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Or the future you had carefully mapped out... suddenly doesn’t look anything like you expected.And then sometimes, nothing dramatic happens at all. You simply wake up one day and think: I don’t actually know who I am anymore I know this feeling incredibly well. I’ve reinvented my life more times than I ever expected to! I spent 15 years building a successful corporate career. I moved countries, became an expat, moved home again, became a mother, experienced burnout, left the career I'd built my identity around in my 30's, started a completely new venture into Coaching at 40, AND then moved countries again (twice!!). There have been several points in my life where the version of me I knew simply didn't fit anymore. What I've learned, both personally and professionally through coaching women navigating their own big transitions ove the last 8 years is that feeling lost after a major life change doesn't necessarily mean you've lost yourself. Sometimes it means you're in that uncomfortable void between versions of yourself. Why major life changes can shake your identityWe tend to think our 'identity' is simply who we are. But so much of our identity becomes attached to our circumstances. I'm a manager. I'm a wife. I'm a mother. I'm the eldest in my family. I'm the dependable one. I'm the problem solver person everyone comes to. I'm the high-achiver. This is what my life looks like. Then life changes. Suddenly some of those familiar reference points disappear... and without them, we can feel strangely untethered! One of the biggest mistakes I see women make during this stage is desperately trying to get back to who they were before. But is it really helping by looking at your life in the rearview mirror? What if you're not supposed to go backwards? What if the question isn't “How do I get the old me back?” but “Who am I becoming now?” That's a completely different conversation. 1. Separate who you ARE from the roles you playTry finishing this sentence:
Notice what comes up. Do you immediately list your roles? Mother. Wife. Executive. Business owner. Daughter. Friend. Those things are important, but they're not the entirety of you. Ask yourself:
This is where you start finding the thread connecting the old you to the woman you're becoming. 2. Revisit your valuesWhen my clients tell me they feel lost, one of the first places I look is their 'values'. Your values are the deeper part of you that tends to remain relatively constant, even when your circumstances, roles and identity are shifting. They’re your internal compass - the things that fundamentally matter to you and help guide the way you want to live. Because sometimes you've ticked all the boxes and built a perfectly good life BUT... it simply no longer fits what matters most to you. Your values will evolve, that's what no one tells us. The things you wanted at 25yo may not be what you want at 45yo! Success may once have meant the title, salary or next promotion. Now it might mean freedom, connection, adventure, creativity, peace, purpose. Ask yourself:
3. Pay attention to what gives you your spark backNotice what lights you up. What conversations could you have for hours? What do you look forward to? Where do you feel curious? Who brings out a version of you that you like? What have you stopped doing because life became too busy, responsible or predictable? Side note: You don't need to suddenly quit your job and move to Bali to find the solution. Start smaller: Quiet the external noise. And if you cant do that, book a solo trip. Try the class. Call the friend. Wear the thing. Apply for the opportunity. Go somewhere new. Do something purely because you want to! Rediscovering yourself doesn't happen entirely through thinking. Sometimes you have to EXPERIENCE yourself again. 4. Stop waiting to feel 100% certain or for every question in your mind to have the perfect answerWhen you've lost confidence in yourself, it's tempting to think: Once I know exactly what I want, I'll take action. But confidence rarely works that way. Action builds evidence. Evidence builds self-trust. Self-trust builds confidence. You don't need a ten-year plan. You need the next small decision that feels aligned. Then another. Then another. 5. You aren't starting again from scratchWhen one chapter ends, it can feel like you're starting all over again. But, you're not. You're bringing everything with you. Every career experience. Every relationship. Every mistake. Every city you've lived. Every hard season. Every person you've shared space with. Every boundary you learned to set. Every time life didn't work out the way you'd planned AND you figured it out anyway! The goal isn't to erase the old version of yourself. It's to take everything she's learned and decide what comes with you into your next chapter. And maybe that's what finding yourself again really is. Not returning to who you were. But finally giving yourself permission to discover who you are now. - Janel Briggs Ready to Rediscover Your Spark?If you're in that messy middle, where the old version of your life no longer fits but you're not quite sure what comes next Rediscover Your Spark is my 8-week identity and mindset coaching program designed to help you reconnect with yourself, rebuild self-trust and create clarity around your next chapter.  I first wrote about this experience back in 2023, after moving to Singapore and seeing how many women were struggling with identity loss following a major life transition. I shared some of those insights with ANZA Magazine in 'Feeling Lost in Life? in hope of helping other Expat's in similar situations. 
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