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This week I had a 3-day migraine. And if I’m honest, it scared me. Not just because of the pain itself… but because it immediately reminded me of a version of myself I used to know so well. The version of me who lived with chronic migraines and chronic pain every single month. The version of me who would spiral into fear the second symptoms appeared.
And even though logically I knew this was the first random migraine I’ve had since December 2024 (a VERY long time!!!) … my mind still wanted to panic. Because that’s what the brain does when something reminds us of an old painful chapter.It searches for danger. It searches for certainty. It searches for proof that we’re somehow going to be stuck “back there again”. But here’s what I had to remind myself this week: One hard moment DOES NOT erase all the healing, growth, work and progress you’ve made. One setback does not mean you’re back at the beginning! And I think this is something so many women experience during seasons of transformation and personal growth. You start changing your habits. You begin to set boundaries for yourself and others. You start healing. You begin reconnecting to yourself again. You feel stronger, clearer, more grounded. And then suddently the worst happens...You have an anxious week. You overthink again. You emotionally react. You feel exhausted. You doubt yourself. You fall into old habits or old fears. And immediately the mind says:
But healing and transformation were never meant to be linear. Growth isn’t a straight line upward where you never wobble again. Real transformation looks more like:
The difference is not whether you ever experience another difficult moment...  The difference is who you are now when the difficult moment arrives.Years ago, when migraines and chronic pain were a regular part of my life, I didn’t have the support system and awareness or tools I have now. Back then, I felt powerless inside what I was experiencing. Mainly because no one could help me understand EXACTLY WHY I was feeling the way I was feeling. It took me a long time to find the right support and enlist the help of my own body's intuition to get to the root cause and find a solution to my pain. But this week, despite the major discomfort, I noticed something important:
And perhaps most importantly… I trusted that this moment would pass. That is growth. And growth isn't perfect. It dips, ebbs and flows. If you're in a moment (or season!) that feels like a backwards step, remember this:YOU WILL MOVE FORWARD AGAIN! Be open to meeting yourself differently when you do. I think many women unknowingly measure healing by asking: From : “Why is this still happening to me?” But a far more powerful question is: To : “How can I support myself through this?”
Because transformational change often requires us to stop identifying with the old version of ourselves every time life gets hard. A difficult week does not mean you are broken. A setback does not mean you failed. An emotional dip does not erase your progress. It simply means you are human. And sometimes the greatest sign of healing is not that you never fall backwards emotionally… It’s that you no longer stay there. You recover faster. You become more self-aware. You stop abandoning yourself during hard moments. You stop turning temporary setbacks into permanent identities. One step forward and two steps back can still be progress if you keep moving. Because you are not the same woman you were before. You’ve learned. You’ve grown. You’ve built emotional tools, awareness and resilience along the way. And even if this season feels heavy right now, that doesn’t mean you’re stuck there forever. You’ve already proven to yourself that you can move forward before!! You will move forward again. What is within my control today? -Janel Briggs 
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 If you’ve been feeling more anxious, reactive, or emotionally fragile lately, it’s easy to assume you're just not coping as well as you 'should be'. Lashing out when normally we’d be more rational. Taking things more personally and becoming overly sensitive to other people’s comments or opinions. At work, letting doubt set in after small interactions, or assuming the worst in situations we’d usually handle with perspective. Over time, we internalise these reactions as a mindset problem. But it's not, it’s more often a sleep problem. When our nervous system is simply running on empty, it can affect how we think, react, communicate, and interpret the world around us. Think of a toddler who dropped their nap and is overtired? They become the most irrational crying-screaming human being on the planet! Think of a 5 year old who is overstimulated? They become as difficult to rangle as a herd of cats! Adults are very much the same, we just get better at masking it. One of the very first things I help women with in coaching is untangling the sleep puzzle. Because when we can establish a more regular sleep pattern, the shift in emotional resilience and day-to-day steadiness can be surprisingly profound. Sleep is emotional regulation, not recovery alone. Have you ever had a terrible night’s sleep that turned what is normally a manageable day into an emotional rollercoaster?? Where one small inconvenience sparked so much frustration it lead to tears and total overwhelm? Yes, I see you - I've been there too. Why on earth do we react like this?! Research from Harvard Medical School shows that sleep plays a critical role in how the brain processes emotion. During sleep, particularly REM sleep, the brain integrates emotional experiences and lowers their intensity. However, when sleep is compromised:
A 2019 study from the University of California, Berkeley, aptly titled “Overanxious and Underslept” found that insufficient sleep can trigger up to a 30% increase in anxiety levels the following day. What's even more eye opening? The same research showed that deep NREM sleep acts like a natural anxiety inhibitor. During this stage of sleep, the brain calms the emotional centres, lowers physiological stress responses, and prevents anxiety from escalating. In simple terms: deep sleep helps your brain stand down from 'threat' mode. For me, this is proof that sleep isn’t just a “nice to have”. It’s a foundational part of the equation and a practical tool we can use to care for and protect our nervous system. That’s the mindset shift I want you to take away today. Sleep is where emotional experiences are processed - without it, emotions stack up like bricks in a wall. There are only so many bricks we can carry before the wall cracks. Why anxiety spikes when sleep drops When our sleep is discupted, activity increases activity in the amygdala, the brain’s fear and threat detection centre, while reducing regulation from the prefrontal cortex. In real life, this looks like:
This is why women who are already high-functioning, capable, and driven often feel more distressed when sleep drops. Your system is doing its best, but without enough deep sleep, it simply doesn’t have the resources. When I started sleeping better, my anxiety didn’t totally disappear - but it became more manageable again. I seemed to have more resilience and the world felt less against me. Rest is important, but it isn’t the same as sleep Many people believe they’re "resting" while laying on the couch or in bed, but their nervous system disagrees. If you're scrolling, binge-watching TV, or working from bed this still keeps the brain stimulated. The body may be still, but the mind is still processing and remains on alert! True rest (for mind and body) requires disengagement. Generally, reading a book is the lowest stimulation for resting compared to screens, but it still engages the brain. Whether it feels restful or activating comes down to what you’re reading and why you’re reading it. More likely to be restful:
This kind of reading can help the nervous system downshift, especially in the evening and right before bed. Reading that is more likely to be stimulating:
This keeps the brain in processing mode, even if your body is still! If you love personal development books, my advice is always to read those in the morning or during the day, so your brain isn't stimulated at night thinking about all of the things you've just learned. If your body is resting but your mind is still ‘on’ then your system hasn’t stood down. 3 Practical Ways to Support Deeper SleepHere we go, now we're getting into the good stuff. First off, you don’t need a perfect routine but you do need consistency. These three changes alone often create noticeable shifts for my clients: 1. Cut caffeine (and sugar) earlier than you think Caffeine can remain in your system for up to 8 hours. If anxiety or racing thoughts are an issue, aim for no caffeine after 1pm to give your nervous system time to downshift and process the caffeine. That means coffee, green tea, matcha, chai, and most soft drinks. It’s also worth being mindful of heavily sugary foods and drinks. Sugar creates a quick energy spike followed by a slump, which often leads to craving more sugar or caffeine stimulation to “perk up” - keeping your nervous system in a cycle of highs and crashes rather than settling into rest. 2. Remove your phone from the bedroom If you're in the habit of middle of the night wake ups, where you reach for your phone to check emails and notifications during the night, then my number 1 non-negotiable to break that habit (to help you get better quality sleep) is to place your phone in another room when you sleep. Go back to using a traditional alarm clock for your morning alarm. Leave your phone in your en-suite or outside your bedroom door. Even brief screen exposure can spike alertness and make it harder to return to deep sleep. 3. Create a work and screen buffer before bed Aim for no phone at least one hour before sleep, and no work two hours before bed. This creates a healthy boundary around technology and work that sends a clear signal to your brain that the day is complete and it’s safe to rest. Many women also find that a short, guided sleep meditation helps close down the “open tabs” in the mind and relax the body into deeper sleep states. Here's one I recorded for you: "Peaceful Sleep Guided Meditation" No working from bed either! Think of your bedroom as your place of rest, we don't want the brain to be "on" think, think, thinking about all the things happening at work and our to-do list when you're trying to sleep. The mindset shift: Deep sleep is essential for stress, anxiety and emotional resilienceSo how many hours of sleep should you aim for each night? Ideally around eight hours. But if you’re currently averaging closer to six, don’t try to overhaul everything at once. Build your sleep in small, sustainable steps. This week, aim for 6.5 hours and focus on consistency: similar bedtimes in the evening and similar wake-up times in the morning. Small shifts done consistently are what retrain your nervous system. Over time, those half-hour gains add up to deeper rest, steadier emotions, and a version of you that feels far more like yourself again.
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January often arrives with a pressure to “start fresh” from January 1st, but this week I’ve been having very different conversations with my clients. Women who are highly capable, emotionally intelligent, and deeply self-aware… yet feel flat, overwhelmed, and strangely disconnected from themselves. No where near feeling "fresh" and excited for the new year. What I'm seeing is that their attention is too exhausted to even begin to think about the step to start "New Year - New Me"! We live in a world that expects or demands "instant" everything. That's created a habit of constantly fragmenting our focus in order to meet those expectations. Every day we end up splitting our time multi-tasking to get everything done:
But your nervous system doesn’t experience that as normal. It experiences it as never being safe enough to rest. Why multitasking drains your emotional resilienceWe are taught that multi-tasking is a productivity skill. It's something women do extremely well and often pride themselves on being able to juggle many things at one time. However, what they don't tell us is that multi-tasking is also a stress amplifier. When your brain constantly switches from one task to the next task without closing down any of the tabs, it burns our brain's energy faster, reduces our emotional regulation, and unfortunately increases anxiety. Over time, the more we mutli-task this shows up as:
As our brain never gets to fully recharge! Which then leads to... you guessed it LESS PRODUCTIVITY! The one thing we're trying to achieve by multi-tasking. Now, I know you probably love multi-tasking. I definitely used to, it was almot a badge of honor I wore. We all love being able to tick things off the list FASTER than lightning! And you're probably reading this thinking there is no way I can stop multi-tasking, I'll never actually get anything done... And I get it, there are so many shifting priorities and deadlines to meet every single day. So, if you can’t stop multitasking at work (and many can’t), start where you do have control. Stop multi-tasking at homeOne small practice I’ve been giving clients this week, to help calm their nervous system:
Be intentional with your time! Your brain has a limited attentional capacity. When you try to do two things that both require focus (reading emails + watching TV, listening in a meeting + replying to messages), your brain doesn’t split attention evenly. Instead, it rapidly toggles between tasks. That toggling uses A LOT of mental energy. Where you can = just focus on one thing at a time! You'll feel more grounded, and it's a big first step to helping you be "more present" this year, if that is something that you're wanting to achieve.
If you work from home and find it hard to concentrate or stay motivatedIf you work from home and notice your focus slipping, your motivation dropping, or the urge to multitask creeping in, this is important to understand: Your brain doesn’t recover by pushing through. It recovers through rhythms of focus and rest. One simple technique I often suggest to clients is based on the principle behind the Pomodoro Technique. Not as a productivity hack, but as a way to preserve brainpower and reduce mental fatigue. The idea is simple: Instead of working continuously until you’re exhausted, you work in short, intentional bursts of focus, followed by brief, regular breaks. Research shows that taking breaks before you feel depleted helps:
In other words, you’re working with your brain, not against it. What this can look like at home Here’s an example of how this might work in real life scenario, especially if you’re juggling work and home responsibilities:
This approach reduces the temptation to multitask because your brain knows: “I don’t have to do everything at once, there’s a pause coming.” Why this helps anxiety too When your nervous system knows rest is built in, it doesn’t stay on high alert waiting for the next interuption of your attention. Focus improves. Overwhelm eases. Mental energy lasts longer. This is about protecting your attention and reducing exhaustion. Which is one of the most powerful ways to support emotional regulation and reduce anxiety. Sleep is not optional for emotional regulationAnother theme I've been talking about A LOT this week with clients = SLEEP. Not just how many hours you lay there and close your eyes for, but also the quality of sleep you're getting. Which leads to how deeply your system is actually recharging (or not) every night. When sleep is compromised:
your nervous system is just tired. Rebuilding boundaries is how you rebuild yourselfWeak boundaries around work, health, lifestyle, relationships don’t just affect your emotional state and energy levels, they can also erode your sense of self as you continue to put everyone else's priorities BEFORE yourself. Over time, you lose:
This is the work I meet a lot of women and we do the work inside Rediscover Your Spark. It’s a coaching program specifically designed for restoring energy, identity, and emotional stability so confidence can return naturally. If this blog resonates and you'd like to learn more about these topics - reach out today! ~JB
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From an evolutionary psychology perspective, caring about others’ opinions is part of human nature. For centuries, this wiring helped humans survive. As social beings, we could only endure the harsh environments of early life in groups. Acceptance meant safety, food, and protection. Rejection meant danger and even death in certain situations. Because of this deep need for belonging, our brains evolved with a sensitivity to social approval and a fear of rejection. But in today’s workplace, that same instinct often works against us. Instead of helping us thrive, it can trigger comparison, erode confidence, and leave us second-guessing our capabilities. One of the most common struggles I see in the professional women I coach is the habit of comparing themselves to colleagues. Especially when a new leader emerges with a different leadership style. This kind of workplace comparison doesn’t just drain your energy. Left unchecked, it can spiral into what I call comparisonitis, a constant loop of “I’m not enough” even when you’re more than capable. Why Comparing Yourself to Colleagues Fuels Self-DoubtA client of mine, let’s call her Rachel, had just stepped into a middle-management role. She was excited. This was the career move she had worked so hard for. But instead of leading her team solo, the company brought in another manager to share the responsibility. We’ll call her Claire. Claire was outgoing, extroverted, and at times polarizing. The type of leader who could energize a room, but also miss the small nuances when she jumped out of the gates like an excited bull. Rachel, on the other hand, was thoughtful, deliberate, and more reserved in her leadership style. Two leaders. Two very different approaches. On paper, it should have been a perfect match of complementary skills. But in practice, Rachel started slipping into comparison: 💭 “Am I right for this role?” 💭 “I don’t have what she has.” 💭 “Will I still be effective if I’m not like her?” Instead of stepping into her strengths, Rachel began working longer hours, overthinking every decision, and quietly questioning her place. This is the trap so many women fall into: when leadership styles clash, comparisonitis creeps in and it convinces you that somehow different means less. The Truth About Different Leadership Styles Here’s the shift Rachel discovered through our coaching: Different does NOT mean LESS. She didn’t need to match Claire’s extroverted presence. What she needed was to recognize and own the value of her own authentic leadership style:
By embracing her strengths, Rachel realized she didn’t need to outshine her colleague, she needed to complement her. And once she stopped comparing, not only did her confidence return, her collaboration with Claire improved, and the team benefitted from both leadership styles working together. Introvert Leadership Strengths: Busting the Confidence MythBeing quieter or more reserved does not mean you lack confidence. True confidence isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about trusting yourself, your decisions, and your presence!  Video explaining introvert leadership confidence misconceptions How to Stop Comparing Yourself at Work (Three Confidence Tips)1. Catch the Trigger When you notice thoughts like “I don’t have what they have” pause. Ask yourself: What do I bring that they don't? 2. Shift from External to Internal Validation Instead of asking, Do they think I did well? Ask yourself:
3. Redefine Confidence Confidence doesn’t come from mimicking someone else’s strengths. It comes from leaning into your own authentic leadership. So, the next time comparisonitis creeps in, remind yourself: your colleague’s gifts or skills don’t diminish yours. By embracing your authentic style, you step out of comparison and into confidence. What your workplace needs most isn’t another version of someone else - it’s the real you! Janel Briggs Confidence & Mindset Coach 
I have a few spots open for a free Confidence Kickstart Session. Let’s map out your strategy and next steps together!
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Perfectionists don’t burn out because they’re lazy. And they don’t burn out because they can’t handle the workload or lack resilience. They burn out because they keep making the same hidden mistake on repeat throughout their careers: Believing that working harder will be "the thing" that finally silences their self-doubt. As a Confidence & Mindset Coach for high-achieving women (and a recovering perfectionist myself!), I see this perfectionism–burnout cycle constantly in my clients. Smart, capable women who already have full plates keep piling on more pressure. They believe if they just work harder, organize better, and get more in control, then the self-doubt will finally disappear. “If I just achieve more, I’ll feel better. When I get on top of everything, then this doubt will disappear.” It’s tempting to believe the answer is more effort. But sadly, true self-worth can’t be achieved through performance. No number of completed tasks, promotions, or achievements will ever silence that inner critic. Confidence and peace only come when you finally step off the treadmill of “do more, be more” and start building worth from a place of self-acceptance - not achievement. Why Hard Work Won’t Fix Perfectionism BurnoutWhen perfectionists feel the constant hum of “not good enough,” their first instinct is to double down on doing. That usually looks like:
But perfectionism isn’t a productivity issue. It’s not about time management or efficiency. Perfectionism is rooted in fear. And the harder you try to “fix, manage, or control” that fear by doing more, the louder it gets. That’s why so many perfectionists end up exhausted, overwhelmed, and questioning their worth. For many high-achievers, this often spirals into workaholism. Staying late, taking on more than anyone else, and wearing exhaustion like a badge of honor. It looks and feels like productivity, but at its core it’s really just fear running the show. Perfectionism Is Fueled by Fear, Not ProductivityPerfectionism wears the mask of hard work, but at its core it’s driven by hidden fears that fuel behaviors and push high-achievers straight into burnout:
If you’ve ever found yourself ticking every box and still going to bed feeling like you didn’t do enough… that’s not poor productivity. That’s perfectionism whispering, “Try harder. You’re still not enough.” It’s not a productivity problem. It’s a self-worth problem.
Like this topic? Head to Instagram to watch my latest reel The Shift That Changes EverythingThe turning point for perfectionists doesn’t come from another productivity hack, downloading a new goal-setting app, or committing to a 5-step morning routine. The real shift happens when you stop trying to fix yourself through hard work and start learning to:
Breaking Free From the Burnout CycleSo, what do you do instead? Here are three steps to start breaking the perfectionism–burnout cycle today:
When you stop chasing worth through overworking to prove you’re not the fear inside your head, you finally create space for confidence and peace. That’s when you break free from burnout and step into fearless living! Janel Briggs Ready to Break the Cycle? If you’re ready to stop running in circles of overwork and burnout, I can help. Through my coaching programs, I guide high-achieving women to quiet their inner critic, overcome perfectionism, and finally feel enough. 👉 Work with me here
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Have you ever walked into the office (or opened your laptop at home) already carrying a silent checklist of how the day should go?
And then… reality happens. Deadlines slip. Your inbox fills with “urgent” requests. Someone misses a detail you never would have overlooked. Instead of feeling accomplished, you end the day frustrated, anxious, and irritated with the productivity level. This is the quiet trap so many of us (perfectionists!) fall into. Our own 'expectations' can be the one thing stealing our sense of contentment at work. When Expectations Clash with RealityI remember a client telling me about a new team she started managing, Janel, I don't even think I set the bar that high, but no one else seems to be able to live up to the standards I believe are necessary. And when they don’t, I feel super frustrated. Like what part of my direction or explanation didn't make sense to them? Why can't they step up? Maybe you know that feeling too. That sting of unmet expectations and you're view of how the team "should be performing" can spiral quickly:
But here’s the thing: our own high expectations of ourselves and our work ethic often don’t match the reality of what others can produce and achieve. You see, everyone brings different strengths, priorities, and working styles to the table. What feels like standard “baseline effort” to you might feel like “overachieving” or even "unachieveable" to someone else. And when we measure their performance against the ruler of our own perfectionist standards, disappointment is almost always guaranteed. A Mindset Shift from Expectations to StandardsSo, here’s what I tell my coaching clients who are stuck feeling frustrated with unmet expectations: there’s a huge difference between expectations and standards.
For example:
Expecting that they value precision and a sense of urgency. But, unfortunately not everyone is wired the same way. One colleague might thrive under pressure and move quickly, while another produces their best work when given more time and to work at a slower space to process. One team member might place a high value on attention to detail, double-checking every number and document before handing it over. Yet another might shine when brainstorming ideas or moving projects forward quickly, even if their work isn’t polished in the same way. Both approaches have value, but if your expectation is that everyone should perform exactly as you do, you’ll miss the unique strengths each person brings.
A standard says, “This is the level of quality I can commit to within my capabilities and values system”. The beauty of standards is that they inspire others without imposing unrealistic pressure. Knowing and accepting each person’s standard creates alignment rather than resentment. See the difference? Unless you have a team of perfectionists or high achievers in a carbon copy cut out of you one will leave you frustrated when reality falls short. The other will keep you grounded in what you can control. When you recognize what someone is capable of and how they naturally work best, you can set realistic expectations and meet them where they are. This not only reduces your frustration but also fosters stronger collaboration. Because you’re valuing the contribution they can give, instead of expecting they would show up in a different way. Perhaps you could think about a conversation you can have to clarify their strengths, values, and working style.
 Coaching Tips for Easing the Frustration of Unmet ExpectationsIf you’ve ever felt like your high expectations at work are stealing your joy, here are a few practices to try: 1. Notice the “shoulds" The moment you hear yourself thinking, “This should have gone differently” or “I should have done more, instead of relying on my team” pause. That’s expectation talking. Ask yourself: Is this realistic? Or am I holding onto a picture that doesn’t match reality? 2. Redefine success in the moment Instead of circling in perfectionism, aim for effective. Ask: What outcome would move this forward today? You’ll be amazed at how freeing it feels to release the impossible standard of needing perfection. 3. Share your standards clearly Communicate what matters to you: quality, respect, timeliness. Invite your colleagues to meet you there. Standards unite; expectations can often divide. 4. Reframe “failure” A project that takes longer than expected isn’t failure - it’s giving you feedback. Use it as data for how to adjust next time. This one shift can transform stress and anxiety into acceptance. 5. Offer yourself compassion Perfectionist's are often the hardest on themselves. Next time you miss your own mark, try saying: "I did my best with what I had today, and that is enough". Compassion softens the edges of expectation. If you’ve been wondering why work feels heavier than it should, it may not only be the excessive workload it may also be those high expectations killing your happiness. As a mindset coach, I’ve seen how quickly perfectionist women reclaim their energy and confidence when they shift from unrealistic expectations to healthy standards. It’s not about lowering the bar. It’s about setting the bar in a way that supports both your success and your well-being. What if instead of demanding perfection, you gave yourself permission to lead with clarity, kindness, and realistic standards? That shift doesn’t just change the way you work... it transforms the way you feel about work. Confidence grows. Joy returns. And balance becomes possible! Janel Briggs 🔹 If you’re ready to release the weight of impossible expectations and step into a more empowered way of leading, I’d love to support you. This is exactly the work I do with women in coaching - helping perfectionists find freedom, confidence, and a leadership style that feels authentic. Let’s connect and explore what’s possible for you.
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How Values Misalignment’s Can Sabotage Your Career SatisfactionDo you ever lie awake at night thinking, my job’s driving me crazy? Or fantasize about quitting, even if you have no idea what you’d do instead? If you've been in corporate middle management-land for some time, you might feel frustrated with your role, your boss, the team, and most likely the workload(!). Or you’re no longer disillusioned about the company culture. But what if the real reason isn’t the actually the job at all that is causing you all this frustration and resentment? What if you’re simply out of alignment with your core values? Most women don’t realize how much our stress, confusion, anxiety, and inner conflict can stem from values misalignment. We often chalk our feelings of discontent up to being “too busy” or in a tough season at work for (xyz) reasons. But when your work environment or role conflicts with what matters most to you on a deeper level, it creates a subtle, constant tension that drains you… day after day. What Are Core Values & Why Do They Matter?Your values are your personal guiding principles. They're not goals or aspirations. They’re the foundation of what truly matters MOST to you, personally and professionally. Values might include the importance you place on integrity, creativity, collaboration, freedom, security, growth, fairness, service, achievement, family, or work-life balance. When you know your core values and live (and work) in alignment with them, you’ll find:
On the flip side, when even just one core value is out of alignment, the opposite happens:
This isn’t just “having a bad week”, it’s a chronic, systemic misfit between who you are and how you’re being asked to show up at work.  Signs You Might Be Out of Alignment with Your Company’s Core ValuesIf you’re wondering whether this applies to you, ask yourself:
Values misalignment doesn’t always mean you’re in the wrong profession or industry. Sometimes it’s about the organization’s culture, the leadership style, or a role that no longer feels like a fit. It might be directives from the CEO or senior leadership that don’t sit well with you or growing unrest within your team that signals deeper issues. For example:
These are not small annoyances… they’re signals. Over time, ignoring them leaves you feeling unfulfilled and disconnected, which can lead to disengagement, burnout, or even physical symptoms of chronic stress. Was it the Job… Or Your Values?Have you ever left a job because of culture, leadership, or workload? Thinking you’d found the answer in a new company, and then realised the new role came with the SAME problems you were trying to escape?! When women in corporate roles hit a breaking point, they often think, I just need a new job! We want to believe there’s a greener pasture out there. A place where we’ll feel valued, supported, and inspired again. But if you don’t know your core professional values, you risk jumping into another role that MIRRORS the same misalignment. Then the cycle repeats, because your mind is focused on escaping the current “pain” instead of identifying what truly needs to change. It’s extremely easy to fall back into familiar patterns, even when they no longer serve you. That’s why the first step isn’t immediately quitting and sending out CV’s, it’s getting clear on your core values and focusing on what you truly need to feel fulfilled, supported, and motivated at work. When you know what truly matters to you, you can:
Even small shifts can help realign you with your values, reducing stress and increasing your sense of purpose. Ally's StoryIs it the Marketing Industry I Can't Stand Anymore, My Company... or is it Me that's changed? Take Ally, a 41-year-old marketing manager I mentored and coached. On paper, she was thriving. She’d worked her way up over nearly 7 years at the same company. She was respected for leading her team through challenging campaigns, regularly earned accolades from senior leadership, and even received a promotion the previous year. But every morning, she felt a heaviness in her chest. She’d wake up with a pit in her stomach she tried to ignore. Telling herself “She was lucky to have this role”, that “She should just be grateful”. Her intuition and body were sending signals, but she’d silence them, put on a brave face and show up as the capable leader everyone expected. Underneath the praise and success, Ally felt like she was living someone else’s life. She realized she was constantly enforcing directives she didn’t believe in, prioritizing revenue over genuine customer value, which meant her team were sacrifice their personal time for deadlines that felt unnecessary. Ally’s core values? Integrity, collaboration, balance, and authenticity. Yet her role demanded that use messaging that felt out of integrity, compete internally for limited resources, and reward hustle culture even though it left her team burned out. No wonder she felt constantly anxious and disconnected! She wasn’t bad at her job, she was simply out of alignment with what mattered most to her. When Ally finally admitted that truth, things started to shift in our sessions. We worked together to clarify her values and helped Ally understand why specifically the company culture and leadership filtering down for the top felt out of alignment with her own values system. We also examined which aspects of her work she could influence, so she could begin advocating for more transparent messaging and realistic timelines. Turns out Ally didn’t really resent marketing! She just hated feeling forced to betray her own values. Once she realigned with her values she felt empowered to make decisions from a place of confidence, not resentment or frustration. Eventually, Ally chose to move to a smaller company whose mission and culture better matched her principles, and she has never been more content. Discovering the Values That Guide Your WorkIn coaching, we help you to identify your top 5 core professional values, through a values elicitation process based on an NLP coaching framework. If three out of five of those core professional values are out of alignment at work, you’re still showing up and doing the job BUT you’re doing it while feeling increasingly unhappy, frustrated and disengaged. When four out of five values are out of alignment, you’re usually already one foot out the door OR even thinking about quitting tomorrow without another job lined up, just to escape. On the flip side, when you’re in strong values alignment with four or five of your top values being met, you'll experience a clear sense of purpose, greater satisfaction, and real fulfilment in the work you do. Even if the job is demanding in a fast paced stressful environment. It’s also important to say that if just one or two of your core values are out of alignment, you'll usually keep going working there without too much distress. You’re able to do the job and move forward, often staying hopeful that things will change or even brainstorming ways you might create that shift yourself. Perhaps my main message is to be aware, a nagging frustration or continued restlessness may serve as a clue something’s off beneath the surface.
The better the alignment, the more engaged, committed, and fulfilled we feel at work. Clarifying Your Values AlignmentIf you suspect there could be a values misalignment with your work festering behind your dissatisfaction, here are a few journal questions to help you reflect:
Aligning your work with your values isn’t always easy.Before you blame your job, the company or industry entirely (or plan an exit strategy!), give yourself permission to explore whether it’s the job you resent - or a values misalignment that’s making it unbearable. Aligning your work directly with your values isn’t always easy, but it’s the surest path to greater fulfilment, clarity, and your overall well-being. When you understand what truly matters to you at work, you can make intentional choices about where you work, how you work, and how you want to lead in your life and career. -Janel  Wondering if your career is truly aligned with your values? |
 | Janel Briggs, is a Confidence & Mindset Coach trained in NLP & TimeLine Therapy®, author of Becoming Fearless. As an expat who has moved internationally four times, she understands the challenges of identity crisis, rebuilding confidence after set backs and the power of personal development. Janel specializes in helping women break free from self-doubt, anxiety, and limiting beliefs, guiding them to rediscover themselves and create purpose-driven lives with confidence and clarity. |
 | “I’ve got everything I thought I wanted—successful career, a family, our own home—so why do I still feel so empty and disconnected from myself? |
Lastly, I want to remind you that feeling “lost” doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re evolving.
“I don’t know why I feel this way—it’s not even something I wanted. But now I feel like I'm falling behind. Like I'm a failure.”
"Why haven’t I achieved that?" instead of focusing on, "What do I want, and how can I get there?"
 | About the Author: Janel Briggs is a certified NLP and Timeline Therapy® Practitioner dedicated to empowering women worldwide to become fearless and thrive through major life transitions. Janel’s confidence and mindset coaching supports women in overcoming imposter syndrome, releasing professional fears and insecurities, and in building unshakable self-belief. Her coaching approach empowers women to rise above self-doubt, embrace their potential, and become aspiring leaders in the pursuit of life and career success. Connect with Janel: Linkedin or Instagram. |
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