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Setting Healthy Holiday Boundaries: Protecting Your Peace

17/12/2024

 
The holiday season can be a time of joy—but also a source of stress for many professional women managing demanding careers and family commitments.

Navigating holiday dynamics, whether at work or home, often brings pressure to meet expectations, resolve conflicts, and maintain harmony.

However, what I've come to realise is that learning how to set clear boundaries CAN transform this experience!

By managing your time and energy wisely (spending less time with people that drain you!) you can reduce stress, increase emotional resilience, and create space for meaningful experiences and more peaceful in your life.

WHY HEALTH BOUNDARIES MATTER

Setting boundaries isn’t about saying "no" to everything; it’s about saying "yes" to what aligns with your values, energy, and well-being. When you honor your own limits, you can show up more present and engaged in the moments that matter most.

I used to fall into the trap of doing everything for everyone. I was the problem solver and caretaker of my family, as many women are. But without boundaries at this time of year I would be an anxious mess in the weeks leading up to Christmas, my memories of past Christmases that didnt live up to my expectations playing on repeat - affecting my sleep, energy and mood. 

What I've learned is that boundaries aren't about being closed off—they're about protecting your well-being so you can show up at your best, personally and professionally. They'll help you to conserve your time, energy, and mental well-being—allowing you to feel more grounded.

The holiday season is notorious for its demands—extra events, financial pressures, emotional family dynamics, and the endless search for the perfect gift. When you don’t set boundaries, you risk spreading yourself too thin, leaving little room for the things that truly matter.
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4 WAYS YOU CAN START SETTING HOLIDAY BOUNDARIES

​1. Prioritize Your Time and Energy
 
It’s impossible to be everywhere and do everything FOR EVERYONE—so don’t try! Instead, decide what’s truly important to you this season. Is it family movie nights? Baking cookies with your kids? Or maybe just some quiet mornings to recharge?

  • Action Tip: Make a list of your holiday “must-haves” and focus on these. Anything that doesn’t align with your priorities can be politely declined.
 
2. Communicate Expectations Clearly (and Kindly!)

Last week I wrote about the art of saying “no”! Setting boundaries requires open and honest communication with the people in your life. 
  • Action Tip: Whether it’s your boss, family, or friends, clearly articulate what you can and cannot commit to this season. AND what expectations you have, OR behaviour you will or will not allow.

To Family:

“I’m excited to celebrate together, but I can’t host all of Christmas lunch this year. I would appreciate if everyone can contribute (either a dish, or cash towards food etc).”

To Friends:

“I’d love to join the holiday party, but I can only stay for a couple of hours due to other commitments.”

To Your Boss:

“I’m happy to wrap up key projects before the holidays, but I won’t be available after December 23rd as I’ll be offline spending time with my family.”

Setting a Behavior Boundary:

“I understand you have a lot to say about (x topic), but I won’t engage in conversations that feel disrespectful or critical. Please, let's keep it positive and supportive, otherwise I'm tapping out.”

3. Protect Your Mental and Emotional Energy
 
As you know, family gatherings can bring joy—but also drama. It’s okay to limit your time with individuals who drain your energy or create tension.

  • Action Tip: Plan visits for shorter durations or choose neutral venues where you feel more at ease. If the conversation takes a negative turn, excuse yourself for a moment, get outside take a few deep breaths and some time to reset.
 
4. Follow Through with Consistency

Here's the reason why setting boundaries feels so hard, we KNOW that not everyone is going to like your boundaries. People may give you a snarky reply or talk behind your back. At the end of the day though, if they can't respect you and your wishes - then how much air time do they really deserve?? (yes, even if they are FAMILY!)
  • Action Tip: Be consistent in your message and direct to the point, no need to over explain. Some people may push back, they may not reply, or could try you  again. Remember their reaction isn't your responsibility. 

Your Peace, is your responsibility

No one else is going to be looking for ways to bring you more peace. Only you can do that. Now, it may take some uncomfortable conversations and a little practice at following through. But, you are ALWAYS worth it!  

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​About the Author: 
Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across the globe in overcoming their professional anxieties, imposter syndrome, fears and insecurities to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching is about empowering women to rise above self-doubt and become fearless leaders in the pursuit of life and career success! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

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My Secret to Saving Your Sanity for Christmas

11/12/2024

 
Well, the holiday season is here—and it's supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and celebration.

But let’s be real: it can also be one of the most EXHAUSTING times of the year!!

Between work deadlines, social commitments, and family obligations, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s truly important...

YOUR MENTAL HEALTH & WELLBEING!

This Christmas, I'm going to let you in on a little secret.

There is 1 thing that I started doing a few years back to save my sanity for Christmas.

Each year I get BETTER and better at it the more I practice it.

​It does mean you might have to do things a little differently, but instead of succumbing to the pressure to “do it all” ... this year I want you to take a moment to pause, reflect, and focus on what matters most.
​

Why Do We Overpack the Holiday Season?

It’s a familiar story: you spend December scrambling to check every box on your to-do list. But why do we do this to ourselves? Research shows:
​
  • 88% of people find the holiday season stressful, according to a study by the American Psychological Association (APA).
  • 69% feel the need to balance work deadlines with holiday preparations, leading to increased anxiety.
  • Social obligations add to the load, with 43% of adults feeling pressured to attend gatherings they don’t actually want to go to.

​The result? Burnout before Christmas Day even arrives.
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RELEASE THE PRESSURE ON YOURSELF! (please...)

Here’s the radical idea I adopted a few years back: 

JUST SAY NO.

  • You don’t have to see everyone in December.
  • You don't have to put your hand up and volunteer for something at every group you're in.
  • You def don't have to lay guilt on yourself for taking a step back this year to just breathe.

Let that sink in.


And the world won’t fall apart if you don't volunteer OR postpone some catch-ups until January—or even February.

And here's my best tip on  how to set that boundary with kindness: 

  • Be honest: “I would love to see you/help out, but I’m at capacity right now. Can we do this in January when life feels a little less overwhelming?” 
  • Reframe it: "January is often a calmer month work wise for me and a better time for me for this (project/event/catch up). Can we post-pone until the new year?"
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I Think We Forget That We Need To Protect Our Most Precious Resource: OUR ENERGY!

I Think We Forget That We Need To Protect Our Most Precious Resource: OUR ENERGY! 

When you reflect on what matters most at Christmas, women usually tell me it's being with FAMILY.

If that resonates with you too - let me ask you then, do you want them to have "what's left of you?" or "the best of you" this year??

I spent TOO MANY years with dregs of energy left by December 24th. I learnt this the hard way.

Your time and energy are the most important resource, and only you can guard them.

💡 Here are some practical tips from my "Holiday Stress Suvivial Kit" that will help you prioritize your mental health this holiday season: 
​
  1. Say “No” More Often
    Give yourself permission to decline invitations or obligations that don’t serve you. Remember, a polite “no” now is better than resentment later. 
  2. Schedule Downtime
    Block out time in your calendar for rest and self-care. Treat it like any other important commitment—it’s non-negotiable. 
  3. Simplify Gift-Giving
    If shopping stresses you out, consider alternatives like donations, experiences, or simple heartfelt notes. A survey by Bankrate revealed that 45% of us feel financial stress during the holidays, so simplifying can ease more than just your mental load. 
  4. Focus on What Brings Joy - Whether it's decorating, singing carols, baking with the kids, or a quiet night in with loved ones - lean into activities that nourish your soul rather than drain it!  

Imagine: a Calmer, More Meaningful Christmas

​Imagine starting the new year not feeling drained, but refreshed and content.

​That’s what prioritizing your mental health this Christmas can do for you. By guarding your energy, setting boundaries, and letting go of unnecessary pressures, you’re not just surviving the holidays—you’re thriving through them.

​So, take a deep breath, step back, and make time for what’s truly important: your well-being. After all, a happier, healthier YOU is the greatest gift you can give yourself—and everyone around you.

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About the Author: 
Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across the globe in overcoming their professional anxieties, imposter syndrome, fears and insecurities to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching is about empowering women to rise above self-doubt and become fearless leaders in the pursuit of life and career success! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.


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When Christmas Isn't Sparking JOY

18/12/2023

 
This time of year can bring up big emotions for people. 

Not only do we have the overwhelming rush to the end of year finish line, but we also have so much added stress with “Christmas is coming”. 

I want you to know that if you are not joyously cruising into Christmas and the end of year, it’s OK.
You are not alone.  
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You're not a bad person or the “Christmas Grinch”.  ​

​You’re probably just extremely overwhelmed, burnt out, beyond tired and perhaps at capacity with everyone and everything!

Christmas and the new year often brings up anxiety!  

I know this feeling. I spent a few years of my life dreading Christmas day and  the stress that comes from juggling “family relationships" and having to “act normal” when I felt way less than normal.  

It’s plain hard to be joyful when your mind feels scrambled and you've got zero energy left in the tank.  
​
Not to mention that pressure of staring down the road to 2024 … thinking what am I doing with my life? Why am I still so far away from where I should be? And how the hell am I going grin and bear it and avoid these questions from people at all those Christmas parties?! 
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If you resonate with any of this, here is an approach for you

​If you resonate with any of this, here is an approach for you:

Honour your feelings. 
 
It’s OK to be feeling this way, there are many other who feel the same right now too but probably aren't talking about it.
There’s no doubt you’ve been juggling a lot this year and likely just need time and space to process your thoughts, feelings and emotions.  

It’s ok to say No. 
 
I remember one year when my family asked me to host Christmas Day lunch and I was struggling with my mental health. My anxiety immediately triggered at the thought of seeing everyone in my home roll up with Esky’s full of alcohol and drinking all day.
I knew that my head and nervous system could not handle any alcohol fueled arguments or stress.  
 
So, with the help of my mentor I crafted some words to create a boundary that honoured my feelings. I wrote to each family member and told them I would host, but if it was at my house, it would be an alcohol-free day. They agreed, respected my wishes and came along. They ate the food, opened presents, left early and went on to be merry somewhere else!
By all accounts for me it was a GREAT DAY. Zero anxiety, and lots of laughs. 

Focus on self-care.    

Perhaps this is what your holiday break is about, a time for rest and recharge rather than all the Christmas ‘tis. Less giving energy out, more recouping energy in. Do things that bring you comfort and relaxation.

You don’t have to have it all figured out by December 31st.  

In actual fact December 31 is just another day in the calendar. Take a breath and release the pressure. Everything will work itself out in time. Go slow and be kind to yourself.  Ande let this be your reminder to take a breather. You can and you will get to that end of year finish line. 

 
And please take care out there, if you're stressed and emotions are high remember that there are many others that are too. 

All the best,
​JB.

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​About the Author: 

Janel Briggs is an Author, Mindset Coach, Practitioner of NLP and Timeline Therapy on a mission to support women across the world in overcoming their  anxiety - personal insecurities and professional fears - to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching aims to help you fearlessly elevate your life and career, and more importantly the relationship you have with yourself! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.

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Managing 'Hangxiety' and Christmas Cheers

4/12/2023

 
‘Tis the season! 

​As we launch into the festive season, the joy of celebrations and increased social events often intertwines with gatherings that involve a bit of indulgence – food, alcohol, merriment - all the things!  

However, I know for some, the aftermath of these merry nights can lead to a what we call 'hangxiety' - a combination of hangover symptoms and heightened anxiety.

URGH, awful.  
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​If you’ve ever found yourself waking up feeling on-edge, super anxious, worrying about something you might have said or done after a night out of fun and drinking, rest assured - you're not alone. 
​
'Hangxiety' is a common experience shared by many women, so I want to help you understand the cause better to so you can manage through it and breathe easier this holiday season!
​

Our Body + Alcohol 

The science behind 'hangxiety' is rooted in the intricate workings of our brains when alcohol is consumed: 
​
  • Alcohol is actually a central nervous system depressant that causes the brain activity to slow down.  
 
  • Initially, the effects of alcohol in our body brings on feelings of relaxation and ease, we feel happy and less inhibited. GREAT for those merry social situations! 
 
  • As the night progresses though and during sleep the alcohol in our body begins to wear off, and the brain goes into action to restore its chemical equilibrium.  
 
  • This process is called a “glutamine rebound” a bio-chemical reaction that reduces calmness and increases glutamate to restore “normal operation”. The body going into this ‘quick fix me response’ is the exact thing that heightens feelings of anxiety when we wake up in the morning!
 
  • Alcohol is also a massive sleep disruptor! Studies tell us that a lack of deep sleep = anxiety is 30% more likely to trigger!! 
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​If you’re interested in learning about how alcohol + sleep affect  anxiety I cover this topic in detail in my new book “Becoming Fearless” – The Complete Guide to Anxiety Relief  along with 12+ anxiety relief tools!

Women vs Men’s 'Hangxiety'

Women tend to metabolise alcohol differently to men due to differences in body composition and our enzyme levels. This can result in a quicker rise in blood alcohol concentration while drinking and intensify both the initial “calming effects” and subsequent “glutamine rebound” = anxiety. 
​
Women who are already prone to anxiety are more susceptible to experiencing intensified 'hangxiety' after drinking. Reason being - our body’s anxiety alarm system is super in tune with hormone fluctuations and likely in a pattern of triggering to negative or worried thoughts!  
​

How to Cope with Post-Drinking Anxiety 

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​The duration of the ‘hangxiety’ feeling will vary person to person, typically peaking the day after and lasting up to 24 hours or longer, depending on factors like how much alcohol you drank and physical/emotional/mental conditions (aka if you’re in a high stress period/already anxious mindset then look out - symptoms will be intensified!).  

Waking up with fragmented memories from the previous night can also contribute to post-drinking stress of course.  

Dealing with 'hangxiety' requires a high level of self-compassion. This is where you need to remind yourself -


  • You are not going crazy, you’ve done nothing wrong 
​
  • No one hates you, you’re NOT an embarrassment 
​
  • There is a bio-chemical reaction happening in your body while it processes last night’s alcohol that’s causing you to feel anxious 
​
  • Everything will be ok again in 24 hours, drink some water and sleep it off
​
  • You’ll be ok, this won't last forever​ ​

Do something to distract and relax your mind, such as watching a favourite show or practicing mindfulness through meditation, aids in easing 'hangxiety.' And avoid consuming more alcohol or stimulant’s like coffee, which can just exacerbate anxiety. 
​

‘Hangxiety’ Prevention 

If you want to prevent 'hangxiety' it will involvessome moderation and mindful drinking and I also believe assessing where you’re at emotionally and mentally before you drink is key.  

  • Current high level stress/negative emotions = more intense ‘hangxiety’. 
​
  • Limiting your alcohol consumption during social events, can notably diminish its likelihood.  
​
  • Eat a good meal prior to drinking, don’t expect there will ever be enough canapes to go around at a work event! 
​
  • If you’re at an event and booze is free-flowing, perhaps telling the waiter to not fill up your glass until it’s empty so you can keep track.
​
  • Drink water in between, stay hydrated. If you feel pressure from 'not drinking' ask yourself - "what's more important? Me drinking now, or not having hangxiety tomorrow?"
​
  • And if you’re already feeling anxious - avoiding alcohol all together is the best action 😉

​By understanding how the body works and the triggers, and implementing a few preventive measures and coping strategies, I hope 'hangxiety' won’t overshadow this year’s festive cheer for you! 


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​About the Author: 

Janel Briggs is an Author, Mindset Coach, Practitioner of NLP and Timeline Therapy on a mission to support women across the world in overcoming their  anxiety - personal insecurities and professional fears - to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching aims to help you fearlessly elevate your life and career, and more importantly the relationship you have with yourself! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.
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10 Tips to Manage Holiday Anxiety (and Enjoy Christmas)

1/12/2022

 
Holidays are supposed to be a time for joy and celebration. But for many people, the holidays can also be stressful and anxiety-inducing. The good news is that there are plenty of things you can do to manage your holiday stress and anxiety, so it doesn't prevent you from enjoying yourself with family and friends! 

1. Keep Your Regular Routine

Holiday stress can take over your life pretty easily, and if you're not careful, it can send you into an anxiety spin as we set aside all the good habits and things we know are good for us, while making time for the increased work and social commitments.

Don't let the “busy” of the holidays season send you off-course though, your habits are what will keep you GROUNDED in the chaos. Keep up with your regular routine as much as possible.

If you're used to going for a walk or exercising a few times a week, find a way to protect that “you time” at all costs. We always have to say no to something, don’t let it be the things you fill your energy cup with.

And if you want to know how to stay feeling calm and more relaxed - on Christmas morning while everyone else sleeps in, get up early and go for a walk or run outside to clear your mind before the big day!

2. Practice Self-Care

When it comes to self-care, there's no one size fits all approach. Be kind to yourself and listen to your body. If your calendar looks manic with events, block at least 1 or 2 nights at home with NO plans so you can pre-plan some downtime (you’ll thank me for it later!).

Take time for yourself, eat well, and prioritise getting enough sleep—these things will help you feel more rested and energised during these hectic weeks leading up to end of year.

Self-care is also being aware of mentally what you are consuming. If you find yourself staying up late watching TV to “zone out” just do yourself a favour and GO TO BED. Sleep is so much better for you than Netflix.

Or if scrolling social media seeing everyone else’s perfectly curated Christmas tree’s and happy family snaps is making you anxious (or just plain sad and overwhelmed), consider taking a break socials.
Wouldn’t it be amazing to hit the finish line well rested and some mental capacity to enjoy the festivities?

3. Make a Plan and Stay Flexible

If you are a natural planner and organiser that’s great, my suggestion then is to stay flexible. Rigid black and white thinking and “only one way to do this” mentality has caused many a family argument during the holidays.

If you can be flexible in your approach to everything, then you will be less likely to get stressed out by the things that come up.

Aunty Janice could be right, she could well have the stuffing recipe out there – it doesn’t mean yours is any less - you of course could be right too. There are always multiple ways of doing a single thing.
The person with the most flexibility in this situation is going to be the master of their own emotions and have the most fun. Who wants to be held back in judgement about something a simple as a stuffing recipe?! Not me. Janice – do your thing.

4. Don't Be Afraid to Say "No"

You probably like to get involved in everything; you may even have FOMO at times when you don’t have a finger in every pie. But setting healthy boundaries for your time is VERY important at this time of year.

We do not want to take any held resentments into the new year! So, don't let others pressure you into doing things you don't want to do. It is not your job to be everywhere at once and make everyone happy. Saying no is necessary and healthy!

If you're feeling overwhelmed by all the holiday activities on your plate, then ask for help or simply decline an invitation altogether. It's okay, people can respect your decisions just as much as they expect others will respect theirs.

5. Delegate Like a Boss

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, then it’s time to delegate. You do not have to do it all. Remember the saying “Many hands make light work”. People also actually like to help and feel needed, so delegate. Get everyone involved so you don’t feel overburdened by the work that needs to get done.
 
Everyone knows you can do it all, but you may kill every last bit of energy you have in the process!  

6. Let it Be

If you find yourself stuck worrying and pre-empting about all the WHAT IFs of Christmas Day or holiday parties - who’s coming, whether everyone will get along, who will drink to much, or say too much, or start a difficult conversation. This thought process will only ever bring you stress and anxiety, as you cannot control the outcomes of other people.

Let it be. What is going to happen will happen, no matter whether you spend 25 days worrying about what will happen.

Instead, perhaps think about why you are spending time with the people who are important to you and what the highlights of this holiday season are going to be.

And make a game plan, if something does go pear shaped at any event you can take some time out for yourself—go for a walk or listen to some music to regroup.

7. Focus on Gratitude

One of the most effective ways to manage holiday anxiety is to focus on gratitude. By being grateful for what you already have, it helps your mind stay in the present moment instead of way out to far in the future stuck on worry.
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You will start feeling less stressed about things that don't matter. Gratitude helps you appreciate the good things in your life, so it's a great way of getting into a more positive mindset.

Once you make it a habit, it'll become second nature and help you feel less stressed through any situation—even if something stressful does happen!

8. Know the Things You Can Control

You can control your energy level, how much sleep you get, what you are eating and drinking, your mindset, your time and your own personal happiness.
You cannot control anyone else, and you are also not 100% responsible for everyone else’s happiness.
When things seem out of control, reassess and reassure yourself that you are doing your best and that this is enough. If it turns out that something did not go perfectly, then accept it and release it!

9. Remember to Have Fun

Let the stress go and remember the holidays are for you to have fun too. Everything will get done that needs to get done. Connect, be present in the little moments and enjoy it. You deserve it, its been a big few years. What is it all for, if it’s not for having fun with the people we love?

10. Ask for Help  

Finally, don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. If it’s not fun and everything is too much then please know you don’t have to go through this stress alone. Reach out to a friend, a family member or a professional for support. You deserve much love, peace and joy this time of year :)

Wishing you all the best
Janel Briggs

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​About the Author:
 Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free!
 Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.


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The Holidays are Here… Let’s Stop the Hustle

23/12/2021

 
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With December here, work, family and friend get togethers are back on.

We’re eating out again, attending parties, and even going shopping in real stores.

December is always a busy time of year, and 2021 perhaps more so given that many of us spent weeks in lockdowns and can’t wait to see people in real life (not that we didn’t love those zoom meetings…).

But between year-end festivities and summer holidays, we’re also finalising presents, tying up loose ends, finishing projects, and probably planning for 2022 as well.

And the worst part? All this busyness and hustle and go-go-go is (dare I say it), “normal” and often even glorified.

So, if you’re like most women I know and coach, the busyness and hustle you normally feel is likely really, really ramping up this year.

Now to be honest, “hustle” is not one of my favourite words, but (unfortunately) it describes what most women can relate to.

One definition of hustle is to “proceed or work rapidly or energetically”. This almost sounds like a good thing doesn’t it? And perhaps that’s why many have come to see it that way, but is it?
Never before has any other generation lived as fast a paced lifestyle where being “busy” and “hustling” are actually promoted, accepted, and rewarded.

I see part of the issue is that we can get almost anything we want on demand through our phones, tablets, and laptops.

Whatever we want to know, learn, plan, or look up is at our fingertips 24/7. Podcasts, YouTube, social media, news outlets, magazines, and almost every book ever written is all there with us. And let’s not forget the text messages, phone calls, voice messages, and emails.

When does it stop?

When do we turn off, unplug, or tap out from the noise and give ourselves a break?

In fact, you’ve probably been going so hard that you hardly take the time to move, nourish, enjoy, and rest the entire day.

Why? Because there’s SO MUCH TO DO!

And we’re being validated for this by society, our colleagues, our bosses, and even sometimes our friends and family.

This busyness and hustle have almost become badges of honour.

Where productivity, busyness, and hustle equal feeling and being valued.

There’s a quote I love by author Michael Gunger that says, “Burnout is literally what happens when you avoid being human for too long.”, and if we’re busy, hustling, pushing, striving, and going ALL THE TIME, then it’s almost inevitable that burnout will come.

Now don’t get me wrong, part of this drive is because we want to be the BEST version of ourselves.

We want to improve, challenge ourselves, and keep learning and growing.

And I love that and get it. I’m a personal development junkie!

We want to achieve success and have an incredible career where we feel fulfilled, create impact, are valued, and feel motivated to reach our goals and dreams. 
 
We want to have an abundance of time for ourselves and our families.
For the projects, sports and hobbies we enjoy.

We also want loving relationships and deep soulful friendships, which is amazing. 
 
And while I’m a firm believer that you can do absolutely ANYTHING, and that you CAN achieve it ALL, the reality is that you just can’t do EVERYTHING all at once. The more you hustle for these things the further away they’re likely to get.
 
So this year, let’s stop.
Stop being so “busy”.
Stop the relentless “hustle”.
 
Let’s take the time to stop, pause, and say no, or maybe, or not now, or some other time.
Prioritise your time, energy, health and wellbeing.
Slow down and take stock.
Fill your own cup first.
 
Plan for breaks, holidays, good times, and summer vibes.
Stop carrying your phone everywhere, and most importantly, stop constantly checking it.
Put auto-respond on your emails.
Set you calendar, availability, and voicemail to away.
Shut down the tabs, the browsers, the documents, and the spreadsheets.
 
And if you do have to do work, slow it down.

Take advantage of most people being on holidays.
Cancel your regularly scheduled meetings and avoid making new ones.
Keep your calendar clear so you can focus on “big picture” work of reflecting on the year and planning for the next.
 
While hustle might be the “norm” for most, it doesn’t have to be.
We can change it.

I want you to thrive, not merely survive.
I want you to feel confident and comfortable, stress and anxiety free (or at least reduced!).
I want you to feel in control of your mindset, goals, and what’s coming up next.
 
To help you with this, be sure to subscribe to my blog above, and check out my 1:1 coaching programs, 2022 intake begins in early January.
 
I’m here to help and here to remind you that perhaps the holidays are the perfect time to stop the hustle and truly enjoy the season.
 
Wishing you a happy and hustle-free holidays!
~ JB
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It’s the Multi-Tasking Time of the Year

20/12/2021

 
At any given day, I bet you’re juggling 10 or more things at once. You’re thinking about work, home life, pets, children, friendships, family, and more.

Then December comes along and BANG, now you’re juggling all of the above PLUS present buying, holiday planning, catch ups, work celebrations, year end reflections, new year planning, etc…

With all of this added pressure (from ourselves and society), we may feel like multi-tasking is not just the best way to handle things, it’s also the only way.

Well, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but it’s not.

While a small percentage of the population (2% according to Forbes magazine in 2017) are good at multi-tasking, for the rest of us, constantly switching between tasks and attempting to multi-task actually decreases our productivity by up to 40%.

See when we’re multi-tasking, while it may feel like we’re working faster and efficiently, we’re actually more likely just spinning our wheels, never really moving forward. We’re producing less than stellar decisions, outputs, and work. We forget what we were doing, where we’re at, and sometimes if we’ve even finished the tasks we’re trying to work through!

We’ve got tabs open on our laptops.
Links saved in our browsers.
Lists all over the place.
Scraps of paper with random notes on them.

We’re also less able to filter out irrelevant information and decrease distractions, meaning we often make mistakes which means going back and redoing the work we thought we’d completed.
In addition to this, multi-tasking also leads to:
  • Mental exhaustion
  • Physical exhaustion
  • Brian fog
  • Memory issues
  • Frustration
  • Outbursts
  • Decision paralyses
  • Increased caffeine reliance
  • Mindless eating and snacking

Are you getting a clearer picture of why multi-tasking really isn’t ideal?

Yes? Good.
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Now I know it might sound like the complete opposite of what you want to do, but introducing even a few of the suggestions below will go a long way in decreasing your multi-tasking habits and increase your productivity and the quality of everything you do.
​
1. Focus on one thing at a time.
If you’re finishing up a report, focus on the report. Don’t click on browsers to figure out what time the shopping centres close so you can stop in after work.
 
2. Be present with whatever task you’re doing…
How can you possibly write a heartfelt Christmas card when your mind is thinking about the email you need to send to your supervisor? Write the card.
 
3. …. and THEN move on to the next one
With the card written and tucked in its envelope, now you can write up that email and give it your full attention.
 
4. Commit to “Do Not Disturb” time
It’s hard to ignore all the notifications popping up all day, so let your device do it for you. Either pause, turn off, or set your “Do Not Disturb” so you can really concentrate.
 
5. Create time blocks
Whether these are in 20minute windows or more or less, set your alarm or timer so you can stick to the task at hand (rather than bouncing from task to task) knowing that your next time block will be focussed on that task.
 
6. Shift your “big projects” to earlier in the day.
Most people work best in the mornings before decision fatigue and interruptions have kicked in, so carve out this time (by using Do Not Disturb and time blocks) to work on those bigger projects.

Here are three more important ways to reduce multi-tasking are to simplify our decision making so we don’t end up with decision fatigue.

  1. Especially this month, really try and stick to a regular daily routine. This constant will help ground you when life seems all to hectic and ensure nothing gets forgotten.
  2. Meal plan for the day, week, and especially any socialising where you need to bring food. Having this sorted ahead of time will free you up to focus on what’s in front of you.
  3. Simplify your wardrobe by wearing a similar outfit each day or planning your outfit the day before. By doing this ahead (especially around special occasions), you’re not rushing around prepping, wrapping, and trying to get yourself ready and out the door while encouraging the kids to do the same!

For myself and my clients, I find the tips and tricks above go a long way in decreasing our multi-tasking and decision fatigue.

I want to enjoy this time of year, and want you to do the same, so let’s choose even one of the suggestions above and really commit to it.

Let’s stop multi-tasking and focus on the task at hand.

As always, I’m here to help with these and other ways to get you thriving, so be sure to subscribe to my blog above, and if you’re really keen, book in a here so we can see which of my coaching for programs might be best serve you.

Take care
JB
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Christmas Anxiety: 4 Tips for handling FAMILY Stress

20/12/2019

 
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Christmas: A "magical" time of year...
(until your family comes together!)

If you didn't grow up in the "perfect family" dynamic (aka the happy Brady Bunch) and your family can be a little "lively", especially after a few drinks, then Christmas can be a tense occasion. 

Feelings of worry start to come up as we think about everyone coming together.

Stress from not knowing how it will play out. Will everyone get along? Will someone start an argument? Will someone drink too much? Or... will everyone place nice? 

Because "it's Christmas" we gather with our family and extended family - who we probably don't often see that much, and let's face it, sometimes don't have a lot in common. Some of these people we may not even share the same values with.

Family members often bring past history and "junk" that they have held onto or the generations before have been harbouring with them. Mix in some alcohol and... bang ANYTHING can happen!

Everyone seems to have an opinion after a few drinks - don't they?

If you are hosting the get-together yourself you've also got the added stress of cooking, cleaning, gifting and keeping the peace to put on a great day.

"Will everyone get along? Will he/she behave themselves? Will they like the food (that's my biggest fear being a so/so cook!)? What will they think/say about this?"

Eeeeek, so much to overthink about, right?!

My friends at Al-Anon, a support group for the families of Alcoholics, shared with me that setting healthy boundaries during the Christmas period, both for yourself and other people who might trigger you – is a good way to keep calm.

#1 – Limit Alcohol on the Day (Yes, it is possible!)
If you are hosting Christmas as your place and maybe you are worried about alcohol fueling the fire in some people… then you actually have every right within the walls of your house to ask people to not bring alcohol (gasp I know!).

This may sound drastic and a little overwhelming but let me ask you – what’s worse? An anger fueled drunken argument that ruins the day, or a few people getting their nose out of joint?
  • You don't have to ask them in person. It is as easy as sending a text message prior kindly asking them to refrain from BYO.
  • If these people love you, then they will respect your wishes. If they don’t respect your wishes on the day then maybe ask yourself "what is the most important thing?"
  • It may seem like a far fetched idea, but this boundary is achievable. I've used it before and can tell you from my own experience it was a wonderful meal together, one of the best on record
  • Or, opt to drive to a family event - so you can make an exit if you want to

#2 – Move Away from Negativity
If you find yourself sitting around family where the conversation is spiraling into topics that you don’t want to listen to, or you feel will trigger you then I want you to know that you have a option.

To move away and NOT engage in the negativity.

You can stay listening and get dragged into it, consumed by the problems and drama letting your anxiety levels sky rocket and zap your energy.

OR - you can stand up and quietly excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, check on the kids, play with the dog, help in the kitchen.

Anything to move away from the conversation and - TAKE A BREAK.

It doesn't mean you have to walk off in a blaze "I'm not listening to this!". You don’t have to storm off or cause a scene. You can quietly and kindly move away from the negativity and energy that you know will not serve you.  Take 5 deep breaths of really amazing fresh air and clear your mind.

Remember YOU don't have to get involved in any conversation that doesn't serve you!

#3 HAVE AN EXIT PLAN
If you know from past years that the event is likely to get rowdy then plan ahead and set expectations early. “I can only stay for 1 drink actually” … “I may have to leave early to XYZ”

If you are having a good time and decide to stay longer – then that will be a good surprise!

If you have not pre-empted your host and you feel uncomfortable and want to leave - then remember your life is on your terms. It is OK to leave.

You leaving means you are looking after yourself and guarding your energy.  Sneak out quietly!  

#4 CALMING A RACING MIND
  • Move away from the person or thing that is triggering you and focus on DOING A TASK
  • Keep your hands busy
  • Take a 5 deep breaths!  
  • Keep the task simple, nothing that is too complex or requires brain power, something to keep your hands moving.  

This will allow you to just "be present" in that moment while your mind and emotions calm. 

Wishing you all the best for the season!
Janel
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