​I had a client recently, who was struggling with imposter syndrome, can you relate?

My client felt like she wasn't good enough for this role and her confidence had taken a hit after some disappointing feedback from a Manager she really liked.

To be honest, her self-belief pillars were totally shaken.

After just one session of getting really clear on who she was and what she wanted she saw her confidence start to return and her work anxiety lessen.

That is the power of the mind!

Ps. If you want to learn more about the 4-session coaching program I talk about in this blog you'll find it here -> CAREER MINDSET RESET ​

As a Mindset + Business Coach, the question I’m asked most often is:

“Janel, what’s the ONE THING I can do on a regular basis that’ll make the biggest positive difference in my life?”. 

My answer? 100% your morning routine. 

The things we do every day make a difference. They make a difference to our mental and physical health and wellbeing, to our mindset, and to how we head into and experience the day. It’s the “little things” we incorporate into our routines and practice every day that can make the biggest overall difference. 

Now the tips and suggestions I’m about to share with you probably aren’t anything new. Many of us already KNOW the practices that are good for us, the trick is actually DOING those things.

Meditate, journal, exercise, eat well; we know these are building blocks to thriving and making us feel better. The difficulty is putting one foot in front of the other to get started… and then to keep it going. 

Sometimes the biggest block is that it all just seems so overwhelming… if I'm going to start a new morning routine, then it means I have to get up at 5:00am. Then I need to spend an hour and a half doing ALL THE THINGS to fill my mind, move my body, and get ready mentally and physically for the day. And next? Wham, there's an extra hundred million things to add to an already full morning. 

Enter your mind saying, “This is too hard. There’s too much to do. Forget it. No deal.”
Now stop.

First, don't think about the 50 million things you have to do tomorrow, this week, this month, etc… 

Instead, focus on what you can do TODAY. 

Focus on the one LITTLE thing you can do today, that can be incorporated and repeated tomorrow, and the day after. Focus on the ONE THING you can do today, incorporate it slowly and gently into your morning, and then become consistent at it over time. 

If you have one of my Learn to Thrive journals  you know all about incorporating small changes over time. I call the morning routine “Five to Thrive”, and once you’ve gently incorporated all five into your morning routine it will look like this:

• 10 minutes of journal writing
• 10 minutes of meditation
• 10 minutes of moving my body
• Eating a healthy breakfast
• Listening to music 

These are my non-negotiables every single day. Why? Because they help set me up for a thriving day. It’s 30 minutes every morning that sets my body and mindset for a happier and healthier day.
Now you try.

Start with waking up just 10 minutes earlier tomorrow and choosing ONE THING (not ALL the things!) to add in.

After you’ve chosen this one thing, do it consistently for the next 30 days. Do this one thing (and only this one thing!) until you’re comfortable with it. Only when you’re comfortable with it is it time to incorporate something else. 

So now that you’re comfortable with it, the next day you get up another 10 minutes earlier, and add ONE more thing, commit to it for the next 30 days, and so on.

Does this seem slow? 

Maybe. 

But see it’s all about baby steps and simplicity. No complexity and no overwhelm. 
We’re aiming for one thing to be incorporated slowly and steadily over time. And the compound effect of this gentle routine on your mindset? 

Trust me, it is truly, truly incredible. 

You start feeling more comfortable and confident in yourself and in your days. You wake up each morning, practice your routine and eventually find that you feel amazing. You feel amazing and your days and weeks and months are running smoother because you've been meditating every day, been writing in your journal every day, been moving your body every day, been eating a nutritious breakfast every day, been listening to music every day. 

This compound effect of all these “little things”? AMAZING!

Feeling motivated to get started? Do it! 

Not so motivated? Don’t wait! 

Why? Because you may never feel motivated to start, especially if it’s something new (or involves getting up earlier). Instead, take the leap, set your alarm, and jump in. Choose the one thing you’re going to start with and just start.

Will it be easy? Maybe. That’s why taking gentle steps over time helps. 

But sometimes however you might need additional support along this morning routine journey. If this is the case, follow me at janelbriggs_thrive on Instagram and see how I use the "five to thrive " method or simply email me, hello@janelbriggs.com - I'd love to hear from you!

Take care, JB

Stress is everywhere right?
 
It's in the work environment and home environment. It’s in our relationships with our partners, kids, bosses and colleagues. It’s in politics (hey there recent US election!), economics, world issues, and COVID-19. It’s all of THOSE issues triggering all of the stress our lives isn’t it?
 
YES, these external elements cause us stress, but guess what?
There’s another cause as well, and one that’s more hidden and personal.
 
This is the (daily) stress that comes from our OWN destructive thinking. Our own fearful, doubting, criticising, and second-guessing thoughts. It’s our negative mindset and perhaps lack of boundaries. 

​
Step One: STOP
When we think these thoughts, or worse get them looping around in our heads, we need to STOP and not do anything at all. Why? Because this thinking often leads to feelings of lack, confusion, and discontent.

We become paralysed by our own doubtful thoughts and the stresses that come from these negative and often looping self-talk. We stay stuck battling inside our heads all day.

We feel and create that stuckness because we’re not moving forward and we're not moving back.

We’re half in and half out. Not committed and not rejecting it either.

And then we start with the shoulds. I should be doing this, I should be doing that… And then the shoulds build up… and then we cringe inside because we're unable to listen to the part of us that says, “Yes! Go  do that thing that you want to do.”
 
Enter Step Two: OBSERVE
What if once you stopped you then became the observer of your thoughts? What if when you stopped you could catch that thought when it starts? What if you could catch it, observe it and work to reframe it and ask it where it comes from?

Let’s try it.

For one day (why not today?) decide that you’re going to be an observer of your thoughts. You’re going to catch just one negative thought before it spirals. You’re going to stop and follow it and keep following it until you know where it comes from. And once you know where it comes from, you’re going to explore it and be curious about why it’s here. And then you’re going to consider whether or not it’s a thought that tends to show up a lot in your life.

Another thing you could try is catching that negative thought and deciding to reframe it to a positive thought instead. Reframe it by taking the thought from “negative” or “bad” so that its context is changed so you can see the positive, or at least the neutrality of it.
 
Step Three: BOUNDARIES
In working with clients I’ve learned that it’s important to help them set healthy boundaries around (for example) people in their lives that trigger them emotionally or in other ways. You know the people. The ones who are vying for your attention. The ones calling you and contacting you, needing you now, now, now. Everything is now. Everything is urgent.

Well again, let’s try something.

For one day (perhaps today?) try NOT responding to all those (non)urgent cries for your attention. Put your email on auto-responder. Let the phone call go to voice mail. Change your status to offline. Silence your phone (or at least the notifications). Choose one person, some people, or everyone to implement these actions and boundaries with. The important thing is that you protect your time, energy, concentration, and thoughts by building healthy boundaries to prevent that stress from creeping up.
 
And Step Number Four: AFFIRMATION.

You know I love positive affirmations, and use them daily in my journal and life. Start with one positive affirmation, just one. Practice writing it out and saying it to yourself or out loud.

Now the trick with affirmations is to say them, write them, and use them daily. To repeat. Repeat. Repeat until you believe and there is no doubt in your core.

I want you to think, write, and say aloud one or more of the following:

• I am a creative and organised woman.
• I am beautiful in every way.
• I believe in my strength, intuition, and power.

Repeating your affirmation(s) is guaranteed to shift your negative beliefs and quiet the destructive thinking that so often leads to stress.
 
After reading over these four steps, how do you feel? How do you feel about acknowledging the external stressors while also taking responsibility for your OWN stress-inducing thoughts? For reframing negative thinking? Setting up boundaries? Reciting affirmations?
 
Yes, it’s not easy to do straight away. And yes it will take practice. Start slow, go gentle and know that you’ve got this.
 
Now pop a comment down below or send me an email to let me know how you’re going or how I can help. Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter as well so you never miss any stress-busting learn-to-thrive tips again.

Why is it that when we have so much to do, to run your business... that we sit and spin out wheels and do nothing at all?

To do lists a mile lone, calls to make, leads to follow up, deadlines looming like dark clouds. And we just can't get moving, zero motivation. Negative self-talk kicks in, and the anxiety.

Procrastination would have to be the most guilt producing blocker on the planet!

Why do we delay the work, when we know it’s got to be done? When we know working our business and client work is what brings in the income? Why is it so hard to jump in and tick things off the list?

Procrastination is a sign of overwhelm.

It is how our mind responds to the fact we are overloaded by the sheer volume of work and noise we have in our life. 

As a business owner the to do list is never ending. We become overwhelmed by what is required of us. There is the pressure (financial and other) of running the day to day business and managing life outside of the business.

With so much going on it seems impossible to even choose what is most important, or what to do next. 

So, we procrastinate.

It is easier to delay and postpone and find something else to do that takes our mind off all that we have to do.  The issue with this however, is that it exacerbates the problem feeling we had in the first place.

4 SIMPLE IDEAS TO HELP YOU PUSH THROUGH THE PROCRASTINATION

1. Start Yesterday

Prep your day, the day before. Write out your to do list the night BEFORE you leave the office. Make it the last thing you do before shutting down your laptop. List 3 things you do tomorrow. 

Just 3 things. Be realistic, this is not a brain dump of everything that you have circling your mind that needs doing. Sometimes your “to do list” of 50 URGENT items is the biggest trigger for procrastination. It is too overwhelming, where do you even start?! Instead, write a short list of your top 3 MUST DO’S.

Remember: You can do anything, but not everything!

2. Start Early

Studies tells us that your brain functions best an hour after you wake and is running at maximum productivity for the first 2-3 hours. Knowing this – find out when your peak productivity time is … and use it!

• Could you spend one hour working from home before coming into the office when your brain is fresh - before the chaos of the day derails you?
• Could you arrange your day to get to the office earlier during your peak productivity time?

3. Eat the Frog 

I know it sounds like a strange concept (and now you’ll probably remember it!), but when you get to the office and look at the 3 things from your list ask yourself:

What is the HARDEST thing on your list to do? 

• Whatever that is… do that first. Eat the frog. You’ll know what it is because it’s the one thing that you really don’t want to do.
• Push yourself to do it first, it is a mindset flip. After that everything else will flow because you already have a sense of accomplishment from doing the hardest thing straight up
• Next, what is the second hardest thing on your list? Repeat, and repeat.

This concept shifts you forward into action, just imagine how productive you could be if you made “eat the frog” a daily habit? 

4. “Chunk Down” Out of the Overwhelm

You might be thinking “Well, I don’t even know what to write on my list I am that overwhelmed with what is coming at me right now”. When the brain fog is thick from stress and E V E R Y T H I N G feels overwhelming then here is a simple tool called chunking down, that will help bring you out of the overwhelm. 

Book 15mins of quiet reflection time, take a deep breath and asking yourself a couple questions to find clarity:

What specifically is causing me to feel this way?

• What specifically am I overwhelmed about (list them all down)?
• What prevents me from starting with X? (choose 1) 
• Then make a detailed list to help move me forward on this one item, ask yourself – what is the first step I can take?

Chunking down allows you to get into the details and specifics of what is causing the overwhelm, understand what is blocking you and allows you to break it down into steps. Then everything doesn’t feel so daunting. 

Taking the first step helps you to kick start the momentum and push through that procrastination!

​Sometimes as career women, we find ourselves at a crossroads: do I stay in this job that pays the bills but doesn’t give me much else? Do I want to spend the next 2, 5, 10, years in the same career? In the same job? At the same company? In the same industry?

Or do I…
What if I…
Could I…
Is it possible to…

See we think these questions, but then we also find ourselves afraid of the answers, because the answers often mean change, and change often means stepping out of our comfort zones, and stepping out of our comfort zones can be scary. 

​Have you heard the saying, that there is no growth in your comfort zone? If not, think about it and tell me it’s not absolutely true. Are you REALLY able to grow if you’re staying comfortable at the same time?
 
Now, you’re welcome to stay in your comfort zone as long as you like, especially if you’re happy with where you're at in your life, work, and career.
 
But if you want to have more, be more, do more, or try more, then you've GOT to take a leap. And by taking that leap you’ll inevitably end up growing in the process and therefore stepping out of that (career) comfort zone.
 
I recently had a client who was 25 years old and looking at going to university to study a new career. The time it would take for her to complete her studies would be 7 years, which was obviously a big commitment. It also meant that she would have to step wildly out of her comfort zone and into an entirely new industry, and it was THIS that was holding her back.  Not so much the time commitment, but the idea that she’d be stepping out into the unknown.
 
Whether you’re 25, 35, or 45, we often feel like it's too late to begin or we're too old or there isn't enough time or we don’t know how we could possibly make it work or…
 
Now stop.
​
Stop and answer me this: does it matter how long it takes if this is THE thing you've always a) wanted to do, or b) is the thing you want to do for the rest of your life?
 
It yes, then time doesn't really matter.
If yes, then it’s time to step out of your comfort zone, because if that thing that you want to do will set your soul and your passion on fire, then it doesn't matter how long it's going to take. You do it. You make it work. You ask for help. You reprioritise. You step out of your comfort zone and commit to the next stage.
 
For me, I spent 15 years working in a corporate career. In my thirties, I shifted my corporate role and went back to study public relations. Not easy, but I did it, because I knew I wanted to change. When I left corporate and started running my own business, it took another even bigger jump out of my comfort zone to transition. But guess what? I found my true calling and passion, coaching other women with their mindset and businesses, and couldn’t be more happy or fulfilled.  

And how did I bust through them? Well I continued to remind myself that the work I wanted was bigger than my fears. The women I wanted and knew I could help were bigger than my fears. They were bigger than staying in my comfort zone. And so it was only by stepping out of my comfort zone that I was able to thrive… and help other women do the same.
So if you find yourself heading towards a career crossroad (or know you’re already smack in the middle of one), I can help. If you’re got that side hustle happening you think (or know) could be something more, I can help.
 
With my Career Mindset Reset I can help you step out of your comfort zone and get you clear on:

• Playing to your strengths and working within your genius zone
• Finding out what you are best at and bringing it into alignment with your ideal career
• Discovering your personal and work values
• Exploring what your ideal career looks like
• Building a strategy to make your ideal career a reality 
• How to set your goals and create your future

 
Now will any of this be easy? Probably not. But I can guarantee this: it will definitely be worth it. Stepping out of your (career) comfort zone will bring you closer to your dreams. Closer to the life and business and career you envision for yourself.
 
So if you have any questions about my the Reset or just stepping out of your career comfort zone in general, comment below or send me an email.

I’d love to help you find clarity!

JB

The truth is… when we live in a world where we are expecting other people to react or respond to us in the way WE WANT them to… we are only ever going to be the ones feeling let down.

Why?  Well, we actually have zero control over other people. We cannot control the way they react or respond to us, or the things that happen in relationships.

We can hope, wish, dream, push and pull that person to our expectation level – and yet, NOTHING is ever going to happen the way we expect it to. So, what happens then?

• Feelings of resentment rise up
• Feelings of disappointment rise up
• Feelings of frustration and hurt rise up

Sometimes even a deep seeded feeling of sadness overcomes us – from that emotional disconnection. The disconnect of how you expected a person to behave, or for how things were supposed to have played out.

I want to share with you that EXPECTATION... is actually a type of control. Essentially it is where we are attempting to control the outcomes.

I say WE, because I am no stranger to putting expectations on people. I used to put people and certain relationships in my life on a pedestal. And then I could never work out why I felt so deeply wounded when things didn't play out how I had ex[ected. It was so much more than disappointment. It was a wound and crack.

It was my own unachievable expectations... hurting ME.

Many many years ago, in a romantic relationship I viewed a person in my life as better than me. I raised him up onto a golden throne, put his hopes and dreams and money-making ability ahead of mine.  In my mind I fantasized about how it would all work, how he would respond to the glory of me supporting his dream, and how he would act in kind love and gratitude for this service and in turn support me emotionally and financially. And make me happy. THE END.

I actually set him up to FAIL ME.

I EXPECTED him to be the person I had imagined in my mind, when in fact the reality in front of me showed nothing of the sort. I wasn’t allowing him to be the person that he always was, OR accepting him for who he was.

Looking back now I realise that my expectations killed my happiness.

Nothing was ever good enough to the imagined scenario in my head. How could it be? I expected too much - how could anyone one person ever live up to those grand expectations?? So much PRESSURE. And of course, when things didn’t happen as I had expected - I responded to my hurt and "wounds" by lashing out in resentment and frustration. (I was a fire-cracker in my twenties!) Then isolate feeling deeply disconnected.  Obviously, that relationship didn't last.

One of the biggest learnings in my life has been that having high expectations of people, is only ever going to hurt YOU.

Instead of having expectations, I learnt how to have STANDARDS. 

Standards are awesome, they are based on fact.
A standard is a level of quality you want to have within a person or relationship in your life.

Expectations are based on fiction.
An expectation is a strong "belief" (hope/wish) that something is going to happen the way you want it to, in the future. 

So, how do you create this shift within your relationships?

1. Calibrate your expectations on a person’s behaviour

If a person in your life is showing you their “standard behaviour” and it doesn’t align with your personal values – then know that putting an expectation on them to BE SOMEONE DIFFERENT or act differently is only ever going to hurt you.

Drop your expectations. Create your standards.

If someone is treating you a certain way that is upsetting you, and when you calibrate on current and past experiences you realise this is their "standard behaviour" towards you = then you have a choice.

Do you accept this persons standard behaviour?  If this is as good as it gets - are you happy with how it is going to be?

What behaviour will you allow, or and not allow in your life? 

2. All you can control is your own emotions

How WE REACT and RESPOND to the people, situations, and conversations in our lives is the only thing we can control in our life.

It’s a hard truth to learn, and I am grateful for the lesson. I learnt that if I stopped having expectations of people in my life (and focussed on standards instead) - I could accept and value people for WHO THEY REALLY ARE.

Accepting the reality of the situation, not living with an expectation of how it “should be” means you will be able to have more control over your emotions.

You are no longer pressing someone to be someone they are not. 
AND on the flip side they aren’t trying to constantly live up to your expectations, and failing you. 

This allows you to feel more connected and happier in their presence.  No longer are we playing this “game” of attempting to control the story or the outcome! 

You be you.  And I’ll focus on me being me.

So, how do you actually release your expectations? A good question to ask yourself is:

“Are my expectations… killing my happiness?”

• Am I expecting someone or something to be different than what it REALLY is?
• What is this persons repeated behaviour actually telling me?
• Does this person’s behaviour align with my standards and personal values?
• Am I forcing an outcome and expecting someone to give me something they actually can’t give me?

Then, return the focus back to you:

• Why am I expecting someone or something to be what it is not?
• What do I need out of this relationship, or situation that I am not getting?
• Am I willing to accept this person/relationship/situation as is?
• Can I release my expectations, knowing that doing so will allow me to have more control over my emotions and my happiness?

I know this is a big topic, and you may just be scratching the surface with these thought starters- if you've been struggling in this area then I hope this blog has helped you to find some clarity. Share your experience with me any time!
JB

One of the key reasons I was drawn to the coaching methodology of NLP was because the foundation itself is based on communication. It is all about our language. The way we speak to ourselves, speak to people, use our body language and our ability to actively listen to get to the root cause of a problem.

I have always had a fascination with communication. Creative writing was one of my favourite subjects at school, later in my 30’s I studied Public Relations which is essentially communicating a message to influence with words, still and moving imagery, and media.

Words have meaning, and often they have double meanings. It is the way we speak words that gives them emotion.

After learning how certain words have a NEGATIVE charge on our life I opted to delete a few from my vocab; here’s why:

The word “TRY” – a wishy washy word, that we all know means you won’t do it!  

• Think about it - whenever you say “I’ll TRY to make it” everyone knows you are going to be there! You just didn’t want to say no and hurt anyone’s feelings or have fomo. Try implies you will “attempt” to do something. In that attempt you just aren’t sure if you will or you won’t. When you try you may or may not give it 100%. In my view you’re either in or out. You either believe in it or you don’t. If it is anything less than 100% - then just be honest and say what you really mean.

The word “DON’T” – I hear this one too often! “I don’t want that, or I don’t like it when he/she does this it makes me feel X”.

• The more you say the word “don’t” the further AWAY you move yourself (your mind and your actions) from what you actually WANT.  And you typically get more of what you don’t want!  Whereas reframing your language to focus on what you “WANT” … will give you more of what you actually want - LIGHT BULB MOMENT!!!! (ahhhhhuh lol).

 
Now that little rant is over… let’s talk about the word of the day:

SHOULD

Louise Hay, author of many many personal development books explains this word the best:

“The word should is one of the most damaging words in our language. Every time we use should, we are, in effect, saying it's“WRONG”. Either we ARE wrong, or WERE wrong, or we are GOING TO BE wrong.”

I have to agree with her.

Think about it for a moment. Can you think of a situation when someone recently has said to you:

“You SHOULD do this, or you SHOULD handle it like that, or you SHOULD go this way” – How does that make you feel?

When I’ve been on the receiving end of “Should” talking - I know full well I am not taking that persons advice/suggestion. Even if its amazing advice! HA.  Why? There is some sort of internal radar to the word “should” that tells me DO NOT DO IT! (especially if it’s my husband telling me, for some reason HAHA!). 

How about you? 

It is because we feel like the person is saying we have handled it WRONG, or we cannot handle the situation so we need to be told what to do.

Seriously, most of the time – women just want to be heard!  Agree?  We actually really want to communicate and connect - not be told what we should be doing.

SHOULD (replaced with) COULD

Now, imagine the same scenario where you’ve been told you “SHOULD” do something… and imagine hearing the word COULD instead?

“You COULD do this, or you COULD handle it like that, or you COULD go this way”. How does that feel?  Better, right?

Why? Because when we replace our language with the word COULD – then we feel as though it gives us a CHOICE. 

We don’t feel wrong, we just see it as being offered multiple options.  And it puts a whole new light on the subject.

SHOULD (replaced with) WOULD

In a recent Instagram video I shared with my thrive community the power of replacing the word “SHOULD” with “WOULD” when delivering our communication wanting to help a person to come to a decision, or give direction.
​
I received some incredible feedback on how this simple shift in language has helped in the workplace when Managing a team, as well as in discussions with loved ones. Check it out here:

Now that I have opened up your awareness to the power of your language, and the negative charge certain words create - you may start to notice how often you use them?

1. Practice catching yourself before you speak. 
2. See if you can reframe the sentence - to remove old word and replace with the new
3. Notice how it makes you feel AND how the message was delivered when you speak the new sentence

​And, if you want to delete these words from your vocab – then go head!

This shift in language will help to move you closer to where you really want to be.