Shining a Light on Suicide Prevention: Hope, Help, and Healing

*TRIGGER WARNING* In honour of World Suicide Prevention Day (Sep 10th 2023) This email talks about grief in losing a loved one to suicide, and how you can support someone you love through a mental health crisis.

Three years ago, I tragically lost my dearest friend to suicide.

A beautiful fun-loving soul, the kind of woman who had a smile and laughter that lit up the room. We connected on a deep level, even though she was 12 years younger. I think it’s because we shared similar personal, life and spiritual values. We had an interest in so many of the same things, from learning and travel, to cooking and our love for animals. We loved nothing more than to go for lunch in a cosy cafe and sit chatting for hours over cups of tea.

Her tragic death taught me many lessons about life, the world, the medical system and myself.

I've come to realise the hardest part of grief, in losing someone you love to suicide - is the guilt.

Could I, should I … have done more?

The answer in the mind is always yes. If I had my time again of course I would do so many things differently. 

But, in my heart I know I did the best I could at the time.

Part of the healing process has been to look at my actions and reactions in this event with my mentor and she taught me something extremely important:

Hindsight is a beautiful thing, but no amount of overthinking it will bring peace or bringher back. Acceptance is the key to healing.

I’ve come to realise that my fear of “losing her” in her mental and physical health battle kept my mind clouded and captive.  My voice of fear said:

“What if I say the wrong thing and she dies? I don’t know the answers for how to help her in THIS pain”.

Instead of tuning into my voice of wisdom: 

“You can never say the wrong thing when it comes from a place of love. What if you say the right thing and she lives?”.
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This is why I am so passionate about helping women with anxiety to learn how to quiet their voice of fear and tap into the loving kindness of their intuition, their voice of wisdom. 
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By encouraging, understanding, reaching in, and sharing experiences with others, Suicide Prevention Day is about giving people confidence to take action to prevent suicide

​Grief, as you probably know if you've experienced the it, has this way of stripping your heart bare to the darkest depths of your soul. And somehow over time your heart begins to slowly mend the cracks.

I guess is the power of healing and love. ​But, you are for sure never the same person again. 

The anniversary of her passing each year coinciding with World Suicide Prevention week every September I know as a message for me to remember to, and not be afraid to, tell her story.
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I will continue to bring light where I can to the darkness. She is worth it, and so are you.

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This is a message for anyone who has a loved one or friend who struggles with their mental health.

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HOW YOU CAN HELP SOMEONE YOU LOVE IN A
​MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS 

1.      Listen with compassion, remind them they are not alone and support is available today.

“How would you like me to support you?” or “What can I do to best support you today?”

2.      Help them to put a positive action plan in place to speak with their Doctor, Psychologist or mental health professional as soon as possible.

Remember that this is not solely up to you to fix, it may take a village of support and some time and space for that work to happen.

3.      Add the local mental health support hotline phone number in their phone.

Make the first call with them if needed and start the conversation for them.

“Hello, this is X she has been feeling X and we are looking for some support”

4.      Understand that people in a mental health crisis with suicidal thoughts are typically experiencing an intense negative emotional pain that they just can’t get rid of and this pain feels so big that they don’t know how to move past it.

This pain often makes them feel helpless without options. Ask a few questions to get a feel for the emotional pain or intense stress they are experiencing. Sharing this information with the hotline or medical professional can be helpful.

5.      Do not keep this a secret.

​This is very important. I know there is a stigma and shame attached to suicidal thoughts within our communities. We have to break down these isolating walls. Secrets will only ever keep a person sick. We must bring the dark thoughts into the light in order to have any chance of healing and moving forward

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MENTAL HEALTH FIRST AID

(Training for adults and parents/caregivers of children teens)

Knowledge and resources are what help us to feel more confident and empowered in stressful situations. Did you know there are courses you can take in mental health first aid? Available online for anyone who is interested in learning more about how to support someone through a mental health crisis.

My recommendation for quality online education for understanding mental illness and wellbeing is Meraki Mental Health Training.

​Learn more here:

MENTAL HEALTH FIRST AID TRAINING

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MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS HOTLINES AROUND THE WORLD

​If you or someone you love is having suicidal thoughts, get in touch with one of these amazing and supportive organisations:
 
AUSTRALIA
Lifeline – 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service – 1300 659 467
Beyond Blue Counsellor – 1300 22 46 36
 
SINGAPORE
Samaritans of Singapore - 1-767
WhatsApp – 9151 1767
Mental Health Crisis- 6389 2222
 
NEW ZEALAND
Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (text 4357)
Mental Health Foundation – 1737 (call or text)
Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865
 
UK
Suicide Prevention UK – 0800 689 5652
Samaritans – 116 123
CALM (evenings)– 0800 58 58 58
 
USA
Crisis Text line – 741741
Lifeline – 988
SAMHA National Helpline – 1 800 662 4357
 
CANADA
Talk Suicide Canada – 1 833 456 4566
The Listening Ear – 517 337 1717 

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