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January often arrives with a pressure to “start fresh” from January 1st, but this week I’ve been having very different conversations with my clients. Women who are highly capable, emotionally intelligent, and deeply self-aware… yet feel flat, overwhelmed, and strangely disconnected from themselves. No where near feeling "fresh" and excited for the new year. What I'm seeing is that their attention is too exhausted to even begin to think about the step to start "New Year - New Me"! We live in a world that expects or demands "instant" everything. That's created a habit of constantly fragmenting our focus in order to meet those expectations. Every day we end up splitting our time multi-tasking to get everything done:
But your nervous system doesn’t experience that as normal. It experiences it as never being safe enough to rest. Why multitasking drains your emotional resilienceWe are taught that multi-tasking is a productivity skill. It's something women do extremely well and often pride themselves on being able to juggle many things at one time. However, what they don't tell us is that multi-tasking is also a stress amplifier. When your brain constantly switches from one task to the next task without closing down any of the tabs, it burns our brain's energy faster, reduces our emotional regulation, and unfortunately increases anxiety. Over time, the more we mutli-task this shows up as:
As our brain never gets to fully recharge! Which then leads to... you guessed it LESS PRODUCTIVITY! The one thing we're trying to achieve by multi-tasking. Now, I know you probably love multi-tasking. I definitely used to, it was almot a badge of honor I wore. We all love being able to tick things off the list FASTER than lightning! And you're probably reading this thinking there is no way I can stop multi-tasking, I'll never actually get anything done... And I get it, there are so many shifting priorities and deadlines to meet every single day. So, if you can’t stop multitasking at work (and many can’t), start where you do have control. Stop multi-tasking at homeOne small practice I’ve been giving clients this week, to help calm their nervous system:
Be intentional with your time! Your brain has a limited attentional capacity. When you try to do two things that both require focus (reading emails + watching TV, listening in a meeting + replying to messages), your brain doesn’t split attention evenly. Instead, it rapidly toggles between tasks. That toggling uses A LOT of mental energy. Where you can = just focus on one thing at a time! You'll feel more grounded, and it's a big first step to helping you be "more present" this year, if that is something that you're wanting to achieve.
If you work from home and find it hard to concentrate or stay motivatedIf you work from home and notice your focus slipping, your motivation dropping, or the urge to multitask creeping in, this is important to understand: Your brain doesn’t recover by pushing through. It recovers through rhythms of focus and rest. One simple technique I often suggest to clients is based on the principle behind the Pomodoro Technique. Not as a productivity hack, but as a way to preserve brainpower and reduce mental fatigue. The idea is simple: Instead of working continuously until you’re exhausted, you work in short, intentional bursts of focus, followed by brief, regular breaks. Research shows that taking breaks before you feel depleted helps:
In other words, you’re working with your brain, not against it. What this can look like at home Here’s an example of how this might work in real life scenario, especially if you’re juggling work and home responsibilities:
This approach reduces the temptation to multitask because your brain knows: “I don’t have to do everything at once, there’s a pause coming.” Why this helps anxiety too When your nervous system knows rest is built in, it doesn’t stay on high alert waiting for the next interuption of your attention. Focus improves. Overwhelm eases. Mental energy lasts longer. This is about protecting your attention and reducing exhaustion. Which is one of the most powerful ways to support emotional regulation and reduce anxiety. Sleep is not optional for emotional regulationAnother theme I've been talking about A LOT this week with clients = SLEEP. Not just how many hours you lay there and close your eyes for, but also the quality of sleep you're getting. Which leads to how deeply your system is actually recharging (or not) every night. When sleep is compromised:
your nervous system is just tired. Rebuilding boundaries is how you rebuild yourselfWeak boundaries around work, health, lifestyle, relationships don’t just affect your emotional state and energy levels, they can also erode your sense of self as you continue to put everyone else's priorities BEFORE yourself. Over time, you lose:
This is the work I meet a lot of women and we do the work inside Rediscover Your Spark. It’s a coaching program specifically designed for restoring energy, identity, and emotional stability so confidence can return naturally. If this blog resonates and you'd like to learn more about these topics - reach out today! ~JB 
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Life has a way of changing in sudden, unexpected, or overwhelming waves. Sometimes those changes feel exciting. Other times… they shake the ground beneath your feet. Sociologists call these moments “life-quakes”. LIFEQUAKE: A moment where the life you knew gets disrupted - either by choice, by circumstance, or by a season you never saw coming. Now, you may be thinking - these kinds of surprises happen all the time in modern life. We’re all dealing with busy schedules, constant change, and the unexpected all the time. But a life-quake is different. It doesn’t just disrupt your day… it disrupts you. It’s an emotional and identity-level disruption that leaves you questioning who you are, where you’re going, and what actually matters to you now. And for women, especially women who are go-getters, multi-taskers, high level performers, perfectionists and those who have built their lives around supporting others - life-quakes are incredibly common. But very few of us are taught how to navigate one. In this article, we’ll explore:
And if you’re reading this thinking “This is me right now…” - stay to the end. There’s a resource that may help you start to reconnect with the spark you’ve lost.
Unlike a typical change you make that alters your life in some way, a life-quake is:
Majority of the time it can be triggered by something that is deeply difficult to navigate. But also note that it can be triggered by something positive, even something you've said yes or agreed to AND actually wanted. What matters isn’t the event itself, it’s the internal impact that event has on you, your mindset and mental health. Common examples of life-quakes:
A life-quake essentially pulls the rug out from under your old identity and asks you to build a new one. This is where many women unknowingly enter an identity crisis, and feel like they are losing their "sense of self". How Do You Know You’re in an Identity Crisis?Identity crises don’t usually arrive with flashing lights and big neon signs. Instead, they show up quietly, subtly, in your internal thoughts and feelings like: 1. “I don’t know who I am anymore.” You’ve changed, but your life hasn’t caught up yet (or vice versa) and you stop recognizing the person you see in the mirror. 2. Losing motivation or spark "This no longer brings me joy" Things that once lit you up and brought you joy, now feel boring, overwhelming or sometimes even heavy. 3. Feeling disconnected from yourself "What do I even want?" You’re going through the motions doing all the things you normally do BUT nothing feels like "you" anymore. 4. Constant self-doubt and second-guessing "What should I do?" Every decision feels hard, even smallest decisions. You feel unsure about everything and question yourself more than you back yourself 5. Feeling invisible or unheard "No one cares about me, what I want" Your needs feel buried beneath responsibilities, expectations, or OTHER people’s priorities. 6. Grieving who you used to be "I used to be so fun and carefree" Even if your life looks “good” on the outside you feel a sense of loss for an old version of yourself. 7. Overwhelm, anxiety, or emotional waves "I'm worried all the time" Your mind is overstimulated, your energy is low, and your nervous system feels constantly “on”. 8. A deep desire for change - but no energy or clarity on what change you actually want You want to hit a reset… but you just don’t know where to begin. Everything feels hard and confusing. If you recognize yourself in any of these, please know you’re not “broken”, you’re simply in a chapter of what I like to call identity reinvention. Shedding the old to make way for a new version of you to emerge. You v2.0 is envolving - and that’s where coaching can become life-changing. Why Coaching Is So Powerful During a Life-Quake and Identity CrisisMost women try to navigate life-quakes alone, we tell ourselves: “I should be able to handle this” “Other people have it worse” “I just need to push through” But this kind of identity shift (which often comes with a side of burnout!) doesn't respond to pushing! They respond to pausing, listening, and rebuilding from within. Coaching offers exactly that. Here’s why coaching works during identity disruption: 1. It gives you a grounded space to understand what’s actually happening When your internal world feels chaotic, you need time and space for refleciton - not more pressure. 2. It helps you separate your true self from old patterns and expectations Many identity crises stem from roles you’ve outgrown! The achiever, the fixer, the caregiver, the perfectionist, the “strong one”. This finally a time where you get to rewrite the rules. 3. It resets your nervous system so decision-making becomes easier Burnout, overwhelm, and emotional fatigue cloud your thinking. A regulated nervous system gives you clarity and confidence again. 4. It helps you rebuild confidence & self-trust So you can stop second-guessing and start leading your life with certainty. 5. It accelerates your transformation What takes women years to figure out alone often becomes clear in weeks with structured guidance.  My Speciality: Identity Reset + Mindset Rebuilding for Women in Life-QuakesFor the past 8 years, I’ve coached 500+ women through the exact moment you might be in now. My framework combines: ◻️ NLP Coaching ◻️ TimeLine Therapy® ◻️ Nervous System Reset (meditation, movement, calming body + mind) ◻️ Identity + Values Work ◻️ Confidence Rebuilding ◻️ Next Chapter Intention + Goal Setting I specialize in guiding women who feel lost, disconnected, or overwhelmed to:
My coaching style is 100% aimed at guiding you on a path back to your most content and fulfilled self. If You’re in a Life-Quake, Here’s Your Next Step:If this article feels like it was written for you, it's because this is exactly the work I do every day. You can take the first step toward clarity and reconnection here: You don’t have to navigate this chapter alone. Your next aligned, grounded, confident version of you already exists. Let’s help you meet her. JANEL BRIGGS
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Has Anyone Ever Doubted Your Potential?3/10/2025 Words and opinions can cut deep. Especially when they come from someone we admire, or someone in a position of authority. And sometimes, the words we hear in our younger and most formative years echo in our minds for years and even decades later. Maybe it was a comment you overheard someone say, or an opinion that was made about your capability. An offhand remark from a teacher, a family member, or even a boss that stuck like super-glue to your young mind's identity. And without realizing it, you’ve spent your whole life trying to prove them wrong. That was the story of my client, Heidi. When High Expectations Turn Into Self-Doubt On the outside, Heidi was the definition of “success”. She was a high-performing leader, in a fantastic role, valued by her organization and known to be a person who always strived to go above and beyond. But on the inside, her inner critic was screaming "you'll never be good enough" on loud speaker.
Heidi described it this way: 💭 “I’m placing pressure on myself to perform outside my already high capacity, worrying what others think, constantly overthinking things outside my control, and generally feeling like I’m not achieving - when those around me have praise for who I am and what I do.” Sound familiar? This is the reality for so many perfectionists and high-achievers. You push yourself to impossible standards to achieve many accomplishments - but instead of fueling confidence and pride, those expectations quietly fuel anxiety and burnout.  The Root Cause of the Lack in Confidence? A Two Decade Old Self-Limiting BeliefThrough our coaching together, we uncovered the deeper fear driving Heidi’s perfectionism and self-belief. It all traced back to ONE sentence she overheard someone in a position of authority say about her as a teenager: “She’s never going to amount to anything.” Imagine your younger self hearing those words. The impact can go one of two ways:
For Heidi, the shock, embarassment, hurt, shame and confusion were far too much for her young mind to process. As often happens, Heidi held an uncomfortable mix of BOTH impacts - driving achievement on the outside, while eroding confidence on the inside. What if they're right about me? It's probably true. If they believe it, then it must be right. Maybe I'll never amount to anything. What we uncovered together in coaching:Those words took root and became a self-limiting belief in Heidi's unconscious mind. Quietly shaping how she saw herself for years to come and the reason she was on a perpetual anxiety-burnout cycle in almost every job she held. Every achievement, every promotion, every late night working was, in some way, tied to proving that belief and that person wrong. Over time that person became her inner critic, the relentless reminder of not being enough, the constant shadow on her achievements. This is what limiting beliefs do:
The Transformation: From Perfectionism to Confidence After just 8 weeks of working together, Heidi experienced a huge shift. Through a powerful Timeline Therapy® process we released the old limiting belief and insecurities driving her perfectionism and reframed her relationship with success. Within weeks Heidi was:
Today, Heidi is thriving in a senior leadership role and serving on multiple boards, dedicating her expertise to companies and causes she’s truly passionate about. Not to prove anyone wrong, but because she believes in her own potential. How to Release the Pressure YourselfIf you’ve been carrying the weight of someone else’s words (or your own impossible standards) here’s where to start:
-Janel Briggs, Confidence & Mindset Coach  Ready to Reclaim Your Confidence?Heidi’s story is proof that you’re not defined by the doubts of others - or the impossible expectations you’ve placed on yourself.
If you’re ready to release the pressure, break free from old patterns and belief's that have been holding you back from your true potential, I’d love to support you. My 'University of You' mentoring program is now open for October enrollment.
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You’ve ticked all the boxes. Climbed the ladder with a steady flow of promotions. Secured the kind of salary and title others might envy. On paper, it’s a complete success story. Yet instead of fulfillment, you wake up with a dull ache in your chest, a quiet dread before every week begins. That blahhhh sense you’re just going through the motions. “Why am I not happy at this level of success?”You’ve done everything “right”: the late nights, the relentless projects, the sacrifices. From the outside, people assume you’ve got it all figured out. But here’s the paradox: the very achievements you worked so hard for no longer bring joy. They’ve somehow become an anchor, weighing you down. When Success Comes at a PriceFor many women I work with, the first signs of the Success Paradox sneak in quietly over time. It often starts with:
On paper, everything looks perfect. In reality? You’ve been running on empty for so long, it’s become the new normal.  Why High-Achieving Women Are Most at RiskPerfectionism plays a big role here. Many ambitious women were conditioned early on to equate worth = achievement. Somewhere along the way, work became more than just work. It became proof that we’re valuable, competent, and strong. But perfectionism has a hidden edge: it whispers that no matter how much you do, it’s never enough. That whisper grows louder with every promotion, every project, every pat on the back because now there’s even more pressure not to fail. Instead of celebrating wins, you move the goalpost and keep running. It’s no wonder so many women in their late 30s and early 40s begin to ask: Am I actually happy? Or just performing happiness for others? What I’ve Seen in 8 Years Coaching Women GloballyAcross Australia, Singapore, the U.S., London, and Dubai, I’ve coached over 500 women through burnout, perfectionism, and identity crises. Two common themes always show up:
For many, the turning point comes when a lifequake happens—a catalyst moment that sparks the question: Am I truly fulfilled here? That question is often the beginning of transformation. Three Truths About the Success Paradox1. Success without alignment feels empty If your values (freedom, creativity, connection, growth) don’t align with how you spend your time, success will always feel like sand slipping through your fingers. 2. Confidence is built, not bestowed External validation (promotions, titles, praise) can be fleeting and create dependency. Real confidence comes from silencing the inner critic and trusting your own voice. 3. Burnout is not a badge of honor You don’t have to destroy yourself to prove your worth. The most successful leaders I’ve coached are those who protect their energy, set boundaries, and create space for their whole identity to thrive. Breaking FreeThe Success Paradox is not a life sentence. In fact, it can be the wake-up call that shifts everything. When a client says, “I should be grateful for what I have, but deep down I’m not happy,” that’s the exact moment change becomes possible. Here’s where I recommend starting:
The good news here? You don’t need to wait for a breaking point. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through another burnout cycle, perfectionist loop, or imposter spiral. There is another way! I know, because I coach women into it every day. Women who now lead with clarity, confidence, and a sense of balance they never thought possible.  Your Turning Point👉 If the Success Paradox feels uncomfortably familiar, maybe this is your turning point. Coaching isn’t about adding more pressure - it’s about releasing it. It’s about having a trusted guide who can help you reconnect with yourself, your values, and the confident leader you’re meant to be. 💡 Book a coaching session with me here Janel Briggs
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Perfectionists don’t burn out because they’re lazy. And they don’t burn out because they can’t handle the workload or lack resilience. They burn out because they keep making the same hidden mistake on repeat throughout their careers: Believing that working harder will be "the thing" that finally silences their self-doubt. As a Confidence & Mindset Coach for high-achieving women (and a recovering perfectionist myself!), I see this perfectionism–burnout cycle constantly in my clients. Smart, capable women who already have full plates keep piling on more pressure. They believe if they just work harder, organize better, and get more in control, then the self-doubt will finally disappear. “If I just achieve more, I’ll feel better. When I get on top of everything, then this doubt will disappear.” It’s tempting to believe the answer is more effort. But sadly, true self-worth can’t be achieved through performance. No number of completed tasks, promotions, or achievements will ever silence that inner critic. Confidence and peace only come when you finally step off the treadmill of “do more, be more” and start building worth from a place of self-acceptance - not achievement. Why Hard Work Won’t Fix Perfectionism BurnoutWhen perfectionists feel the constant hum of “not good enough,” their first instinct is to double down on doing. That usually looks like:
But perfectionism isn’t a productivity issue. It’s not about time management or efficiency. Perfectionism is rooted in fear. And the harder you try to “fix, manage, or control” that fear by doing more, the louder it gets. That’s why so many perfectionists end up exhausted, overwhelmed, and questioning their worth. For many high-achievers, this often spirals into workaholism. Staying late, taking on more than anyone else, and wearing exhaustion like a badge of honor. It looks and feels like productivity, but at its core it’s really just fear running the show. Perfectionism Is Fueled by Fear, Not ProductivityPerfectionism wears the mask of hard work, but at its core it’s driven by hidden fears that fuel behaviors and push high-achievers straight into burnout:
If you’ve ever found yourself ticking every box and still going to bed feeling like you didn’t do enough… that’s not poor productivity. That’s perfectionism whispering, “Try harder. You’re still not enough.” It’s not a productivity problem. It’s a self-worth problem.
Like this topic? Head to Instagram to watch my latest reel The Shift That Changes EverythingThe turning point for perfectionists doesn’t come from another productivity hack, downloading a new goal-setting app, or committing to a 5-step morning routine. The real shift happens when you stop trying to fix yourself through hard work and start learning to:
Breaking Free From the Burnout CycleSo, what do you do instead? Here are three steps to start breaking the perfectionism–burnout cycle today:
When you stop chasing worth through overworking to prove you’re not the fear inside your head, you finally create space for confidence and peace. That’s when you break free from burnout and step into fearless living! Janel Briggs  Ready to Break the Cycle? If you’re ready to stop running in circles of overwork and burnout, I can help. Through my coaching programs, I guide high-achieving women to quiet their inner critic, overcome perfectionism, and finally feel enough. 👉 Work with me here
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Have you ever walked into the office (or opened your laptop at home) already carrying a silent checklist of how the day should go?
And then… reality happens. Deadlines slip. Your inbox fills with “urgent” requests. Someone misses a detail you never would have overlooked. Instead of feeling accomplished, you end the day frustrated, anxious, and irritated with the productivity level. This is the quiet trap so many of us (perfectionists!) fall into. Our own 'expectations' can be the one thing stealing our sense of contentment at work. When Expectations Clash with RealityI remember a client telling me about a new team she started managing, Janel, I don't even think I set the bar that high, but no one else seems to be able to live up to the standards I believe are necessary. And when they don’t, I feel super frustrated. Like what part of my direction or explanation didn't make sense to them? Why can't they step up? Maybe you know that feeling too. That sting of unmet expectations and you're view of how the team "should be performing" can spiral quickly:
But here’s the thing: our own high expectations of ourselves and our work ethic often don’t match the reality of what others can produce and achieve. You see, everyone brings different strengths, priorities, and working styles to the table. What feels like standard “baseline effort” to you might feel like “overachieving” or even "unachieveable" to someone else. And when we measure their performance against the ruler of our own perfectionist standards, disappointment is almost always guaranteed. A Mindset Shift from Expectations to StandardsSo, here’s what I tell my coaching clients who are stuck feeling frustrated with unmet expectations: there’s a huge difference between expectations and standards.
For example:
Expecting that they value precision and a sense of urgency. But, unfortunately not everyone is wired the same way. One colleague might thrive under pressure and move quickly, while another produces their best work when given more time and to work at a slower space to process. One team member might place a high value on attention to detail, double-checking every number and document before handing it over. Yet another might shine when brainstorming ideas or moving projects forward quickly, even if their work isn’t polished in the same way. Both approaches have value, but if your expectation is that everyone should perform exactly as you do, you’ll miss the unique strengths each person brings.
A standard says, “This is the level of quality I can commit to within my capabilities and values system”. The beauty of standards is that they inspire others without imposing unrealistic pressure. Knowing and accepting each person’s standard creates alignment rather than resentment. See the difference? Unless you have a team of perfectionists or high achievers in a carbon copy cut out of you one will leave you frustrated when reality falls short. The other will keep you grounded in what you can control. When you recognize what someone is capable of and how they naturally work best, you can set realistic expectations and meet them where they are. This not only reduces your frustration but also fosters stronger collaboration. Because you’re valuing the contribution they can give, instead of expecting they would show up in a different way. Perhaps you could think about a conversation you can have to clarify their strengths, values, and working style.
 Coaching Tips for Easing the Frustration of Unmet ExpectationsIf you’ve ever felt like your high expectations at work are stealing your joy, here are a few practices to try: 1. Notice the “shoulds" The moment you hear yourself thinking, “This should have gone differently” or “I should have done more, instead of relying on my team” pause. That’s expectation talking. Ask yourself: Is this realistic? Or am I holding onto a picture that doesn’t match reality? 2. Redefine success in the moment Instead of circling in perfectionism, aim for effective. Ask: What outcome would move this forward today? You’ll be amazed at how freeing it feels to release the impossible standard of needing perfection. 3. Share your standards clearly Communicate what matters to you: quality, respect, timeliness. Invite your colleagues to meet you there. Standards unite; expectations can often divide. 4. Reframe “failure” A project that takes longer than expected isn’t failure - it’s giving you feedback. Use it as data for how to adjust next time. This one shift can transform stress and anxiety into acceptance. 5. Offer yourself compassion Perfectionist's are often the hardest on themselves. Next time you miss your own mark, try saying: "I did my best with what I had today, and that is enough". Compassion softens the edges of expectation. If you’ve been wondering why work feels heavier than it should, it may not only be the excessive workload it may also be those high expectations killing your happiness. As a mindset coach, I’ve seen how quickly perfectionist women reclaim their energy and confidence when they shift from unrealistic expectations to healthy standards. It’s not about lowering the bar. It’s about setting the bar in a way that supports both your success and your well-being. What if instead of demanding perfection, you gave yourself permission to lead with clarity, kindness, and realistic standards? That shift doesn’t just change the way you work... it transforms the way you feel about work. Confidence grows. Joy returns. And balance becomes possible! Janel Briggs 🔹 If you’re ready to release the weight of impossible expectations and step into a more empowered way of leading, I’d love to support you. This is exactly the work I do with women in coaching - helping perfectionists find freedom, confidence, and a leadership style that feels authentic. Let’s connect and explore what’s possible for you.
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It takes a perfectionist to know a perfectionist. Yes, I admit I used to be one. From a young age I was ALWAYS obsessed with doing it “right”, frightfully scared to fail, and I continutally hit mental burnout (time and time again!) from my incessant need to control outcomes and re-do things a hundred times while trying to achieve the elusive perfection. Thankfully, I'm now 5 years into my 'recovery' for my perfectionism. So trust me when I say: this blog comes from personal experience and professional insight.  If you’re working for (or alongside) a perfectionist - and you’re NOT one yourself - it can feel draining, confusing, and sometimes like you’re never quite “good enough”.Working with a perfectionist can feel exhausting. Their high standards, constant push for the unachievable, and laser-focus on what’s missing (rather than what’s working!) can leave you second-guessing yourself or wondering if you’ll ever "do enough" to impress them. And if you’re not wired the same way - maybe you're someone who values flow over structure, progress over perfection, or prefers big picture thinking to detailed micro management, then the relationship can feel tense or stressful. But here’s the key insight I had to learn the hard way (that might change the game for you too): Perfectionism isn’t just about a person's need for control - it’s often rooted in an unconscious fear of failure, judgment, or critisim. Understanding this can help you stop taking things personally and start setting clear boundaries, communicating with more confidence, and creating an ease in your work relationships. The perfectionist’s inner narrative is often: “If I can control every detail, I can prevent failure. If I can stay across every task, I can ensure nothing goes wrong and I won't be judged or criticised.” It’s often a desperate need for control, in an attempt to quiet the fear but disguised as diligence. This is why so many perfectionists burnout in the workplace. There is a push-pull of always needing to do MORE. Here are five mindset shifts and practical strategies to help you work with a perfectionist to help you show up with more confidence to protect your peace in the working environment. 1. It’s Not Always About YouAs mentioned perfectionists are often driven by a deep fear or insecurity of being judged, failing, or letting someone down. Their meticulousness or over-correction isn’t a always necessarily a reflection of your value - it’s how they manage their own inner critic. This means:
If you're feeling triggered by any of the above... your best option is to reframe the situation: “I see what they're doing here. They’re trying to avoid risk, not trying to undermine me.” This shift in perspective can take some of the sting out of their feedback - and help you stay grounded in your own self-worth. 2. Ask for Clarity - Don’t Assume AnythingPerfectionists have high but often unspoken expectations. They might give broad direction but expect you to give them pixel-perfect outcomes. You don’t need to read their mind, but it's in your best interest to ask clear questions of specificially what they want/need up front (in dot point form!). Try asking:
The more clarity you get early on, the fewer revisions later and the more confident you’ll feel knowing you’re aligned doing (xyz) exactly as they outlined! 3. Don’t Absorb Their AnxietyIf you're naturally easygoing or flexible, you might find yourself absorbing a perfectionist’s pressure or urgency. Their energy can be intense and cause undue stress, especially under deadlines. The truth is: You don’t have to match their pace or tension to be effective. In fact, you’ll be even MORE effective when you lead as your authentic self. Hold your own internal rhythm. Breathe. Regroup. Get clarity. Stick to the way you work best. “I do my best work when I stay calm and centered. Even if they operate differently.” I can assure you the best outcomes do not come from anxious energy. Someone in the equation has to stay level headed and grounded. Perhaps you're most valuable gift is that you are not stuck in perfectionism spinning wheels with them! 4. Reflect Progress, Not PerfectionOne of the hardest things about working with a perfectionist? They often overlook progress in the pursuit of flawlessness outcomes. Sure, we all want success, but when every detail has to be perfect, it can feel like even if we're off by1% nothing is ever good enough. It can leave you feeling unseen, unappreciated, or like your efforts don’t count. And how will we ever learn and grow if anything other than 100% perfection is failure? You can help balance this by reflecting progress back to them. Try communicating like this:
You’re not asking for gold stars — you’re guiding their attention to what’s going well, and inviting constructive feedback instead of criticism. 5. Hold Your Boundaries - Know Your WorthPerfectionists sometimes overstep without realizing it — adding last-minute changes, asking for unnecessary tweaks, or expecting 110% MORE all the time. It can be incredibly frustrating and leave you feeling like no matter how much you give, it’s never quite enough. However, this is a way to maintain a collaborative relationship while protecting your time and energy. Try using language like:
This communicates that you’re engaged and professional — but also self-respecting with healthy boundaries. You Deserve to Feel Confident - Even in Tough Work DynamicsWorking with a perfectionist can test your patience, your mindset, and sometimes even your self-esteem! But you don’t have to change who you are to thrive. You just need the right tools and support to navigate it. Building real, lasting confidence at work isn’t about becoming louder or more assertive. It’s about knowing your value, communicating clearly, and learning how to stand steady in your strengths — even when others operate differently. -Janel Briggs  Ready to Level Up Your Confidence?If this resonated with you and you're looking for ways to stop shrinking yourself around different personalities at work to start owning your space... my 1:1 Confidence & Mindset Coaching is designed just for you.
Whether you’re navigating tricky work relationships, leading a team, or preparing for your next big step up, I’ll help you shift from self-doubt to unshakable self-confidence. 👉 Let’s work together to build the version of you who speaks up, stands tall, and leads with clarity and confidence. Book Your Free Discovery Call Today!
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The holiday season can be a time of joy—but also a source of stress for many professional women managing demanding careers and family commitments. Navigating holiday dynamics, whether at work or home, often brings pressure to meet expectations, resolve conflicts, and maintain harmony. However, what I've come to realise is that learning how to set clear boundaries CAN transform this experience! By managing your time and energy wisely (spending less time with people that drain you!) you can reduce stress, increase emotional resilience, and create space for meaningful experiences and more peaceful in your life. WHY HEALTH BOUNDARIES MATTERSetting boundaries isn’t about saying "no" to everything; it’s about saying "yes" to what aligns with your values, energy, and well-being. When you honor your own limits, you can show up more present and engaged in the moments that matter most. I used to fall into the trap of doing everything for everyone. I was the problem solver and caretaker of my family, as many women are. But without boundaries at this time of year I would be an anxious mess in the weeks leading up to Christmas, my memories of past Christmases that didnt live up to my expectations playing on repeat - affecting my sleep, energy and mood. What I've learned is that boundaries aren't about being closed off—they're about protecting your well-being so you can show up at your best, personally and professionally. They'll help you to conserve your time, energy, and mental well-being—allowing you to feel more grounded. The holiday season is notorious for its demands—extra events, financial pressures, emotional family dynamics, and the endless search for the perfect gift. When you don’t set boundaries, you risk spreading yourself too thin, leaving little room for the things that truly matter.  4 WAYS YOU CAN START SETTING HOLIDAY BOUNDARIES1. Prioritize Your Time and Energy It’s impossible to be everywhere and do everything FOR EVERYONE—so don’t try! Instead, decide what’s truly important to you this season. Is it family movie nights? Baking cookies with your kids? Or maybe just some quiet mornings to recharge?
2. Communicate Expectations Clearly (and Kindly!) Last week I wrote about the art of saying “no”! Setting boundaries requires open and honest communication with the people in your life.
To Family: “I’m excited to celebrate together, but I can’t host all of Christmas lunch this year. I would appreciate if everyone can contribute (either a dish, or cash towards food etc).” To Friends: “I’d love to join the holiday party, but I can only stay for a couple of hours due to other commitments.” To Your Boss: “I’m happy to wrap up key projects before the holidays, but I won’t be available after December 23rd as I’ll be offline spending time with my family.” Setting a Behavior Boundary: “I understand you have a lot to say about (x topic), but I won’t engage in conversations that feel disrespectful or critical. Please, let's keep it positive and supportive, otherwise I'm tapping out.” 3. Protect Your Mental and Emotional Energy As you know, family gatherings can bring joy—but also drama. It’s okay to limit your time with individuals who drain your energy or create tension.
4. Follow Through with Consistency Here's the reason why setting boundaries feels so hard, we KNOW that not everyone is going to like your boundaries. People may give you a snarky reply or talk behind your back. At the end of the day though, if they can't respect you and your wishes - then how much air time do they really deserve?? (yes, even if they are FAMILY!)
Your Peace, is your responsibility No one else is going to be looking for ways to bring you more peace. Only you can do that. Now, it may take some uncomfortable conversations and a little practice at following through. But, you are ALWAYS worth it!
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Well, the holiday season is here—and it's supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But let’s be real: it can also be one of the most EXHAUSTING times of the year!! Between work deadlines, social commitments, and family obligations, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s truly important... YOUR MENTAL HEALTH & WELLBEING! This Christmas, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. There is 1 thing that I started doing a few years back to save my sanity for Christmas. Each year I get BETTER and better at it the more I practice it. It does mean you might have to do things a little differently, but instead of succumbing to the pressure to “do it all” ... this year I want you to take a moment to pause, reflect, and focus on what matters most. Why Do We Overpack the Holiday Season? It’s a familiar story: you spend December scrambling to check every box on your to-do list. But why do we do this to ourselves? Research shows:
The result? Burnout before Christmas Day even arrives.  RELEASE THE PRESSURE ON YOURSELF! (please...) Here’s the radical idea I adopted a few years back: JUST SAY NO.
Let that sink in. And the world won’t fall apart if you don't volunteer OR postpone some catch-ups until January—or even February. And here's my best tip on how to set that boundary with kindness:
 I Think We Forget That We Need To Protect Our Most Precious Resource: OUR ENERGY! I Think We Forget That We Need To Protect Our Most Precious Resource: OUR ENERGY! When you reflect on what matters most at Christmas, women usually tell me it's being with FAMILY. If that resonates with you too - let me ask you then, do you want them to have "what's left of you?" or "the best of you" this year?? I spent TOO MANY years with dregs of energy left by December 24th. I learnt this the hard way. Your time and energy are the most important resource, and only you can guard them. 💡 Here are some practical tips from my "Holiday Stress Suvivial Kit" that will help you prioritize your mental health this holiday season:
Imagine: a Calmer, More Meaningful ChristmasImagine starting the new year not feeling drained, but refreshed and content. That’s what prioritizing your mental health this Christmas can do for you. By guarding your energy, setting boundaries, and letting go of unnecessary pressures, you’re not just surviving the holidays—you’re thriving through them. So, take a deep breath, step back, and make time for what’s truly important: your well-being. After all, a happier, healthier YOU is the greatest gift you can give yourself—and everyone around you.  About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across the globe in overcoming their professional anxieties, imposter syndrome, fears and insecurities to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching is about empowering women to rise above self-doubt and become fearless leaders in the pursuit of life and career success! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram. 
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Answer this for me:
How does it feel when you don’t have a million things to juggle or there are zero projects on your plate? When big life transitions happens and you are actually unable to work, or the kids don’t need as much of your time anymore - and you are perhaps stuck without anything to keep you “busy” so to speak. If you're anything like me, it probably feels empty. With the mental chatter and a sense of worthlessness creeping in. These are the same questions I had to ask myself many times when I moved from corporate career to becoming a business owner, and later while starting over as an expat in two countries when there is:
As women we are somehow wired to believe that “busy and being productive IS our value estimate”. From a young age, people are taught to link their value to external accomplishments, like academic grades, career success, or financial gains. Plus this "hustle culture" promotes the idea that the more you do and achieve, the more valuable and successful you are. And don’t get me wrong, we want ambitious, strong high achieving women in this world! But THIS can also foster the belief that worth is EARNED... rather than inherent. Your Worth Isn’t in Your To-Do List—Here’s Why This Needs to Change. In this short video coaching vlog, I'll unpack why this mindset can be so damaging, especially for high-achieving women! And I share practical ways you can to break free from the constant pressure to "do more". I'll also touch on:
I think you'll love this coaching topic, if you've ever experienced:
You'll gain insight into you value beyond what you accomplish. My belief is that your worth isn't defined by what you do - it's who you! Your self-worth isn’t a by-product of how much you do and achieve - it's in you showing up authentically YOU ~ JB  About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across the globe in overcoming their professional anxieties, imposter syndrome, fears and insecurities to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching is about empowering women to rise above self-doubt and become fearless leaders in the pursuit of life and career success! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram. Becoming FEARLESS - Digital Resources! |
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