How to Build Self-Trust and Make Confident Decisions as a New Leader

During a recent leadership coaching session, one of my clients, a highly capable, intelligent woman new to a management role—shared something powerful.

When I asked what her biggest roadblock was to feeling confident as a leader, she said:

“I always doubt myself. I worry that I don’t make good decisions.”

That statement stopped us both in our tracks.

Decision-making is at the heart of leadership. Yet when self-doubt takes over, hesitation creates confusion, delays action, and builds anxiety. Over time, it can even erode trust—both in yourself and from your team.

I followed up by asking, “How long have you felt this way about your decision-making?”

​Without hesitation, she replied, “My whole life”.

How Limiting Beliefs Form in High-Achieving Women

Language patterns, especially the negative ones we repeat often reveal the root cause of our most persistent challenges.

“The words we use to describe our fears often reflect our deeper inherited belief system.” —Mark Wolynn, Inherited Family Trauma

​When we explored deeper, my client’s language uncovered a core limiting belief around decision-making. One likely shaped by past experiences or subtle messaging that said:

• “I can’t trust myself to make good decisions.”
• “If I make a wrong decision, I’ll be judged or seen as a failure.”
• “I feel pressure when I have to make decisions.”

This belief had quietly sabotaged her leadership confidence for years. It created hesitation, second-guessing, and kept her from showing up as the decisive, grounded leader she truly was.

And here’s the truth — this limiting belief is incredibly common among high-achieving women.

From my experience as a mindset and confidence coach, I often see how past mistakes, criticism, or even the opinions of others plant seeds of self-doubt that undermine leadership capability for years—sometimes decades.

Over time, that seed becomes a core belief that shapes identity:

“I can’t trust myself. I don’t make good decisions.”

Why Self-Trust Matters in Leadership

A lack of self-trust doesn’t just affect your confidence, it influences every decision you make as a leader. It fuels hesitation, delays, and reliance on external validation. Slowly, it chips away at your authority and your team’s trust in your leadership.

But here’s what I want every woman in leadership (or aspiring to be) to know:

👉🏼 Making good decisions isn’t a gift. It’s a skill.

And like any skill, it can be learned, practiced, and strengthened—with the right mindset, awareness, and tools.

In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), we understand that your core beliefs shape your behaviors. If you believe you’re not good at making decisions:
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• Your brain unconsciously looks for evidence to reinforce that belief
• You hesitate, overthink, and delay action
• You convince yourself you need more research or more experience before acting.
• You seek unnecessary validation from others, adding to the confusion.
• And you unknowingly prove that belief true—again and again

But when you reframe the belief to something empowering “I am learning to make strong, aligned decisions with confidence” everything begins to shift.

Why Reframing Matters for Leadership Confidence

When a leader is indecisive, it ripples through the team. Projects stall. Communication breaks down. Trust weakens.
But when a leader steps into certainty and self-trust—even when the path isn’t perfect, it builds momentum. It inspires confidence in others. It models resilience and accountability.
That’s why reframing limiting beliefs around decision-making isn’t just about you, it’s about everyone who looks to you for guidance and vision.

5 NLP-Inspired Coaching Strategies to Strengthen Your Decision-Making Muscle

1. Get Clear on What Success Looks Like for You and Your Team

Many poor decisions come from a lack of clarity about what success truly means. As a leader, it’s not just about what you want. It’s about creating a shared definition your team can rally behind.

Ask yourself:

• What outcome do we truly want to achieve as a team?
• How does this decision align with our values and bigger objectives?
• If fear of judgment wasn’t a factor, what would be the most impactful choice?

When clarity and communication are strong, your team moves forward with alignment and confidence.

2. Separate Emotion from Evidence
First, calm your emotions. When fear, pressure, or anxiety are high, your nervous system hijacks rational thinking.

Step away. Take a few deep breaths or a short walk. A calm body creates a clear mind.
Then try this NLP reframe:

Think of a mentor or wise woman you admire—someone grounded and calm under pressure. Step into her shoes.
Ask:

• How would she see this situation?
• What decision would she make if she were in my place?

When you shift perspective and regulate your emotions, clarity returns and the best path forward becomes obvious.

3. Write a Pro/Con List But Make It Strategic

This isn’t just about listing positives and negatives. As a leader, your choices impact people, culture, and outcomes.

For each option, ask:

• What are the short- and long-term benefits or risks?
• How will this impact my team, values, and overall goals?
• Which choice aligns best with our strategic direction?

This process blends logic and intuition—two essential leadership tools for confident decision-making.

4. Weigh All Options (Even the Uncomfortable Ones)

Sometimes the best decision is the one you’re avoiding. It might involve confrontation, change, or saying no and that’s okay.

Ask yourself:

“What option would I consider if I knew I couldn’t fail?”

Exploring discomfort builds courage. Great leaders make aligned decisions, even when the answer feels risky.

5. Consider the People Impacted

Strong leadership decisions are made in context. They take into account the people affected - your team, clients, or community.

Ask:

• What matters most to those impacted by this decision?
• How can I align my choice with their priorities without compromising my own values?

​This is emotional intelligence in action—the foundation of trust and sustainable leadership.

Leadership Confidence Comes From Self-Trust

Here’s what I told my client at the end of our session:

“You’ve already made countless good decisions. You just haven’t always stopped to celebrate them. Every time you trust yourself and act with clarity, that old belief ‘I don’t make good decisions’ loses its grip.”

Leadership isn’t about never making mistakes. It’s about learning to trust yourself through the process.

You’re allowed to learn as you go. You’re allowed to get it wrong. That doesn’t make you a poor decision-maker—it makes you a growing leader.

When you build self-trust, you not only make stronger decisions - you model confidence, courage, and resilience for everyone who looks to you for guidance.
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If you’re ready to break the cycle of overthinking and self-doubt, my Next Level You 8-session coaching program is designed to help women build deep self-trust and confidence from the inside out.

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