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Are some people just LUCKY?12/8/2022 I have a question for you today, do you believe… some people are just lucky?
Do you believe that opportunities only come once in a lifetime? That your time is running out? Pressure to make big life decisions as you only get once shot? If you do… then I want to share something with you today. I had a conversation with a beautiful woman here In Singapore the other day and I wanted to share it with you. If you haven't caught up yet - my family has been living in Singapore since the end of March. We decided after living through the pandemic in Melbourne Australia it was time for a change, a BIG change. This woman reached out to me on Instagram and said “You are so lucky getting to travel and live and work abroad. I could never do that". And I replied: "Thank you, but it is not LUCK. Nothing we have created has happened by chance." It may look like I am the swan, swanning around on that pond gliding smoothly across the water. But, I can assure you that underneath the water I have been peddling my legs in momentum for YEARS. This is the outcome of doing the "inner work". This is what my peddling under the water actually looks like:
If you are feeling pressure, like time is running out, you might be in a fixed mindset that says "opportunities only come once in a lifetime". The truth is that opportunities come to us every day. And, every day we are given a choice. Are you running on autopilot, reacting and responding the same way you always have getting the same outcomes? Or are open to new perspectives, fresh ways of looking at life problems? If you need guidance here, a simple mindset shift can be created with this powerful affirmation: Opportunities come to me each and every day. I welcome new people and good energy into my life. I am excited for this amazing job opportunity and purposeful work into my life. Write it, speak it, repeat it daily for the next 90 days, and watch what happens. You’re beliefs, your thoughts, your words become the catalyst for all that happens in your life! I used this exact process in my morning routine for the past 90 days. I was feeling restricted by my dependent visa status here in Singapore being unable to work and coach the women I meet locally. Every day wrote in my journal and I focused my mind on what I really wanted. To help and be of service here helping women release their fears and anxiety. Then I submitted my application 60 days ago. I found out this week that my Singapore business entity registration was approved! It all happened easily and effortlessly! I am grateful and beyond thrilled for this outcome. All that is happening right now in my life is another reinvention of the next phase of my life, where I am the author. And there is nothing more empowering than become the author of your life. I reinvented myself at 39 years old and I became the master of my emotions. I worked with an incredible mindset coach and I let go of my deep seeded fears. I started living to my true beliefs and values. I no longer operated on someone else’s belief system or programming. In doing so, the world opened up to me and at 40 I changed career paths to help women rebuild their self-belief. And now at 45 my family and I are reinventing the world we live in by being here in Singapore, following what lights us up - and now sharing this experience and culture with our son. It all had to start with me. No one else was going to save me or create this for me. So, my message for you today - is that if you are unhappy with any element of your life - you and only you have the power to change this. Time is NOT RUNNING OUT. It’s time to stop waiting for your luck and open your heart to the belief that opportunities will come to you. You have everything within you to succeed, at whatever it is that your dream of. They key is unlocking your best mindset. Releasing the mental blocks that tell you - you can’t. Reprogramming old belief and fear stories and learning how to shift your negative self talk. In doing this, you will become free to be the author of your life. It's your time to thrive. Janel Briggs THRIVE MINDSET COACH
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Most of us are creatures of habit.
We do the same things day in and day out. We think the same thoughts, go through the same motions, and follow the same routines. And sometimes, this might not be a good thing. Every once in a while, we might notice that we’ve slipped into some not-so-good habits that we want to eliminate or change. We want to get into some good habits instead. Once identified, we look around and have a think about the new habits we want to form instead. We do the research and find the program. We invest the time, money, effort, and resources into creating, getting into, and keeping these new habits. We’re committed. All in. And then… BAM - Self-sabotage. Enter resentment, fear, and guilt We resent the changes and sacrifices and steps we need to take. We fear messing it up, failing, and doing it all wrong. We feel guilty for not doing it or trying hard enough. For quitting or not seeing it through (again). We literally, whether actively or passively, take steps to prevent ourselves from reaching our goal. Of incorporating the new habit we know we want. Is any of this helpful? No. Are any of these conscious actions and decisions? Are we actively preventing ourselves from making these changes? Probably not. Instead it’s more likely that they’re passive and unconscious. And the unconscious mind can be a tricky and powerful thing. Often running on autopilot, our unconscious mind wants to keep us safe, comfortable, and familiar. Changing habits is a shakeup of all three of these which is why we end up (un)consciously sabotaging ourselves and the very habit we’re trying to change. So how do we stop this? How do we stop self-sabotaging the good habits we want to adopt? Well here are 5 ways to get you going. 1. Identify Identify the habit you want to drop, alter, change, or incorporate. Is it getting up earlier? Setting clearer boundaries? Decreasing screen time? Whatever it is, be really clear on identifying the good habit and changes you want to make. 2. Resonate In order to prevent self-sabotage from even creeping in, you need to really resonate with the habit itself, and most importantly, the why. Why are you making these changes? Why is this new habit important to you? If you’re doing it from a place of comparing or wanting to look, feel, or be like someone else, then it’s not going to work. Your new habits need to resonate and sit so deeply within. It needs to come from a place of love and acceptance of yourself and your reasons for change. 3. Be Patient Shifting habits takes time. The habits you’re wanting to change have probably taken you months and even years to develop, and then months and years of practice. So let’s be realistic, shifting them asap is just not going to happen. You’re going to have to do the work. You’re going to have to feel uncomfortable. And no matter what anyone says, there is no magic pill, program, course, or hack. You simply need to be patient and… 4. Have Compassion Let’s be honest. You’re probably going to mess up. You’re probably going to skip a day, fall off the wagon, want to give it all up. But don’t! Instead, show yourself compassion. When you were little, you didn’t go from laying on the floor to walking in one minute. You learned to crawl, stand, balance, fall, and get back up again. Are you upset or hard on yourself because you didn’t get it straight away? Of course not. Remember little you and show yourself compassion. 5. Ignore Ignore the marketers, the doubters, and the haters. Marketers are trained and paid to know our pain points, the things we want to achieve, and the ways to sell us (and profit from) fixing it. People will doubt your abilities and perhaps even hate when you “win” or “succeed”. What they think doesn’t matter though. Why? Because you’ve identified, resonated, been patient, and showed yourself compassion all the way, and know why you’re doing it. Change isn’t easy. And creating good habits without self-sabotage can be even harder. So whether you’re at the beginning, middle, or end of developing your new habits, be sure to use your conscious mind. Be active and aware of what you’re feeling and doing. Write it out. Think it through. Talk to a supportive friend or coach. Realise that change is uncomfortable. Accept not everyday is going to be perfect. Say no to the negative mental chatter. Silence your inner critic. And remember your why. Everything I do is to help women like you thrive, so if you need support or guidance, I’ve got a few ways to help with this. My Learn to Thrive my morning journal gets you setting your day up to succeed by helping you slowly and consistently incorporate good habits. If you’re looking for awesome free value, download my 150 Positive Affirmations (the Affirmations are especially helpful in countering any self-sabotaging!).
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We all have limiting beliefs. They’re those pesky, damaging, and deeply ingrained thoughts that’ve been there for years. So long in fact that we’ve become convinced that they must be true. They’re not. Trust me. I’ve been there and come out the other side and want you too as well. So what are limiting beliefs? Where did them come from? And how can we get rid of them? Limiting beliefs reach across all aspects of your life. They’re thoughts or opinions that negatively impact your relationships, growth, and moving forward. They’re the little (or loud) voice saying… I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. I’m too loud, too much, too clumsy. I don’t deserve this. I could never do that. I know I’m going to fail. During my study of timeline therapy and Neuro Linguistics Programming (NLP) coaching certification, I came to understand, and now coach, that most of our core beliefs, or how we feel or what we think about ourselves, are language patterns and programming from childhood. They’re developed when we’re young from a particular moment (or moments) in time. Influenced by family, friends, culture, school, or society in general, someone said something, or you overheard something and, for better or for worse, you decided (consciously or unconsciously) to take on their opinion or label and carry it as your own. As your truth. You start believing what you heard. And over the months, years, and decades, the words become ingrained “truths” and limiting beliefs that end up adversely effecting and impacting your confidence, self-esteem, and self-belief. And as we humans tend to do, we remember these negatives much more than the positives, making so much easier to believe these un-truths. So now that we’ve talked about what limiting beliefs are and where they come from, let’s talk about two ways STOP and reverse these thought and beliefs about yourself. AFFIRM\NATIONS
Affirmation are essential in countering decades of negative programming, self-talk, and limiting beliefs. The three steps to using affirmations are personalisation, repetition, and trust. Personalisation Make sure your affirmations are specific and personalised to you. Start each statement with “I am…” and make sure they are ALWAYS positive. No won’ts, don’ts, or I’ll try’s. Think “I am brave” or “I am courageous”, not “I wish I was brave” or “I want to be courageous”. Repetition Repeat, repeat, repeat. Write your affirmation in your journal (you can get mine here). Record and listen to them on your phone. Put sticky notes up around your home. Write, read, and hear them often. Use the same affirmations day in and day out until you truly feel and believe each statement. Trust As difficult (and strange) as it might seem, you really do need to trust the affirmation process. While it won’t happen overnight, repeating your statements focuses the forces of energy to bring light to your desired result. Trust and believe good is coming your way and see the magic unfold. To help you get started, or continue on your affirmation journey, visit my website to download my free 150 Positive Affirmations list. DEEP (GUIDED) WORK While affirmations help you move forward, actually getting rid of limiting beliefs often takes deeper work. The key to this deep work however is doing it with guidance. Trying to “do the work” without guidance can be difficult, frustrating, and potentially upsetting. By having a safe space to discover your underlying limiting beliefs and be guided through a process to transform these into empowering new beliefs you become your own “inner mentor”, confident and able to go forward. So you’re not alone in the deeper work, I run a small and intimate “Silencing Your Inner Critic” group workshop every month. Together over zoom we work together for 2 hours from the comfort of your own home on:
Limiting beliefs are just that, limiting. While they’re familiar and known, they also tend to keep us surviving and not thriving. They keep us stuck in the past unable to make real progress forwards. Instead let’s get you thriving. Let’s get you working on reprograming your beliefs. Let me help you build unwavering self-belief and get rid of your limiting beliefs. If you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe to my blog and YouTube channel. Download your free 150 Positive Affirmation List or get on the wait list for my next Silencing Your Inner Critic online workshop so we can do the deep work together.
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Prior to 2020 and 2021, whether we worked from home or from the office, we had natural buffers and boundaries built around our pre and post workday.
Pre-pandemic, your day might have looked like this: Wake up, go to the gym, shower, dress. Eat breakfast, maybe grabbed a cup of coffee, then out the door for your commute to work. On the way home you had alone time in the car, train, or tram. Got petrol, picked up the kids, grabbed a couple of things from the shops, maybe even had an appointment of some kind (remember those?!). Can you see how these natural buffers in our schedules helped create boundaries in our days? Yes, you may have had a quick check of your calendar, scanned some emails, and thought about work before it actually starting, but you also had a set time to leave so you could get there on time. Your quick checks and scans had a time limit. They couldn’t go from “quick” and “scan” to “schedule” and “read”. And once you got to the office, you likely didn’t start working as soon as you walked through the door. Instead, you probably put your jacket away, had a chat and check in with your co-workers, went to the break room to fill up your water bottle, and THEN were ready to open your laptop for work. Again, see those natural buffers coming into play? Even once you were work, you STILL had some breathing space before actually getting into it. But then 2020 and 2021 happened, and most organisations moved to online/at-home workplaces. Your bed was your desk. Your home was your office. Your kitchen was your breakroom. Your lounge was your meeting room. It was nothing to roll over, reach for your phone and start reading and responding to emails. To walk into the lounge room, jump on the laptop and start working. No workout, shower, or breakfast. No coffee run, commute, or co-worker chat. And then there was the lack of real tea or lunch breaks. We started packing in Zoom meetings every minute of the day. There was no more “travel time” between meetings, so why not schedule back to backs? We may have even started working on weekends. We couldn’t go anywhere or see anyone, so why not keep plugging away at our projects and to do lists? Before 2020 and 2021, we had buffers where we allowed our brains time and space to wake up, start slow, and ease into the day. Then to wrap up, slow down, and ease back into home life. What I’m seeing more and more of in my work with clients, is that they no longer have set on/off office hours. They have no real boundaries or buffers before, during, or after work. And the reality of this is a huge negative effect on their mental and physical health, relationships, energy levels, and overall wellbeing. Can you relate? If so, and you want more energy and a clearer mindset, it’s time to get pro-active with how you structure time before and after your “working” day. Here are some ideas to get you started:
The key is to create space between work and home, so you no longer feel like you’re pulled from one thing straight to the next. You no longer feel like you’re rolling from one to do into the other, with no buffer or down-time in between. The habits, patterns, and routines you find yourself in today don’t have to be the ones that define you. They CAN be changed. They don’t have to be the ones you stick with. Start today or start tomorrow. Choose one boundary or buffer and (re)schedule and incorporate it into your day. After a few days of creating these buffers and boundaries you’ll feel more relaxed and in flow. Less stressed and rushed. More thriving than surviving. If any of this resonated with you and you’d like more tips on how to thrive, be sure to subscribe to my blog above, or take a look at my website www.janelbriggs.com where you can learn about my journal, coaching, and online programs. While some of these changes might feel a bit forced at first, the amazing thing is that we’re able to create new habits, patterns, and routines. We’re able to (re)create boundaries and buffers around our work and home life. ~ JB
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Almost half of those said they worked nearly TWICE as many late hours than the previous year.
And the number of hours spent working overtime? For many it went from 236 hours to a staggering 436 hours in one year. No wonder we’re all so burnt out! In my own work, many women and clients I’ve spoken to said this year has felt like one big emotional hangover, which often leads to… burnout. And the similarities I’ve been noticing? Emotional exhaustion + mental load = burnout Emotional Exhaustion Emotional exhaustion is the most common experience of burnout women feel and that I’ve seen with my clients during the last year and half. Whether it’s total exhaustion from the weight of conflicting, overwhelming, and repetitive emotions or the prolonged feelings of exhaustion, frustration, fear, worry, loss, sadness, anger, resentment, and even guilt, we’ve all been feeling it. The constant changes and adaptations. The cycles of change with feelings of little control over our lives. They all take an emotional toll. They all lead to emotional exhaustion often followed by burnout. Carrying the Mental Load The mental load we carry is not often as obvious as emotional exhaustion. But you know all those thoughts constantly swirling in our minds? The processing, analysing, overthinking? The monkey chatter and second-guessing? The doubts and fears? Well, this is carrying (and often being consumed by) the mental load. The mental load of our thoughts, worries, fears, and the stress that come from these patterns of repetitive (and often negative) thoughts. Of future pacing and staying five steps ahead. And then there’s the over-analysing… Have I done enough? Is there more I should be doing? Something I should’ve done? Something I shouldn’t? The reality of carrying these constant thoughts and beliefs is that is becomes overbearing, overwhelming, and exhausting. The mental load wears us down and leads us to burn out. How could it not? Making Changes Even after we’ve recognised our emotional exhaustion and mental load and made some changes, we often still FEEL burnt out. Confusing right? See when we experience chronic stress these feelings can trigger negative thought, emotions, beliefs, and patterns which often triggers our bodies’ stress response. So even if you’ve eliminated or eased the stresses and know things have changed your body never actually got the memo that everything’s ok. It doesn’t know you’re in a good place. You’re out of lockdown. You’ve changed jobs. It doesn’t know you’re ok. It doesn’t know you’re safe. Essentially what this means is that removing the stress doesn’t fully move you through burnout. Instead it’s your behaviours. Your behaviours tell your body things have changed and it’s ok to relax. This is why when you think, “I’m over that now.”, and can’t work out why you still feel so exhausted it’s because you’ve made changes to your external environment but not your internal habits and behaviours. You need to signal your body that you ARE safe. The danger IS over. You need to allow your body to process through the emotions, because if you don’t, you’ll likely stay in an emotionally burnout state being triggered time and time again. But, nothing changes if nothing changes right? Here are three steps you can start today to release the emotional exhaustion and lighten the mental load that can lead to burnout.
Emotional exhaustion and carrying the mental load are real. And remember, there are strategies and practices to assist, and I’m always here to help whether through my YouTube channel, blogs, or programs.
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Finding Balance through Self-Care20/7/2021 For many of us, (especially those of us in Victoria and New South Whales) we’re working our way through a really intense period where life and everything around us is pretty out of balance. We’re home more and unable to get out and socialise. We’ve probably been eating more, drinking more, and exercising less. Our usual Monday through Friday routines were jumbled since many of us aren’t actually going anywhere. And if you love and are inspired by your work like I am, you are probably working more too… and therefore way out of balance. Finding balance, for me, is really looking at ways I can ensure I’m making time for self-care, exercise, and connection, all three of which the topics I want to share and help you with today. SELF-CARE While self-care might look like expensive day spas or trips away, it can also be as simple as thinking about one thing you haven't done in a really long time that gives you joy… and then doing it. It could be going for a walk, swim or bike ride alone. Reading a book. Writing out positive affirmations or colouring a mandala (both of which can be found in my Journal). Catching up with a girlfriend (on Zoom!). Savouring a takeaway cup of coffee at your favourite café (and walking the long way home). Self-care will look different from one person to the next, so don’t judge yourself for what self-care looks like for you. And remember: Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. It’s a necessity. You cannot grow, give, or show up as the best version of you if you're doing it from an empty cup. Want a trick to help set you for successful self-care? Communication. Sometimes it takes communication with the other people we live with, to let them know about our intentions so that they can a) help us keep committed and encouraged and b) so they know our plans and can adjust theirs accordingly. Once everyone is on board and they know how important it is, your family will adjust and make it work, especially when they see how good it is for you (and for them as well)! EXERCISE Our bodies were born to move. Exercising and movement not only help our physical health, but they help our overall wellbeing as well. Book a timeslot in your diary, tell your family of your plan, and then get out there and do it. Walk, jog, run, ride, swim, stretch, lift weights (at home for now). Head to the gym (when they reopen), the ocean or park. Roll out your mat, get your yoga blocks, pillows and straps ready. Or maybe now is the time to try something new. A new activity (stand up paddle boarding anyone?), a class or online exercise program. What can you do that you may have never tried before? I signed up for online hip-hop classes to bring back some fun on there dreary Melbourne winter days... I'll let you know how I go! (lol). And perhaps most importantly ask yourself - what do you WANT to do? Because if you don’t want to do it or it doesn’t really light you up, the chances of sticking with it are pretty slim. So schedule in the exercise that will light you up and get you going. Here is a little video I did on this subject last year sitting in the thick of the pandemic... I feel like the message is 100% still true today! CONNECTION
We’re all humans here, and as humans we need (and crave) connection in some way. It’s also easy to let friendships and other relationships slip when we’re busy, feeling out of balance, or simply have kids and partners in our space 24/7. So here’s a reminder: you know those people who make you laugh, smile, feel understood, heard, loved and fill your cup?
Go for a walk. Have a picnic. Book in at your favourite restaurant for take away and have a picnic on the floor! Head out to the beach, park, or local trails when allowed. Try something new. Do the same old same old, just do something together. Not in the house! And remember, it doesn’t have to be expensive or massively romantic. It’s the time and connection together that’s important, not the actual activity or place. I challenge you to implement these three ways of bringing balance into your life by making plans to implement self-care, exercise, and connection into your day, week, of month. Schedule it in. Today. And tell your loved ones about your plans and priorities. Let them support you. And remember, I’m here to shift your mindset to THRIVE, so if you need additional help getting started or staying motivated, please comment below, check out my free value or subscribe to my blog to get tips like these direct to your mailbox. You can do this. Just pick one and get started! Take care ~ JB
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I had a client recently, who was struggling with imposter syndrome, can you relate? My client felt like she wasn't good enough for this role and her confidence had taken a hit after some disappointing feedback from a Manager she really liked. To be honest, her self-belief pillars were totally shaken. We worked through a short coaching program to rebuild her confidence by reconnecting her to the 8 underlying pillars of self-belief. Step 1 - We explored her genius zone, the way in which she does her best work, accepting and understanding her strengths and weaknesses The secret here is to list your strengths and weaknesses, and map it across to your work.
Step 2 - We outlined her values and she did a road map of her past career achievement, while redefining what her model of success looked like. The secret here is to identify what qualities are most important to you.
Step 3 - We explored her fears and found the root cause of it all was actually that she was frightfully scared of failure. We did a release technique in time line therapy to bust through her fear and we met it with forgiveness and acceptance. The secret here is to follow the fear.
Next, I suggested she use 5 x positive affirmations to help build confidence at work. A free tool anyone can use and start today. After just one session of getting really clear on who she was and what she wanted she saw her confidence start to return and her work anxiety lessen. That is the power of the mind! Ps. If you want to learn more about the 4-session coaching program I talk about in this blog you'll find it here -> CAREER MINDSET RESET
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As a Mindset + Business Coach, the question I’m asked most often is: “Janel, what’s the ONE THING I can do on a regular basis that’ll make the biggest positive difference in my life?”. My answer? 100% your morning routine. The things we do every day make a difference. They make a difference to our mental and physical health and wellbeing, to our mindset, and to how we head into and experience the day. It’s the “little things” we incorporate into our routines and practice every day that can make the biggest overall difference. Now the tips and suggestions I’m about to share with you probably aren’t anything new. Many of us already KNOW the practices that are good for us, the trick is actually DOING those things. Meditate, journal, exercise, eat well; we know these are building blocks to thriving and making us feel better. The difficulty is putting one foot in front of the other to get started… and then to keep it going. Sometimes the biggest block is that it all just seems so overwhelming… if I'm going to start a new morning routine, then it means I have to get up at 5:00am. Then I need to spend an hour and a half doing ALL THE THINGS to fill my mind, move my body, and get ready mentally and physically for the day. And next? Wham, there's an extra hundred million things to add to an already full morning. Enter your mind saying, “This is too hard. There’s too much to do. Forget it. No deal.” Now stop. First, don't think about the 50 million things you have to do tomorrow, this week, this month, etc… Instead, focus on what you can do TODAY. Focus on the one LITTLE thing you can do today, that can be incorporated and repeated tomorrow, and the day after. Focus on the ONE THING you can do today, incorporate it slowly and gently into your morning, and then become consistent at it over time. If you have one of my Learn to Thrive journals you know all about incorporating small changes over time. I call the morning routine “Five to Thrive”, and once you’ve gently incorporated all five into your morning routine it will look like this:
Now you try. Start with waking up just 10 minutes earlier tomorrow and choosing ONE THING (not ALL the things!) to add in. After you’ve chosen this one thing, do it consistently for the next 30 days. Do this one thing (and only this one thing!) until you’re comfortable with it. Only when you’re comfortable with it is it time to incorporate something else. So now that you’re comfortable with it, the next day you get up another 10 minutes earlier, and add ONE more thing, commit to it for the next 30 days, and so on. Does this seem slow? Maybe. But see it’s all about baby steps and simplicity. No complexity and no overwhelm. We’re aiming for one thing to be incorporated slowly and steadily over time. And the compound effect of this gentle routine on your mindset? Trust me, it is truly, truly incredible. Watch full video here for more tipsYou start feeling more comfortable and confident in yourself and in your days. You wake up each morning, practice your routine and eventually find that you feel amazing. You feel amazing and your days and weeks and months are running smoother because you've been meditating every day, been writing in your journal every day, been moving your body every day, been eating a nutritious breakfast every day, been listening to music every day.
This compound effect of all these “little things”? AMAZING! Feeling motivated to get started? Do it! Not so motivated? Don’t wait! Why? Because you may never feel motivated to start, especially if it’s something new (or involves getting up earlier). Instead, take the leap, set your alarm, and jump in. Choose the one thing you’re going to start with and just start. Will it be easy? Maybe. That’s why taking gentle steps over time helps. But sometimes however you might need additional support along this morning routine journey. If this is the case, follow me at janelbriggs_thrive on Instagram and see how I use the "five to thrive " method or simply email me, hello@janelbriggs.com - I'd love to hear from you! Take care, JB
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Stress is everywhere right? It's in the work environment and home environment. It’s in our relationships with our partners, kids, bosses and colleagues. It’s in politics (hey there recent US election!), economics, world issues, and COVID-19. It’s all of THOSE issues triggering all of the stress our lives isn’t it? YES, these external elements cause us stress, but guess what? There’s another cause as well, and one that’s more hidden and personal. This is the (daily) stress that comes from our OWN destructive thinking. Our own fearful, doubting, criticising, and second-guessing thoughts. It’s our negative mindset and perhaps lack of boundaries.
Step One: STOP When we think these thoughts, or worse get them looping around in our heads, we need to STOP and not do anything at all. Why? Because this thinking often leads to feelings of lack, confusion, and discontent. We become paralysed by our own doubtful thoughts and the stresses that come from these negative and often looping self-talk. We stay stuck battling inside our heads all day. We feel and create that stuckness because we’re not moving forward and we're not moving back. We’re half in and half out. Not committed and not rejecting it either. And then we start with the shoulds. I should be doing this, I should be doing that… And then the shoulds build up… and then we cringe inside because we're unable to listen to the part of us that says, “Yes! Go do that thing that you want to do.” Enter Step Two: OBSERVE What if once you stopped you then became the observer of your thoughts? What if when you stopped you could catch that thought when it starts? What if you could catch it, observe it and work to reframe it and ask it where it comes from? Let’s try it. For one day (why not today?) decide that you’re going to be an observer of your thoughts. You’re going to catch just one negative thought before it spirals. You’re going to stop and follow it and keep following it until you know where it comes from. And once you know where it comes from, you’re going to explore it and be curious about why it’s here. And then you’re going to consider whether or not it’s a thought that tends to show up a lot in your life. Another thing you could try is catching that negative thought and deciding to reframe it to a positive thought instead. Reframe it by taking the thought from “negative” or “bad” so that its context is changed so you can see the positive, or at least the neutrality of it. Step Three: BOUNDARIES In working with clients I’ve learned that it’s important to help them set healthy boundaries around (for example) people in their lives that trigger them emotionally or in other ways. You know the people. The ones who are vying for your attention. The ones calling you and contacting you, needing you now, now, now. Everything is now. Everything is urgent. Well again, let’s try something. For one day (perhaps today?) try NOT responding to all those (non)urgent cries for your attention. Put your email on auto-responder. Let the phone call go to voice mail. Change your status to offline. Silence your phone (or at least the notifications). Choose one person, some people, or everyone to implement these actions and boundaries with. The important thing is that you protect your time, energy, concentration, and thoughts by building healthy boundaries to prevent that stress from creeping up. And Step Number Four: AFFIRMATION. You know I love positive affirmations, and use them daily in my journal and life. Start with one positive affirmation, just one. Practice writing it out and saying it to yourself or out loud. Now the trick with affirmations is to say them, write them, and use them daily. To repeat. Repeat. Repeat until you believe and there is no doubt in your core. I want you to think, write, and say aloud one or more of the following:
Repeating your affirmation(s) is guaranteed to shift your negative beliefs and quiet the destructive thinking that so often leads to stress. After reading over these four steps, how do you feel? How do you feel about acknowledging the external stressors while also taking responsibility for your OWN stress-inducing thoughts? For reframing negative thinking? Setting up boundaries? Reciting affirmations? Yes, it’s not easy to do straight away. And yes it will take practice. Start slow, go gentle and know that you’ve got this. Now pop a comment down below or send me an email to let me know how you’re going or how I can help. Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter as well so you never miss any stress-busting learn-to-thrive tips again.
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What is your procrastination telling you?26/11/2020 Why is it that when we have so much to do, to run your business... that we sit and spin out wheels and do nothing at all?
To do lists a mile lone, calls to make, leads to follow up, deadlines looming like dark clouds. And we just can't get moving, zero motivation. Negative self-talk kicks in, and the anxiety. Procrastination would have to be the most guilt producing blocker on the planet! Why do we delay the work, when we know it’s got to be done? When we know working our business and client work is what brings in the income? Why is it so hard to jump in and tick things off the list? Procrastination is a sign of overwhelm. It is how our mind responds to the fact we are overloaded by the sheer volume of work and noise we have in our life. As a business owner the to do list is never ending. We become overwhelmed by what is required of us. There is the pressure (financial and other) of running the day to day business and managing life outside of the business. With so much going on it seems impossible to even choose what is most important, or what to do next. So, we procrastinate. It is easier to delay and postpone and find something else to do that takes our mind off all that we have to do. The issue with this however, is that it exacerbates the problem feeling we had in the first place. 4 SIMPLE IDEAS TO HELP YOU PUSH THROUGH THE PROCRASTINATION 1. Start Yesterday Prep your day, the day before. Write out your to do list the night BEFORE you leave the office. Make it the last thing you do before shutting down your laptop. List 3 things you do tomorrow. Just 3 things. Be realistic, this is not a brain dump of everything that you have circling your mind that needs doing. Sometimes your “to do list” of 50 URGENT items is the biggest trigger for procrastination. It is too overwhelming, where do you even start?! Instead, write a short list of your top 3 MUST DO’S. Remember: You can do anything, but not everything! 2. Start Early Studies tells us that your brain functions best an hour after you wake and is running at maximum productivity for the first 2-3 hours. Knowing this – find out when your peak productivity time is … and use it!
3. Eat the Frog I know it sounds like a strange concept (and now you’ll probably remember it!), but when you get to the office and look at the 3 things from your list ask yourself: What is the HARDEST thing on your list to do?
This concept shifts you forward into action, just imagine how productive you could be if you made “eat the frog” a daily habit? 4. “Chunk Down” Out of the Overwhelm You might be thinking “Well, I don’t even know what to write on my list I am that overwhelmed with what is coming at me right now”. When the brain fog is thick from stress and E V E R Y T H I N G feels overwhelming then here is a simple tool called chunking down, that will help bring you out of the overwhelm. Book 15mins of quiet reflection time, take a deep breath and asking yourself a couple questions to find clarity: What specifically is causing me to feel this way?
Chunking down allows you to get into the details and specifics of what is causing the overwhelm, understand what is blocking you and allows you to break it down into steps. Then everything doesn’t feel so daunting. Taking the first step helps you to kick start the momentum and push through that procrastination! |