One Step Forward, Two Steps Back Doesn’t Mean You’re Back at the Beginning

This week I had a 3-day migraine.

And if I’m honest, it scared me.

Not just because of the pain itself… but because it immediately reminded me of a version of myself I used to know so well.

The version of me who lived with chronic migraines and chronic pain every single month.

​The version of me who would spiral into fear the second symptoms appeared.

1. What’s happening?
2. Why is this happening?
3. Am I going back to chronic pain "me"?
4. Is this going to become my normal again??

And even though logically I knew this was the first random migraine I’ve had since December 2024 (a VERY long time!!!) … my mind still wanted to panic.

Because that’s what the brain does when something reminds us of an old painful chapter.

It searches for danger.
It searches for certainty.
It searches for proof that we’re somehow going to be  stuck “back there again”.

But here’s what I had to remind myself this week:

One hard moment DOES NOT erase all the healing, growth, work and progress you’ve made.

One setback does not mean you’re back at the beginning!

​And I think this is something so many women experience during seasons of transformation and personal growth.

You start changing your habits.
You begin to set boundaries for yourself and others.
You start healing.
You begin reconnecting to yourself again.
You feel stronger, clearer, more grounded.

And then suddently the worst happens... 

You have an anxious week.
You overthink again.
You emotionally react.
You feel exhausted.
You doubt yourself.
You fall into old habits or old fears.

And immediately the mind says:

• “See? Nothing’s changed.”
• “I’m back where I started.”
• “I thought I was past this.”

But healing and transformation were never meant to be linear. Growth isn’t a straight line upward where you never wobble again.

Real transformation looks more like:

1. Forward movement
2. Pauses
3. Triggers
4. Lessons
5. Regulation
6. Expansion
7. Rest
8. Then forward movement again (and REPEAT!!)

The difference is not whether you ever experience another difficult moment...

The difference is who you are now when the difficult moment arrives.

Years ago, when migraines and chronic pain were a regular part of my life, I didn’t have the support system and awareness or tools I have now.
​
Back then, I felt powerless inside what I was experiencing. Mainly because no one could help me understand EXACTLY WHY I was feeling the way I was feeling. It took me a long time to find the right support and enlist the help of my own body's intuition to get to the root cause and find a solution to my pain.

But this week, despite the major discomfort, I noticed something important:

• I knew how to support myself
• I knew how to slow down
• I knew what my body needed - REST!
• I knew who to ask for help and what to specifically ask for
• I knew how to regulate my nervous system instead of catastrophizing every thought

And perhaps most importantly… I trusted that this moment would pass.
That is growth. And growth isn't perfect. It dips, ebbs and flows.

If you're in a moment (or season!) that feels like a backwards step, remember this:

YOU WILL MOVE FORWARD AGAIN!

Be open to meeting yourself differently when you do. I think many women unknowingly measure healing by asking:

From : “Why is this still happening to me?”

But a far more powerful question is:

To : “How can I support myself through this?”

• What do I need right now?
• What would help me feel safe, comfortable, more certain?
• What would help me feel grounded?
• Who can I lean on?
• What tools have helped me before?
• What is the most important thing I need?

Because transformational change often requires us to stop identifying with the old version of ourselves every time life gets hard.

A difficult week does not mean you are broken.
A setback does not mean you failed.
An emotional dip does not erase your progress.
It simply means you are human.

And sometimes the greatest sign of healing is not that you never fall backwards emotionally…

It’s that you no longer stay there.
You recover faster.
You become more self-aware.
You stop abandoning yourself during hard moments.
You stop turning temporary setbacks into permanent identities.

One step forward and two steps back can still be progress if you keep moving.
Because you are not the same woman you were before.

You’ve learned.
You’ve grown.
You’ve built emotional tools, awareness and resilience along the way.

And even if this season feels heavy right now, that doesn’t mean you’re stuck there forever.

You’ve already proven to yourself that you can move forward before!!
You will move forward again.

What is within my control today?

​-Janel Briggs

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Work with Janel