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Where Are You on the Priority List?4/3/2024 Here's a reflection for all the care-takers out there. The mothers, fur-mama's and women in relationships who spend most of their time caring and holding space for other people (whether it be your partner, children, family, or in your friendships). I want to ask you a question: Where are you on the priority list of your life? Recently, I had to ask myself this question. And it's VERY interesting what came up! Last week my husband and I decided to invest in private 1:1 coaching for our son (who is 10yo) for a sport he loves. This coaching would help him to build more confidence and fine tune his skills. I did my research, got a referral, and the quote came back at $200 for a number of sessions. It was literally a split-second decision - YES, let's do it! Within 24hrs the first session was set up. It was a "no-brainer" for us to spend $200 on our son's progression in this sport, his happiness is high on our priority list. On the flipside, I reflected on how I would have responded if the tables were turned a few years ago. I wondered how long it would have taken me to DECIDED to spend that same $200 on myself??Perhaps you could ask yourself the same thing? I can tell you, the decision would have taken wayyyy longer than 24hrs!! My mind would have been spinning thinking about all the justifications, the pro's and con's, in an attempt to ward off the overwhelming feeling of... GUILT. "I can't do that, I can't spend that much on myself... it's too much! I'll find another way. I'll get another quote. I'll wait to see if I REALLY NEED IT." You may have had a similar response or mindset too?I've had clients tell me they're kids are always dressed in the best clothes - yet they're still wearing those old shoes with the hole in them they bought 5 years ago! Or, they'll even pay for the finest food, toys and new beds for they're fur babies - yet they're still using a broken hair brush from 2012! Or, they won't even blink an eye at loaning a family member or friend money to support their idea or dream - yet won't do the same for themselves! WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS??Honestly, I believe it comes down to priority and self-value. Where we place ourselves on our own priority list matters. We forget about how important it is to invest in ourselves, in our own progression, healing and growth. I can tell you that in every decision I used to make - I was at the bottom of my priority list. Somehow in my role as the "responsible care-taker" in my immediate and extended family I thought else's needs came before mine. What I came to realise (after hitting a rock bottom with my mental health in 2017!) is that my needs and taking care of myself HAD to come FIRST. I needed to be a top priority in my life, instead of bottom of the list. If I couldn't make myself a priority and voice my needs - then how would anyone else ever make me a priority too? My last questions for you is this: How can you move yourself up the priority list this week
And if you have any questions or comments on how to get started - please reach out! About the Author: Janel Briggs is an Author, Mindset Coach, Practitioner of NLP and Timeline Therapy on a mission to support women across the world in overcoming their anxiety - personal insecurities and professional fears - to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching aims to help you fearlessly elevate your life and career, and more importantly the relationship you have with yourself! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.
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Busting the Vicious Cycle of Self-Doubt29/1/2024 How you shut down the nagging voice of self-doubt that questions your cabilities, worth and decisions when she shows up? As people return to work in January a common theme I hear from clients after a period of “time off” is that this is when the self-doubt begins to sneak in (again). Whispering those negative thoughts and planting seeds of insecurity. When stop and take time off the work-life busy rat race, it can be hard to get back on it. Specifically when self-doubt is a pattern of thinking has become a comfortable habit; a habit that doesn’t serve you. But where does this self-doubt come from? Understanding the Roots Often its rooted in past experiences, societal expectations, or comparisons we have and make with others. The first step to relieving self-doubt is to recognise the thought patterns and honestly understand that your worth isn’t defined by external factors. The Mindset Coaching Approach Once you notice the pattern it’s crucial to break the cycle of thought that is constantly questioning your capabilities and decisions. But how do you do that? You've got to explore it: Q: What are you doubting? Q: Why are you doubting yourself and your capabilities? Q: If doubt wasn’t holding you back what would you be doing, believing or feeling? Rewrite the Negative Narrative Then tap into the positive thought spectrum that is already within each one of us. The simplest coaching tool I can share with you is - using Positive Affirmations - to rewire your mind's thoughts from words of DOUBT to self-BELIEF. Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself regularly to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. They act as a reset buttong for your mind. By consistently repeating the same phrases, you're rewiring your brain to focus on your strengths rather than weaknesses. They’re like a daily dose of inspo for your soul really, that reshapes your mindset. I’ve been using affirmations daily in my own life since 2017, and it’s the number one reason why I created Learn to Thrive Morning Journal. Affirmations helped me in my darkest days, battling anxiety and crippling self-doubt to remember that “Today and every day I am enough”. Instead of waking up every day and listening to all the negatives your mind wants to throw at you… all the “I cant’s” and “I dont’s” or “not enough’s” you take charge and affirm your worth, strength and capabilities. This tool when practiced consistently helps your mind in 3 ways:
Crafting Your AffirmationsThere are a few things to remember when crafting your own positive affirmations. They need to be short impactful statements focusing the mind on what you want. BE Positive and Present: Affirmations should be written or spoken in positive present tense verbage, avoiding negative words. Refrain from using words like not, dont, wont which all have a negative connotation. For example, "I am confident and capable" instead of "I will NOT doubt myself". BE Specific: Steer clear of generic statements, be specific about the qualities, attributes or goals you want to bring into your life and focus on. For example, "I am capable of handing any challenges that come my way today" instead of "I am resilient". Be Repetitive: The power is in repetition. Read, write, speak the same affirmations for at least 60-90 days. Let them become your mantra that propels you forward. Watch as your belief in these affirmations grows. If you're new to this practice download a copy of my free affirmations list and let that be your guide. Every Monday over on Instagram I help kick off your week with 5 Positive Affirmations ...(watch this and save for later!) The Mindset Shift Lastly, we need to dream bigger and bust any roadblock to the amazing life and career you are here for! Ask yourself: Q: What is doubt truly holding you back from? Q: If you assumed you had the skills, resources and resilience… what would change for you? Q: If doubt wasn’t in the picture, what could become possible for you? You mind is a powerful force. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change. Above all else... just be kind to yourself. About the Author: Janel Briggs is an Author, Mindset Coach, Practitioner of NLP and Timeline Therapy on a mission to support women across the world in overcoming their anxiety - personal insecurities and professional fears - to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. Mindset Coaching aims to help you fearlessly elevate your life and career, and more importantly the relationship you have with yourself! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram. |