ChatGPT Is Not Your Best Life Coach

I have a confession to make... I use ChatGPT ALL the time.

As a one-woman business, it has honestly been a game changer. I’ve used it to troubleshoot tech problems, help me to do my own bookkeeping, make SEO updates to my website, proof read my content, work through systems issues and even audit my annual business expenses.

It has saved me TIME, MONEY and more than a few hours of wanting to throw my laptop out the window when something 'techy' stops working!

So please know - this isn’t an anti-AI post. Far from it.
​​

There’s one thing I don’t believe ChatGPT can EVER replace: 
A GREAT COACH

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Are more answers, more options and more data going to give you clarity or...?

In coaching this year, I’m increasingly seeing women come to me after using AI to try to answer some pretty enormous life questions.

The usual 'I'm having a lifequake' kind of questions:

• Should I leave my job or should I change careers? (is the grass greener)
• Should I stay or eave my relationship?
• Should I move to another city - or another country?
• Should I have a baby or will I be happy without a family?

By the time they get to me, they’ve often asked ChatGPT every possible version of the question and been given every million possible scenario.

They've researched and created the pros and cons lists.
They've analysed the different options and scenarios.
They've considered what MIGHT happen if they choose plan A, B or C.

And you’d think having all that information at their fingertips would actually make them feel clearer about the decision.

​BUT IT DOESN'T - sometimes it does the exact opposite!

WHEN AI GIVES YOU =
​OVERWHELM x 1000

Women are coming to me even MORE overwhelmed about their big life decisions than when they started!

The first thing we do in coaching, is work on 'calming the overwhelm' and quieting all that noise. 

Because for an overthinker, perfectionist or someone already TERRIFIED of making the wrong decision, more information doesn't necessarily create a clear path forward.

Sometimes more information simply becomes MORE material to overthink. And I can tell you "a confused mind will always say NO and procrastinate the decision".

And eventually, you can find yourself in analysis paralysis searching for the one final piece of information that will make the decision feel completely safe.

​Except it rarely exists.​

The issue with using AI as your coach: 
​ChatGPT only knows what you tell it

This is one of the biggest limitations I see when we use AI as a substitute for coaching.
ChatGPT can respond incredibly well to the information you give it.

But it can't always notice what you're not telling it.

A coach is trained to hear the hesitation or enthusiasm in the inflection of your voice when you talk about one particular option.

We can notice that your energy completely shifts when you talk about something you supposedly do or don't want.

We might stop you and say: “Hang on. That's the third time you've said that. What's underneath it? What do you mean by that”

We can notice contradictions. Patterns. Avoidance. The story you've been repeating for years without even realising it's a story.

And sometimes, the throwaway comment you make halfway through a conversation turns out to be the thing we actually need to talk about.

​That's difficult to put into an AI prompt.

As a coach, my job is to help you get fully aligned with the goals and decisions that best serve you and the life you want to create. Not to tell you what those goals or decisions should be.

Are you looking for Clarity?
​Or REASSURANCE?

There's another problem with asking AI to make our biggest decisions.

If ChatGPT gives you an answer you don't particularly like… you can literally close the chat and ask again(!).

You can change the wording.
Add another piece of information.
Present the situation slightly differently.
Ask it to reconsider.

And eventually... there's a danger that we're no longer using AI to help us think.
We're using it to find reassurance for the answer we already want.

This isn't particularly new human behaviour, by the way.

We've already been asking five friends the same question until someone finally gives us the answer we wanted for years!

​AI just gives us a considerably more efficient way of doing it now.

The real question often isn't:
“What should I do?"

When I'm coaching someone through a big life decision, my job isn't to be the expert with all the answers OR to tell her which option to choose.

In fact, often the decision itself isn't where we need to start.

We need to understand WHY making it feels so difficult?

• What's underneath the indecision?
• Fear of getting it wrong?
• Fear of disappointing someone?
• Perfectionism?
• Guilt? 
• Expectations? Or a belief about who you're supposed to be doing?
• Resentment?

Or perhaps you've spent so long doing what everyone else needs and expects that you've genuinely lost touch with what you want.

That's very different from another pros and cons list!

​And it's why some of the most valuable work you can do when you're facing a major decision is to stop searching for another external answer and start rebuilding your ability to TRUST your own intuition.

Three things to do before asking ChatGPT another question:

If you're stuck in a loop of analysing a big decision, try this instead.

1. Quiet the external noise.

Step away from ChatGPT, Google, podcasts, friends, family and everyone else's opinion for a moment. Ask yourself:

If nobody else had an opinion about this... what would I want?

You don't have to act on the answer. Just notice what comes up.

2. Get honest about the trade offs.

Instead of asking which option is “right” ask:

What will I gain from each choice AND what will I have to give up?

Every meaningful decision involves a trade off. Clarity often comes when we stop looking for the option with no downside.

3. Come back to your values.

Which option is most aligned with what matters to you now?

Not what mattered ten years ago. Not what your parents value. Not what looks impressive on paper. You. Now.

Your values become particularly important during periods of major change because circumstances can shift dramatically while the things that matter most to us often remain remarkably consistent.

And if you're currently in that strange place where you're no longer entirely sure who you are after everything has changed, I wrote more about that in How to Find Yourself
Again After a Major Life Change.

AI can offer insight. But it won't be able to give you the ACCOUNTABILITY for lasting change

I think AI is extraordinary, what an interesting era we're living in! I'll continue using it in my business.

And I absolutely think it can be useful for research and exploring a decision, generating questions you hadn't considered or helping you organize a brain full of competing thoughts.

But my main message today is this: 

IF there's a point where more thinking and analyzing STOPS helping and feels really overwhelming, then the answer you're desperately searching for probably isn't sitting inside another prompt.

It's underneath the fear, perfectionism, guilt, anxiety or self-doubt that's making it so difficult to trust yourself in the first place.

And that is where the deeper work begins. Because AI can give you information.
It can give you questions. It can even give you insight.
​
But insight isn't the same thing as accountability for change.

And sometimes, you don't need another answer!

You just need the time and space to finally hear your own intuition.
​
​-Janel Briggs

​Ready to Rediscover Your Spark?

​If you’re stuck overthinking a big life decision and feel like you’ve analysed every possible option but still can’t find clarity, Rediscover Your Spark is my 8-week identity and mindset coaching program designed to help you quiet the external noise, reconnect with what you truly want and rebuild the self-trust to confidently move forward!

Start Here