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How to Silence Your Inner Critic15/11/2022 How often do you listen to the voice of your inner critic? Does the sound of this voice propel you forward in your work and life? OR does it hold you back?
What if I told you we have two voices within our mind available to us for counsel at any time. Your inner critic doesn’t have to be at the forefront running the show 24/7. You can learn to dial down that self-criticism and tap into the much quieter, more gentle voice. The voice that often goes unnoticed, the voice of self-compassion. Your inner critic is that annoying voice of negative criticism, that’s often playing on repeat. If you are new to exploring your mind an how it operates, your inner critic is that voice that tells you (on loud speakers) that everything you do is wrong. It’s typically fuelled by fear and self-doubt, speaking in a berating and belittling tone of resounding “you are not good enough” dialogue. It may tell you that other people are doing better than you, and that you can’t cope in difficult situations. It may bring up flash backs of painful memories of the past, and send warning bells of anxiety or blame you for things going wrong. It may even tell you that you will never succeed, or that you are not worthy of the job, role or relationship that you are in. The inner critic can be very convincing and sometimes even convinces the most successful person to doubt themselves. When you listen to this tone of negative commentary, you’re likely to beat yourself up over little mistakes and imperfections. I have a client who is very successful in her career, but also highly critical of herself. Achievement’s do not come without excess stress as a perfectionist who is anxious about making mistakes and failing. Her inner critic says things like: "You better not mess this up, then people will know you're not good enough” and “what if you fail? People will think you don’t have the experience”. In reality, and on paper NONE of this is true. But when the inner critic is on loudspeaker the worry and angst causes sleepless nights and health concerns. It's fuelled by fear and speaks in a berating and belittling tone of self-doubt. Your inner critic main purpose is to keep you safe and help you understand what can be improved in the future. It is part of your mind’s self-protection system, fuelled at its core by fear and unresolved limiting beliefs. It may even be holding onto memories of moments in your life or childhood where you’ve experienced criticism or taken risks that perhaps didn’t pay off. The mind never forgets and as it takes everything personally it continues pre-empt events that may happen in the future that could be similar. The inner critic says: “Don’t put yourself out there, remember what happened last time? That’s right, you were X (rejected/teased/laughed at/didn’t belong there)”. Sometimes this self-protection can be helpful - it might be useful to have an internal dialogue of caution or offer suggestions for ways we could improve our work, decisions and/or mistakes. But where the inner critic becomes a problem is when it takes up most of our conscious thoughts and drives us to self-sabotaging behaviours where we avoid taking action altogether. Your inner critic may be motivated by a fear of failure, rejection, or being judged. Perhaps you've had experiences in the past where other people have treated you poorly or someone really criticised you which made you feel judged, and your self-belief plummeted. Or, maybe in your family of origin failure wasn’t an option, winning and achieving was believed to be all that mattered so you thrived on this external validation. Whatever the reason may be for this fear of being judged or rejected by others, remember that it's only happening inside your mind. Your thoughts and beliefs can be changed. It might be helpful to ask yourself where this fear is coming from? Despite what your inner critic may say about other people's opinion about who you are as a person, everyone has their own unique talents and abilities—and you have so much to offer this world! It’s time to shut out your inner critic and tap into your voice of self-compassion. When you notice your inner critic begin to ramp up, a really simple technique to practice is to catch the first negative thought you hear without acting on it. Then take a deep breath and quiet that noise by tapping in for a moment to become curious and ask yourself: “What am I afraid of here? Is this a real fear or a perceived fear? What do I know to be true?” Then listen for the voice of self-compassion. It will be a quieter voice, speaking softly with words of kindness, and acceptance. “Compassion brings mental peace and mental comfort” – HH Dalai Lama Your voice of self-compassion could sound like:
You’ll then begin to have a completely different experience and a less stress fuelled outcome as higher levels of self-compassion are linked to decreased feelings of anxiety and depression. Here are some things you can do to silence your inner critic to hear the voice of self-compassion:
So, the next time you hear that voice telling you to give up, or not even try because you’re not good enough or you might fail – remember that you don't have to listen to that critical voice anymore! Instead, take a moment to pause, breathe and ask yourself which voice is talking? Always choose the voice of self-compassion.
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Is your best work, or your next career move being robbed by fear and self-doubt? Have you ever felt like you aren’t capable, or haven’t earned the right to be in the position you are in? Do you worry about whether you are good enough? In the current business environment where supply chains are strained, inflationary pressures are present and many businesses are going through some sort of change and/or transformation, the need for new thinking and ideas is vital. These challenges can present a fantastic opportunity to show entrepreneurial spirit to solve today’s problems and make a difference. However, the current environment may also be creating additional stress and anxiety due to uncertainty, and the prevalence of burnout and imposter syndrome. A recent global study conducted by Asana, for the 2022 Anatomy of Work report, surveyed over 10,000 employees to learn what’s working and what’s not in organisations. According to this research nearly two-thirds (62%) of knowledge workers worldwide reported experiencing imposter syndrome in the last year, with 42% of employees experiencing both burnout and imposter syndrome at the same time. Imposter syndrome refers to an intense feeling of fraudulence when you doubt your abilities, accomplishments, or skills. The mind often fearing a moment when someone is going to call you out, realise you shouldn’t be there, or you’re not capable for the role. Even the highest of achievers and most confident and intelligent people can feel this way. It’s not defined by age, gender, or experience level. KPMG Women’s Leadership Summit Report found that as many as 75% of executive women report to having personally experienced Imposter Syndrome at certain points in their career. The study also discovered that 56% have been afraid the people around them will not believe they are as capable as expected. Why is this phenomenon so widespread? If we look at the global external environment since 2020, we’ve spent over 2 years surviving a pandemic, isolating, and pivoting to work from home environments. Asana’s report found that almost one quarter of workers experienced burnout four or more times in the last year, and 40% of all workers think burnout is an inevitable part of success. Overwhelm from job uncertainty, increased workloads, and an experience of higher levels of anxiety due to the pandemic coupled with current inflation rates all impacting our daily lives. With a lack of connection to the workplace there are less opportunities to receive face to face feedback, read body language cues, and have open conversations to discuss challenges outside the zoom room. The mind can potentially have a field day analysing, overthinking, and rehashing every conversation and scenario of the workday. “Did I do enough? Was it good enough? What if I wasn’t on point? What will they think of me? Why was I not invited to that meeting? What if I don’t have the capabilities anymore? Will I lose my job?” The mind is a powerful tool but in some cases self-doubt and fear breed without external validation and connection. “With fewer opportunities to connect and celebrate success, remote work is intensifying impostor syndrome. Organizations should ensure that work is still being recognized and championed in remote environments on a daily basis, and that new hires have support structures in place to instil confidence.” —DR. SAHAR YOUSEF, COGNITIVE NEUROSCIENTIST, UC BERKELEY (Source Asana) Imposter syndrome is not incurable; you can become fearless by learning how to cultivate a growth mindset shifting your thinking when flooded with fear-based thoughts and feelings of incompetence. Coaching and training have been found to be two positive solutions to overcoming this fear. In a study done to evaluate the effectiveness of interventions for reducing the imposter phenomenon results reveal that coaching was an effective mindset intervention for sustainably reducing imposter phenomenon scores. Coaching improved self-enhancing attributions and self-efficacy and reduced the tendency to cover up errors as well as the fear of negative evaluation. Training was superior in regard to knowledge acquisition. (Zanchetta et al. 2020). Becoming fearless first begins with acknowledging when imposter feelings show up, then refraining from allowing the fears to hold you back or derail you from taking action. Here are 4 steps to guide you when facing imposter syndrome: 1. Recognise when the feelings arise, awareness always proceeds change. 2. Identify the specific fear or doubt you are feeling. “What specifically am I afraid of here?” or “What is causing me to feel this way?” 3. Review the facts; feelings are not facts. “When did I decide that I am not capable of (X)” or “Where is the proof this person thinks (X) about me?” 4. Reframe the thought process, using the power of positive language.
It can be very unsettling to discover that you’re experiencing imposter syndrome. Given the stigma around this topic, many people might feel like they just have to push through and suffer in silence. You don’t, and the real story is in how you face the fear to rebuild your self-belief. Connection and opening conversations at work are also key. You might even be surprised when you share your experience and people understand exactly what you are going through. Don’t let fear hold you back from your dreams and goals. Schedule a free consultation with me to learn more about what I can do for you, and how mindset coaching can help you, to overcome imposter syndrome. JB. ![]() About the Author: Janel Briggs is a NLP and Timeline Therapy Practitioner on a mission to support women across Australia and Singapore in healing their professional anxieties, insecurities and imposter syndrome to build unwavering confidence and self-belief. The goal is to level up your life and career by learning how to to live fearless and anxiety free! Connect with Janel on social media via Linkedin or Instagram. Click here to learn more about this life changing opportunity.
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![]() We all have limiting beliefs. They’re those pesky, damaging, and deeply ingrained thoughts that’ve been there for years. So long in fact that we’ve become convinced that they must be true. They’re not. Trust me. I’ve been there and come out the other side and want you too as well. So what are limiting beliefs? Where did them come from? And how can we get rid of them? Limiting beliefs reach across all aspects of your life. They’re thoughts or opinions that negatively impact your relationships, growth, and moving forward. They’re the little (or loud) voice saying… I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. I’m too loud, too much, too clumsy. I don’t deserve this. I could never do that. I know I’m going to fail. During my study of timeline therapy and Neuro Linguistics Programming (NLP) coaching certification, I came to understand, and now coach, that most of our core beliefs, or how we feel or what we think about ourselves, are language patterns and programming from childhood. They’re developed when we’re young from a particular moment (or moments) in time. Influenced by family, friends, culture, school, or society in general, someone said something, or you overheard something and, for better or for worse, you decided (consciously or unconsciously) to take on their opinion or label and carry it as your own. As your truth. You start believing what you heard. And over the months, years, and decades, the words become ingrained “truths” and limiting beliefs that end up adversely effecting and impacting your confidence, self-esteem, and self-belief. And as we humans tend to do, we remember these negatives much more than the positives, making so much easier to believe these un-truths. So now that we’ve talked about what limiting beliefs are and where they come from, let’s talk about two ways STOP and reverse these thought and beliefs about yourself. AFFIRM\NATIONS
Affirmation are essential in countering decades of negative programming, self-talk, and limiting beliefs. The three steps to using affirmations are personalisation, repetition, and trust. Personalisation Make sure your affirmations are specific and personalised to you. Start each statement with “I am…” and make sure they are ALWAYS positive. No won’ts, don’ts, or I’ll try’s. Think “I am brave” or “I am courageous”, not “I wish I was brave” or “I want to be courageous”. Repetition Repeat, repeat, repeat. Write your affirmation in your journal (you can get mine here). Record and listen to them on your phone. Put sticky notes up around your home. Write, read, and hear them often. Use the same affirmations day in and day out until you truly feel and believe each statement. Trust As difficult (and strange) as it might seem, you really do need to trust the affirmation process. While it won’t happen overnight, repeating your statements focuses the forces of energy to bring light to your desired result. Trust and believe good is coming your way and see the magic unfold. To help you get started, or continue on your affirmation journey, visit my website to download my free 150 Positive Affirmations list. DEEP (GUIDED) WORK While affirmations help you move forward, actually getting rid of limiting beliefs often takes deeper work. The key to this deep work however is doing it with guidance. Trying to “do the work” without guidance can be difficult, frustrating, and potentially upsetting. By having a safe space to discover your underlying limiting beliefs and be guided through a process to transform these into empowering new beliefs you become your own “inner mentor”, confident and able to go forward. So you’re not alone in the deeper work, I run a small and intimate “Silencing Your Inner Critic” group workshop every month. Together over zoom we work together for 2 hours from the comfort of your own home on:
Limiting beliefs are just that, limiting. While they’re familiar and known, they also tend to keep us surviving and not thriving. They keep us stuck in the past unable to make real progress forwards. Instead let’s get you thriving. Let’s get you working on reprograming your beliefs. Let me help you build unwavering self-belief and get rid of your limiting beliefs. If you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe to my blog and YouTube channel. Download your free 150 Positive Affirmation List or get on the wait list for my next Silencing Your Inner Critic online workshop so we can do the deep work together.
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Still (exhausted!) working from home?17/11/2021 Even though most of the country has opened up, many of us are still working from home. Some by choice, some because we always have, some because you’re not allowed back into the office. Before the pandemic I reached out to over 2,000 women on LinkedIn and asked if they’d be open to sharing their personal experiences on key triggers for stress and anxiety. Almost half of the women (46.8%) said their career and job were the number one major source of stress in their life, followed by relationships and money. “Volume of work being overwhelming” was cited as the number one reason for work-related stress. Considering this was before the pandemic, these results tell us that, as a collective, we were already at capacity before 2020 and 2021 hit us. We were already at capacity before the definition of work norms and “office hours” became almost completely distorted. Before the lines between “work” and “home” became even more blurred. Give these a go
Like any work situation, working from home has its pros and cons. One of the differences with working from home is that you can have (or take back) some control of the home/work life juggle. As someone working from home and working with women who work from home for the past 5 years, I thought I’d share some practices I’ve incorporated (with trial, error, and practice) into my and my clients’ “work day” from home.
Build it in After looking over this list you might be thinking, “Great ideas Janel. I’m going to do them all!”. Stop. Pick ONE change and do that first.
I want you to succeed with these changes so they become regular habits and routines so they help signal your mind and body that the workday is over. That “home time” is here (even if you’ve never left it). If you’d like help introducing and incorporating these changes into your workday (with accountability!), be sure to check out my new program Burnout Recovery, a 4 week coaching program to help you reset your daily habits and look at what is potentially continueing to fuel this exhaustion. Working from home might be your reality in the short or long term. Let’s get you in the best work-from-home flow so you can thrive in work, home, and life!
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Almost half of those said they worked nearly TWICE as many late hours than the previous year.
And the number of hours spent working overtime? For many it went from 236 hours to a staggering 436 hours in one year. No wonder we’re all so burnt out! In my own work, many women and clients I’ve spoken to said this year has felt like one big emotional hangover, which often leads to… burnout. And the similarities I’ve been noticing? Emotional exhaustion + mental load = burnout Emotional Exhaustion Emotional exhaustion is the most common experience of burnout women feel and that I’ve seen with my clients during the last year and half. Whether it’s total exhaustion from the weight of conflicting, overwhelming, and repetitive emotions or the prolonged feelings of exhaustion, frustration, fear, worry, loss, sadness, anger, resentment, and even guilt, we’ve all been feeling it. The constant changes and adaptations. The cycles of change with feelings of little control over our lives. They all take an emotional toll. They all lead to emotional exhaustion often followed by burnout. Carrying the Mental Load The mental load we carry is not often as obvious as emotional exhaustion. But you know all those thoughts constantly swirling in our minds? The processing, analysing, overthinking? The monkey chatter and second-guessing? The doubts and fears? Well, this is carrying (and often being consumed by) the mental load. The mental load of our thoughts, worries, fears, and the stress that come from these patterns of repetitive (and often negative) thoughts. Of future pacing and staying five steps ahead. And then there’s the over-analysing… Have I done enough? Is there more I should be doing? Something I should’ve done? Something I shouldn’t? The reality of carrying these constant thoughts and beliefs is that is becomes overbearing, overwhelming, and exhausting. The mental load wears us down and leads us to burn out. How could it not? Making Changes Even after we’ve recognised our emotional exhaustion and mental load and made some changes, we often still FEEL burnt out. Confusing right? See when we experience chronic stress these feelings can trigger negative thought, emotions, beliefs, and patterns which often triggers our bodies’ stress response. So even if you’ve eliminated or eased the stresses and know things have changed your body never actually got the memo that everything’s ok. It doesn’t know you’re in a good place. You’re out of lockdown. You’ve changed jobs. It doesn’t know you’re ok. It doesn’t know you’re safe. Essentially what this means is that removing the stress doesn’t fully move you through burnout. Instead it’s your behaviours. Your behaviours tell your body things have changed and it’s ok to relax. This is why when you think, “I’m over that now.”, and can’t work out why you still feel so exhausted it’s because you’ve made changes to your external environment but not your internal habits and behaviours. You need to signal your body that you ARE safe. The danger IS over. You need to allow your body to process through the emotions, because if you don’t, you’ll likely stay in an emotionally burnout state being triggered time and time again. But, nothing changes if nothing changes right? Here are three steps you can start today to release the emotional exhaustion and lighten the mental load that can lead to burnout.
Emotional exhaustion and carrying the mental load are real. And remember, there are strategies and practices to assist, and I’m always here to help whether through my YouTube channel, blogs, or programs.
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You are NOT Failing!23/9/2021 Unable to be five steps ahead of everything and everyone. No longer having that focus and motivation for exercise and eating to take care of their body. The truth is... YOU ARE NOT FAILING. You are living through a pandemic - GROWING and EVOLVING every day.You are learning more about yourself and the people in your immediate world, than you probably ever have before. The intricate details of …
And, if you have the pleasure of home schooling like me add re-learning Grade 2 to that list (argh!). This is your reminder, that real life will still be there, after the pandemic. And so will your dreams and goals. The body you are unhappy with right now, can absolutely make a comeback. The job that you cannot stand, might feel different when your office returns or after a holiday (or maybe it’s the push for you to make a change). The relationship that is causing you frustration, will hopefully look different when we can have more room to breathe and external outlets. And that goal or achievement that you set a date for and missed, doesn’t mean the goal isn’t worthwhile! Zoom out and see the bigger picture, perhaps there has been more to learn on the way to that goal you want to so much? In my map of the world, there is NO failure. There is ONLY feedback. Notching your failures is what keeps you feeling stuck, literally reliving the past with your mindset fixed on “I failed - it will never happen”. Where as a growth mindset says “What I can learn from, I can change” which keeps you moving forward (and feels so much lighter doesn't it?!) What have you had to learn, grow, heal or fix this year….? Answer that first, and then shift your goal posts. So, how do you get unstuck?
Side note: I really hope that if you are reading this and still in lock down that the only goal you are setting for yourself right now is focused on your health and happiness! I know your world being on pause is frustrating, I feel it too. Let's be honest - NO ONE is really achieving right now! I don’t care what you are seeing on social media. Everyone is hurting from this pandemic. Everyone is just doing the best they can to survive and make it through. And if they are achieving then I have no doubt that something else has had to give. I am a firm believer that you can do anything, you just cannot do everything to 110% all at once without a ball dropping somewhere! Take care JB NEW! Burnout Recovery Program
Break the burnout cycle and start changing habits for long term well-being in 4 weeks!
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![]() I had a client recently, who was struggling with imposter syndrome, can you relate? My client felt like she wasn't good enough for this role and her confidence had taken a hit after some disappointing feedback from a Manager she really liked. To be honest, her self-belief pillars were totally shaken. We worked through a short coaching program to rebuild her confidence by reconnecting her to the 8 underlying pillars of self-belief. Step 1 - We explored her genius zone, the way in which she does her best work, accepting and understanding her strengths and weaknesses The secret here is to list your strengths and weaknesses, and map it across to your work.
Step 2 - We outlined her values and she did a road map of her past career achievement, while redefining what her model of success looked like. The secret here is to identify what qualities are most important to you.
Step 3 - We explored her fears and found the root cause of it all was actually that she was frightfully scared of failure. We did a release technique in time line therapy to bust through her fear and we met it with forgiveness and acceptance. The secret here is to follow the fear.
Next, I suggested she use 5 x positive affirmations to help build confidence at work. A free tool anyone can use and start today. After just one session of getting really clear on who she was and what she wanted she saw her confidence start to return and her work anxiety lessen. That is the power of the mind! Ps. If you want to learn more about the 4-session coaching program I talk about in this blog you'll find it here -> CAREER MINDSET RESET
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Today’s blog is all about building confidence in the workplace and comes from a recent "Career Mindset Reset" session I had with one of my clients, who was looking for advice on how to feel more confident as she steps into a new role and organization. If you are struggling with confidence at work too - this is your lucky day! I break down my 5 steps to building your confidence at work, focusing on: time, skill, experience, reminders, and self-belief. 1. TIME Before you feel confident in anything you need time, you need a transition period as you learn and adapt to the role, figure out who’s who in the zoo, start building rapport with your colleagues and boss, and eventually settle into some kind of flow. You simply cannot expect to understand and know everything on day one, week one, or even month one. Learning and confidence takes time, so be kind and don’t rush yourself. Know that things take time, but you will absolutely get there. 2. SKILL If you're in a job, role or business where you don’t feel confident you probably have fears like:
In order to make you feel more confident and capable, first take a look and map out your skillset.
Now look at all of those amazing skills you probably didn’t even realise you had! Amazing isn’t it?! After mapping out your skillset, maybe you realise there are a couple of gaps. Yes? No problem!
Taking the time to map out your skills can help you see everything you already have to offer while also narrowing in on areas you might want some training or assistance with. 3. EXPERIENCE After time to adjust, and the getting to know your skills comes experience. You need experience and practice using your skills and skill sets, because there’s no way you’ll feel confident in something if you have no experience using that skill. You simply cannot expect to be confident and know what you're straight away, especially if it’s a relatively new or unpractised skill. Instead it takes trial and error, daily consistency, and sometimes failing or even sucking at things before you actually learn and have the experience necessary to build up your confidence. Take myself for example. I cringe at some my early mindset coaching videos, but I practiced and learned, and built up my experience so that now I produce better quality content that I’m extremely proud of. I have the experience of trial and error and reflection to feel confident in what I produce. It takes time to build experience, and that’s okay. People understand. And the more you do it and repeat the experiences you’ll build up that confidence. 4. REMINDERS I had a client come to me once and say, "I just don't feel experienced enough", to which I said, "How do you know you aren't? When did you decide? Is this your standard or someone else's?" The next thing I asked her was to create a career timeline and look back asking herself:
In doing this exercise there was a light bulb moment (there always is!) where she realised her lack of confidence was actually coming from her OWN mind. Seeing it in black and white she had the realisation that she’s already achieved so much and actually does have the skills and experience. She just needed to be reminded. 5. SELF-BELIEF Belief in yourself and your skills, abilities, and experience is my last tip in building confidence and helping you see that you ARE capable and anything IS possible. Like everything else, is takes practice to really get comfortable with self-belief, and positive affirmations can absolutely help with this. Writing affirmations in your journal, reading them to yourself, and saying them out loud every single day will 100% embed these positive affirmations into your mind and shift your mindset and confidence. Here a few to get you going:
If you're interested in exploring any of these confidence-boosting tips, I run a single two hour workshop called "Silencing Your Inner Critic" where I help women understand their major limitations and the power of self-belief. If you want to explore more check out my one-on-one coaching offering, comment below, or send me an email ([email protected]).
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As a Mindset + Business Coach, the question I’m asked most often is: “Janel, what’s the ONE THING I can do on a regular basis that’ll make the biggest positive difference in my life?”. My answer? 100% your morning routine. The things we do every day make a difference. They make a difference to our mental and physical health and wellbeing, to our mindset, and to how we head into and experience the day. It’s the “little things” we incorporate into our routines and practice every day that can make the biggest overall difference. Now the tips and suggestions I’m about to share with you probably aren’t anything new. Many of us already KNOW the practices that are good for us, the trick is actually DOING those things. Meditate, journal, exercise, eat well; we know these are building blocks to thriving and making us feel better. The difficulty is putting one foot in front of the other to get started… and then to keep it going. ![]() Sometimes the biggest block is that it all just seems so overwhelming… if I'm going to start a new morning routine, then it means I have to get up at 5:00am. Then I need to spend an hour and a half doing ALL THE THINGS to fill my mind, move my body, and get ready mentally and physically for the day. And next? Wham, there's an extra hundred million things to add to an already full morning. Enter your mind saying, “This is too hard. There’s too much to do. Forget it. No deal.” Now stop. First, don't think about the 50 million things you have to do tomorrow, this week, this month, etc… Instead, focus on what you can do TODAY. Focus on the one LITTLE thing you can do today, that can be incorporated and repeated tomorrow, and the day after. Focus on the ONE THING you can do today, incorporate it slowly and gently into your morning, and then become consistent at it over time. If you have one of my Learn to Thrive journals you know all about incorporating small changes over time. I call the morning routine “Five to Thrive”, and once you’ve gently incorporated all five into your morning routine it will look like this:
Now you try. Start with waking up just 10 minutes earlier tomorrow and choosing ONE THING (not ALL the things!) to add in. After you’ve chosen this one thing, do it consistently for the next 30 days. Do this one thing (and only this one thing!) until you’re comfortable with it. Only when you’re comfortable with it is it time to incorporate something else. So now that you’re comfortable with it, the next day you get up another 10 minutes earlier, and add ONE more thing, commit to it for the next 30 days, and so on. Does this seem slow? Maybe. But see it’s all about baby steps and simplicity. No complexity and no overwhelm. We’re aiming for one thing to be incorporated slowly and steadily over time. And the compound effect of this gentle routine on your mindset? Trust me, it is truly, truly incredible. Watch full video here for more tipsYou start feeling more comfortable and confident in yourself and in your days. You wake up each morning, practice your routine and eventually find that you feel amazing. You feel amazing and your days and weeks and months are running smoother because you've been meditating every day, been writing in your journal every day, been moving your body every day, been eating a nutritious breakfast every day, been listening to music every day.
This compound effect of all these “little things”? AMAZING! Feeling motivated to get started? Do it! Not so motivated? Don’t wait! Why? Because you may never feel motivated to start, especially if it’s something new (or involves getting up earlier). Instead, take the leap, set your alarm, and jump in. Choose the one thing you’re going to start with and just start. Will it be easy? Maybe. That’s why taking gentle steps over time helps. But sometimes however you might need additional support along this morning routine journey. If this is the case, follow me at janelbriggs_thrive on Instagram and see how I use the "five to thrive " method or simply email me, [email protected] - I'd love to hear from you! Take care, JB
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Stress is everywhere right? It's in the work environment and home environment. It’s in our relationships with our partners, kids, bosses and colleagues. It’s in politics (hey there recent US election!), economics, world issues, and COVID-19. It’s all of THOSE issues triggering all of the stress our lives isn’t it? YES, these external elements cause us stress, but guess what? There’s another cause as well, and one that’s more hidden and personal. This is the (daily) stress that comes from our OWN destructive thinking. Our own fearful, doubting, criticising, and second-guessing thoughts. It’s our negative mindset and perhaps lack of boundaries.
Step One: STOP When we think these thoughts, or worse get them looping around in our heads, we need to STOP and not do anything at all. Why? Because this thinking often leads to feelings of lack, confusion, and discontent. We become paralysed by our own doubtful thoughts and the stresses that come from these negative and often looping self-talk. We stay stuck battling inside our heads all day. We feel and create that stuckness because we’re not moving forward and we're not moving back. We’re half in and half out. Not committed and not rejecting it either. And then we start with the shoulds. I should be doing this, I should be doing that… And then the shoulds build up… and then we cringe inside because we're unable to listen to the part of us that says, “Yes! Go do that thing that you want to do.” Enter Step Two: OBSERVE What if once you stopped you then became the observer of your thoughts? What if when you stopped you could catch that thought when it starts? What if you could catch it, observe it and work to reframe it and ask it where it comes from? Let’s try it. For one day (why not today?) decide that you’re going to be an observer of your thoughts. You’re going to catch just one negative thought before it spirals. You’re going to stop and follow it and keep following it until you know where it comes from. And once you know where it comes from, you’re going to explore it and be curious about why it’s here. And then you’re going to consider whether or not it’s a thought that tends to show up a lot in your life. Another thing you could try is catching that negative thought and deciding to reframe it to a positive thought instead. Reframe it by taking the thought from “negative” or “bad” so that its context is changed so you can see the positive, or at least the neutrality of it. Step Three: BOUNDARIES In working with clients I’ve learned that it’s important to help them set healthy boundaries around (for example) people in their lives that trigger them emotionally or in other ways. You know the people. The ones who are vying for your attention. The ones calling you and contacting you, needing you now, now, now. Everything is now. Everything is urgent. Well again, let’s try something. For one day (perhaps today?) try NOT responding to all those (non)urgent cries for your attention. Put your email on auto-responder. Let the phone call go to voice mail. Change your status to offline. Silence your phone (or at least the notifications). Choose one person, some people, or everyone to implement these actions and boundaries with. The important thing is that you protect your time, energy, concentration, and thoughts by building healthy boundaries to prevent that stress from creeping up. And Step Number Four: AFFIRMATION. You know I love positive affirmations, and use them daily in my journal and life. Start with one positive affirmation, just one. Practice writing it out and saying it to yourself or out loud. Now the trick with affirmations is to say them, write them, and use them daily. To repeat. Repeat. Repeat until you believe and there is no doubt in your core. I want you to think, write, and say aloud one or more of the following:
Repeating your affirmation(s) is guaranteed to shift your negative beliefs and quiet the destructive thinking that so often leads to stress. After reading over these four steps, how do you feel? How do you feel about acknowledging the external stressors while also taking responsibility for your OWN stress-inducing thoughts? For reframing negative thinking? Setting up boundaries? Reciting affirmations? Yes, it’s not easy to do straight away. And yes it will take practice. Start slow, go gentle and know that you’ve got this. Now pop a comment down below or send me an email to let me know how you’re going or how I can help. Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter as well so you never miss any stress-busting learn-to-thrive tips again. |