Category: Identity Crisis

ChatGPT Is Not Your Best Life Coach

28/8/2026

I have a confession to make... I use ChatGPT ALL the time.

As a one-woman business, it has honestly been a game changer. I’ve used it to troubleshoot tech problems, help me to do my own bookkeeping, make SEO updates to my website, proof read my content, work through systems issues and even audit my annual business expenses.

It has saved me TIME, MONEY and more than a few hours of wanting to throw my laptop out the window when something 'techy' stops working!

So please know - this isn’t an anti-AI post. Far from it.

There’s one thing I don’t believe ChatGPT can EVER replace:
A GREAT COACH

click to watch the IG video version of this blog

Are more answers, more options and more data going to give you clarity or...?

In coaching this year, I’m increasingly seeing women come to me after using AI to try to answer some pretty enormous life questions.

The usual 'I'm having a lifequake' kind of questions:

Should I leave my job or should I change careers? (is the grass greener)
Should I stay or eave my relationship?
Should I move to another city - or another country?
Should I have a baby or will I be happy without a family?

By the time they get to me, they’ve often asked ChatGPT every possible version of the question and been given every million possible scenario.

They've researched and created the pros and cons lists.
They've analysed the different options and scenarios.
They've considered what MIGHT happen if they choose plan A, B or C.

And you’d think having all that information at their fingertips would actually make them feel clearer about the decision.

BUT IT DOESN'T - sometimes it does the exact opposite!

WHEN AI GIVES YOU =
OVERWHELM x 1000

Women are coming to me even MORE overwhelmed about their big life decisions than when they started!

The first thing we do in coaching, is work on 'calming the overwhelm' and quieting all that noise.

Because for an overthinker, perfectionist or someone already TERRIFIED of making the wrong decision, more information doesn't necessarily create a clear path forward.

Sometimes more information simply becomes MORE material to overthink. And I can tell you "a confused mind will always say NO and procrastinate the decision".

And eventually, you can find yourself in analysis paralysis searching for the one final piece of information that will make the decision feel completely safe.

Except it rarely exists.

The issue with using AI as your coach:
ChatGPT only knows what you tell it

This is one of the biggest limitations I see when we use AI as a substitute for coaching.
ChatGPT can respond incredibly well to the information you give it.

But it can't always notice what you're not telling it.

A coach is trained to hear the hesitation or enthusiasm in the inflection of your voice when you talk about one particular option.

We can notice that your energy completely shifts when you talk about something you supposedly do or don't want.

We might stop you and say: “Hang on. That's the third time you've said that. What's underneath it? What do you mean by that”

We can notice contradictions. Patterns. Avoidance. The story you've been repeating for years without even realising it's a story.

And sometimes, the throwaway comment you make halfway through a conversation turns out to be the thing we actually need to talk about.

That's difficult to put into an AI prompt.

As a coach, my job is to help you get fully aligned with the goals and decisions that best serve you and the life you want to create. Not to tell you what those goals or decisions should be.

Are you looking for Clarity?
Or REASSURANCE?

There's another problem with asking AI to make our biggest decisions.

If ChatGPT gives you an answer you don't particularly like… you can literally close the chat and ask again(!).

You can change the wording.
Add another piece of information.
Present the situation slightly differently.
Ask it to reconsider.

And eventually... there's a danger that we're no longer using AI to help us think.
We're using it to find reassurance for the answer we already want.

This isn't particularly new human behaviour, by the way.

We've already been asking five friends the same question until someone finally gives us the answer we wanted for years!

AI just gives us a considerably more efficient way of doing it now.

The real question often isn't:
“What should I do?"

When I'm coaching someone through a big life decision, my job isn't to be the expert with all the answers OR to tell her which option to choose.

In fact, often the decision itself isn't where we need to start.

We need to understand WHY making it feels so difficult?

What's underneath the indecision?
Fear of getting it wrong?
Fear of disappointing someone?
Perfectionism?
Guilt?
Expectations? Or a belief about who you're supposed to be doing?
Resentment?

Or perhaps you've spent so long doing what everyone else needs and expects that you've genuinely lost touch with what you want.

That's very different from another pros and cons list!

And it's why some of the most valuable work you can do when you're facing a major decision is to stop searching for another external answer and start rebuilding your ability to TRUST your own intuition.

Three things to do before asking ChatGPT another question:

If you're stuck in a loop of analysing a big decision, try this instead.

1. Quiet the external noise.

Step away from ChatGPT, Google, podcasts, friends, family and everyone else's opinion for a moment. Ask yourself:

If nobody else had an opinion about this... what would I want?

You don't have to act on the answer. Just notice what comes up.

2. Get honest about the trade offs.

Instead of asking which option is “right” ask:

What will I gain from each choice AND what will I have to give up?

Every meaningful decision involves a trade off. Clarity often comes when we stop looking for the option with no downside.

3. Come back to your values.

Which option is most aligned with what matters to you now?

Not what mattered ten years ago. Not what your parents value. Not what looks impressive on paper. You. Now.

Your values become particularly important during periods of major change because circumstances can shift dramatically while the things that matter most to us often remain remarkably consistent.

And if you're currently in that strange place where you're no longer entirely sure who you are after everything has changed, I wrote more about that in How to Find Yourself
Again After a Major Life Change.

AI can offer insight. But it won't be able to give you the ACCOUNTABILITY for lasting change

I think AI is extraordinary, what an interesting era we're living in! I'll continue using it in my business.

And I absolutely think it can be useful for research and exploring a decision, generating questions you hadn't considered or helping you organize a brain full of competing thoughts.

But my main message today is this:

IF there's a point where more thinking and analyzing STOPS helping and feels really overwhelming, then the answer you're desperately searching for probably isn't sitting inside another prompt.

It's underneath the fear, perfectionism, guilt, anxiety or self-doubt that's making it so difficult to trust yourself in the first place.

And that is where the deeper work begins. Because AI can give you information.
It can give you questions. It can even give you insight.

But insight isn't the same thing as accountability for change.

And sometimes, you don't need another answer!

You just need the time and space to finally hear your own intuition.

-Janel Briggs

Ready to Rediscover Your Spark?

If you’re stuck overthinking a big life decision and feel like you’ve analysed every possible option but still can’t find clarity, Rediscover Your Spark is my 8-week identity and mindset coaching program designed to help you quiet the external noise, reconnect with what you truly want and rebuild the self-trust to confidently move forward!

Start Here

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How to Find Yourself Again After a Major Life Change

17/8/2026

There are moments in life when everything you thought you knew about yourself suddenly feels... uncertain.

Sometimes there’s an obvious catalyst:

You have to start over
Leave a career
End a relationship
Become a mother
Experience burnout
Your kids get older
You lose someone you love
Your health changes

Or the future you had carefully mapped out... suddenly doesn’t look anything like you expected.

And then sometimes, nothing dramatic happens at all. You simply wake up one day and think:

I don’t actually know who I am anymore

I know this feeling incredibly well. I’ve reinvented my life more times than I ever expected to!

I spent 15 years building a successful corporate career. I moved countries, became an expat, moved home again, became a mother, experienced burnout, left the career I'd built my identity around in my 30's, started a completely new venture into Coaching at 40, AND then moved countries again (twice!!).

There have been several points in my life where the version of me I knew simply didn't fit anymore.

What I've learned, both personally and professionally through coaching women navigating their own big transitions ove the last 8 years is that feeling lost after a major life change doesn't necessarily mean you've lost yourself.

Sometimes it means you're in that uncomfortable void between versions of yourself.

Why major life changes can shake your identity

We tend to think our 'identity' is simply who we are.

But so much of our identity becomes attached to our circumstances.

I'm a manager. I'm a wife. I'm a mother. I'm the eldest in my family. I'm the dependable one. I'm the problem solver person everyone comes to. I'm the high-achiver. This is what my life looks like.

Then life changes.

Suddenly some of those familiar reference points disappear... and without them, we can feel strangely untethered!

One of the biggest mistakes I see women make during this stage is desperately trying to get back to who they were before.

But is it really helping by looking at your life in the rearview mirror? What if you're not supposed to go backwards?

What if the question isn't “How do I get the old me back?” but “Who am I becoming now?”

That's a completely different conversation.

1. Separate who you ARE from the roles you play

Try finishing this sentence:

I am…

Notice what comes up. Do you immediately list your roles? Mother. Wife. Executive. Business owner. Daughter. Friend.

Those things are important, but they're not the entirety of you.

Ask yourself:

Who am I when I'm not being useful to somebody else?
What qualities in me have remained constant through every version of my life?
What makes me feel most like myself?

This is where you start finding the thread connecting the old you to the woman you're becoming.

2. Revisit your values

When my clients tell me they feel lost, one of the first places I look is their 'values'.

Your values are the deeper part of you that tends to remain relatively constant, even when your circumstances, roles and identity are shifting. They’re your internal compass - the things that fundamentally matter to you and help guide the way you want to live.

Because sometimes you've ticked all the boxes and built a perfectly good life BUT... it simply no longer fits what matters most to you.

Your values will evolve, that's what no one tells us.

The things you wanted at 25yo may not be what you want at 45yo! Success may once have meant the title, salary or next promotion. Now it might mean freedom, connection, adventure, creativity, peace, purpose.

Ask yourself:

What matters to me now? Not what should matter. Not what looks impressive. Not what everyone around you values.
What actually are the things that are MOST important to you?

3. Pay attention to what gives you your spark back

Notice what lights you up. What conversations could you have for hours? What do you look forward to? Where do you feel curious?

Who brings out a version of you that you like? What have you stopped doing because life became too busy, responsible or predictable?

Side note: You don't need to suddenly quit your job and move to Bali to find the solution.

Start smaller: Quiet the external noise. And if you cant do that, book a solo trip.

Try the class. Call the friend. Wear the thing. Apply for the opportunity. Go somewhere new. Do something purely because you want to!

Rediscovering yourself doesn't happen entirely through thinking. Sometimes you have to EXPERIENCE yourself again.

4. Stop waiting to feel 100% certain or for every question in your mind to have the perfect answer

When you've lost confidence in yourself, it's tempting to think: Once I know exactly what I want, I'll take action.

But confidence rarely works that way.

Action builds evidence. Evidence builds self-trust. Self-trust builds confidence.

You don't need a ten-year plan. You need the next small decision that feels aligned. Then another. Then another.

5. You aren't starting again from scratch

When one chapter ends, it can feel like you're starting all over again. But, you're not.

You're bringing everything with you.

Every career experience. Every relationship. Every mistake. Every city you've lived. Every hard season. Every person you've shared space with. Every boundary you learned to set. Every time life didn't work out the way you'd planned AND you figured it out anyway!

The goal isn't to erase the old version of yourself. It's to take everything she's learned and decide what comes with you into your next chapter.

And maybe that's what finding yourself again really is.

Not returning to who you were. But finally giving yourself permission to discover who you are now.

- Janel Briggs

Ready to Rediscover Your Spark?

If you're in that messy middle, where the old version of your life no longer fits but you're not quite sure what comes next Rediscover Your Spark is my 8-week identity and mindset coaching program designed to help you reconnect with yourself, rebuild self-trust and create clarity around your next chapter.

Learn More

I first wrote about this experience back in 2023, after moving to Singapore and seeing how many women were struggling with identity loss following a major life transition.

I shared some of those insights with ANZA Magazine in 'Feeling Lost in Life? in hope of helping other Expat's in similar situations.

Read the ANZA Article Here

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When Life Shifts Beneath Your Feet: What a “Life-Quake” Really Is & How to Know If You’re in an Identity Crisis

11/12/2025

Life has a way of changing in sudden, unexpected, or overwhelming waves.

Sometimes those changes feel exciting.
Other times… they shake the ground beneath your feet.

Sociologists call these moments “life-quakes”.

LIFEQUAKE: A moment where the life you knew gets disrupted - either by choice, by circumstance, or by a season you never saw coming.

Now, you may be thinking - these kinds of surprises happen all the time in modern life. We’re all dealing with busy schedules, constant change, and the unexpected all the time.

But a life-quake is different. It doesn’t just disrupt your day… it disrupts you.

It’s an emotional and identity-level disruption that leaves you questioning who you are, where you’re going, and what actually matters to you now.

And for women, especially women who are go-getters, multi-taskers, high level performers, perfectionists and those who have built their lives around supporting others - life-quakes are incredibly common.

But very few of us are taught how to navigate one.

In this article, we’ll explore:

What a life-quake actually is
The most common seasons women experience them
How to recognize the symptoms of an identity crisis
Why coaching is one of the most powerful tools for finding yourself again
How I help women rebuild confidence, clarity, and direction

And if you’re reading this thinking “This is me right now…” - stay to the end. There’s a resource that may help you start to reconnect with the spark you’ve lost.

What Is a Life-Quake?

A life-quake is a major period of disruption that shakes your sense of identity, purpose, direction, or stability.

Unlike a typical change you make that alters your life in some way, a life-quake is:

Emotionally intense
Unexpected, hard to prepare for or often unwanted
Identity-shifting and throws you off your normal course
Long-lasting and stress inducing
Often layered with multiple changes or challenges at once

Majority of the time it can be triggered by something that is deeply difficult to navigate.

But also note that it can be triggered by something positive, even something you've said yes or agreed to AND actually wanted.

What matters isn’t the event itself, it’s the internal impact that event has on you, your mindset and mental health.

Common examples of life-quakes:

A career pivot, job loss, burnout, or losing passion for your career
Moving countries or cities (leaving the stability of everything you know)
Becoming a mother / or becoming an empty nester
Relationship changes, separation, or divorce
Friendship breakdown or challenges
Losing a loved one
Health challenges (yours or someone you love)
A “success” that doesn’t feel like success at all
Turning an age milestone (30, 40 or 50) and suddenly questioning everything
Feeling stuck when life is “fine,” but not fulfilling

A life-quake essentially pulls the rug out from under your old identity and asks you to build a new one.

This is where many women unknowingly enter an identity crisis, and feel like they are losing their "sense of self".

How Do You Know You’re in an Identity Crisis?

Identity crises don’t usually arrive with flashing lights and big neon signs. Instead, they show up quietly, subtly, in your internal thoughts and feelings like:

1. “I don’t know who I am anymore.”
You’ve changed, but your life hasn’t caught up yet (or vice versa) and you stop recognizing the person you see in the mirror.

2. Losing motivation or spark "This no longer brings me joy"
Things that once lit you up and brought you joy, now feel boring, overwhelming or sometimes even heavy.

3. Feeling disconnected from yourself "What do I even want?"
You’re going through the motions doing all the things you normally do BUT nothing feels like "you" anymore.

4. Constant self-doubt and second-guessing "What should I do?"
Every decision feels hard, even smallest decisions. You feel unsure about everything and question yourself more than you back yourself

5. Feeling invisible or unheard "No one cares about me, what I want"
Your needs feel buried beneath responsibilities, expectations, or OTHER people’s priorities.

6. Grieving who you used to be "I used to be so fun and carefree"
Even if your life looks “good” on the outside you feel a sense of loss for an old version of yourself.

7. Overwhelm, anxiety, or emotional waves "I'm worried all the time"
Your mind is overstimulated, your energy is low, and your nervous system feels constantly “on”.

8. A deep desire for change - but no energy or clarity on what change you actually want
You want to hit a reset… but you just don’t know where to begin. Everything feels hard and confusing.

If you recognize yourself in any of these, please know you’re not “broken”, you’re simply in a chapter of what I like to call identity reinvention. Shedding the old to make way for a new version of you to emerge.

You v2.0 is envolving - and that’s where coaching can become life-changing.

Why Coaching Is So Powerful During a Life-Quake and Identity Crisis

Most women try to navigate life-quakes alone, we tell ourselves:

“I should be able to handle this”
“Other people have it worse”
“I just need to push through”

But this kind of identity shift (which often comes with a side of burnout!) doesn't respond to pushing!

They respond to pausing, listening, and rebuilding from within. Coaching offers exactly that.

Here’s why coaching works during identity disruption:

1. It gives you a grounded space to understand what’s actually happening
When your internal world feels chaotic, you need time and space for refleciton - not more pressure.

2. It helps you separate your true self from old patterns and expectations
Many identity crises stem from roles you’ve outgrown! The achiever, the fixer, the caregiver, the perfectionist, the “strong one”. This finally a time where you get to rewrite the rules.

3. It resets your nervous system so decision-making becomes easier
Burnout, overwhelm, and emotional fatigue cloud your thinking. A regulated nervous system gives you clarity and confidence again.

4. It helps you rebuild confidence & self-trust
So you can stop second-guessing and start leading your life with certainty.

5. It accelerates your transformation
What takes women years to figure out alone often becomes clear in weeks with structured guidance.

My Speciality: Identity Reset + Mindset Rebuilding for Women in Life-Quakes

For the past 8 years, I’ve coached 500+ women through the exact moment you might be in now.

My framework combines:

◻️ NLP Coaching
◻️ TimeLine Therapy®
◻️ Nervous System Reset (meditation, movement, calming body + mind)
◻️ Identity + Values Work
◻️ Confidence Rebuilding
◻️ Next Chapter Intention + Goal Setting

I specialize in guiding women who feel lost, disconnected, or overwhelmed to:

Reconnecting to who they are underneath the layers of stress life has thrown at them for months/years (sometimes decades)
Reset their mindset
Healing and inner work to help you move forward from past events - heartbreak, hurt, failure, guilt, resentment, unresolved anger
Rediscover their identity - discoverying who you are now in this new chapter?
Reignite their SPARK - passion, purpose, happiness, fulfillment
Step into their next chapter with alignment and self-trust

My coaching style is 100% aimed at guiding you on a path back to your most content and fulfilled self.

If You’re in a Life-Quake, Here’s Your Next Step:

If this article feels like it was written for you, it's because this is exactly the work I do every day.

You can take the first step toward clarity and reconnection here:

□ Rediscover Your Identity - Start Here

You don’t have to navigate this chapter alone.

Your next aligned, grounded, confident version of you already exists.

Let’s help you meet her.

JANEL BRIGGS

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Feeling Lost? 5 Steps to Help You Find Your Purpose and Rebuild Confidence

27/2/2025

Have you ever woken up and thought, is this it...?

You’ve checked all the boxes—career, relationships, responsibilities—but something still feels missing.

Many of the women I speak with in their late 30s and mid-40s are experiencing a moment (or season!) of feeling “lost”.

Questioning their purpose and struggling with confidence.

“I’ve got everything I thought I wanted—successful career, a family, our own home—so why do I still feel so empty and disconnected from myself?

Often, these feeling are triggered by major life transitions—kids growing older and becoming more independent, career stagnation, shifting relationships, or the realization that the goals they once chased no longer bring fulfilment.

Fortunately, there is a way to rediscover your purpose, and you can rebuild your confidence.

It starts with small, intentional steps. Here’s how:

Step 1: Reflect on What You Enjoy

When was the last time you felt truly alive? Not just content, but energized by something you were doing? We get so caught up in what we should be doing that we forget what actually lights us up!
Take a moment to reflect on:

Activities that bring you joy
Moments when you’ve felt most fulfilled
Times when you lost track of time because you were so engaged

Think back to your childhood—before responsibilities took over. Did you love writing, painting, organizing, or problem-solving? These little clues can guide you toward what’s missing in your life today.

Step 2: Identify Your Strengths and Values

Your natural strengths and core values are key to discovering your purpose.
Start by asking yourself:

What do people often come to me for advice on?
What tasks or skills feel effortless to me but challenging for others?
What principles or beliefs do I hold most dear?

For example, if you naturally lead and inspire others, perhaps mentorship or volunteering in a leadership capacity will fulfil you beyond your current role.
If creativity is your strength, you might thrive in roles that allow self-expression. Aligning your strengths with your values helps build a purpose-driven life and career.

Step 3: Try New Things

Fear of change can keep us stuck in a cycle of dissatisfaction. If you’re feeling lost, it might be time to shake things up! You don’t need to overhaul your entire life overnight, but trying something new—big or small—can open doors you never expected.
Consider:

Taking a class in a subject that intrigues you
Volunteering for a cause that aligns with your values
Exploring a different industry or side hustle
Traveling solo to gain fresh perspectives

Stepping outside of your comfort zone not only builds confidence but also gives you valuable insight on what excites and fulfils you.

Step 4: Seek Guidance from Mentors

You don’t have to figure this out alone. Seeking guidance from mentors, coaches, or role models can provide invaluable insights. Look for:

A mentor in your current industry who embodies the kind of success you desire
A coach or specialist who has expertise in career transitions or self-discovery
A networking group where you can connect with like-minded women

Sometimes, an outside perspective can help you see the bigger picture and inspire you to take the next step toward your purpose.

Step 5: Trust the Journey

Finding your purpose isn’t a one-time event; it’s an ongoing exploration. It requires patience, self-compassion, and trust in yourself. You might not have all the answers today, and that’s okay. Every experience, even the challenging ones, is guiding you toward clarity.
If you feel stuck, remind yourself:

Growth isn’t linear—setbacks are part of the process
Self-discovery takes time; give yourself grace
Confidence comes from action, not overthinking!

Instead of waiting for a “grand epiphany”, start taking small steps toward the things that bring you joy and fulfilment. The more you explore, the clearer your purpose will become.

Lastly, I want to remind you that feeling “lost” doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re evolving.

By reflecting on what you enjoy, identifying your strengths, stepping outside your comfort zone, seeking guidance, and trusting the journey, you’ll start to regain confidence and uncover your next direction and purpose.

If you're ready to dive deeper and need support along the way, let's connect—I would love to help you start this process!

Book a Call with Janel

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Are You Measuring Your "Value" by How Productive You Are?

25/11/2024

Answer this for me:

Do you feel valuable only when you're busy?
Pressure to always be productive
Constant guilt for resting
Fear of judgment when you think about taking time out?
Have difficulty enjoying downtime?

How does it feel when you don’t have a million things to juggle or there are zero projects on your plate?

When big life transitions happens and you are actually unable to work, or the kids don’t need as much of your time anymore - and you are perhaps stuck without anything to keep you “busy” so to speak.

If you're anything like me, it probably feels empty. With the mental chatter and a sense of worthlessness creeping in.

These are the same questions I had to ask myself many times when I moved from corporate career to becoming a business owner, and later while starting over as an expat in two countries when there is:

No one there to pat your head and give you a good review!
No one there to watch all that effort you’ve been putting in and celebrate you!

As women we are somehow wired to believe that “busy and being productive IS our value estimate”.

From a young age, people are taught to link their value to external accomplishments, like academic grades, career success, or financial gains.

Plus this "hustle culture" promotes the idea that the more you do and achieve, the more valuable and successful you are.

And don’t get me wrong, we want ambitious, strong high achieving women in this world!

But THIS can also foster the belief that worth is EARNED... rather than inherent.

Your Worth Isn’t in Your To-Do List—Here’s Why This Needs to Change.

In this short video coaching vlog, I'll unpack why this mindset can be so damaging, especially for high-achieving women! And I share practical ways you can to break free from the constant pressure to "do more".

I'll also touch on:

The harmful impact of Hustle Culture. Constantly striving to “do more” leads to burnout, stress, and even anxiety, creating an endless cycle that makes it hard to rest and recharge.
Ways you can start to break the cycle. Embracing rest and acknowledging it's key to finding balance and peace.

I think you'll love this coaching topic, if you've ever experienced:

Burnout: Exhaustion from always striving to do more, and the never ending to-do list!

Self-Doubt: Feeling inadequate or unworthy when not "busy" or "achieving".

Anxiety: Worry about not being good enough, without external validation.

You'll gain insight into you value beyond what you accomplish. My belief is that your worth isn't defined by what you do - it's who you!

Your self-worth isn’t a by-product of how much you do and achieve - it's in you showing up authentically YOU ~ JB

About the Author:
Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across the globe in overcoming their professional anxieties, imposter syndrome, fears and insecurities to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching is about empowering women to rise above self-doubt and become fearless leaders in the pursuit of life and career success! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

Becoming FEARLESS - Digital Resources!

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The Lifequake: Learning to Embrace The Unknown

11/11/2024

If you've ever been in a situation where you've had to stare into the abyss of “the unknown” (or face many unknowns!) you'll know this can be super disorientating and the anxiety is often debilitating.

Your mind circling around all the “what if’s” and “worry" about the future. Usually envisioning everything that could go wrong, which leads to believing it WILL go wrong, which makes it very hard to form important decisions about the future!

I've found that if you can begin to embrace the unknowns (rather than resist them!) you're more likely to build a resilience towards this kind of stress and anxiety.

Here are three mindset tools I use that will help you get started:

1. Acknowledge There Will Be Some Discomfort When Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

"I understand that with big life changes like this, it's going to feel uncomfortable for a little while - just until I get my new bearings."

Yes - you probably won't know how it will all play out, and you won't have control of every single outcome in this transition.

Transformation like this requires stepping WAY outside of our comfort zone, and initially that feeling absolutely sucks!

But please, don't be scared of that. The discomfort won't last FOREVER.

Your comfort zone will stretch with each unknown you boldly face.

Everything always works itself out, in one way or another.

And I think "the unknown" gets a bad rap - it doesn't ALWAYS bring the bad outcomes!
It can and often does bring GOOD changes!

2. Focus On Today: Take It One Step At A Time

Instead of trying to predict and project every possible outcome (good or bad), ground yourself in:

What you know today, and
What you can do today

Keep your mind in the here and now, on the things you can control within your grasp.

Zoom in and break everything down into smaller steps, or bite size pieces. When our mind is zoomed out way too far trying to figure out the macro view while in a stress response anxiety alarm will rise.

Take it one step at a time, trust that clarity on decisions will come as you move forward.

I know letting go isn’t always easy! But it’s necessary to create space for the new and unexpected blessings that can come with change.

Every lifequake, no matter how difficult, carries the potential for a fresh start, it will just take some time to unfold.

Remember, you don’t have to figure it all out today, there is no rush. Continue to put one foot in front of the other and you'll keep moving forward.

3. Trust The Answers Will Come To You

You are in fact extremely capable of navigating this chapter of unknown and emerging with a renewed sense of self.

I know it, and deep down you know it too.

Trust that the answers you seek will arrive in their own time.

I have no doubt you've worked through challenges before, and found reasonable solutions.

All the unknowns that are circling will soon become clear. And clarity often unfolds gradually.

On thing you can do to help you lean more into trust...

Practice Gratitude:

Every day, list one thing you’re grateful for within this transition, no matter how small.
This could be a new insight, a supportive friend, a conversation that needed to happen, or a new skill you’re learning.

Gratitude will keep you focused on what’s possible instead of what’s impossible.

About the Author:
Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across the globe in overcoming their professional anxieties, imposter syndrome, fears and insecurities to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching is about empowering women to rise above self-doubt and become fearless leaders in the pursuit of life and career success!
Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

If you’re looking to learn more about anxiety and the fear surrounding the unknown and ways to naturally relief it, my ebook “Becoming Fearless” is a wealth of knowledge. Offering 12 practical tools to support you beyond what I’ve shared here. Including coaching tips, links to meditations, mindfulness practices and inspirational stories from my clients. You can read more about it [here].

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When Life Turns Upside Down: Recognizing a Lifequake

5/11/2024

Have you ever had that sinking feeling that life, as you know it was crumbling beneath your feet?

Yes well, that’s exactly what I've felt this year.

I most certainly did not have a “Lifequake” on my bingo card for 2024. Predonimantly caused by a decision my family made to move from my beloved Singapore in Asia, to Florida, USA for my husband's job mid-year.

Navigating this move seemed easy on the "outlook". But throw in a steep learning curve on natural disasters as we were thrust into two major hurricane evacuations upon arrival, a lengthy furniture shipment delay leaving us in an empty house, two personal injuries (one after the other!) that had me hobbling for weeks, AND just last week a bout of emergency surgery for my son's appendicitis...

I'm just about all out of "sanity" by this point!

The bigger issue here - all of these challenges have meant I've needed to pause and take time off launching my coaching into the USA timezone to reacquaint my nervous system with:

a) my new environment, and
b) this ever evolving version of myself

If you’ve ever felt or experienced something like a “lifequake” before - you'll know there is only one way to explain it...

It’s extremely UNCOMFORTABLE!

And of course, life must go on, so you do your best to keep things together. While feeling like the LIFE you had carefully constructed is slowly but surely falling apart under your feet.

What is a Lifequake?

A lifequake is more than just a life change; it’s a deep, pivotal shift that redefines your path and perspective.

Lifequakes often come uninvited and without warning, shaking the very core of who you are and how you see yourself.
Think of it like a personal earthquake that affects not just your outer world but also your inner sense of stability and direction.
Most people go through at least three in their lifetime. Some are planned, like changing careers or starting a family, while others are unexpected, like a sudden illness, complex grief or the end of a marriage.

Lifequakes tend to mark the start of a transitional phase, one that can last months or even years, where you’re adjusting to a “new normal.”

How to Recognize When You're In A Lifequake Transition

From my personal experience, the first step to navigating a lifequake is to recognize that you’re actually in one!

Sometimes we’re so caught up in the busy stress of every day life that we don’t even realize we’re going through a transformation.

Here are some signs you may be in a life transition:

Uncertainty about the Future: The goals or identity that once felt “concrete” and guided you, no longer hold the same relevance. You find yourself unsure of what you want, and with so much “change” the future you envisioned feels less certain.
Overwhelming Emotions: Life transitions often bring a surge of emotions, ranging from anxiety, sadness and grief to frustration and confusion. It’s as if you’re shedding an old skin, and it can feel uncomfortable.
Questioning Your Identity: When lifequakes strike, they often shake the foundations of our “sense of self”. You may start questioning who you are, especially if the change disrupts roles that have defined you, such as being a spouse, in a specific profession, or a playing a role within your family unit. \
Feeling Stuck or Directionless: You’re moving forward, but it feels like you’re wading through mud. You might feel lost or trapped between who you used to be and who you’re becoming.

My biggest learning from this entire experience...

Lifequakes, as challenging as they are, have a way of guiding us toward growth and new possibilities.

Even if they don’t reveal the full picture right away.

This transition can feel overwhelming, but please know it’s also an invitation to perhaps rediscover yourself and redefine what truly matters for you at this stage of your life.

In my blog next week (yes, there is a Part 2!)...

I’ll share simple mindset shifts you can make that will help you find more clarity, resilience, and purpose as you navigate through this season of change.

It's the exact things I’ve been doing this year that have helped me immensly.

If you enjoyed reading this blog, subscribe to my email today and get the next one straight to your inbox!

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Motivation & The Elusive Work-Life Balance

6/8/2023

Finding motivation, and achieving a work-life balance are two topics that come up a lot in my coaching, and truthfully, it’s taken me a long (very long!) time to work out the formula to this problem.
I don’t know if you can relate to this, but I’ve always been the sort of person who is “ALL IN 100%” on something.
In my corporate career if I was working on a deadline, I was ALL IN, meaning motivation for ANYTHING else in my personal life got pushed to the bottom of the list.
Later, owning my own business in the early years, if I was working on a project, or studying, or exploring a new idea, I was ALL IN and my motivation for healthy habits like exercise, eating well or sleep got skewed.
And if I was focusing on living, enjoying personal time OFF work, travelling (or at times battling my own mental health journey) - then I was completely checked out and unmotivated for work, exercise or ANYTHING else!
If you are an ALL IN kind of person, I want you to know that this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
There is no doubt, you’re a go getter and have probably achieve great outcomes!
Until… you hit burnout, or the all or nothing mindset becomes an issue and other areas of your life begin to fall apart.
What I realised is that my mind was stuck believing these three things:

1. TO FEEL THE BENEFITS OF THE ELUSIVE WORK-LIFE BALANCE MEANT MY TIME HAD TO BE DIVIDED IN EQUAL PARTS.

So, in order to be “in balance” I thought I had to dedicate 1/3 of my time to work, 1/3 of my time to family, 1/3 of my time to personal every week.

However, I call this elusive as this is an unrealistic goal. Nothing in life happens in equal parts!
As humans we are cyclical beings.

Every year our planet runs in seasons – no matter where you live there is a cycle and a change of season. Some countries like here in Asia has 2 seasons (dry/wet), where the majority of the rest of the world has 4 distinct seasons. It's planetary.

As women our body runs in hormonal cycles, which means our energy levels will always be in flux. Science tells us that there are certain times within our hormonal cycle that are better for productivity, exercise, and rest. It’s biological.

When I started to understand and accept that life also runs in cycles and seasons, I began to feel more motivation and my mind expand with self-compassion.

Consistent MOTIVATION is cultivated from self-compassion, NOT GUILT.

In the cycle of life there will be months where work takes priority, and weeks where family takes priority, and then other times of the year when your personal and health goals will take priority. Ask yourself this:

What is the most important thing you need to be focusing on - right now this week or month?

Now, if I am in a season of increased work or study, then it’s I allow myself to create boundaries around my energy and reduce plans, commitments or tasks in other areas of life. Similar for family and person life.

The key is to:

Remember it’s not FOREVER this is a season or a cycle
Reframe going ALL IN – perhaps it’s 80 work/20 life - instead of 100/0 where you drop everything else
Reset and notice the signs when one area of life is out of skew BEFORE you hit burnout

Flowing within the cycle you are in, instead of berating yourself for not doing X or achieving X - means you’ll be more motivated.

2. I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND HABIT CHANGE AND BELIEVED I WAS UNMOTIVATED

Let’s talk about habits for a minute.

We learn habits through our conditioning, or from repeated past experiences. Our habits become imprinted as patterns or programs within our nervous system and brand, stored within the 95% unconscious part of our mind.

Once a habit (good or bad) is formed it occurs outside of our conscious awareness, and will continue operating the same program until a time where you bring the habit into your conscious awareness, and create a shift or change.

We all get so frustrated with ourselves and inflict so much guilt whenever trying to break “bad habits”.

But, I think the main point we forget is that if habits are learned from repeated past experiences – then we have to CONSISTENTLY repeat the experience, until which time the unconscious mind re-programs a new pattern.

The first step to habit change is always AWARENESS.

Becoming consciously aware so that you can see these patterns and "wake yourself up" to a new way of living. As yourself this:

What habits in your life today are working for you, or against you?

3. I COULDN’T LOVE, BE PROUD AND APPRECIATE MYSELF UNTIL I HAD ACHIEVED (XYZ)

There is nothing more un-motivating that trash talking yourself.
I call GUILT the swampland of the soul – guilt will always keep you STUCK in the place you are in.
If your mind is on a loop of dishing out rude comments, telling you how bad you are and filled with negative self-talk – then you are ALWAYS going to feel unmotivated to do the THING. No matter what the THING is!
Self-acceptance, and taking action are how you are going to stay motivated and find your version of work-life balance. As yourself this:
Wherever you are right now, love yourself for the cycle you are in.

Photo credit: @lizandmollie

There is nothing more un-motivating that trash talking yourself.

I call GUILT the swampland of the soul – guilt will always keep you STUCK in the place you are in.
If your mind is on a loop of dishing out rude comments, telling you how bad you are and filled with negative self-talk – then you are ALWAYS going to feel unmotivated to do the THING. No matter what the THING is!

Self-acceptance, and taking action are how you are going to stay motivated and find your version of work-life balance. As yourself this:

Wherever you are right now, love yourself for the cycle you are in.

And if you don’t know where to start to bring kinder thoughts into your life… begin with reading, writing or speaking positive affirmations every day.

Powerful "I am" and affirming statements.

This healthy mindset habit that is going to help you to feel more motivated and shift your mindset to having more positive thoughts.

>> If you're new to this concept I have a free guide to help you get started >> DOWNLOAD MY FREE AFFIRMATIONS LIST HERE

THIS is the one habit you want to start, and even better - it's completely free.

As you navigate and redefine what work-life balance looks like for you personally take this newfound awareness and embrace the cycle or season you are in. Whenever you find yourself off chart, you can always reset. But, remember the foundation of your motivation will be built on self-compassion, not guilt.

Free Affirmations List Here

About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

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Take Your Power Back: The Key to Lasting Happiness

11/6/2023

Have you ever found yourself seeking happiness through external validation?

For years, I placed my happiness in the hands of others, constantly thinking that if certain people or circumstances aligned in a certain way, then I would finally be happy.

I would catch myself saying things like, "If my parents, sister, husband, son, boss, colleague, or X did THIS, then I would be happy."

I tied my happiness to achieving good grades, receiving recognition at work, earning a promotion, or even reaching specific milestones in my first business.

My joy was dependent on external factors and the validation they provided.

The problem was, and what I've realised through Mindset Coaching, is that MY long term happiness is an internal job... I am the only one that can change it or make it happen.

Yes, the external factors could give me a temporary hit of happiness, BUT they could never give lasting contentment. Here's why:

* We cannot control the external factors! Or other people's opinion of us

* We cannot control how much or little someone loves us! Or HOW they specifically show us love

The key was... I had to learn to know, love and accept MYSELF (all facets and parts of me) - in order to find my self-worth and experience a contentment that I never even knew existed.

And the most amazing thing happened, when I stopped seeking external validation...

I got my power back!

In this video, I share the three crucial steps I took to break free from the cycle of seeking external validation and find true self-worth.

Let me detail the 3 steps I took for you here:

1. Get clear on what is in your control and what isn't

I learned that I cannot control other people's actions, reactions, behaviours or even the way they love and treat me. I cannot control every single outcome, to every situation in my life.

There will be uncertainty, there will be change, there will be things that do not always go my way. No matter how hard I work or try to make it different.

I can only control what is within my circle - my mind, my body, my emotions and my behaviours. How I think, reaction and respond is up to me.

2. Start your day with a focus on self-care

I started my day with a simple shift. In order to love myself fully and build self-worth I need to be the most important person in my world, my needs matter. My own self-care has to be a priority.

I decided to wake up 15 mins earlier, to sit listening to a short 5 min guided meditation and I did 10 mins of journaling positive affirmations - something I had never done before! (If you are new to meditation I have a few to help get you started here)

I spent 10 mins stretching and doing yoga, then ate a healthy nourishing breakfast and I listened to music while getting ready for work.

I found this short 20-30mins of "me-time" first thing in the morning would calm and refocus my mind, before the chaos of the day began.

When I filled my "needs cup" first, I found I wasn't looking to other people or external factors to fill my own needs.

3. Do one thing this week that brings you JOY

I began a new habit where once a week I would do something that brough me joy - something just for me. Where I didn't have to do anything for anyone else.

You see, I began to remember who I was outside of all the labels and hats I wore. Outside of the expectations, demands, stress and achievements of work.

I started to love and reconnect to my inner child, the part of me that had gotten lost from putting all my happiness eggs outside my own basket. The part of me that was waiting for someone else to love, care and adore me, the way I wanted.

It's an empowering feeling not waiting for someone to give you everything you need.

I began to breathe easier and smile more often. Life felt less heavy and more enjoyable.

I realise that it had to start with me, just like it has to start with you.

And I am here to tell you - YOU can absolutely do it too.

JB

VISIT 1:1 COACHING FOR MORE INFO

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5 Simple Questions for Checking in on Your Mental Health

28/5/2023

The most important day, is the day you decide your mental health is what matters most.

Once you create this mindset shift, you'll find quite a few things get easier to manage:

Setting healthy boundaries
Who you will and won't spend time with
The problems and drama you'll give your energy to
Making decisions about the future

I think so much of the time, as women, we feel like putting ourselves first is somehow selfish. But, it's not. It's actually healthy! How can you continue to give the world from an empty cup?

I certainly couldn't. I was at the rock bottom of my priority list. My cup was so empty when I first recognised my mental health was a problem, I couldn't even muster the energy to get out of bed to feed my 3yo son.

(Tap to listen to my story...)

Your Mental Health Matters.

My first (and biggest!) mindset shift was recognising that I was the only person who could actually change that situation.

No one was coming to fix me. No one was coming to save me.

I had to be the one who decided enough was enough, it was time for something to change.

My wish is that I can empower you with 5 Simple Questions for Checking in on Your Mental Health so that your life doesn’t get to its lowest point, before you decide it’s time for something to change.

Let's get into it:

1. How am I feeling emotionally right now?

Checking in on your emotional state is an important step in assessing your mental health. Ask yourself:

“How am I feeling in this moment?”
“How long have I been feeling this way?”

In times of external stress, we often deny our emotions, push them down and say, “I’ll deal with that later, I don’t have the time for this”.

The funny thing about emotions is… we have to feel them, to heal them. Our emotions will continue to arise, in small or big ways, until we do.

And at some stage they could even become super overwhelming - anxiety, anger, frustration, sadness – derailing you from every day life.

2. Am I taking care of my basic needs?

Mental health is closely intertwined with our body’s wellbeing. Your body may begin to show symptoms of poor mental health before you even realise it consciously. Muscle tension, pain, feeling restless, headaches, insomnia, appetite changes are all key symptoms. Ask yourself:

"Are you getting enough sleep, skipping meals, eating balanced meals, and engaging in regular exercise?"

Neglecting your body’s basic needs can contribute to fatigue and the body’s stress. If you are not well slept and nourished, the mind has less resilience and finds it harder to process stress and emotions.

3. Am I managing stress effectively?

Are you feeling overwhelmed and constantly under pressure?

Is the stress from X (work, family, relationships) causing you to reach for sugary foods, alcohol, cigarettes etc, more often?
Do you find yourself staying up later binge-watching TV or scrolling your phone to “zone out”.
Are you isolating more often from friends and loved ones?

Take a look at your coping mechanisms and self-care practices. Health stress management can be as simple as making time to move your body, meditate, journalling your thoughts or connecting with a friend – after a rough day.

4. How are my relationships influencing my mental health?

Our relationships and the people in our life play a crucial role in our mental health. Ask yourself

“Do you feel supported, valued, and respected?”
“Do the people you spend time with uplift you, or drain you?”
“Is this connection healthy for me right now”?

Perhaps it’s time to create a healthy boundary and/or take some time away from the people who maybe feeling toxic right now, to recoup your energy.

5. Am I engaging in activities that bring me joy and fulfilment?

When our external stress is at capacity, we forget about the simple act of doing things that bring us joy. If you are giving out all your energy to work, or other people’s problems – life is going to feel bleak really quickly. Ask yourself:

“When was the last time I did something just for the fun of it?”
“What is one thing that I could do, to bring more joy into my week?”

If you’re looking for ideas for spending quality time with yourself, perhaps try one of these:

Take off on an adventure, go on a bike ride
Go to see a funny movie
Grab a good book and go on a picnic
Spend time in nature
Baking or cooking (for no particular reason!)
Puzzles, painting or crafting
Organise dinner with a friend who always makes you laugh

Remember, checking in on your mental health is an ongoing process. It’s essential to be honest with yourself and seek support if you notice any persistent concerns or challenges.

There is no downside from ever working on your mindset or making some simple chances to your daily habits!

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There’s one thing I don’t believe ChatGPT can EVER replace: A GREAT COACH

Are more answers, more options and more data going to give you clarity or...?

WHEN AI GIVES YOU =​OVERWHELM x 1000

The issue with using AI as your coach: ​ChatGPT only knows what you tell it

Are you looking for Clarity?​Or REASSURANCE?

The real question often isn't:“What should I do?"

Three things to do before asking ChatGPT another question:

​Ready to Rediscover Your Spark?

Or the future you had carefully mapped out... suddenly doesn’t look anything like you expected.

Why major life changes can shake your identity

1. Separate who you ARE from the roles you play

2. Revisit your values

3. Pay attention to what gives you your spark back

4. Stop waiting to feel 100% certain or for every question in your mind to have the perfect answer

5. You aren't starting again from scratch

Ready to Rediscover Your Spark?

What Is a Life-Quake?

Common examples of life-quakes:

How Do You Know You’re in an Identity Crisis?

Why Coaching Is So Powerful During a Life-Quake and Identity Crisis

My Speciality: Identity Reset + Mindset Rebuilding for Women in Life-Quakes

If You’re in a Life-Quake, Here’s Your Next Step:

Have you ever woken up and thought, is this it...?

Questioning their purpose and struggling with confidence.

Step 1: Reflect on What You Enjoy

Step 2: Identify Your Strengths and Values

Step 3: Try New Things

Step 4: Seek Guidance from Mentors

Step 5: Trust the Journey

​Your Worth Isn’t in Your To-Do List—Here’s Why This Needs to Change.

Becoming FEARLESS - Digital Resources!

1. Acknowledge There Will Be Some Discomfort When Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

2. Focus On Today: Take It One Step At A Time

3. Trust The Answers Will Come To You

Have you ever had that sinking feeling that life, as you know it was crumbling beneath your feet?

What is a Lifequake?

How to Recognize When You're In A Lifequake Transition

My biggest learning from this entire experience...

1. TO FEEL THE BENEFITS OF THE ELUSIVE WORK-LIFE BALANCE MEANT MY TIME HAD TO BE DIVIDED IN EQUAL PARTS.

2. I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND HABIT CHANGE AND BELIEVED I WAS UNMOTIVATED

3. I COULDN’T LOVE, BE PROUD AND APPRECIATE MYSELF UNTIL I HAD ACHIEVED (XYZ)

1. Get clear on what is in your control and what isn't

2. Start your day with a focus on self-care

3. Do one thing this week that brings you JOY

Your Mental Health Matters.

There’s one thing I don’t believe ChatGPT can EVER replace:
A GREAT COACH

WHEN AI GIVES YOU =
OVERWHELM x 1000

The issue with using AI as your coach:
ChatGPT only knows what you tell it

Are you looking for Clarity?
Or REASSURANCE?

The real question often isn't:
“What should I do?"

Ready to Rediscover Your Spark?

Your Worth Isn’t in Your To-Do List—Here’s Why This Needs to Change.