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Holidays are supposed to be a time for joy and celebration. But for many people, the holidays can also be stressful and anxiety-inducing. The good news is that there are plenty of things you can do to manage your holiday stress and anxiety, so it doesn't prevent you from enjoying yourself with family and friends! 1. Keep Your Regular Routine Holiday stress can take over your life pretty easily, and if you're not careful, it can send you into an anxiety spin as we set aside all the good habits and things we know are good for us, while making time for the increased work and social commitments. Don't let the “busy” of the holidays season send you off-course though, your habits are what will keep you GROUNDED in the chaos. Keep up with your regular routine as much as possible. If you're used to going for a walk or exercising a few times a week, find a way to protect that “you time” at all costs. We always have to say no to something, don’t let it be the things you fill your energy cup with. And if you want to know how to stay feeling calm and more relaxed - on Christmas morning while everyone else sleeps in, get up early and go for a walk or run outside to clear your mind before the big day! 2. Practice Self-Care When it comes to self-care, there's no one size fits all approach. Be kind to yourself and listen to your body. If your calendar looks manic with events, block at least 1 or 2 nights at home with NO plans so you can pre-plan some downtime (you’ll thank me for it later!). Take time for yourself, eat well, and prioritise getting enough sleep—these things will help you feel more rested and energised during these hectic weeks leading up to end of year. Self-care is also being aware of mentally what you are consuming. If you find yourself staying up late watching TV to “zone out” just do yourself a favour and GO TO BED. Sleep is so much better for you than Netflix. Or if scrolling social media seeing everyone else’s perfectly curated Christmas tree’s and happy family snaps is making you anxious (or just plain sad and overwhelmed), consider taking a break socials. Wouldn’t it be amazing to hit the finish line well rested and some mental capacity to enjoy the festivities? 3. Make a Plan and Stay Flexible If you are a natural planner and organiser that’s great, my suggestion then is to stay flexible. Rigid black and white thinking and “only one way to do this” mentality has caused many a family argument during the holidays. If you can be flexible in your approach to everything, then you will be less likely to get stressed out by the things that come up. Aunty Janice could be right, she could well have the stuffing recipe out there – it doesn’t mean yours is any less - you of course could be right too. There are always multiple ways of doing a single thing. The person with the most flexibility in this situation is going to be the master of their own emotions and have the most fun. Who wants to be held back in judgement about something a simple as a stuffing recipe?! Not me. Janice – do your thing. 4. Don't Be Afraid to Say "No" You probably like to get involved in everything; you may even have FOMO at times when you don’t have a finger in every pie. But setting healthy boundaries for your time is VERY important at this time of year. We do not want to take any held resentments into the new year! So, don't let others pressure you into doing things you don't want to do. It is not your job to be everywhere at once and make everyone happy. Saying no is necessary and healthy! If you're feeling overwhelmed by all the holiday activities on your plate, then ask for help or simply decline an invitation altogether. It's okay, people can respect your decisions just as much as they expect others will respect theirs. 5. Delegate Like a Boss If you’re feeling overwhelmed, then it’s time to delegate. You do not have to do it all. Remember the saying “Many hands make light work”. People also actually like to help and feel needed, so delegate. Get everyone involved so you don’t feel overburdened by the work that needs to get done. Everyone knows you can do it all, but you may kill every last bit of energy you have in the process! 6. Let it Be If you find yourself stuck worrying and pre-empting about all the WHAT IFs of Christmas Day or holiday parties - who’s coming, whether everyone will get along, who will drink to much, or say too much, or start a difficult conversation. This thought process will only ever bring you stress and anxiety, as you cannot control the outcomes of other people. Let it be. What is going to happen will happen, no matter whether you spend 25 days worrying about what will happen. Instead, perhaps think about why you are spending time with the people who are important to you and what the highlights of this holiday season are going to be. And make a game plan, if something does go pear shaped at any event you can take some time out for yourself—go for a walk or listen to some music to regroup. 7. Focus on Gratitude One of the most effective ways to manage holiday anxiety is to focus on gratitude. By being grateful for what you already have, it helps your mind stay in the present moment instead of way out to far in the future stuck on worry. You will start feeling less stressed about things that don't matter. Gratitude helps you appreciate the good things in your life, so it's a great way of getting into a more positive mindset. Once you make it a habit, it'll become second nature and help you feel less stressed through any situation—even if something stressful does happen! 8. Know the Things You Can Control You can control your energy level, how much sleep you get, what you are eating and drinking, your mindset, your time and your own personal happiness. You cannot control anyone else, and you are also not 100% responsible for everyone else’s happiness. When things seem out of control, reassess and reassure yourself that you are doing your best and that this is enough. If it turns out that something did not go perfectly, then accept it and release it! 9. Remember to Have Fun Let the stress go and remember the holidays are for you to have fun too. Everything will get done that needs to get done. Connect, be present in the little moments and enjoy it. You deserve it, its been a big few years. What is it all for, if it’s not for having fun with the people we love? 10. Ask for Help Finally, don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. If it’s not fun and everything is too much then please know you don’t have to go through this stress alone. Reach out to a friend, a family member or a professional for support. You deserve much love, peace and joy this time of year :) Wishing you all the best Janel Briggs ![]() About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.
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![]() We all have limiting beliefs. They’re those pesky, damaging, and deeply ingrained thoughts that’ve been there for years. So long in fact that we’ve become convinced that they must be true. They’re not. Trust me. I’ve been there and come out the other side and want you too as well. So what are limiting beliefs? Where did them come from? And how can we get rid of them? Limiting beliefs reach across all aspects of your life. They’re thoughts or opinions that negatively impact your relationships, growth, and moving forward. They’re the little (or loud) voice saying… I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. I’m too loud, too much, too clumsy. I don’t deserve this. I could never do that. I know I’m going to fail. During my study of timeline therapy and Neuro Linguistics Programming (NLP) coaching certification, I came to understand, and now coach, that most of our core beliefs, or how we feel or what we think about ourselves, are language patterns and programming from childhood. They’re developed when we’re young from a particular moment (or moments) in time. Influenced by family, friends, culture, school, or society in general, someone said something, or you overheard something and, for better or for worse, you decided (consciously or unconsciously) to take on their opinion or label and carry it as your own. As your truth. You start believing what you heard. And over the months, years, and decades, the words become ingrained “truths” and limiting beliefs that end up adversely effecting and impacting your confidence, self-esteem, and self-belief. And as we humans tend to do, we remember these negatives much more than the positives, making so much easier to believe these un-truths. So now that we’ve talked about what limiting beliefs are and where they come from, let’s talk about two ways STOP and reverse these thought and beliefs about yourself. AFFIRM\NATIONS
Affirmation are essential in countering decades of negative programming, self-talk, and limiting beliefs. The three steps to using affirmations are personalisation, repetition, and trust. Personalisation Make sure your affirmations are specific and personalised to you. Start each statement with “I am…” and make sure they are ALWAYS positive. No won’ts, don’ts, or I’ll try’s. Think “I am brave” or “I am courageous”, not “I wish I was brave” or “I want to be courageous”. Repetition Repeat, repeat, repeat. Write your affirmation in your journal (you can get mine here). Record and listen to them on your phone. Put sticky notes up around your home. Write, read, and hear them often. Use the same affirmations day in and day out until you truly feel and believe each statement. Trust As difficult (and strange) as it might seem, you really do need to trust the affirmation process. While it won’t happen overnight, repeating your statements focuses the forces of energy to bring light to your desired result. Trust and believe good is coming your way and see the magic unfold. To help you get started, or continue on your affirmation journey, visit my website to download my free 150 Positive Affirmations list. DEEP (GUIDED) WORK While affirmations help you move forward, actually getting rid of limiting beliefs often takes deeper work. The key to this deep work however is doing it with guidance. Trying to “do the work” without guidance can be difficult, frustrating, and potentially upsetting. By having a safe space to discover your underlying limiting beliefs and be guided through a process to transform these into empowering new beliefs you become your own “inner mentor”, confident and able to go forward. So you’re not alone in the deeper work, I run a small and intimate “Silencing Your Inner Critic” group workshop every month. Together over zoom we work together for 2 hours from the comfort of your own home on:
Limiting beliefs are just that, limiting. While they’re familiar and known, they also tend to keep us surviving and not thriving. They keep us stuck in the past unable to make real progress forwards. Instead let’s get you thriving. Let’s get you working on reprograming your beliefs. Let me help you build unwavering self-belief and get rid of your limiting beliefs. If you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe to my blog and YouTube channel. Download your free 150 Positive Affirmation List or get on the wait list for my next Silencing Your Inner Critic online workshop so we can do the deep work together.
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It’s the Multi-Tasking Time of the Year20/12/2021 At any given day, I bet you’re juggling 10 or more things at once. You’re thinking about work, home life, pets, children, friendships, family, and more. Then December comes along and BANG, now you’re juggling all of the above PLUS present buying, holiday planning, catch ups, work celebrations, year end reflections, new year planning, etc… With all of this added pressure (from ourselves and society), we may feel like multi-tasking is not just the best way to handle things, it’s also the only way. Well, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but it’s not. While a small percentage of the population (2% according to Forbes magazine in 2017) are good at multi-tasking, for the rest of us, constantly switching between tasks and attempting to multi-task actually decreases our productivity by up to 40%. See when we’re multi-tasking, while it may feel like we’re working faster and efficiently, we’re actually more likely just spinning our wheels, never really moving forward. We’re producing less than stellar decisions, outputs, and work. We forget what we were doing, where we’re at, and sometimes if we’ve even finished the tasks we’re trying to work through! We’ve got tabs open on our laptops. Links saved in our browsers. Lists all over the place. Scraps of paper with random notes on them. We’re also less able to filter out irrelevant information and decrease distractions, meaning we often make mistakes which means going back and redoing the work we thought we’d completed. In addition to this, multi-tasking also leads to:
Are you getting a clearer picture of why multi-tasking really isn’t ideal? Yes? Good. Now I know it might sound like the complete opposite of what you want to do, but introducing even a few of the suggestions below will go a long way in decreasing your multi-tasking habits and increase your productivity and the quality of everything you do.
1. Focus on one thing at a time. If you’re finishing up a report, focus on the report. Don’t click on browsers to figure out what time the shopping centres close so you can stop in after work. 2. Be present with whatever task you’re doing… How can you possibly write a heartfelt Christmas card when your mind is thinking about the email you need to send to your supervisor? Write the card. 3. …. and THEN move on to the next one With the card written and tucked in its envelope, now you can write up that email and give it your full attention. 4. Commit to “Do Not Disturb” time It’s hard to ignore all the notifications popping up all day, so let your device do it for you. Either pause, turn off, or set your “Do Not Disturb” so you can really concentrate. 5. Create time blocks Whether these are in 20minute windows or more or less, set your alarm or timer so you can stick to the task at hand (rather than bouncing from task to task) knowing that your next time block will be focussed on that task. 6. Shift your “big projects” to earlier in the day. Most people work best in the mornings before decision fatigue and interruptions have kicked in, so carve out this time (by using Do Not Disturb and time blocks) to work on those bigger projects. Here are three more important ways to reduce multi-tasking are to simplify our decision making so we don’t end up with decision fatigue.
For myself and my clients, I find the tips and tricks above go a long way in decreasing our multi-tasking and decision fatigue. I want to enjoy this time of year, and want you to do the same, so let’s choose even one of the suggestions above and really commit to it. Let’s stop multi-tasking and focus on the task at hand. As always, I’m here to help with these and other ways to get you thriving, so be sure to subscribe to my blog above, and if you’re really keen, book in a here so we can see which of my coaching for programs might be best serve you. Take care JB
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Still (exhausted!) working from home?17/11/2021 Even though most of the country has opened up, many of us are still working from home. Some by choice, some because we always have, some because you’re not allowed back into the office. Before the pandemic I reached out to over 2,000 women on LinkedIn and asked if they’d be open to sharing their personal experiences on key triggers for stress and anxiety. Almost half of the women (46.8%) said their career and job were the number one major source of stress in their life, followed by relationships and money. “Volume of work being overwhelming” was cited as the number one reason for work-related stress. Considering this was before the pandemic, these results tell us that, as a collective, we were already at capacity before 2020 and 2021 hit us. We were already at capacity before the definition of work norms and “office hours” became almost completely distorted. Before the lines between “work” and “home” became even more blurred. Give these a go
Like any work situation, working from home has its pros and cons. One of the differences with working from home is that you can have (or take back) some control of the home/work life juggle. As someone working from home and working with women who work from home for the past 5 years, I thought I’d share some practices I’ve incorporated (with trial, error, and practice) into my and my clients’ “work day” from home.
Build it in After looking over this list you might be thinking, “Great ideas Janel. I’m going to do them all!”. Stop. Pick ONE change and do that first.
I want you to succeed with these changes so they become regular habits and routines so they help signal your mind and body that the workday is over. That “home time” is here (even if you’ve never left it). If you’d like help introducing and incorporating these changes into your workday (with accountability!), be sure to check out my new program Burnout Recovery, a 4 week coaching program to help you reset your daily habits and look at what is potentially continueing to fuel this exhaustion. Working from home might be your reality in the short or long term. Let’s get you in the best work-from-home flow so you can thrive in work, home, and life!
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Almost half of those said they worked nearly TWICE as many late hours than the previous year.
And the number of hours spent working overtime? For many it went from 236 hours to a staggering 436 hours in one year. No wonder we’re all so burnt out! In my own work, many women and clients I’ve spoken to said this year has felt like one big emotional hangover, which often leads to… burnout. And the similarities I’ve been noticing? Emotional exhaustion + mental load = burnout Emotional Exhaustion Emotional exhaustion is the most common experience of burnout women feel and that I’ve seen with my clients during the last year and half. Whether it’s total exhaustion from the weight of conflicting, overwhelming, and repetitive emotions or the prolonged feelings of exhaustion, frustration, fear, worry, loss, sadness, anger, resentment, and even guilt, we’ve all been feeling it. The constant changes and adaptations. The cycles of change with feelings of little control over our lives. They all take an emotional toll. They all lead to emotional exhaustion often followed by burnout. Carrying the Mental Load The mental load we carry is not often as obvious as emotional exhaustion. But you know all those thoughts constantly swirling in our minds? The processing, analysing, overthinking? The monkey chatter and second-guessing? The doubts and fears? Well, this is carrying (and often being consumed by) the mental load. The mental load of our thoughts, worries, fears, and the stress that come from these patterns of repetitive (and often negative) thoughts. Of future pacing and staying five steps ahead. And then there’s the over-analysing… Have I done enough? Is there more I should be doing? Something I should’ve done? Something I shouldn’t? The reality of carrying these constant thoughts and beliefs is that is becomes overbearing, overwhelming, and exhausting. The mental load wears us down and leads us to burn out. How could it not? Making Changes Even after we’ve recognised our emotional exhaustion and mental load and made some changes, we often still FEEL burnt out. Confusing right? See when we experience chronic stress these feelings can trigger negative thought, emotions, beliefs, and patterns which often triggers our bodies’ stress response. So even if you’ve eliminated or eased the stresses and know things have changed your body never actually got the memo that everything’s ok. It doesn’t know you’re in a good place. You’re out of lockdown. You’ve changed jobs. It doesn’t know you’re ok. It doesn’t know you’re safe. Essentially what this means is that removing the stress doesn’t fully move you through burnout. Instead it’s your behaviours. Your behaviours tell your body things have changed and it’s ok to relax. This is why when you think, “I’m over that now.”, and can’t work out why you still feel so exhausted it’s because you’ve made changes to your external environment but not your internal habits and behaviours. You need to signal your body that you ARE safe. The danger IS over. You need to allow your body to process through the emotions, because if you don’t, you’ll likely stay in an emotionally burnout state being triggered time and time again. But, nothing changes if nothing changes right? Here are three steps you can start today to release the emotional exhaustion and lighten the mental load that can lead to burnout.
Emotional exhaustion and carrying the mental load are real. And remember, there are strategies and practices to assist, and I’m always here to help whether through my YouTube channel, blogs, or programs.
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Processing Frustration + Fear (Covid-19)10/7/2020 Essentially this for my fellow Victorian's... but wherever you are in Australia, or around the world, you may find also value in this message. I am feeling Victoria's collective frustration at our state government and the people in question who did certain things during the COVID-19's first lock down which has now prolonged our experience and thrown us into a wave 2. I have connected with so many new women on my social channels and email list since the beginning of COVID-19 back in March. I am grateful for the opportunity to add value in my pocket of the world when I can with the knowledge I have on how to process negative emotions. Anger and frustration at our external world brings up a lot of anxiety as the worry bubbles up wondering "how long will this will go on"?! I know the turn of events this week in Melbourne are likely causing you stress, it is hard not to be consumed by the bad news and social media coverage. This is your reminder: We’ve gotten through ISO before - we can do it again! If you are like me, and have been feeling all the feels this week as we move into this 6 weeks of ISO... then I want to share with you the simple tools I use to help when the fear and frustration hits:
We’ve seen other Australian states do it and New Zealand! They are showing us what is possible. We can too!
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Handling Relationship Conflict in ISO22/5/2020 Have you been feeling it ? That little (or big!) bubble of irritation coming up as you look at your partner or kids or house mates... who left this mess? Who's dishes are these? Where did that washing come from? Can you take the kids I am on a call? It's been a long period of ALL TOGETHERNESS during COVID-19. Staying home is what we need to do, and through doing the "right thing" our RELATIONSHIPS are being tested. We've probably never had so much time together in close quarters WITHOUT our external vices or an escape, have we? Small things that we took for granted like being able to hit the gym, go shopping or meet friends for a catch up are non-existent. In a research study I conducted in 2019 into Women's Stress and Anxiety in Australia the women who participated in the survey said that: "Downloading to a friend or family member was cited as the best way to manage their stress and anxiety, closely followed by exercise and scrolling through social media/watching TV". Our first two "go-to's" for stress release have been taken away, so I'm tipping we've gone ALL IN on the third one though without a doubt! ;) Which if you've read my blog on Calming Your Anxious Mind at Night you'll know the extra screen time has not been ideal for our much needed sleep. It is no wonder really without our external vices and with the lack of zzzz's that conflicts are arising at home. Behaviours or actions that wouldn't normally irritate us start to build up and really wear thin. The reason why? We feel constraint. And it is irritating. We are being told what we can and can't do, when we can and can't do it, and then we have to play the waiting game. It is so against our normal freedoms it feels like a friction. And who better to take that out on... than the people we love the most. The people who are also feeling all the feelz with us! We all know we are staying home for the "best reasons" but that doesn't change how it feels. And no one likes feeling constraint. No one. Certainly not me. I am unable to work and create and produce anything to my usual capability under home school and ISO restrictions. Are you? It is flat out frustrating. But, at the end of the day I know we are all just doing the best we can to get through. So, how can you settle the storms at home BEFORE a conflict arises? Watch below. In this video I share a few tips to help you get your mindset right, and relieve that tension before it erupts! A few simple tools to get your through working at home with your partner in ISO! |