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Do you ever catch yourself fixating on what is lacking in your life?
All the things you don't have... all the things that aren't going well for you?
"I don't have enough X (money, time, friends)
Why can't I have a new X (job, relationship, car, house, handbag, etc) like so-and-so?!?!
I never get the X (good opportunities, promotions, luck)"
Leaving you feeling unfulfilled, and on a constant churn of stress while pushing and striving for more?
It's easy to fall into the trap of longing for all that we don't have. I've certainly done it. Too busy looking over someone else's fence at what they're doing, instead of focusing on being present in my own backyard.
We live in a world that often emphasises comparison and scarcity; Social media is a huge trigger.
If you've been wondering, how to get out of this lack mindset and feel good about your life, you probably don't realise that you have a few things within your control today, that can help you shift your mindset. Even if you stay in exactly the same position you are in.
Here 's how to get started:
1) Cut Down Social Media
If you are following accounts that make you feel "ick" after scrolling, then mute these accounts for 30 days.
See if you missed the content?? If you did, then go back to it and re-test how you feel after a break. If you didn't miss it at all, and you noticed a positive shift ... then unfollow the account.
Social media's general purpose is for connection and entertainment. If you're not feeling those things, then you won't miss anything that was good for you!
(original source unknown, found Instagram @itssarahbryant)
I know, I know... everyone talks about gratitude. But that's because it works! Science tells us that when you shift your focus to appreciate what you already have, you'll feel MORE content.
"I am grateful for... "
Write down 3 things you are grateful for every day, on paper, in a journal, or your phone. I've even had a client who prefers to voice note her gratitude while she walks in the morning! Love it.
A few years ago I read a phenomenal book by Louise Hay, called “You can Heal Your Life”.
Louise is the grandmother of self-help books and the queen of affirmations and gratitude. One chapter in the book was really transformation for me. Louise talked about her own feelings of lack around money, and fear of her finances.
To combat this anxiety and overwhelm she use a small shift in language that had a huge impact. Each and every time a bill arrived in her mailbox; she would BLESS THE BILL and say:
"Thank you for the money in my account to pay for this bill. I appreciate this bill, knowing I have the funds to pay for it."
And, somehow she would find the money to pay for the bill, without stress.
Wow, what a concept! Even reading this - how different does that feel?
We also usually are not comparing apples with apples. We get stuck looking at other people’s success and comparing our apple experience with their orange experience! It just doesn’t make sense.
Celebrate your big and small steps.
“I am proud of myself for … “
Look around you right now. Where are you sitting? What do you already have around you right now? Little moments happen every day that are proof that you are on your way to abundance, look for them and celebrate those moments.
5 years ago, I used to DREAM of the coaching business I have now! Imagine if I had of given up … because I got stuck in comparison and lack? There was healing, learning and growth I needed in order to become the Coach I am today. It was all worth it!
Author Gabby Berstein in her book Super Attractor has this wonderful concept she uses for celebrating and focusing on abundance.
It’s called “Gathering Twigs”. You create a list on your phone and every time you have a win, something good happens, or there is a sign that shows you that you are on the right track, you write it down.
I did this FOR YEARS. And it works. Anytime I felt lack or comparison, I would start a new list. Looks like this:
Comparison and judgement lead to resentment. Resentment is like anger, it can be toxic and poisonous. It will eventually eat away at the container it is in.
If you are walking down the street and notice a woman with great shoes, and immediately you feel envy - compliment her. Either out loud to her, or in your mind. Sounds like:
“Wow, amazing shoes, I love them”.
If you are scrolling social media and notice someone who is celebrating and achievement and you immediate feel less than, or upset that you don’t have what she has – celebrate her. Sounds like this:
"Well done, that's amazing. Good for her getting that new (job, relationship, house xyz). I know I am on my way to getting that soon too."
See how different it feel?
Remember, your journey is unique. You can and you will get to where you want to be. Staying present in your life, focusing on gratitude and celebrating your accomplishments is how you will get there.
All the best,