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Have you ever found yourself wishing that someone in your life would change, thinking it would make everything so much better?
Many women experience stress, mental and emotional strain as a direct result of the other people's behaviours and actions.
"IF ONLY he/she would do THIS, then everything would be OK!"
If they would just make "this change" then our life would greatly improve, and I could stop worrying. I know, how amazing would it be if the people we cared about would do what we want them to all the time!!
But here's the sad truth: You can't force anyone to change.
No matter how much you want it for them or love them, what you say or do for them... only they can DECIDE to make changes in their life.
You cannot control their choices or outcomes. And all that pushing will ultimately cause you more resentment, heartache, stress and pain.
Which I know is a super hard to hear. I've been there too.
I have multiple people in my life today I would LOVE to see change their ways - but a decade of trying to change them broke me and I had to learn to let it go.
I've also seen this frustration in a few of my past coaching clients' relationships. Where women who have journeyed on the path of self-discovery for themsleves now want the same for their partner, sibling, child, or partent. However, in attempting to push them to "see the light" and change their habits and behaviours, they've ended up causing themselves angst.
This is what I can share: You can't change them, but you can be the inspiration for their change.
Perhaps even a catalyst, by showing them what is possible. The decision for someone to change their life has to be their own, otherwise the transormation may be fleeting or won't stick long term.
If you can't walk the path for them, what can you do?
Continue to focus on your own personal growth and well-being. Be the light in their life. From my experience it takes patience, but in time you may notice small shifts and improvements both in your life and theirs.
Here are 5 actions you can take:
True power is found in changing ourselves and inspiring the change we wish to see in others.
About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in overcoming their professional anxieties, imposter syndrome, fears and insecurities to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching is about learning how to become fearless and level up your life and career! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.
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*TRIGGER WARNING* In honour of World Suicide Prevention Day (Sep 10th 2023) This email talks about grief in losing a loved one to suicide, and how you can support someone you love through a mental health crisis.
Three years ago, I tragically lost my dearest friend to suicide.
A beautiful fun-loving soul, the kind of woman who had a smile and laughter that lit up the room. We connected on a deep level, even though she was 12 years younger. I think it’s because we shared similar personal, life and spiritual values. We had an interest in so many of the same things, from learning and travel, to cooking and our love for animals. We loved nothing more than to go for lunch in a cosy cafe and sit chatting for hours over cups of tea.
Her tragic death taught me many lessons about life, the world, the medical system and myself.
I've come to realise the hardest part of grief, in losing someone you love to suicide - is the guilt.
Could I, should I … have done more?
The answer in the mind is always yes. If I had my time again of course I would do so many things differently.
But, in my heart I know I did the best I could at the time.
Part of the healing process has been to look at my actions and reactions in this event with my mentor and she taught me something extremely important:
Hindsight is a beautiful thing, but no amount of overthinking it will bring peace or bringher back. Acceptance is the key to healing.
I’ve come to realise that my fear of “losing her” in her mental and physical health battle kept my mind clouded and captive. My voice of fear said:
“What if I say the wrong thing and she dies? I don’t know the answers for how to help her in THIS pain”.
Instead of tuning into my voice of wisdom:
“You can never say the wrong thing when it comes from a place of love. What if you say the right thing and she lives?”.
This is why I am so passionate about helping women with anxiety to learn how to quiet their voice of fear and tap into the loving kindness of their intuition, their voice of wisdom.
By encouraging, understanding, reaching in, and sharing experiences with others, Suicide Prevention Day is about giving people confidence to take action to prevent suicide
Grief, as you probably know if you've experienced the it, has this way of stripping your heart bare to the darkest depths of your soul. And somehow over time your heart begins to slowly mend the cracks.
I guess is the power of healing and love. But, you are for sure never the same person again.
The anniversary of her passing each year coinciding with World Suicide Prevention week every September I know as a message for me to remember to, and not be afraid to, tell her story.
I will continue to bring light where I can to the darkness. She is worth it, and so are you.
This is a message for anyone who has a loved one or friend who struggles with their mental health.
HOW YOU CAN HELP SOMEONE YOU LOVE IN A