the chaos of the day began.

When I filled my "needs cup" first, I found I wasn't looking to other people or external factors to fill my own needs. 

3. Do one thing this week that brings you JOY

I began a new habit where once a week I would do something that brough me joy - something just for me. Where I didn't have to do anything for anyone else. 

You see, I began to remember who I was outside of all the labels and hats I wore. Outside of the expectations, demands, stress and achievements of work. 

I started to love and reconnect to my inner child, the part of me that had gotten lost from putting all my happiness eggs outside my own basket. The part of me that was waiting for someone else to love, care and adore me, the way I wanted. 

It's an empowering feeling not waiting for someone to give you everything you need.

I began to breathe easier and smile more often. Life felt less heavy and more enjoyable.  

I realise that it had to start with me, just like it has to start with you.

And I am here to tell you - YOU can absolutely do it too. 

​JB

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​About the Author:
 Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free!
 Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

VISIT 1:1 COACHING FOR MORE INFO
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5 Simple Questions for Checking in on Your Mental Health

29/5/2023

 
​The most important day, is the day you decide your mental health is what matters most.

Once you create this mindset shift, you'll find quite a few things get easier to manage: 
​
  • Setting healthy boundaries
  • Who you will and won't spend time with
  • The problems and drama you'll give your energy to
  • Making decisions about the future

I think so much of the time, as women, we feel like putting ourselves first is somehow selfish. But, it's not. It's actually healthy! How can you continue to give the world from an empty cup?

I certainly couldn't. I was at the rock bottom of my priority list. My cup was so empty when I first recognised my mental health was a problem, I couldn't even muster the energy to get out of bed to feed my 3yo son.

(Tap to listen to my story...)
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Your Mental Health Matters. 

My first (and biggest!) mindset shift was recognising that I was the only person who could actually change that situation.

No one was coming to fix me. No one was coming to save me. 

I had to be the one who decided enough was enough, it was time for something to change.

My wish is that I can empower you with 5 Simple Questions for Checking in on Your Mental Health so that your life doesn’t get to its lowest point, before you decide it’s time for something to change.

Let's get into it:

1. How am I feeling emotionally right now?  

Checking in on your emotional state is an important step in assessing your mental health. Ask yourself:
 
“How am I feeling in this moment?”
“How long have I been feeling this way?”
 
In times of external stress, we often deny our emotions, push them down and say, “I’ll deal with that later, I don’t have the time for this”.
 
The funny thing about emotions is… we have to feel them, to heal them. Our emotions will continue to arise, in small or big ways, until we do.
 
And at some stage they could even become super overwhelming - anxiety, anger, frustration, sadness – derailing you from every day life.

2. Am I taking care of my basic needs?

Mental health is closely intertwined with our body’s wellbeing. Your body may begin to show symptoms of poor mental health before you even realise it consciously. Muscle tension, pain, feeling restless, headaches, insomnia, appetite changes are all key symptoms. Ask yourself:

"Are you getting enough sleep, skipping meals, eating balanced meals, and engaging in regular exercise?"

Neglecting your body’s basic needs can contribute to fatigue and the body’s stress. If you are not well slept and nourished, the mind has less resilience and finds it harder to process stress and emotions.

3. Am I managing stress effectively?

Are you feeling overwhelmed and constantly under pressure?

  • Is the stress from X (work, family, relationships) causing you to reach for sugary foods, alcohol, cigarettes etc, more often?
  • Do you find yourself staying up later binge-watching TV or scrolling your phone to “zone out”.
  • Are you isolating more often from friends and loved ones?

Take a look at your coping mechanisms and self-care practices. Health stress management can be as simple as making time to move your body, meditate, journalling your thoughts or connecting with a friend – after a rough day.

4. How are my relationships influencing my mental health?

Our relationships and the people in our life play a crucial role in our mental health. Ask yourself

“Do you feel supported, valued, and respected?”
“Do the people you spend time with uplift you, or drain you?”
“Is this connection healthy for me right now”?

Perhaps it’s time to create a healthy boundary and/or take some time away from the people who maybe feeling toxic right now, to recoup your energy.

5. Am I engaging in activities that bring me joy and fulfilment?  

When our external stress is at capacity, we forget about the simple act of doing things that bring us joy. If you are giving out all your energy to work, or other people’s problems – life is going to feel bleak really quickly. Ask yourself:
 
“When was the last time I did something just for the fun of it?”
“What is one thing that I could do, to bring more joy into my week?”
 
If you’re looking for ideas for spending quality time with yourself, perhaps try one of these:
  • Take off on an adventure, go on a bike ride
  • Go to see a funny movie
  • Grab a good book and go on a picnic
  • Spend time in nature
  • Baking or cooking (for no particular reason!)
  • Puzzles, painting or crafting
  • Organise dinner with a friend who always makes you laugh

​Remember, checking in on your mental health is an ongoing process. It’s essential to be honest with yourself and seek support if you notice any persistent concerns or challenges.

There is no downside from ever working on your mindset or making some simple chances to your daily habits!

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About the Author:
 Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free!
 Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

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