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 During a recent leadership coaching session, one of my clients, a highly capable, intelligent woman new to a management role—shared something powerful. When I asked what her biggest roadblock was to feeling confident as a leader, she said: “I always doubt myself. I worry that I don’t make good decisions.” That statement stopped us both in our tracks. Decision-making is at the heart of leadership. Yet when self-doubt takes over, hesitation creates confusion, delays action, and builds anxiety. Over time, it can even erode trust—both in yourself and from your team. I followed up by asking, “How long have you felt this way about your decision-making?” Without hesitation, she replied, “My whole life”. How Limiting Beliefs Form in High-Achieving WomenLanguage patterns, especially the negative ones we repeat often reveal the root cause of our most persistent challenges. “The words we use to describe our fears often reflect our deeper inherited belief system.” —Mark Wolynn, Inherited Family Trauma When we explored deeper, my client’s language uncovered a core limiting belief around decision-making. One likely shaped by past experiences or subtle messaging that said:
This belief had quietly sabotaged her leadership confidence for years. It created hesitation, second-guessing, and kept her from showing up as the decisive, grounded leader she truly was. And here’s the truth — this limiting belief is incredibly common among high-achieving women. From my experience as a mindset and confidence coach, I often see how past mistakes, criticism, or even the opinions of others plant seeds of self-doubt that undermine leadership capability for years—sometimes decades. Over time, that seed becomes a core belief that shapes identity: “I can’t trust myself. I don’t make good decisions.” Why Self-Trust Matters in LeadershipA lack of self-trust doesn’t just affect your confidence, it influences every decision you make as a leader. It fuels hesitation, delays, and reliance on external validation. Slowly, it chips away at your authority and your team’s trust in your leadership. But here’s what I want every woman in leadership (or aspiring to be) to know: 👉🏼 Making good decisions isn’t a gift. It’s a skill. And like any skill, it can be learned, practiced, and strengthened—with the right mindset, awareness, and tools. In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), we understand that your core beliefs shape your behaviors. If you believe you’re not good at making decisions:
But when you reframe the belief to something empowering “I am learning to make strong, aligned decisions with confidence” everything begins to shift. Why Reframing Matters for Leadership ConfidenceWhen a leader is indecisive, it ripples through the team. Projects stall. Communication breaks down. Trust weakens. But when a leader steps into certainty and self-trust—even when the path isn’t perfect, it builds momentum. It inspires confidence in others. It models resilience and accountability. That’s why reframing limiting beliefs around decision-making isn’t just about you, it’s about everyone who looks to you for guidance and vision. 5 NLP-Inspired Coaching Strategies to Strengthen Your Decision-Making Muscle1. Get Clear on What Success Looks Like for You and Your Team Many poor decisions come from a lack of clarity about what success truly means. As a leader, it’s not just about what you want. It’s about creating a shared definition your team can rally behind. Ask yourself:
When clarity and communication are strong, your team moves forward with alignment and confidence. 2. Separate Emotion from Evidence First, calm your emotions. When fear, pressure, or anxiety are high, your nervous system hijacks rational thinking. Step away. Take a few deep breaths or a short walk. A calm body creates a clear mind. Then try this NLP reframe: Think of a mentor or wise woman you admire—someone grounded and calm under pressure. Step into her shoes. Ask:
3. Write a Pro/Con List But Make It Strategic This isn’t just about listing positives and negatives. As a leader, your choices impact people, culture, and outcomes. For each option, ask:
This process blends logic and intuition—two essential leadership tools for confident decision-making. 4. Weigh All Options (Even the Uncomfortable Ones) Sometimes the best decision is the one you’re avoiding. It might involve confrontation, change, or saying no and that’s okay. Ask yourself: “What option would I consider if I knew I couldn’t fail?” Exploring discomfort builds courage. Great leaders make aligned decisions, even when the answer feels risky. 5. Consider the People Impacted Strong leadership decisions are made in context. They take into account the people affected - your team, clients, or community. Ask:
This is emotional intelligence in action—the foundation of trust and sustainable leadership. Leadership Confidence Comes From Self-TrustHere’s what I told my client at the end of our session: “You’ve already made countless good decisions. You just haven’t always stopped to celebrate them. Every time you trust yourself and act with clarity, that old belief ‘I don’t make good decisions’ loses its grip.” Leadership isn’t about never making mistakes. It’s about learning to trust yourself through the process. You’re allowed to learn as you go. You’re allowed to get it wrong. That doesn’t make you a poor decision-maker—it makes you a growing leader. When you build self-trust, you not only make stronger decisions - you model confidence, courage, and resilience for everyone who looks to you for guidance.  If you’re ready to break the cycle of overthinking and self-doubt, my Next Level You 8-session coaching program is designed to help women build deep self-trust and confidence from the inside out.
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Has Anyone Ever Doubted Your Potential?3/10/2025 Words and opinions can cut deep. Especially when they come from someone we admire, or someone in a position of authority. And sometimes, the words we hear in our younger and most formative years echo in our minds for years and even decades later. Maybe it was a comment you overheard someone say, or an opinion that was made about your capability. An offhand remark from a teacher, a family member, or even a boss that stuck like super-glue to your young mind's identity. And without realizing it, you’ve spent your whole life trying to prove them wrong. That was the story of my client, Heidi. When High Expectations Turn Into Self-Doubt On the outside, Heidi was the definition of “success”. She was a high-performing leader, in a fantastic role, valued by her organization and known to be a person who always strived to go above and beyond. But on the inside, her inner critic was screaming "you'll never be good enough" on loud speaker.
Heidi described it this way: 💭 “I’m placing pressure on myself to perform outside my already high capacity, worrying what others think, constantly overthinking things outside my control, and generally feeling like I’m not achieving - when those around me have praise for who I am and what I do.” Sound familiar? This is the reality for so many perfectionists and high-achievers. You push yourself to impossible standards to achieve many accomplishments - but instead of fueling confidence and pride, those expectations quietly fuel anxiety and burnout.  The Root Cause of the Lack in Confidence? A Two Decade Old Self-Limiting BeliefThrough our coaching together, we uncovered the deeper fear driving Heidi’s perfectionism and self-belief. It all traced back to ONE sentence she overheard someone in a position of authority say about her as a teenager: “She’s never going to amount to anything.” Imagine your younger self hearing those words. The impact can go one of two ways:
For Heidi, the shock, embarassment, hurt, shame and confusion were far too much for her young mind to process. As often happens, Heidi held an uncomfortable mix of BOTH impacts - driving achievement on the outside, while eroding confidence on the inside. What if they're right about me? It's probably true. If they believe it, then it must be right. Maybe I'll never amount to anything. What we uncovered together in coaching:Those words took root and became a self-limiting belief in Heidi's unconscious mind. Quietly shaping how she saw herself for years to come and the reason she was on a perpetual anxiety-burnout cycle in almost every job she held. Every achievement, every promotion, every late night working was, in some way, tied to proving that belief and that person wrong. Over time that person became her inner critic, the relentless reminder of not being enough, the constant shadow on her achievements. This is what limiting beliefs do:
The Transformation: From Perfectionism to Confidence After just 8 weeks of working together, Heidi experienced a huge shift. Through a powerful Timeline Therapy® process we released the old limiting belief and insecurities driving her perfectionism and reframed her relationship with success. Within weeks Heidi was:
Today, Heidi is thriving in a senior leadership role and serving on multiple boards, dedicating her expertise to companies and causes she’s truly passionate about. Not to prove anyone wrong, but because she believes in her own potential. How to Release the Pressure YourselfIf you’ve been carrying the weight of someone else’s words (or your own impossible standards) here’s where to start:
-Janel Briggs, Confidence & Mindset Coach Ready to Reclaim Your Confidence?Heidi’s story is proof that you’re not defined by the doubts of others - or the impossible expectations you’ve placed on yourself.
If you’re ready to release the pressure, break free from old patterns and belief's that have been holding you back from your true potential, I’d love to support you. My 'University of You' mentoring program is now open for October enrollment.
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From an evolutionary psychology perspective, caring about others’ opinions is part of human nature. For centuries, this wiring helped humans survive. As social beings, we could only endure the harsh environments of early life in groups. Acceptance meant safety, food, and protection. Rejection meant danger and even death in certain situations. Because of this deep need for belonging, our brains evolved with a sensitivity to social approval and a fear of rejection. But in today’s workplace, that same instinct often works against us. Instead of helping us thrive, it can trigger comparison, erode confidence, and leave us second-guessing our capabilities. One of the most common struggles I see in the professional women I coach is the habit of comparing themselves to colleagues. Especially when a new leader emerges with a different leadership style. This kind of workplace comparison doesn’t just drain your energy. Left unchecked, it can spiral into what I call comparisonitis, a constant loop of “I’m not enough” even when you’re more than capable. Why Comparing Yourself to Colleagues Fuels Self-DoubtA client of mine, let’s call her Rachel, had just stepped into a middle-management role. She was excited. This was the career move she had worked so hard for. But instead of leading her team solo, the company brought in another manager to share the responsibility. We’ll call her Claire. Claire was outgoing, extroverted, and at times polarizing. The type of leader who could energize a room, but also miss the small nuances when she jumped out of the gates like an excited bull. Rachel, on the other hand, was thoughtful, deliberate, and more reserved in her leadership style. Two leaders. Two very different approaches. On paper, it should have been a perfect match of complementary skills. But in practice, Rachel started slipping into comparison: 💭 “Am I right for this role?” 💭 “I don’t have what she has.” 💭 “Will I still be effective if I’m not like her?” Instead of stepping into her strengths, Rachel began working longer hours, overthinking every decision, and quietly questioning her place. This is the trap so many women fall into: when leadership styles clash, comparisonitis creeps in and it convinces you that somehow different means less. The Truth About Different Leadership Styles Here’s the shift Rachel discovered through our coaching: Different does NOT mean LESS. She didn’t need to match Claire’s extroverted presence. What she needed was to recognize and own the value of her own authentic leadership style:
By embracing her strengths, Rachel realized she didn’t need to outshine her colleague, she needed to complement her. And once she stopped comparing, not only did her confidence return, her collaboration with Claire improved, and the team benefitted from both leadership styles working together. Introvert Leadership Strengths: Busting the Confidence MythBeing quieter or more reserved does not mean you lack confidence. True confidence isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about trusting yourself, your decisions, and your presence!  Video explaining introvert leadership confidence misconceptions How to Stop Comparing Yourself at Work (Three Confidence Tips)1. Catch the Trigger When you notice thoughts like “I don’t have what they have” pause. Ask yourself: What do I bring that they don't? 2. Shift from External to Internal Validation Instead of asking, Do they think I did well? Ask yourself:
3. Redefine Confidence Confidence doesn’t come from mimicking someone else’s strengths. It comes from leaning into your own authentic leadership. So, the next time comparisonitis creeps in, remind yourself: your colleague’s gifts or skills don’t diminish yours. By embracing your authentic style, you step out of comparison and into confidence. What your workplace needs most isn’t another version of someone else - it’s the real you! Janel Briggs Confidence & Mindset Coach 
I have a few spots open for a free Confidence Kickstart Session. Let’s map out your strategy and next steps together!
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Perfectionists don’t burn out because they’re lazy. And they don’t burn out because they can’t handle the workload or lack resilience. They burn out because they keep making the same hidden mistake on repeat throughout their careers: Believing that working harder will be "the thing" that finally silences their self-doubt. As a Confidence & Mindset Coach for high-achieving women (and a recovering perfectionist myself!), I see this perfectionism–burnout cycle constantly in my clients. Smart, capable women who already have full plates keep piling on more pressure. They believe if they just work harder, organize better, and get more in control, then the self-doubt will finally disappear. “If I just achieve more, I’ll feel better. When I get on top of everything, then this doubt will disappear.” It’s tempting to believe the answer is more effort. But sadly, true self-worth can’t be achieved through performance. No number of completed tasks, promotions, or achievements will ever silence that inner critic. Confidence and peace only come when you finally step off the treadmill of “do more, be more” and start building worth from a place of self-acceptance - not achievement. Why Hard Work Won’t Fix Perfectionism BurnoutWhen perfectionists feel the constant hum of “not good enough,” their first instinct is to double down on doing. That usually looks like:
But perfectionism isn’t a productivity issue. It’s not about time management or efficiency. Perfectionism is rooted in fear. And the harder you try to “fix, manage, or control” that fear by doing more, the louder it gets. That’s why so many perfectionists end up exhausted, overwhelmed, and questioning their worth. For many high-achievers, this often spirals into workaholism. Staying late, taking on more than anyone else, and wearing exhaustion like a badge of honor. It looks and feels like productivity, but at its core it’s really just fear running the show. Perfectionism Is Fueled by Fear, Not ProductivityPerfectionism wears the mask of hard work, but at its core it’s driven by hidden fears that fuel behaviors and push high-achievers straight into burnout:
If you’ve ever found yourself ticking every box and still going to bed feeling like you didn’t do enough… that’s not poor productivity. That’s perfectionism whispering, “Try harder. You’re still not enough.” It’s not a productivity problem. It’s a self-worth problem.
Like this topic? Head to Instagram to watch my latest reel The Shift That Changes EverythingThe turning point for perfectionists doesn’t come from another productivity hack, downloading a new goal-setting app, or committing to a 5-step morning routine. The real shift happens when you stop trying to fix yourself through hard work and start learning to:
Breaking Free From the Burnout CycleSo, what do you do instead? Here are three steps to start breaking the perfectionism–burnout cycle today:
When you stop chasing worth through overworking to prove you’re not the fear inside your head, you finally create space for confidence and peace. That’s when you break free from burnout and step into fearless living! Janel Briggs Ready to Break the Cycle? If you’re ready to stop running in circles of overwork and burnout, I can help. Through my coaching programs, I guide high-achieving women to quiet their inner critic, overcome perfectionism, and finally feel enough. 👉 Work with me here
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Have you ever walked into the office (or opened your laptop at home) already carrying a silent checklist of how the day should go?
And then… reality happens. Deadlines slip. Your inbox fills with “urgent” requests. Someone misses a detail you never would have overlooked. Instead of feeling accomplished, you end the day frustrated, anxious, and irritated with the productivity level. This is the quiet trap so many of us (perfectionists!) fall into. Our own 'expectations' can be the one thing stealing our sense of contentment at work. When Expectations Clash with RealityI remember a client telling me about a new team she started managing, Janel, I don't even think I set the bar that high, but no one else seems to be able to live up to the standards I believe are necessary. And when they don’t, I feel super frustrated. Like what part of my direction or explanation didn't make sense to them? Why can't they step up? Maybe you know that feeling too. That sting of unmet expectations and you're view of how the team "should be performing" can spiral quickly:
But here’s the thing: our own high expectations of ourselves and our work ethic often don’t match the reality of what others can produce and achieve. You see, everyone brings different strengths, priorities, and working styles to the table. What feels like standard “baseline effort” to you might feel like “overachieving” or even "unachieveable" to someone else. And when we measure their performance against the ruler of our own perfectionist standards, disappointment is almost always guaranteed. A Mindset Shift from Expectations to StandardsSo, here’s what I tell my coaching clients who are stuck feeling frustrated with unmet expectations: there’s a huge difference between expectations and standards.
For example:
Expecting that they value precision and a sense of urgency. But, unfortunately not everyone is wired the same way. One colleague might thrive under pressure and move quickly, while another produces their best work when given more time and to work at a slower space to process. One team member might place a high value on attention to detail, double-checking every number and document before handing it over. Yet another might shine when brainstorming ideas or moving projects forward quickly, even if their work isn’t polished in the same way. Both approaches have value, but if your expectation is that everyone should perform exactly as you do, you’ll miss the unique strengths each person brings.
A standard says, “This is the level of quality I can commit to within my capabilities and values system”. The beauty of standards is that they inspire others without imposing unrealistic pressure. Knowing and accepting each person’s standard creates alignment rather than resentment. See the difference? Unless you have a team of perfectionists or high achievers in a carbon copy cut out of you one will leave you frustrated when reality falls short. The other will keep you grounded in what you can control. When you recognize what someone is capable of and how they naturally work best, you can set realistic expectations and meet them where they are. This not only reduces your frustration but also fosters stronger collaboration. Because you’re valuing the contribution they can give, instead of expecting they would show up in a different way. Perhaps you could think about a conversation you can have to clarify their strengths, values, and working style.
 Coaching Tips for Easing the Frustration of Unmet ExpectationsIf you’ve ever felt like your high expectations at work are stealing your joy, here are a few practices to try: 1. Notice the “shoulds" The moment you hear yourself thinking, “This should have gone differently” or “I should have done more, instead of relying on my team” pause. That’s expectation talking. Ask yourself: Is this realistic? Or am I holding onto a picture that doesn’t match reality? 2. Redefine success in the moment Instead of circling in perfectionism, aim for effective. Ask: What outcome would move this forward today? You’ll be amazed at how freeing it feels to release the impossible standard of needing perfection. 3. Share your standards clearly Communicate what matters to you: quality, respect, timeliness. Invite your colleagues to meet you there. Standards unite; expectations can often divide. 4. Reframe “failure” A project that takes longer than expected isn’t failure - it’s giving you feedback. Use it as data for how to adjust next time. This one shift can transform stress and anxiety into acceptance. 5. Offer yourself compassion Perfectionist's are often the hardest on themselves. Next time you miss your own mark, try saying: "I did my best with what I had today, and that is enough". Compassion softens the edges of expectation. If you’ve been wondering why work feels heavier than it should, it may not only be the excessive workload it may also be those high expectations killing your happiness. As a mindset coach, I’ve seen how quickly perfectionist women reclaim their energy and confidence when they shift from unrealistic expectations to healthy standards. It’s not about lowering the bar. It’s about setting the bar in a way that supports both your success and your well-being. What if instead of demanding perfection, you gave yourself permission to lead with clarity, kindness, and realistic standards? That shift doesn’t just change the way you work... it transforms the way you feel about work. Confidence grows. Joy returns. And balance becomes possible! Janel Briggs 🔹 If you’re ready to release the weight of impossible expectations and step into a more empowered way of leading, I’d love to support you. This is exactly the work I do with women in coaching - helping perfectionists find freedom, confidence, and a leadership style that feels authentic. Let’s connect and explore what’s possible for you.
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It takes a perfectionist to know a perfectionist. Yes, I admit I used to be one. From a young age I was ALWAYS obsessed with doing it “right”, frightfully scared to fail, and I continutally hit mental burnout (time and time again!) from my incessant need to control outcomes and re-do things a hundred times while trying to achieve the elusive perfection. Thankfully, I'm now 5 years into my 'recovery' for my perfectionism. So trust me when I say: this blog comes from personal experience and professional insight.  If you’re working for (or alongside) a perfectionist - and you’re NOT one yourself - it can feel draining, confusing, and sometimes like you’re never quite “good enough”.Working with a perfectionist can feel exhausting. Their high standards, constant push for the unachievable, and laser-focus on what’s missing (rather than what’s working!) can leave you second-guessing yourself or wondering if you’ll ever "do enough" to impress them. And if you’re not wired the same way - maybe you're someone who values flow over structure, progress over perfection, or prefers big picture thinking to detailed micro management, then the relationship can feel tense or stressful. But here’s the key insight I had to learn the hard way (that might change the game for you too): Perfectionism isn’t just about a person's need for control - it’s often rooted in an unconscious fear of failure, judgment, or critisim. Understanding this can help you stop taking things personally and start setting clear boundaries, communicating with more confidence, and creating an ease in your work relationships. The perfectionist’s inner narrative is often: “If I can control every detail, I can prevent failure. If I can stay across every task, I can ensure nothing goes wrong and I won't be judged or criticised.” It’s often a desperate need for control, in an attempt to quiet the fear but disguised as diligence. This is why so many perfectionists burnout in the workplace. There is a push-pull of always needing to do MORE. Here are five mindset shifts and practical strategies to help you work with a perfectionist to help you show up with more confidence to protect your peace in the working environment. 1. It’s Not Always About YouAs mentioned perfectionists are often driven by a deep fear or insecurity of being judged, failing, or letting someone down. Their meticulousness or over-correction isn’t a always necessarily a reflection of your value - it’s how they manage their own inner critic. This means:
If you're feeling triggered by any of the above... your best option is to reframe the situation: “I see what they're doing here. They’re trying to avoid risk, not trying to undermine me.” This shift in perspective can take some of the sting out of their feedback - and help you stay grounded in your own self-worth. 2. Ask for Clarity - Don’t Assume AnythingPerfectionists have high but often unspoken expectations. They might give broad direction but expect you to give them pixel-perfect outcomes. You don’t need to read their mind, but it's in your best interest to ask clear questions of specificially what they want/need up front (in dot point form!). Try asking:
The more clarity you get early on, the fewer revisions later and the more confident you’ll feel knowing you’re aligned doing (xyz) exactly as they outlined! 3. Don’t Absorb Their AnxietyIf you're naturally easygoing or flexible, you might find yourself absorbing a perfectionist’s pressure or urgency. Their energy can be intense and cause undue stress, especially under deadlines. The truth is: You don’t have to match their pace or tension to be effective. In fact, you’ll be even MORE effective when you lead as your authentic self. Hold your own internal rhythm. Breathe. Regroup. Get clarity. Stick to the way you work best. “I do my best work when I stay calm and centered. Even if they operate differently.” I can assure you the best outcomes do not come from anxious energy. Someone in the equation has to stay level headed and grounded. Perhaps you're most valuable gift is that you are not stuck in perfectionism spinning wheels with them! 4. Reflect Progress, Not PerfectionOne of the hardest things about working with a perfectionist? They often overlook progress in the pursuit of flawlessness outcomes. Sure, we all want success, but when every detail has to be perfect, it can feel like even if we're off by1% nothing is ever good enough. It can leave you feeling unseen, unappreciated, or like your efforts don’t count. And how will we ever learn and grow if anything other than 100% perfection is failure? You can help balance this by reflecting progress back to them. Try communicating like this:
You’re not asking for gold stars — you’re guiding their attention to what’s going well, and inviting constructive feedback instead of criticism. 5. Hold Your Boundaries - Know Your WorthPerfectionists sometimes overstep without realizing it — adding last-minute changes, asking for unnecessary tweaks, or expecting 110% MORE all the time. It can be incredibly frustrating and leave you feeling like no matter how much you give, it’s never quite enough. However, this is a way to maintain a collaborative relationship while protecting your time and energy. Try using language like:
This communicates that you’re engaged and professional — but also self-respecting with healthy boundaries. You Deserve to Feel Confident - Even in Tough Work DynamicsWorking with a perfectionist can test your patience, your mindset, and sometimes even your self-esteem! But you don’t have to change who you are to thrive. You just need the right tools and support to navigate it. Building real, lasting confidence at work isn’t about becoming louder or more assertive. It’s about knowing your value, communicating clearly, and learning how to stand steady in your strengths — even when others operate differently. -Janel Briggs  Ready to Level Up Your Confidence?If this resonated with you and you're looking for ways to stop shrinking yourself around different personalities at work to start owning your space... my 1:1 Confidence & Mindset Coaching is designed just for you.
Whether you’re navigating tricky work relationships, leading a team, or preparing for your next big step up, I’ll help you shift from self-doubt to unshakable self-confidence. 👉 Let’s work together to build the version of you who speaks up, stands tall, and leads with clarity and confidence. Book Your Free Discovery Call Today!
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Have you ever woken up and thought, is this it...?You’ve checked all the boxes—career, relationships, responsibilities—but something still feels missing. Many of the women I speak with in their late 30s and mid-40s are experiencing a moment (or season!) of feeling “lost”. Questioning their purpose and struggling with confidence.
Often, these feeling are triggered by major life transitions—kids growing older and becoming more independent, career stagnation, shifting relationships, or the realization that the goals they once chased no longer bring fulfilment. Fortunately, there is a way to rediscover your purpose, and you can rebuild your confidence. It starts with small, intentional steps. Here’s how: Step 1: Reflect on What You EnjoyWhen was the last time you felt truly alive? Not just content, but energized by something you were doing? We get so caught up in what we should be doing that we forget what actually lights us up! Take a moment to reflect on:
Think back to your childhood—before responsibilities took over. Did you love writing, painting, organizing, or problem-solving? These little clues can guide you toward what’s missing in your life today. Step 2: Identify Your Strengths and ValuesYour natural strengths and core values are key to discovering your purpose. Start by asking yourself:
For example, if you naturally lead and inspire others, perhaps mentorship or volunteering in a leadership capacity will fulfil you beyond your current role. If creativity is your strength, you might thrive in roles that allow self-expression. Aligning your strengths with your values helps build a purpose-driven life and career. Step 3: Try New ThingsFear of change can keep us stuck in a cycle of dissatisfaction. If you’re feeling lost, it might be time to shake things up! You don’t need to overhaul your entire life overnight, but trying something new—big or small—can open doors you never expected. Consider:
Stepping outside of your comfort zone not only builds confidence but also gives you valuable insight on what excites and fulfils you. Step 4: Seek Guidance from MentorsYou don’t have to figure this out alone. Seeking guidance from mentors, coaches, or role models can provide invaluable insights. Look for:
Step 5: Trust the JourneyFinding your purpose isn’t a one-time event; it’s an ongoing exploration. It requires patience, self-compassion, and trust in yourself. You might not have all the answers today, and that’s okay. Every experience, even the challenging ones, is guiding you toward clarity. If you feel stuck, remind yourself:
Lastly, I want to remind you that feeling “lost” doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re evolving. By reflecting on what you enjoy, identifying your strengths, stepping outside your comfort zone, seeking guidance, and trusting the journey, you’ll start to regain confidence and uncover your next direction and purpose. If you're ready to dive deeper and need support along the way, let's connect—I would love to help you start this process!
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 Have you ever felt frustrated or even a little jealous when you heard someone you know achieved something amazing?That pang of comparison hits(!), and instead of feeling happy for them, you feel a mix of frustration, jealousy, and guilt for not achieving something similar. If you’ve ever felt this way, here me out-you’re not alone. I recently worked with a client who found herself in this exact situation. My client was upset after learning that a close friend had reached a big milestone in her career. While she genuinely wanted to be supportive, she couldn’t shake the negative thoughts that followed. If you’ve ever experienced success comparison, you know how tricky it can be to navigate and release. It’s important to process these feelings ao they do not become future barriers to growth and success. First we do this by exploring the elements of the comparison and its potential root cause, beginning with: Reflective Questions About Success Comparison
Through our discussion it became clear that this particular milestone wasn’t even on her radar! It wasn’t something she had been striving for, yet she found herself spiraling into feelings of inadequacy, saying things like, “I don’t know why I feel this way—it’s not even something I wanted. But now I feel like I'm falling behind. Like I'm a failure.” Rationally, she understood that her comparison was misaligned, as the circumstances were not equivalent. In fact, they were in fundamentally different industries, started their careers at different times, and faced unique situations. However rationally her mind attempted to release it, unfortunatley her negative feelings still lingered. Exploring the Root Cause of Success ComparisonAs we continued to explore the origins of her feelings of jealousy and frustration, we discovered that her reaction wasn’t rooted in jealousy at all. She deeply cared for her friend and had always supported her success. What she came to realize was that, by not achieving something equally noteworthy by the same age, she felt as though she’d "failed" in some way. In coaching, failure is highly subjective and can be perceived in many ways depending on an individuals belief system, past experiences, and expectations. Shifting how failure is viewed can transform it from a mindset barrier into a catalyst for improved self-confidence and reslience. When we followed the perceived ‘failure’, we discovered her comparison ultimately stemmed from her own: 💡 PERSONAL UNMET EXPECTATIONS She felt stuck and guilty for being "behind" in her career achievements. (We've all been there!) The most interesting part? When I asked "What does success look like for you then?" she hadn’t clearly defined what success meant to her. There was no measurable, or clearly defined personal roadmap for what she wanted to achieve. No specific goals and actionable steps to guide her career. There was an overarching limiting belief that if she "didn't achieve a significant milestone by X age" then she must be failing. From my experience, without a clear personal definition (or vision) of what success equates to, along with goal milestones identified for that journey, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. You'll start looking at someone else’s achievements and asking: "Why haven’t I achieved that?" instead of focusing on, "What do I want, and how can I get there?" Without intentional, meaningful goals, we often measure ourselves against others, even when their accomplishments don’t align with our own aspirations. This comparison trap feeds feelings of inadequacy and prevents us from celebrating both our progress and theirs. Defining Your Version of SuccessOnce we identified the source of her negative feelings, we worked on setting intentional and meaningful goals based on her personal values and dreams—not based on anyone else’s timeline or aspirations. The transformation was incredible. She went from feeling inadequate and stuck to inspired and focused, with a clear path forward that aligned with her own personal model of success. This is why defining success on your terms is crucial. Your goals should reflect your desires, values, and priorities, not what any one else deems important. When you know what you’re working toward (and keep lazer focus on it!), it’s much easier to stay in your lane and avoid being derailed by comparison. This story highlights an important truth: comparison often leads us to feel inadequate, even when we’re not aiming for the same outcomes. By taking the time to reflect and understand the root cause of our emotions, we can shift our perspective and pave a new way forward. Additionally, setting clear, professional goals that align with your own big vision of what you want to unfold in your life can help you stay focused on your own path. Once "success" is defined it becomes easier to meet your own expectations and find fulfillment in your progress, rather than measuring yourself against others. -JB (note: all client stories shared with permission)  The Power of Goal SettingGoal setting isn’t just about writing down what you want to achieve—it’s about creating a clear and intentional path forward. It gives you direction, purpose, and a way to measure your progress. When your goals are meaningful and aligned with your values, they serve as your anchor, helping you stay focused even when others achieve their milestones. So, if you’ve ever felt that pang of comparison, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself:
If you haven’t, now is the perfect time to start. When you set goals that resonate with your unique vision, you’ll stop comparing and start celebrating—both their wins and your own. Introducing my 'New Year Goal Getting' GuideTo help women like you gain clarity and direction, I’ve created the Goal Getting Guide. This guide is designed to help you reflect on 2024, set meaningful goals for 2025, and create an actionable plan to make your dreams a reality. It’s time to move past comparison and step confidently into your own version of success. Let’s make 2025 your best year yet. Download the Goal Getting Guide today and start creating the life you truly want.Learn More and Get Started Today!
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I've been speaking to a lot of women lately who are feeling the PRESSURE. To do it all, to have it ALL TOGETHER, to give all their time-energy-service to everyone around them. This pressure is UNREAL! (and exhausting) But they're doing it. And yet, continue to feel like they are failing. If you're feeling this way too - I always start with a simple question: Do you LOVE and fully ACCEPT the woman you see in the mirror every morning?  I'll be honest, this is the No.1 question my client's find the hardest to answer! Here's why. Most of us struggle with self-acceptance. We're harsh and critical to the woman we see in the mirror. She is never doing enough, constantly judging and comparing herself, holding impossible standards, and believes she just may not ever be good enough. Like I mentioned in my last vlog, our self-worth is often tied to "conditions". Eg. external factors like possessions, achievements, or other people's opinions. But the truth is, you are inherently valuable—just as you are. Doing what you can, to the best of your ability with the energy and time you have today - IS ENOUGH! And when you begin to realise this - the self-inflicted pressure begins to DISSOLVE. Setting boundaries with people and at work becomes easier. Your resilience towards stress improves. When you learn to love & accept the woman in the mirror... she becomes capable of things you could never EVEN imagine! ~ JB If you're ready to learn love the woman you see in the mirror (with radical self-acceptance!)Watch above, as I share a snippet of coaching (under 3mins!) on: 🌟 Why our self-love often feels conditional 🌟 How societal pressures shape our self-worth 🌟3 actionable tips to start breaking free from those conditions and relieve that pressure! If this message resonates with you, please share it with a woman who also needs this reminder!
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Tapping Into the Magic Within You8/10/2023  In my line of work it's common for me to see women grappling with self-doubt. Sadly, this lack in belief can be the major cause of our stress, anxiety, burnout and even depression. We seem to live in a world where women feel there is a persona or invisible achievement list they have to live up to in order to be "worthy" or "valued". Watching the Barbie movie recently, this became even more clear to me. (Have you seen it? What did you think of it?) The gremlin thoughts in our mind often make us feel that if we don't look like THIS, or have THAT, or achieve THIS, then we're failing, "not good enough" or will "never be good enough". It's a pressure that is hard to comprehend and manage. And, if we've experienced knock backs at any stage of our life or career, the journey to quiet the gremlins and get back to self-confidence can be super challenging. But I am here to remind you that this journey back to your true self, can also be incredibly rewarding. Within each and every one of us, there exists a reservoir of magic waiting to be tapped into. Special qualities, characteristics, talents, and brilliance that once recognised helps to light up the world in small or big ways. Learning how to unlock our magic is how we overcome self-doubt. Your magic sparkles from your qualities, strengths, values and known accomplishments.  If you're on this journey now - I have created a visual thought starter for you. Take a blank piece of paper, grab a pen, and divide your page into four. Ask yourself each of these questions, and fill in a few dot points for each box. Confidence blooms from deeply knowing and understanding yourself, embracing your unique qualities, and acknowledging your accomplishments. These elements will help you to go onto look at pursuing your passions. Mindset Coaching: The Key to Unleashing More of Your MagicMindset coaching is a powerful tool that empowers women to shift their perspective, challenge their limiting beliefs, and develop the confidence to pursue their goals. Here's how THRIVE mindset coaching can further help you tap into the magic within YOU: 1) Identifying Limiting Beliefs
2) Cultivating Self-Awareness
3) Shifting Negative Self-Talk
4) Setting Empowering Goals
5) Building Resilience
Your inner magic is wating to shine. Remember, you are capable and worthy of achieving greatness! Honour your uniqueness, own your story, and believe in your capabilities. THIS level of radical self-acceptance is where the magic sparkles within you! About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in overcoming their professional anxieties, imposter syndrome, fears and insecurities to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching is about learning how to become fearless and level up your life and career! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram. |
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