AuthorJanel Briggs Categories
All
|
Back to Blog
Have you ever started a new habit, or made a big change to your eating and exercise routines, only to quit a or few days or a week into it?? You really WANT the end result, you know that changing your habits will give you that end result, BUT making those changes EVERY day just feels so overwhelming or exhausating... I think we that we sometimes forget that: Old habits take time to shift, and new habits time to form. Nothing happens immediately. Our habit self is formed through repeated past experiences. Continual repetition of the same experience over and over again biologically imprints the habit into our brain and our nervous system. There is a learning process for forming each new habit. We have to RETRAIN our mind AND our body. And it's likely that we may not get it right first time! As we've been operating on this same cycle or habit pattern for a very long time. Where I see the biggest mindset shifts need to happen for life changing success: 1) Reframing thoughts of failure to compassion If/when you fall off the wagon it's so easy to notch it up as a "failure". Giving the green light to quit and allowing all the negative thoughts in "you can't do this, it's too hard, why try?". But instead... Why not treat yourself with compassion? Accept that everyone slips up, and use it as an opportunity to learn from it. Asking: What is working here and what isn't? * Did you make the changes and process fun? Or did you dread it? * Did you look at the change as a great opportunity? Or as a punishment? * How could you make this process easier and more enjoyable? 2) Small steps, give us big results long term What can you do to make the changes less "overwhelming"? Did you take on TOO MUCH change at once and exhaust yourself? Instead of trying to make a number of BIG changes all at once, is there a baby step you can start with? Start small! Break it down, and build your habits in blocks. What is one step you can take this week? Focus on that ONE THING for the next 3-4 weeks until you get really good at it. Then, you add another step for the following 3-4 weeks. If your habits don't line up with your dream, you need to either change your habits OR change your dream. - John Maxwell The truth is, habit change ultimately feels hard because it requires us to break free from our automatic behaviors and deeply ingrained patterns. Our brains are wired to seek out familiarity and routine, making it difficult to create new habits and replace old ones. However, if we can approach the habit change with more self-compassion and make it esier with smaller more achieveable steps it is possible to create lasting change! By doing so, we can break free from old patterns and live a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life. If you have any questions or comments about this topic please reach out! hello@janelbriggs.com About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.
0 Comments
read more
Back to Blog
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, aimed at raising awareness on the importance of opening conversations about mental health to help release the stigma. AND always a great time to prioritise our own mental health check-in. Most women I've been talking to share with me that it’s been a crazy start to 2023. Post-pandemic life is as busy as ever, we are back to rushing and packing as much as we can into every day, week, and month. Juggling work commitments, family, relationships, and social life. Keeping everything afloat and as best we can moving forward. With our constant connection to technology and the digital world, it can be difficult to fully take a break and give our minds the rest they need to recharge our energy. I recently went on a mini break, adventuring to the remote Pangkil Island in Indonesia, where I consciously decided to take a 4 day digital detox, for my mental health. I had noticed the signs of verging on the edge of burnout after an increasingly busy first quarter of work (and life!). Even coaches need "mental health check-ins!" too. I actually couldn't remember the last time I shut off completely from technology. I don't know if I've EVER done it for a longer period of time that 2 days since opening my first online business in 2014. That's when you know it’s definitely time for a digital detox. So, I told my clients I would be “offline”, left my laptop at home, and bit the bullet! I put my phone on airplane mode for 4 WHOLE days. And, WOW. All I can say is that is was TOTALLY FREEING to not be "ON" 24/7:
Imagine that! Now, I have to admit I already have strong boundaries with my phone and technology. But I found being completely OFFLINE was sooo good for my mental health that it was surprisingly HARD to come back to the social media and online world after 4 days! I wished it could have be longer. The health and wellness industry tells us that taking a digital detox can have many benefits for our mental and physical health:
WHEN was the last time you took a digital detox? When did you last unplug from the matrix and reboot your system??If it's been a while, and you’re feeling exhausted, BUT find the concept of 4 days off the grid super confronting... here are four baby steps you can take for a mini digital detox: 1) Create a boundary around when you pick up your phone in the morning and evening Is 6-7am when you first open your eyes to a blast of notifications and emails the best way to begin the day? Could you not look at notifications until 8am? Could you turn off your phone for the night at 8-9pm? 2) Set time limits on your social media apps (you'll find this option in settings!) 3) Move all of your social media/email apps OFF your home screen to 2-3 swipe pages across If you're the kind of person (like me!) who cannot stand seeing a red notification and has to urgently actioon THIS really helps. 4) Pop your phone on DND for 4, 6 or 12 hours By setting boundaries with technology, we can improve our mental and emotional well-being, reduce stress, and increase productivity. You may not find it easy at firs to step away from your devices, but it is beneficial for overall health and happiness! Any step you can take towards a digital detox is going to be powerful, it’s a tool that can help you disconnect from the digital world and reconnect with yourself, your thoughts, and be more present in your surroundings. The ultimate goal is to create a healthier balance in our lives, where we feel more present and energised! Try one or two and reach out to let me know the outcome? All the best, Janel
Back to Blog
A loss of identity and a crash of confidence can feel confronting, challenging and weird (especially when living overseas!). But it is possible to overcome it and get back to you. When I moved to Singapore from Melbourne in 2022, this was not my first rodeo at what they call becoming a “Trailing Spouse”. In 2007, my then boyfriend (now husband!) took a promotion within our company and we moved to the USA for 2 years, our first experience with the expat life. The experience was all parts incredible AND super challenging for me. At the time we were young and free! Dual income with zero responsibilities (remember that?!)- no kids, pets or mortgage! We both worked hard and played hard. We travelled EVERYWHERE, said yes to opportunities, and totally lived it up the experience. But not long after moving cracks began to appear in my mindset and mental health. Trailing spouse depression and identity loss is absolutely a thing, that I had no idea about. It wasn't in the brochure! As a fiercely independent woman of 30 I had NEVER before “given up my life” and put my own aspirations (and needs!) on hold for someone else … who at that time hadn’t even “put a ring on it” yet, as Queen B would say.
I had all the negative feelings, while watching my partner THRIVE in his work and his personal friendships. As you can imagine, this caused a massive strain in our relationship. I had lost my sense of identity, my value and self-worth. I realise now I had put all my happiness eggs in his basket in the relationship, expecting him to be EVERYTHING for me 24/7. I wanted him to fix me! And make me happy! Of course, that pressure was too much. Thankfully, this was a wake up call for me, a turning point where I decided I needed to work on me. I enrolled in University and went back to study, and I enlisted the help of my first NLP Coach and began the journey of understanding who I am, and what I wanted. SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE EXPERIENCING IDENTITY LOSS:
Fast forward 13 years marriage, one child, becoming a Mindset Coach myself and surviving a pandemic - we decide to move to Singapore last year for expat #2. Suffice to say this time I was more prepared. I spent my first few months noticing common themes throughout conversation I was having with other expat women here in Singapore. Pandemic burnout, overwhelm from moving to Asia without a support network, and anxiety arising from uncertainty and changes in working visas were recurring topics at every coffee meet up I joined. I began hearing echoes of the SAME feelings that I used to have. So many women who had moved for their partners career were suffering from an identity loss leaving them with too much time to think and worry about finances in the future. Although very grateful to be in Singapore for the expat experience, frustrations were felt around being unable to work and the fact that they put their life and career on hold to support their other half. This was the catalyst for me deciding to expand my Mindset Coaching business in Singapore. To be able to help these women who are feeling this sense of identity loss. To support those struggling with stress anxiety and ever growing “imposter syndrome” that come with big life changes. New Life Phase A loss of identity can happen at any time it does not relate to age or gender. Experts reveal that it can be triggered when a person enters a new life phase that makes them question their basic understanding of self. Major events such as changing careers, becoming apparent, ending a long-term relationship or moving to a new place can be a catalyst for those uncomfortable feelings where you just feel a bit, well, off. Research shows that relocation is the third most stressful life event possible. On top of this according to an InterNations survey, it's the partner of the expat with the job who tends to be more susceptible to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety and who is negatively affected by the move. Typically, this is because they:
(Tick, tick, tick from my experience way back in 2007!) In the beginning, the expat partner tends to focus on everyone else's happiness and getting the family settled as the priority. Once the transition is complete and all the tasks are done the questions begin to arise what do I do now? What is my purpose here? Where do I fit in? Who am I? Feelings of resentment, frustration, sadness, and hopelessness can set in. How to Shift Your Mindset The first step to navigate any big life change where you're feeling this sense of identity lost is begin to shift your mindset and try to see this journey, or new phase of your life, as an opportunity for personal growth, development and expansion. Here are 6 key points to help you get started: 1. Choose Acceptance Finding a place of acceptance for the circumstances you're in right now is key. Remembering that if your mind is too far in the past thinking about all the things that you don't have, you will continue to feel stuck. If your mind is too far in the future, you'll continue to feel anxious by the uncertainty. Both thought processes make it harder to find happiness and be in the present moment. Do note that acceptance doesn't necessarily mean that you have to surrender or like the situation, but having a willingness to accept your circumstances will release the resistance in the mind that creates undue stress. 2. Create Routine Routine serves as an anchor. Predictable, repetitive routines are calming and help reduce stress and anxiety. Formulating a weekly schedule can help you feel more motivated, organised and productive. How you begin and end your day matters. Are you feeding your mind with positive information and thoughts when you wake up? Are you feeding your body with nourishing food of movement during the day? Are you getting enough sleep? 3. Embrace Exploration Use this time to discover more about who you are:
4. Connect Recognise that you're not alone in your feelings. It can feel daunting to build interpersonal relationships in a new country but connecting with others and sharing your emotions can be very healing. 5. Catch Self-Doubt When negative or unhelpful thoughts creep into your mind, questioning your value or worth, practice catching the thought before it spirals. Understand that not every thought you think is factual, and feelings are not facts. The mind has a protection mechanism that wants to keep you safe. Instead of believing and listening to unkind self-doubt call it out by asking, “Where is the evidence to support this?” or “What is causing me to feel this way?”. 6. Reframe Your Language The words we choose have a positive or negative effect on our mindset. If you believe it's hard and say to yourself “This is hard, I hate this, I don't want this” then it will no doubt be harder for you. Whereas if you use more empowering words such as “I can do this, I can overcome this challenge” the mind will be more open to change and all the possibilities. This article was originally published ANZA (The Australia & New Zealand Association) Magazine Singapore, March 2023 edition (pg 34-35). About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.
Back to Blog
How many times have you spent Sunday night dreadinggggg Monday morning? That angst beginning to build around 3-4pm as you start to realise how quick the weekend has gone and how soon you have to jump on the hamster wheel again. It may have even happened this week?!? As a Mindset Coach here are 7 things that I have learned to help relieve those Sunday night scaries and shift my mindset heading into the new week: 1. Do a "brain dump" Grab a pen and paper and for 5 minutes and literally dump all the thoughts and to do's you've got circling your head onto paper. If it's on paper these thoughts are more likely to stop circling your mind and making you feel overwhelmed. 2. Create a Weekly Plan So much of the time anxiety creeps in when we are flying by the seat of our pants... all the unknowns of the busy week ahead of us. Make a rough plan for the week, try not to fill every minute of your time, leave some room for flexibility. I also take 10 mins to cross check calendars and school events with my household on Sunday night so that EVERYONE knows what's happening that week. 3. Make Sleep a Priority The first thing I discuss with ALL my new 1:1 clients is sleep habits and how to get better quality sleep. Sleep is 100% a game changer for helping you become emotionally resilient to stress and anxiety. Aim to get into bed earlier on Sunday, with plenty of time to "wind down" - not to be confused with wine down!! Science tells us that every glass of alcohol before bed disrupts 15mins of our REM sleep, REM is the kind of sleep you want lots of to recoup your energy! 4. Turn off work notifications If your anxiety gets triggered by emails, texts or work messages coming in on Sunday night, then DND the work notifications. Everything can wait until you've hit your desk on Monday. There is nothing that will get by rehashing it at 3am when you're trying to sleep. 5. Pack the bags early In order to get 30mins for my morning routine (meditation, journalling, stretching, eating well) every week day, I have to be a little organised and cannot be scrambling to get my family out the door. This just ruins the zen! Packing the bags early and getting everything laid out for the next day 100% helps. If you’re single or don’t have kids perhaps use this time to prep your meals for the week or lay out your gym clothes. 6. Pump up the music Music is the answers to lifting and shifting any mood! Sunday’s nights I always put on a good playlist on Spotify and let the music fill the house with good energy. Whether I’m cooking, meal planning, packing bags or winding down for sleep music always makes me feel good! 7. Remember – everything that needs to get done, will get done No amount of worry and worst-case scenario planning will change the future. And no amount of overthinking the outcome will ever mean that it all goes to plan. Yes, be prepared, but release the pressure and trust that everything that needs to get done will get done. Just like it always does. And, if it doesn’t… life still goes on! About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram.
Back to Blog
Do you feel like you move through each day, month, year at the speed of light... but never actually achieve anything? I've been hearing this a lot from my new clients this year, like no matter what they do they still feel so far behind on those big life goals and dreams. Typically, when I hear a similar thought process a few times, I know it's valuable to share wider. So, I am giving you the exact tool I give to my clients in private coaching to increase their overall sense of well-being when goal-getting. It begins with a simple question: Q: When was the last time you celebrated YOURSELF and how far you have already come? The mind can so easily get stuck on "all the things we haven't done" or are "yet to accomplish". The ego telling us we are unorganised, lazy, and need to be "more productive". Essentially the mind's job is to assess for risk but, as you probably know these thoughts cause us to feel GUILT, perhaps like we aren't good enough. And guilt is 100% the biggest showstopper to any good action! Guilt creates resistance. We are less likely to do the things we want to do, when guilt is in the drivers seat. So, to cut the guilt and create more momentum it's time for a reality check. Here is the tool: At the end of each week take 5 minutes to sit and reflect. Grab a cuppa and a notebook and write down the answer to 3 questions: 1. What went well, or what were you proud of last week? |