Most of us are creatures of habit.
We do the same things day in and day out.

We think the same thoughts, go through the same motions, and follow the same routines.
And sometimes, this might not be a good thing.

Every once in a while, we might notice that we’ve slipped into some not-so-good habits that we want to eliminate or change. We want to get into some good habits instead.

Once identified, we look around and have a think about the new habits we want to form instead.
We do the research and find the program.
We invest the time, money, effort, and resources into creating, getting into, and keeping these new habits.

We’re committed.
All in. And then…

BAM - Self-sabotage.
Enter resentment, fear, and guilt

We resent the changes and sacrifices and steps we need to take.
We fear messing it up, failing, and doing it all wrong.
We feel guilty for not doing it or trying hard enough. For quitting or not seeing it through (again).

We literally, whether actively or passively, take steps to prevent ourselves from reaching our goal. Of incorporating the new habit we know we want.

Is any of this helpful?
No.

Are any of these conscious actions and decisions?
Are we actively preventing ourselves from making these changes?
Probably not.

Instead it’s more likely that they’re passive and unconscious.
And the unconscious mind can be a tricky and powerful thing.

Often running on autopilot, our unconscious mind wants to keep us safe, comfortable, and familiar.

Changing habits is a shakeup of all three of these which is why we end up (un)consciously sabotaging ourselves and the very habit we’re trying to change.

So how do we stop this?

How do we stop self-sabotaging the good habits we want to adopt?
Well here are 5 ways to get you going.
1.      Identify
Identify the habit you want to drop, alter, change, or incorporate. Is it getting up earlier? Setting clearer boundaries? Decreasing screen time? Whatever it is, be really clear on identifying the good habit and changes you want to make.
2.      Resonate
In order to prevent self-sabotage from even creeping in, you need to really resonate with the habit itself, and most importantly, the why. Why are you making these changes? Why is this new habit important to you? If you’re doing it from a place of comparing or wanting to look, feel, or be like someone else, then it’s not going to work. Your new habits need to resonate and sit so deeply within. It needs to come from a place of love and acceptance of yourself and your reasons for change.
 3.      Be Patient
Shifting habits takes time. The habits you’re wanting to change have probably taken you months and even years to develop, and then months and years of practice. So let’s be realistic, shifting them asap is just not going to happen. You’re going to have to do the work. You’re going to have to feel uncomfortable. And no matter what anyone says, there is no magic pill, program, course, or hack. You simply need to be patient and…
 4.      Have Compassion
Let’s be honest. You’re probably going to mess up. You’re probably going to skip a day, fall off the wagon, want to give it all up. But don’t! Instead, show yourself compassion. When you were little, you didn’t go from laying on the floor to walking in one minute. You learned to crawl, stand, balance, fall, and get back up again. Are you upset or hard on yourself because you didn’t get it straight away? Of course not. Remember little you and show yourself compassion.
5.      Ignore
Ignore the marketers, the doubters, and the haters. Marketers are trained and paid to know our pain points, the things we want to achieve, and the ways to sell us (and profit from) fixing it. People will doubt your abilities and perhaps even hate when you “win” or “succeed”. What they think doesn’t matter though. Why? Because you’ve identified, resonated, been patient, and showed yourself compassion all the way, and know why you’re doing it.
Change isn’t easy.
And creating good habits without self-sabotage can be even harder.
So whether you’re at the beginning, middle, or end of developing your new habits, be sure to use your conscious mind. Be active and aware of what you’re feeling and doing. Write it out. Think it through. Talk to a supportive friend or coach. 
Realise that change is uncomfortable.
Accept not everyday is going to be perfect.
Say no to the negative mental chatter. Silence your inner critic. And remember your why.
Everything I do is to help women like you thrive, so if you need support or guidance, I’ve got a few ways to help with this.
My Learn to Thrive my morning journal gets you setting your day up to succeed by helping you slowly and consistently incorporate good habits.
If you’re looking for awesome free value, download my 150 Positive Affirmations (the Affirmations are especially helpful in countering any self-sabotaging!).  

We all have limiting beliefs.

They’re those pesky, damaging, and deeply ingrained thoughts that’ve been there for years. So long in fact that we’ve become convinced that they must be true.

They’re not. Trust me.

I’ve been there and come out the other side and want you too as well.

So what are limiting beliefs?
Where did them come from?
And how can we get rid of them?

Limiting beliefs reach across all aspects of your life.
They’re thoughts or opinions that negatively impact your relationships, growth, and moving forward.


They’re the little (or loud) voice saying…

I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough.
I’m too loud, too much, too clumsy.
I don’t deserve this.
I could never do that.
I know I’m going to fail.

During my study of timeline therapy and Neuro Linguistics Programming (NLP) coaching certification, I came to understand, and now coach, that most of our core beliefs, or how we feel or what we think about ourselves, are language patterns and programming from childhood. They’re developed when we’re young from a particular moment (or moments) in time.

Influenced by family, friends, culture, school, or society in general, someone said something, or you overheard something and, for better or for worse, you decided (consciously or unconsciously) to take on their opinion or label and carry it as your own. As your truth.

You start believing what you heard.

And over the months, years, and decades, the words become ingrained “truths” and limiting beliefs that end up adversely effecting and impacting your confidence, self-esteem, and self-belief.
And as we humans tend to do, we remember these negatives much more than the positives, making so much easier to believe these un-truths.

So now that we’ve talked about what limiting beliefs are and where they come from, let’s talk about two ways STOP and reverse these thought and beliefs about yourself.

AFFIRM\NATIONS

Affirmation are essential in countering decades of negative programming, self-talk, and limiting beliefs.

The three steps to using affirmations are personalisation, repetition, and trust.
Personalisation

Make sure your affirmations are specific and personalised to you. Start each statement with “I am…” and make sure they are ALWAYS positive. No won’ts, don’ts, or I’ll try’s. Think “I am brave” or “I am courageous”, not “I wish I was brave” or “I want to be courageous”.

Repetition
Repeat, repeat, repeat. Write your affirmation in your journal (you can get mine here). Record and listen to them on your phone. Put sticky notes up around your home. Write, read, and hear them often. Use the same affirmations day in and day out until you truly feel and believe each statement.

Trust
As difficult (and strange) as it might seem, you really do need to trust the affirmation process. While it won’t happen overnight, repeating your statements focuses the forces of energy to bring light to your desired result. Trust and believe good is coming your way and see the magic unfold.
To help you get started, or continue on your affirmation journey, visit my website to download my  free 150 Positive Affirmations list.
 
DEEP (GUIDED) WORK
While affirmations help you move forward, actually getting rid of limiting beliefs often takes deeper work.

The key to this deep work however is doing it with guidance.
Trying to “do the work” without guidance can be difficult, frustrating, and potentially upsetting.

By having a safe space to discover your underlying limiting beliefs and be guided through a process to transform these into empowering new beliefs you become your own “inner mentor”, confident and able to go forward.

So you’re not alone in the deeper work, I run a small and intimate “Silencing Your Inner Critic” group workshop every month. Together over zoom we work together for 2 hours from the comfort of your own home on:

• Understanding the power of language and reframing your negative self-talk

• Discovering where your inner critic comes from and the limiting beliefs fuelling your inner critic
• Rebuilding your confidence and reprogramming your self-doubt
• Releasing your limiting beliefs and calling in the guidance of your inner mentor

Limiting beliefs are just that, limiting.

While they’re familiar and known, they also tend to keep us surviving and not thriving.

They keep us stuck in the past unable to make real progress forwards.
Instead let’s get you thriving. Let’s get you working on reprograming your beliefs. Let me help you build unwavering self-belief and get rid of your limiting beliefs.

If you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe to my blog and YouTube channel. Download your free 150 Positive Affirmation List or get on the wait list for my next Silencing Your Inner Critic online workshop so we can do the deep work together.

With December here, work, family and friend get togethers are back on.

We’re eating out again, attending parties, and even going shopping in real stores.

December is always a busy time of year, and 2021 perhaps more so given that many of us spent weeks in lockdowns and can’t wait to see people in real life (not that we didn’t love those zoom meetings…).

But between year-end festivities and summer holidays, we’re also finalising presents, tying up loose ends, finishing projects, and probably planning for 2022 as well.

And the worst part? All this busyness and hustle and go-go-go is (dare I say it), “normal” and often even glorified.

So, if you’re like most women I know and coach, the busyness and hustle you normally feel is likely really, really ramping up this year.

Now to be honest, “hustle” is not one of my favourite words, but (unfortunately) it describes what most women can relate to.

One definition of hustle is to “proceed or work rapidly or energetically”. This almost sounds like a good thing doesn’t it? And perhaps that’s why many have come to see it that way, but is it?
Never before has any other generation lived as fast a paced lifestyle where being “busy” and “hustling” are actually promoted, accepted, and rewarded.

I see part of the issue is that we can get almost anything we want on demand through our phones, tablets, and laptops.

Whatever we want to know, learn, plan, or look up is at our fingertips 24/7. Podcasts, YouTube, social media, news outlets, magazines, and almost every book ever written is all there with us. And let’s not forget the text messages, phone calls, voice messages, and emails.

When does it stop?

When do we turn off, unplug, or tap out from the noise and give ourselves a break?

In fact, you’ve probably been going so hard that you hardly take the time to move, nourish, enjoy, and rest the entire day.

Why? Because there’s SO MUCH TO DO!

And we’re being validated for this by society, our colleagues, our bosses, and even sometimes our friends and family.

This busyness and hustle have almost become badges of honour.

Where productivity, busyness, and hustle equal feeling and being valued.

There’s a quote I love by author Michael Gunger that says, “Burnout is literally what happens when you avoid being human for too long.”, and if we’re busy, hustling, pushing, striving, and going ALL THE TIME, then it’s almost inevitable that burnout will come.

Now don’t get me wrong, part of this drive is because we want to be the BEST version of ourselves.

We want to improve, challenge ourselves, and keep learning and growing.

And I love that and get it. I’m a personal development junkie!

We want to achieve success and have an incredible career where we feel fulfilled, create impact, are valued, and feel motivated to reach our goals and dreams. 
 
We want to have an abundance of time for ourselves and our families.
For the projects, sports and hobbies we enjoy.

We also want loving relationships and deep soulful friendships, which is amazing. 
 
And while I’m a firm believer that you can do absolutely ANYTHING, and that you CAN achieve it ALL, the reality is that you just can’t do EVERYTHING all at once. The more you hustle for these things the further away they’re likely to get.
 
So this year, let’s stop.
Stop being so “busy”.
Stop the relentless “hustle”.
 
Let’s take the time to stop, pause, and say no, or maybe, or not now, or some other time.
Prioritise your time, energy, health and wellbeing.
Slow down and take stock.
Fill your own cup first.
 
Plan for breaks, holidays, good times, and summer vibes.
Stop carrying your phone everywhere, and most importantly, stop constantly checking it.
Put auto-respond on your emails.
Set you calendar, availability, and voicemail to away.
Shut down the tabs, the browsers, the documents, and the spreadsheets.
 
And if you do have to do work, slow it down.

Take advantage of most people being on holidays.
Cancel your regularly scheduled meetings and avoid making new ones.
Keep your calendar clear so you can focus on “big picture” work of reflecting on the year and planning for the next.
 
While hustle might be the “norm” for most, it doesn’t have to be.
We can change it.

I want you to thrive, not merely survive.
I want you to feel confident and comfortable, stress and anxiety free (or at least reduced!).
I want you to feel in control of your mindset, goals, and what’s coming up next.
 
To help you with this, be sure to subscribe to my blog above, and check out my 1:1 coaching programs, 2022 intake begins in early January.
 
I’m here to help and here to remind you that perhaps the holidays are the perfect time to stop the hustle and truly enjoy the season.
 
Wishing you a happy and hustle-free holidays!
~ JB

At any given day, I bet you’re juggling 10 or more things at once. You’re thinking about work, home life, pets, children, friendships, family, and more.

Then December comes along and BANG, now you’re juggling all of the above PLUS present buying, holiday planning, catch ups, work celebrations, year end reflections, new year planning, etc…

With all of this added pressure (from ourselves and society), we may feel like multi-tasking is not just the best way to handle things, it’s also the only way.

Well, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but it’s not.

While a small percentage of the population (2% according to Forbes magazine in 2017) are good at multi-tasking, for the rest of us, constantly switching between tasks and attempting to multi-task actually decreases our productivity by up to 40%.

See when we’re multi-tasking, while it may feel like we’re working faster and efficiently, we’re actually more likely just spinning our wheels, never really moving forward. We’re producing less than stellar decisions, outputs, and work. We forget what we were doing, where we’re at, and sometimes if we’ve even finished the tasks we’re trying to work through!

We’ve got tabs open on our laptops.
Links saved in our browsers.
Lists all over the place.
Scraps of paper with random notes on them.

We’re also less able to filter out irrelevant information and decrease distractions, meaning we often make mistakes which means going back and redoing the work we thought we’d completed.
In addition to this, multi-tasking also leads to:

• Mental exhaustion
• Physical exhaustion
• Brian fog
• Memory issues
• Frustration
• Outbursts
• Decision paralyses
• Increased caffeine reliance
• Mindless eating and snacking

Are you getting a clearer picture of why multi-tasking really isn’t ideal?

Yes? Good.

Now I know it might sound like the complete opposite of what you want to do, but introducing even a few of the suggestions below will go a long way in decreasing your multi-tasking habits and increase your productivity and the quality of everything you do.
​
1. Focus on one thing at a time.
If you’re finishing up a report, focus on the report. Don’t click on browsers to figure out what time the shopping centres close so you can stop in after work.
 
2. Be present with whatever task you’re doing…
How can you possibly write a heartfelt Christmas card when your mind is thinking about the email you need to send to your supervisor? Write the card.
 
3. …. and THEN move on to the next one
With the card written and tucked in its envelope, now you can write up that email and give it your full attention.
 
4. Commit to “Do Not Disturb” time
It’s hard to ignore all the notifications popping up all day, so let your device do it for you. Either pause, turn off, or set your “Do Not Disturb” so you can really concentrate.
 
5. Create time blocks
Whether these are in 20minute windows or more or less, set your alarm or timer so you can stick to the task at hand (rather than bouncing from task to task) knowing that your next time block will be focussed on that task.
 
6. Shift your “big projects” to earlier in the day.
Most people work best in the mornings before decision fatigue and interruptions have kicked in, so carve out this time (by using Do Not Disturb and time blocks) to work on those bigger projects.

Here are three more important ways to reduce multi-tasking are to simplify our decision making so we don’t end up with decision fatigue.

1. Especially this month, really try and stick to a regular daily routine. This constant will help ground you when life seems all to hectic and ensure nothing gets forgotten.
2. Meal plan for the day, week, and especially any socialising where you need to bring food. Having this sorted ahead of time will free you up to focus on what’s in front of you.
3. Simplify your wardrobe by wearing a similar outfit each day or planning your outfit the day before. By doing this ahead (especially around special occasions), you’re not rushing around prepping, wrapping, and trying to get yourself ready and out the door while encouraging the kids to do the same!

For myself and my clients, I find the tips and tricks above go a long way in decreasing our multi-tasking and decision fatigue.

I want to enjoy this time of year, and want you to do the same, so let’s choose even one of the suggestions above and really commit to it.

Let’s stop multi-tasking and focus on the task at hand.

As always, I’m here to help with these and other ways to get you thriving, so be sure to subscribe to my blog above, and if you’re really keen, book in a here so we can see which of my coaching for programs might be best serve you.

Take care
JB

​Even though most of the country has opened up, many of us are still working from home.
Some by choice, some because we always have, some because you’re not allowed back into the office.

Before the pandemic I reached out to over 2,000 women on LinkedIn and asked if they’d be open to sharing their personal experiences on key triggers for stress and anxiety.

Almost half of the women (46.8%) said their career and job were the number one major source of stress in their life, followed by relationships and money. “Volume of work being overwhelming” was cited as the number one reason for work-related stress.

Considering this was before the pandemic, these results tell us that, as a collective, we were already at capacity before 2020 and 2021 hit us.

We were already at capacity before the definition of work norms and “office hours” became almost completely distorted. Before the lines between “work” and “home” became even more blurred. 

​Give these a go

Like any work situation, working from home has its pros and cons. One of the differences with working from home is that you can have (or take back) some control of the home/work life juggle.
As someone working from home and working with women who work from home for the past 5 years, I thought I’d share some practices I’ve incorporated (with trial, error, and practice) into my and my clients’ “work day” from home.

• Don’t look at anything work-related before 8am.
  Focus on your wellbeing and filling your own cup before starting your workday. Rolling over and scanning your screen before you’re even out of bed won’t do you or anyone else any favour. (You might want to try setting this expectation with the people you work with as well.)

 

• Have a consistent morning routine.
  Spend 30 minutes each morning with a routine that consist of meditating, journaling, moving your body, listening to music, eating a healthy breakfast, reading, etc… I use my Learn to Thrive Journal every morning to set me up for a stress-free start to my day.

 

• Set clear start and finish times.
  Your start and finish times don’t have to be the same each day, but scheduling times ahead will give you clear on and off times, and help structure your day.

 

• Take breaks and refuel. Give yourself time to have healthy snacks, drinks, and meals. Make time to rest your eyes, mind, and shoulders. If you need to, prepare your food before and actually schedule in rests like you would a meeting.

 

• Set an alarm 30 minutes before the end of your workday.
  Use this reminder to wrap up what you’re doing, wind down from the work, prep for tomorrow, mark off what you’ve completed, or what still needs to be done.

 

• Shut down.
  At the end of you 30 minutes, close all open files, programs, and browsers. Do this both to your laptop and your mind. This small step helps signal our bodies that it’s time to rest and transition out from work.

 

• Do something you enjoy.
  Once you’ve shut everything down, go for a walk, get some fresh air, do a mini full body stretch, play with the kids or pets, call a friend, listen to a podcast. Whatever you choose, make it something you look forward to. The more you enjoy it the more likely you are to stop working.

 

• Don’t log back on.
  Once you’ve closed everything and shut down, don’t go back. Even though your phone or laptop is right there, resist the temptation to have a “quick check” or “shoot off a quick response”.  Not only does this do you no favours, you’re likely not giving your best to your clients, colleagues, or boss.

 
Build it in

After looking over this list you might be thinking, “Great ideas Janel. I’m going to do them all!”.

Stop. Pick ONE change and do that first.

• Maybe it’s keeping your screens away from your bed.
• Maybe it’s not “checking in” before 8am or after 5pm.
• Maybe it’s having an actual break for lunch.
• Whatever you decide, start with one, and build over time.

I want you to succeed with these changes so they become regular habits and routines so they help signal your mind and body that the workday is over. That “home time” is here (even if you’ve never left it).

If you’d like help introducing and incorporating these changes into your workday (with accountability!), be sure to check out my new program Burnout Recovery, a 4 week coaching program to help you reset your daily habits and look at what is potentially continueing to fuel this exhaustion.

Working from home might be your reality in the short or long term.

Let’s get you in the best work-from-home flow so you can thrive in work, home, and life!

Almost half of those said they worked nearly TWICE as many late hours than the previous year.

And the number of hours spent working overtime? For many it went from 236 hours to a staggering 436 hours in one year. No wonder we’re all so burnt out!

In my own work, many women and clients I’ve spoken to said this year has felt like one big emotional hangover, which often leads to… burnout.

And the similarities I’ve been noticing? Emotional exhaustion + mental load = burnout

Emotional Exhaustion

Emotional exhaustion is the most common experience of burnout women feel and that I’ve seen with my clients during the last year and half.
 
Whether it’s total exhaustion from the weight of conflicting, overwhelming, and repetitive emotions or the prolonged feelings of exhaustion, frustration, fear, worry, loss, sadness, anger, resentment, and even guilt, we’ve all been feeling it.
 
The constant changes and adaptations.
The cycles of change with feelings of little control over our lives.
They all take an emotional toll.

They all lead to emotional exhaustion often followed by burnout.
 
Carrying the Mental Load
The mental load we carry is not often as obvious as emotional exhaustion.
 
But you know all those thoughts constantly swirling in our minds? The processing, analysing, overthinking? The monkey chatter and second-guessing? The doubts and fears?
 
Well, this is carrying (and often being consumed by) the mental load.
 
The mental load of our thoughts, worries, fears, and the stress that come from these patterns of repetitive (and often negative) thoughts. Of future pacing and staying five steps ahead.
 
And then there’s the over-analysing…
Have I done enough? Is there more I should be doing? Something I should’ve done? Something I shouldn’t?
The reality of carrying these constant thoughts and beliefs is that is becomes overbearing, overwhelming, and exhausting. The mental load wears us down and leads us to burn out. How could it not?
 
Making Changes
Even after we’ve recognised our emotional exhaustion and mental load and made some changes, we often still FEEL burnt out.
Confusing right?
See when we experience chronic stress these feelings can trigger negative thought, emotions, beliefs, and patterns which often triggers our bodies’ stress response.
So even if you’ve eliminated or eased the stresses and know things have changed your body never actually got the memo that everything’s ok.
It doesn’t know you’re in a good place.
You’re out of lockdown. You’ve changed jobs.
It doesn’t know you’re ok. It doesn’t know you’re safe.
Essentially what this means is that removing the stress doesn’t fully move you through burnout.
Instead it’s your behaviours.
Your behaviours tell your body things have changed and it’s ok to relax. 
This is why when you think, “I’m over that now.”, and can’t work out why you still feel so exhausted it’s because you’ve made changes to your external environment but not your internal habits and behaviours.

You need to signal your body that you ARE safe. The danger IS over.
You need to allow your body to process through the emotions, because if you don’t, you’ll likely stay in an emotionally burnout state being triggered time and time again.
 
But, nothing changes if nothing changes right?

Here are three steps you can start today to release the emotional exhaustion and lighten the mental load that can lead to burnout.

1. Be mindful and aware of repetitive thoughts or stuck emotions. Recognise and notice the thought. Acknowledge and feel the feelings, then keep moving through.
2. Journal your thoughts, worries, and possible changes. Make a list of behaviours you can do to change the signals your body gets so it knows it can feel safe and calm.
3. If you need help making these changes really stick, check out my 7 Day Stress Mindset Detox program, which provides fast relief from stress and anxiety and teaches you how to gain control over your emotions.

Or for more specialised support and accountability, I can support you with my 1-1 Coaching to help get you off the slippery slope of burnout and regain a mindset that allows you to thrive.With so much of the last year and a half filled with uncertainty and turmoil, know that what you’re feeling is being felt by millions of women around Australia.

Emotional exhaustion and carrying the mental load are real.

And remember, there are strategies and practices to assist, and I’m always here to help whether through my YouTube channel, blogs, or programs.

Unable to be five steps ahead of everything and everyone. No longer having that focus and motivation for exercise and eating to take care of their body.

You are learning more about yourself and the people in your immediate world, than you probably ever have before. The intricate details of …

• What is most important to you and what you really want
• How to live and work under the same roof
• What decision fatigue looks like after 8 hours on zoom and how best you recharge your batteries
• What snack and bartering tools work best with the demanding little people if your life
• If you live alone… who means the most to you, and who you are ok with letting go
• How to manage emotions when you are triggered by anxiety, frustration, sadness, loss, disappointment
• How bloody resilient you really are!!

And, if you have the pleasure of home schooling like me add re-learning Grade 2 to that list (argh!).

​The body you are unhappy with right now, can absolutely make a comeback. The job that you cannot stand, might feel different when your office returns or after a holiday (or maybe it’s the push for you to make a change). The relationship that is causing you frustration, will hopefully look different when we can have more room to breathe and external outlets.
 
And that goal or achievement that you set a date for and missed, doesn’t mean the goal isn’t worthwhile! Zoom out and see the bigger picture, perhaps there has been more to learn on the way to that goal you want to so much?
 
In my map of the world, there is NO failure. There is ONLY feedback.
 
Notching your failures is what keeps you feeling stuck, literally reliving the past with your mindset fixed on “I failed - it will never happen”. 

Where as a growth mindset says “What I can learn from, I can change” which keeps you moving forward (and feels so much lighter doesn't it?!)

Answer that first, and then shift your goal posts. 

So, how do you get unstuck?

1. There is no failure only FEEDBACK
2. WIPE THE SLATE CLEAN of the past and start fresh
3. Set REALISTIC goals for your energy and productivity capacity right now knowing that things will change in the future
4. BE KIND to yourself
5. Do what you can when you can and that is GOOD ENOUGH!

Side note: I really hope that if you are reading this and still in lock down that the only goal you are setting for yourself right now is focused on your health and happiness! I know your world being on pause is frustrating, I feel it too.

Let's be honest - NO ONE is really achieving right now!

​I don’t care what you are seeing on social media. Everyone is hurting from this pandemic. Everyone is just doing the best they can to survive and make it through. And if they are achieving then I have no doubt that something else has had to give.
 
I am a firm believer that you can do anything, you just cannot do everything to 110% all at once without a ball dropping somewhere!
 
Take care
​JB

Paying Yourself First.

I was working with a client this past week, helping her comeback from burnout. An amazing Mum of 2 who works in a big corporate role - exhausted from years of juggling it all (who can relate?!!).

In a couple short weeks of 1:1 coaching together she started to see and feel shifts happening in her life.
 
Like each of my private clients we began with a 7-Day Mindset Detox.
 
A method I use to pattern interrupt and break old habits no long working, to bring in new fresh ideas that recharge your energy. Packaged in an easy-to-follow step by step morning and evening routine.
 
We chatted about what the real turning point was for her, and she realised that…

I loved this analogy so much because I know that how you begin your day actually has a flow on effect to the rest of your day!
 
Q: Are you paying yourself FIRST?
 
Or are you waking up reacting and responding to everyone and everything around you? WORK, emails and notifications, the KIDS, the DOG – do all of their needs come first?
 
What about your needs? Are you giving all day, and not replenishing?
 
You see, when you pay yourself FIRST you create a magical buffer of time in the morning just for YOU (and only YOU!).
 
And a few amazing things happen:

• You immediately shift to the top of your priority list
• You are less likely to walk around feeling irritated, frustrated, and resentful
• You stop feeling like you are paying out your ENERGY TAX all day long! (insert GIF of Kanye palming $ bills… lol)

 
Committing to pay yourself first is about filling your energy tank BEFORE anything else.
 
It is one of the key ways of preventing burnout in lock down. Here are the rest of my golden rules, learnt the hard way, through 6 lock downs )and 2 border lock outs)!

1. Pay yourself first

• Set your alarm (no hitting snooze)
• Get up out of bed before the rest of the house wakes
• Grab a cuppa and do something just for you 10-30mins
• I recommend a short guided meditation, morning journal, yoga flow, listening to a podcast that makes you smile, or reading/listening to a good book

 
2. Nourish your body

• Coffee is NOT a food group!
• You will be less likely to keep your cool during home school, or 8 hours of zoom meetings if you have not eaten something with protein, nutrients, and some carbs (true story!)
• Stop feeding yourself last – YOU MATTER.

 
3. Stop overworking

1. Rest is 100% essential for productivity
2. Read that again!

 
4. Get outside  
I did a poll last week on my Instagram checking in with my beautiful community in lock down. A staggering 72% of women who replied said they were NOT getting outside EVER DAY!

• Fresh air, looking up at the sky, seeing other people, or buildings or trees outside your 4 walls is ESSENTIAL
• It is the only way to zoom out and get perspective…

 
Take care out there, be kind to yourself (and others!).
​We are all just doing the best we can.
​~ JB

​

If you would like to know more about my morning and evening routines...

Watch me talk about my morning routine here. 
Or, read more on this topic here!

For many of us, (especially those of us in Victoria and New South Whales) we’re working our way through a really intense period where life and everything around us is pretty out of balance. 
​
We’re home more and unable to get out and socialise. We’ve probably been eating more, drinking more, and exercising less. Our usual Monday through Friday routines were jumbled since many of us aren’t actually going anywhere. And if you love and are inspired by your work like I am, you are probably working more too… and therefore way out of balance. 

Finding balance, for me, is really looking at ways I can ensure I’m making time for self-care, exercise, and connection, all three of which the topics I want to share and help you with today. 

SELF-CARE

While self-care might look like expensive day spas or trips away, it can also be as simple as thinking about one thing you haven't done in a really long time that gives you joy… and then doing it. 

It could be going for a walk, swim or bike ride alone. Reading a book. Writing out positive affirmations or colouring a mandala (both of which can be found in my Journal). Catching up with a girlfriend (on Zoom!). Savouring a takeaway cup of coffee at your favourite café (and walking the long way home). 

Self-care will look different from one person to the next, so don’t judge yourself for what self-care looks like for you. 

And remember: Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. It’s a necessity. You cannot grow, give, or show up as the best version of you if you're doing it from an empty cup.

Want a trick to help set you for successful self-care?

Communication.

Sometimes it takes communication with the other people we live with, to let them know about our intentions so that they can

a) help us keep committed and encouraged and

b) so they know our plans and can adjust theirs accordingly. Once everyone is on board and they know how important it is, your family will adjust and make it work, especially when they see how good it is for you (and for them as well)!

EXERCISE

Our bodies were born to move. Exercising and movement not only help our physical health, but they help our overall wellbeing as well.

Book a timeslot in your diary, tell your family of your plan, and then get out there and do it. Walk, jog, run, ride, swim, stretch, lift weights (at home for now). Head to the gym (when they reopen), the ocean or park. Roll out your mat, get your yoga blocks, pillows and straps ready.

Or maybe now is the time to try something new. A new activity (stand up paddle boarding anyone?), a class or online exercise program. What can you do that you may have never tried before?

I signed up for online hip-hop classes to bring back some fun on there dreary Melbourne winter days... I'll let you know how I go! (lol).

And perhaps most importantly ask yourself - what do you WANT to do?

​Because if you don’t want to do it or it doesn’t really light you up, the chances of sticking with it are pretty slim. So schedule in the exercise that will light you up and get you going. 

CONNECTION

We’re all humans here, and as humans we need (and crave) connection in some way. It’s also easy to let friendships and other relationships slip when we’re busy, feeling out of balance, or simply have kids and partners in our space 24/7. 

So here’s a reminder: you know those people who make you laugh, smile, feel understood, heard, loved and fill your cup?

• Call them.
• Send them an email.
• Organise a Zoom chat.
• Schedule a coffee catch up. 

Connection can also mean (re)connecting with your significant other. Yes, you’ve probably spent every single day in iso together and think, “Well, we've had all this together time, I don't really think we need anymore." But yes, yes you do. You just need to change the environment. 

Go for a walk. Have a picnic. Book in at your favourite restaurant for take away and have a picnic on the floor! Head out to the beach, park, or local trails when allowed. Try something new. Do the same old same old, just do something together. Not in the house!

And remember, it doesn’t have to be expensive or massively romantic. It’s the time and connection together that’s important, not the actual activity or place. 

I challenge you to implement these three ways of bringing balance into your life by making plans to implement self-care, exercise, and connection into your day, week, of month. Schedule it in. Today. And tell your loved ones about your plans and priorities. Let them support you. 

And remember, I’m here to shift your mindset to THRIVE, so if you need additional help getting started or staying motivated, please comment below, check out my free value or subscribe to my blog to get tips like these direct to your mailbox.

You can do this. Just pick one and get started!

Take care
~ JB