Where Are You on the Priority List?

Here's a reflection for all the care-takers out there. The mothers, fur-mama's and women in relationships who spend most of their time caring and holding space for other people (whether it be your partner, children, family, or in your friendships).

I want to ask you a question:

Where are you on the priority list of your life?

​Recently, I had to ask myself this question. And it's VERY interesting what came up!
 
Last week my husband and I decided to invest in private 1:1 coaching for our son (who is 10yo) for a sport he loves. This coaching would help him to build more confidence and fine tune his skills. I did my research, got a referral, and the quote came back at $200 for a number of sessions. 

It was literally a split-second decision - YES, let's do it!

Within 24hrs the first session was set up. It was a "no-brainer" for us to spend $200 on our son's progression in this sport, his happiness is high on our priority list.
​

On the flipside, I reflected on how I would have responded if the tables were turned a few years ago. I wondered how long it would have taken me to DECIDED to spend that same $200 on myself??

Perhaps you could ask yourself the same thing?

I can tell you, the decision would have taken wayyyy longer than 24hrs!! My mind would have been spinning thinking about all the justifications, the pro's and con's, in an attempt to ward off the overwhelming feeling of... GUILT.
​
"I can't do that, I can't spend that much on myself... it's too much! I'll find another way. I'll get another quote. I'll wait to see if I REALLY NEED IT."
​

You may have had a similar response or mindset too?

I've had clients tell me they're kids are always dressed in the best clothes - yet they're still wearing those old shoes with the hole in them they bought 5 years ago!
​
Or, they'll even pay for the finest food, toys and new beds for they're fur babies - yet they're still using a broken hair brush from 2012!

Or, they won't even blink an eye at loaning a family member or friend money to support their idea or dream - yet won't do the same for themselves!
​

WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS??

Honestly, I believe it comes down to priority and self-value. Where we place ourselves on our own priority list matters.

We forget about how important it is to invest in ourselves, in our own progression, healing and growth.

I can tell you that in every decision I used to make - I was at the bottom of my priority list.
Somehow in my role as the "responsible care-taker" in my immediate and extended family I thought else's needs came before mine.

What I came to realise (after hitting a rock bottom with my mental health in 2017!) is that my needs and taking care of myself HAD to come FIRST.

I needed to be a top priority in my life, instead of bottom of the list.
​
If I couldn't make myself a priority and voice my needs - then how would anyone else ever make me a priority too? 
​

​My last questions for you is this:

How can you move yourself up the priority list this week

• Understand where you are on your own priority list
• Put time and energy into shifting your mindset focusing on your needs
• Release the guilt & do the thing!

​And if you have any questions or comments on how to get started - please reach out!

---

About the Author: 
Janel Briggs is an Author, Mindset Coach, Practitioner of NLP and Timeline Therapy on a mission to support women across the world in overcoming their  anxiety - personal insecurities and professional fears - to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching aims to help you fearlessly elevate your life and career, and more importantly the relationship you have with yourself! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

---