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We all have limiting beliefs. They’re those pesky, damaging, and deeply ingrained thoughts that’ve been there for years. So long in fact that we’ve become convinced that they must be true. They’re not. Trust me. I’ve been there and come out the other side and want you too as well. So what are limiting beliefs? Where did them come from? And how can we get rid of them? Limiting beliefs reach across all aspects of your life. They’re thoughts or opinions that negatively impact your relationships, growth, and moving forward. They’re the little (or loud) voice saying… I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. I’m too loud, too much, too clumsy. I don’t deserve this. I could never do that. I know I’m going to fail. During my study of timeline therapy and Neuro Linguistics Programming (NLP) coaching certification, I came to understand, and now coach, that most of our core beliefs, or how we feel or what we think about ourselves, are language patterns and programming from childhood. They’re developed when we’re young from a particular moment (or moments) in time. Influenced by family, friends, culture, school, or society in general, someone said something, or you overheard something and, for better or for worse, you decided (consciously or unconsciously) to take on their opinion or label and carry it as your own. As your truth. You start believing what you heard. And over the months, years, and decades, the words become ingrained “truths” and limiting beliefs that end up adversely effecting and impacting your confidence, self-esteem, and self-belief. And as we humans tend to do, we remember these negatives much more than the positives, making so much easier to believe these un-truths. So now that we’ve talked about what limiting beliefs are and where they come from, let’s talk about two ways STOP and reverse these thought and beliefs about yourself. AFFIRM\NATIONS
Affirmation are essential in countering decades of negative programming, self-talk, and limiting beliefs. The three steps to using affirmations are personalisation, repetition, and trust. Personalisation Make sure your affirmations are specific and personalised to you. Start each statement with “I am…” and make sure they are ALWAYS positive. No won’ts, don’ts, or I’ll try’s. Think “I am brave” or “I am courageous”, not “I wish I was brave” or “I want to be courageous”. Repetition Repeat, repeat, repeat. Write your affirmation in your journal (you can get mine here). Record and listen to them on your phone. Put sticky notes up around your home. Write, read, and hear them often. Use the same affirmations day in and day out until you truly feel and believe each statement. Trust As difficult (and strange) as it might seem, you really do need to trust the affirmation process. While it won’t happen overnight, repeating your statements focuses the forces of energy to bring light to your desired result. Trust and believe good is coming your way and see the magic unfold. To help you get started, or continue on your affirmation journey, visit my website to download my free 150 Positive Affirmations list. DEEP (GUIDED) WORK While affirmations help you move forward, actually getting rid of limiting beliefs often takes deeper work. The key to this deep work however is doing it with guidance. Trying to “do the work” without guidance can be difficult, frustrating, and potentially upsetting. By having a safe space to discover your underlying limiting beliefs and be guided through a process to transform these into empowering new beliefs you become your own “inner mentor”, confident and able to go forward. So you’re not alone in the deeper work, I run a small and intimate “Silencing Your Inner Critic” group workshop every month. Together over zoom we work together for 2 hours from the comfort of your own home on:
Limiting beliefs are just that, limiting. While they’re familiar and known, they also tend to keep us surviving and not thriving. They keep us stuck in the past unable to make real progress forwards. Instead let’s get you thriving. Let’s get you working on reprograming your beliefs. Let me help you build unwavering self-belief and get rid of your limiting beliefs. If you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe to my blog and YouTube channel. Download your free 150 Positive Affirmation List or get on the wait list for my next Silencing Your Inner Critic online workshop so we can do the deep work together.
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Still (exhausted!) working from home?17/11/2021 Even though most of the country has opened up, many of us are still working from home. Some by choice, some because we always have, some because you’re not allowed back into the office. Before the pandemic I reached out to over 2,000 women on LinkedIn and asked if they’d be open to sharing their personal experiences on key triggers for stress and anxiety. Almost half of the women (46.8%) said their career and job were the number one major source of stress in their life, followed by relationships and money. “Volume of work being overwhelming” was cited as the number one reason for work-related stress. Considering this was before the pandemic, these results tell us that, as a collective, we were already at capacity before 2020 and 2021 hit us. We were already at capacity before the definition of work norms and “office hours” became almost completely distorted. Before the lines between “work” and “home” became even more blurred. Give these a go
Like any work situation, working from home has its pros and cons. One of the differences with working from home is that you can have (or take back) some control of the home/work life juggle. As someone working from home and working with women who work from home for the past 5 years, I thought I’d share some practices I’ve incorporated (with trial, error, and practice) into my and my clients’ “work day” from home.
Build it in After looking over this list you might be thinking, “Great ideas Janel. I’m going to do them all!”. Stop. Pick ONE change and do that first.
I want you to succeed with these changes so they become regular habits and routines so they help signal your mind and body that the workday is over. That “home time” is here (even if you’ve never left it). If you’d like help introducing and incorporating these changes into your workday (with accountability!), be sure to check out my new program Burnout Recovery, a 4 week coaching program to help you reset your daily habits and look at what is potentially continueing to fuel this exhaustion. Working from home might be your reality in the short or long term. Let’s get you in the best work-from-home flow so you can thrive in work, home, and life!
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Almost half of those said they worked nearly TWICE as many late hours than the previous year.
And the number of hours spent working overtime? For many it went from 236 hours to a staggering 436 hours in one year. No wonder we’re all so burnt out! In my own work, many women and clients I’ve spoken to said this year has felt like one big emotional hangover, which often leads to… burnout. And the similarities I’ve been noticing? Emotional exhaustion + mental load = burnout Emotional Exhaustion Emotional exhaustion is the most common experience of burnout women feel and that I’ve seen with my clients during the last year and half. Whether it’s total exhaustion from the weight of conflicting, overwhelming, and repetitive emotions or the prolonged feelings of exhaustion, frustration, fear, worry, loss, sadness, anger, resentment, and even guilt, we’ve all been feeling it. The constant changes and adaptations. The cycles of change with feelings of little control over our lives. They all take an emotional toll. They all lead to emotional exhaustion often followed by burnout. Carrying the Mental Load The mental load we carry is not often as obvious as emotional exhaustion. But you know all those thoughts constantly swirling in our minds? The processing, analysing, overthinking? The monkey chatter and second-guessing? The doubts and fears? Well, this is carrying (and often being consumed by) the mental load. The mental load of our thoughts, worries, fears, and the stress that come from these patterns of repetitive (and often negative) thoughts. Of future pacing and staying five steps ahead. And then there’s the over-analysing… Have I done enough? Is there more I should be doing? Something I should’ve done? Something I shouldn’t? The reality of carrying these constant thoughts and beliefs is that is becomes overbearing, overwhelming, and exhausting. The mental load wears us down and leads us to burn out. How could it not? Making Changes Even after we’ve recognised our emotional exhaustion and mental load and made some changes, we often still FEEL burnt out. Confusing right? See when we experience chronic stress these feelings can trigger negative thought, emotions, beliefs, and patterns which often triggers our bodies’ stress response. So even if you’ve eliminated or eased the stresses and know things have changed your body never actually got the memo that everything’s ok. It doesn’t know you’re in a good place. You’re out of lockdown. You’ve changed jobs. It doesn’t know you’re ok. It doesn’t know you’re safe. Essentially what this means is that removing the stress doesn’t fully move you through burnout. Instead it’s your behaviours. Your behaviours tell your body things have changed and it’s ok to relax. This is why when you think, “I’m over that now.”, and can’t work out why you still feel so exhausted it’s because you’ve made changes to your external environment but not your internal habits and behaviours. You need to signal your body that you ARE safe. The danger IS over. You need to allow your body to process through the emotions, because if you don’t, you’ll likely stay in an emotionally burnout state being triggered time and time again. But, nothing changes if nothing changes right? Here are three steps you can start today to release the emotional exhaustion and lighten the mental load that can lead to burnout.
Emotional exhaustion and carrying the mental load are real. And remember, there are strategies and practices to assist, and I’m always here to help whether through my YouTube channel, blogs, or programs.
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You are NOT Failing!23/9/2021 Unable to be five steps ahead of everything and everyone. No longer having that focus and motivation for exercise and eating to take care of their body. The truth is... YOU ARE NOT FAILING. You are living through a pandemic - GROWING and EVOLVING every day.You are learning more about yourself and the people in your immediate world, than you probably ever have before. The intricate details of …
And, if you have the pleasure of home schooling like me add re-learning Grade 2 to that list (argh!). This is your reminder, that real life will still be there, after the pandemic. And so will your dreams and goals. The body you are unhappy with right now, can absolutely make a comeback. The job that you cannot stand, might feel different when your office returns or after a holiday (or maybe it’s the push for you to make a change). The relationship that is causing you frustration, will hopefully look different when we can have more room to breathe and external outlets. And that goal or achievement that you set a date for and missed, doesn’t mean the goal isn’t worthwhile! Zoom out and see the bigger picture, perhaps there has been more to learn on the way to that goal you want to so much? In my map of the world, there is NO failure. There is ONLY feedback. Notching your failures is what keeps you feeling stuck, literally reliving the past with your mindset fixed on “I failed - it will never happen”. Where as a growth mindset says “What I can learn from, I can change” which keeps you moving forward (and feels so much lighter doesn't it?!) What have you had to learn, grow, heal or fix this year….? Answer that first, and then shift your goal posts. So, how do you get unstuck?
Side note: I really hope that if you are reading this and still in lock down that the only goal you are setting for yourself right now is focused on your health and happiness! I know your world being on pause is frustrating, I feel it too. Let's be honest - NO ONE is really achieving right now! I don’t care what you are seeing on social media. Everyone is hurting from this pandemic. Everyone is just doing the best they can to survive and make it through. And if they are achieving then I have no doubt that something else has had to give. I am a firm believer that you can do anything, you just cannot do everything to 110% all at once without a ball dropping somewhere! Take care JB NEW! Burnout Recovery Program
Break the burnout cycle and start changing habits for long term well-being in 4 weeks!
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I had a client recently, who was struggling with imposter syndrome, can you relate? My client felt like she wasn't good enough for this role and her confidence had taken a hit after some disappointing feedback from a Manager she really liked. To be honest, her self-belief pillars were totally shaken. We worked through a short coaching program to rebuild her confidence by reconnecting her to the 8 underlying pillars of self-belief. Step 1 - We explored her genius zone, the way in which she does her best work, accepting and understanding her strengths and weaknesses The secret here is to list your strengths and weaknesses, and map it across to your work.
Step 2 - We outlined her values and she did a road map of her past career achievement, while redefining what her model of success looked like. The secret here is to identify what qualities are most important to you.
Step 3 - We explored her fears and found the root cause of it all was actually that she was frightfully scared of failure. We did a release technique in time line therapy to bust through her fear and we met it with forgiveness and acceptance. The secret here is to follow the fear.
Next, I suggested she use 5 x positive affirmations to help build confidence at work. A free tool anyone can use and start today. After just one session of getting really clear on who she was and what she wanted she saw her confidence start to return and her work anxiety lessen. That is the power of the mind! Ps. If you want to learn more about the 4-session coaching program I talk about in this blog you'll find it here -> CAREER MINDSET RESET
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Today’s blog is all about building confidence in the workplace and comes from a recent "Career Mindset Reset" session I had with one of my clients, who was looking for advice on how to feel more confident as she steps into a new role and organization. If you are struggling with confidence at work too - this is your lucky day! I break down my 5 steps to building your confidence at work, focusing on: time, skill, experience, reminders, and self-belief. 1. TIME Before you feel confident in anything you need time, you need a transition period as you learn and adapt to the role, figure out who’s who in the zoo, start building rapport with your colleagues and boss, and eventually settle into some kind of flow. You simply cannot expect to understand and know everything on day one, week one, or even month one. Learning and confidence takes time, so be kind and don’t rush yourself. Know that things take time, but you will absolutely get there. 2. SKILL If you're in a job, role or business where you don’t feel confident you probably have fears like:
In order to make you feel more confident and capable, first take a look and map out your skillset.
Now look at all of those amazing skills you probably didn’t even realise you had! Amazing isn’t it?! After mapping out your skillset, maybe you realise there are a couple of gaps. Yes? No problem!
Taking the time to map out your skills can help you see everything you already have to offer while also narrowing in on areas you might want some training or assistance with. 3. EXPERIENCE After time to adjust, and the getting to know your skills comes experience. You need experience and practice using your skills and skill sets, because there’s no way you’ll feel confident in something if you have no experience using that skill. You simply cannot expect to be confident and know what you're straight away, especially if it’s a relatively new or unpractised skill. Instead it takes trial and error, daily consistency, and sometimes failing or even sucking at things before you actually learn and have the experience necessary to build up your confidence. Take myself for example. I cringe at some my early mindset coaching videos, but I practiced and learned, and built up my experience so that now I produce better quality content that I’m extremely proud of. I have the experience of trial and error and reflection to feel confident in what I produce. It takes time to build experience, and that’s okay. People understand. And the more you do it and repeat the experiences you’ll build up that confidence. 4. REMINDERS I had a client come to me once and say, "I just don't feel experienced enough", to which I said, "How do you know you aren't? When did you decide? Is this your standard or someone else's?" The next thing I asked her was to create a career timeline and look back asking herself:
In doing this exercise there was a light bulb moment (there always is!) where she realised her lack of confidence was actually coming from her OWN mind. Seeing it in black and white she had the realisation that she’s already achieved so much and actually does have the skills and experience. She just needed to be reminded. 5. SELF-BELIEF Belief in yourself and your skills, abilities, and experience is my last tip in building confidence and helping you see that you ARE capable and anything IS possible. Like everything else, is takes practice to really get comfortable with self-belief, and positive affirmations can absolutely help with this. Writing affirmations in your journal, reading them to yourself, and saying them out loud every single day will 100% embed these positive affirmations into your mind and shift your mindset and confidence. Here a few to get you going:
If you're interested in exploring any of these confidence-boosting tips, I run a single two hour workshop called "Silencing Your Inner Critic" where I help women understand their major limitations and the power of self-belief. If you want to explore more check out my one-on-one coaching offering, comment below, or send me an email (hello@janelbriggs.com).
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As a Mindset + Business Coach, the question I’m asked most often is: “Janel, what’s the ONE THING I can do on a regular basis that’ll make the biggest positive difference in my life?”. My answer? 100% your morning routine. The things we do every day make a difference. They make a difference to our mental and physical health and wellbeing, to our mindset, and to how we head into and experience the day. It’s the “little things” we incorporate into our routines and practice every day that can make the biggest overall difference. Now the tips and suggestions I’m about to share with you probably aren’t anything new. Many of us already KNOW the practices that are good for us, the trick is actually DOING those things. Meditate, journal, exercise, eat well; we know these are building blocks to thriving and making us feel better. The difficulty is putting one foot in front of the other to get started… and then to keep it going. Sometimes the biggest block is that it all just seems so overwhelming… if I'm going to start a new morning routine, then it means I have to get up at 5:00am. Then I need to spend an hour and a half doing ALL THE THINGS to fill my mind, move my body, and get ready mentally and physically for the day. And next? Wham, there's an extra hundred million things to add to an already full morning. Enter your mind saying, “This is too hard. There’s too much to do. Forget it. No deal.” Now stop. First, don't think about the 50 million things you have to do tomorrow, this week, this month, etc… Instead, focus on what you can do TODAY. Focus on the one LITTLE thing you can do today, that can be incorporated and repeated tomorrow, and the day after. Focus on the ONE THING you can do today, incorporate it slowly and gently into your morning, and then become consistent at it over time. If you have one of my Learn to Thrive journals you know all about incorporating small changes over time. I call the morning routine “Five to Thrive”, and once you’ve gently incorporated all five into your morning routine it will look like this:
Now you try. Start with waking up just 10 minutes earlier tomorrow and choosing ONE THING (not ALL the things!) to add in. After you’ve chosen this one thing, do it consistently for the next 30 days. Do this one thing (and only this one thing!) until you’re comfortable with it. Only when you’re comfortable with it is it time to incorporate something else. So now that you’re comfortable with it, the next day you get up another 10 minutes earlier, and add ONE more thing, commit to it for the next 30 days, and so on. Does this seem slow? Maybe. But see it’s all about baby steps and simplicity. No complexity and no overwhelm. We’re aiming for one thing to be incorporated slowly and steadily over time. And the compound effect of this gentle routine on your mindset? Trust me, it is truly, truly incredible. Watch full video here for more tipsYou start feeling more comfortable and confident in yourself and in your days. You wake up each morning, practice your routine and eventually find that you feel amazing. You feel amazing and your days and weeks and months are running smoother because you've been meditating every day, been writing in your journal every day, been moving your body every day, been eating a nutritious breakfast every day, been listening to music every day.
This compound effect of all these “little things”? AMAZING! Feeling motivated to get started? Do it! Not so motivated? Don’t wait! Why? Because you may never feel motivated to start, especially if it’s something new (or involves getting up earlier). Instead, take the leap, set your alarm, and jump in. Choose the one thing you’re going to start with and just start. Will it be easy? Maybe. That’s why taking gentle steps over time helps. But sometimes however you might need additional support along this morning routine journey. If this is the case, follow me at janelbriggs_thrive on Instagram and see how I use the "five to thrive " method or simply email me, hello@janelbriggs.com - I'd love to hear from you! Take care, JB
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Stress is everywhere right? It's in the work environment and home environment. It’s in our relationships with our partners, kids, bosses and colleagues. It’s in politics (hey there recent US election!), economics, world issues, and COVID-19. It’s all of THOSE issues triggering all of the stress our lives isn’t it? YES, these external elements cause us stress, but guess what? There’s another cause as well, and one that’s more hidden and personal. This is the (daily) stress that comes from our OWN destructive thinking. Our own fearful, doubting, criticising, and second-guessing thoughts. It’s our negative mindset and perhaps lack of boundaries.
Step One: STOP When we think these thoughts, or worse get them looping around in our heads, we need to STOP and not do anything at all. Why? Because this thinking often leads to feelings of lack, confusion, and discontent. We become paralysed by our own doubtful thoughts and the stresses that come from these negative and often looping self-talk. We stay stuck battling inside our heads all day. We feel and create that stuckness because we’re not moving forward and we're not moving back. We’re half in and half out. Not committed and not rejecting it either. And then we start with the shoulds. I should be doing this, I should be doing that… And then the shoulds build up… and then we cringe inside because we're unable to listen to the part of us that says, “Yes! Go do that thing that you want to do.” Enter Step Two: OBSERVE What if once you stopped you then became the observer of your thoughts? What if when you stopped you could catch that thought when it starts? What if you could catch it, observe it and work to reframe it and ask it where it comes from? Let’s try it. For one day (why not today?) decide that you’re going to be an observer of your thoughts. You’re going to catch just one negative thought before it spirals. You’re going to stop and follow it and keep following it until you know where it comes from. And once you know where it comes from, you’re going to explore it and be curious about why it’s here. And then you’re going to consider whether or not it’s a thought that tends to show up a lot in your life. Another thing you could try is catching that negative thought and deciding to reframe it to a positive thought instead. Reframe it by taking the thought from “negative” or “bad” so that its context is changed so you can see the positive, or at least the neutrality of it. Step Three: BOUNDARIES In working with clients I’ve learned that it’s important to help them set healthy boundaries around (for example) people in their lives that trigger them emotionally or in other ways. You know the people. The ones who are vying for your attention. The ones calling you and contacting you, needing you now, now, now. Everything is now. Everything is urgent. Well again, let’s try something. For one day (perhaps today?) try NOT responding to all those (non)urgent cries for your attention. Put your email on auto-responder. Let the phone call go to voice mail. Change your status to offline. Silence your phone (or at least the notifications). Choose one person, some people, or everyone to implement these actions and boundaries with. The important thing is that you protect your time, energy, concentration, and thoughts by building healthy boundaries to prevent that stress from creeping up. And Step Number Four: AFFIRMATION. You know I love positive affirmations, and use them daily in my journal and life. Start with one positive affirmation, just one. Practice writing it out and saying it to yourself or out loud. Now the trick with affirmations is to say them, write them, and use them daily. To repeat. Repeat. Repeat until you believe and there is no doubt in your core. I want you to think, write, and say aloud one or more of the following:
Repeating your affirmation(s) is guaranteed to shift your negative beliefs and quiet the destructive thinking that so often leads to stress. After reading over these four steps, how do you feel? How do you feel about acknowledging the external stressors while also taking responsibility for your OWN stress-inducing thoughts? For reframing negative thinking? Setting up boundaries? Reciting affirmations? Yes, it’s not easy to do straight away. And yes it will take practice. Start slow, go gentle and know that you’ve got this. Now pop a comment down below or send me an email to let me know how you’re going or how I can help. Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter as well so you never miss any stress-busting learn-to-thrive tips again.
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Stepping out of your (career) comfort zone19/11/2020 Sometimes as career women, we find ourselves at a crossroads: do I stay in this job that pays the bills but doesn’t give me much else? Do I want to spend the next 2, 5, 10, years in the same career? In the same job? At the same company? In the same industry? Or do I… What if I… Could I… Is it possible to… See we think these questions, but then we also find ourselves afraid of the answers, because the answers often mean change, and change often means stepping out of our comfort zones, and stepping out of our comfort zones can be scary. Have you heard the saying, that there is no growth in your comfort zone? If not, think about it and tell me it’s not absolutely true. Are you REALLY able to grow if you’re staying comfortable at the same time? Now, you’re welcome to stay in your comfort zone as long as you like, especially if you’re happy with where you're at in your life, work, and career. But if you want to have more, be more, do more, or try more, then you've GOT to take a leap. And by taking that leap you’ll inevitably end up growing in the process and therefore stepping out of that (career) comfort zone. I recently had a client who was 25 years old and looking at going to university to study a new career. The time it would take for her to complete her studies would be 7 years, which was obviously a big commitment. It also meant that she would have to step wildly out of her comfort zone and into an entirely new industry, and it was THIS that was holding her back. Not so much the time commitment, but the idea that she’d be stepping out into the unknown. Whether you’re 25, 35, or 45, we often feel like it's too late to begin or we're too old or there isn't enough time or we don’t know how we could possibly make it work or… Now stop. Stop and answer me this: does it matter how long it takes if this is THE thing you've always a) wanted to do, or b) is the thing you want to do for the rest of your life? It yes, then time doesn't really matter. If yes, then it’s time to step out of your comfort zone, because if that thing that you want to do will set your soul and your passion on fire, then it doesn't matter how long it's going to take. You do it. You make it work. You ask for help. You reprioritise. You step out of your comfort zone and commit to the next stage. For me, I spent 15 years working in a corporate career. In my thirties, I shifted my corporate role and went back to study public relations. Not easy, but I did it, because I knew I wanted to change. When I left corporate and started running my own business, it took another even bigger jump out of my comfort zone to transition. But guess what? I found my true calling and passion, coaching other women with their mindset and businesses, and couldn’t be more happy or fulfilled. Was I scared? Yes! I had many, many fears. And how did I bust through them? Well I continued to remind myself that the work I wanted was bigger than my fears. The women I wanted and knew I could help were bigger than my fears. They were bigger than staying in my comfort zone. And so it was only by stepping out of my comfort zone that I was able to thrive… and help other women do the same.
So if you find yourself heading towards a career crossroad (or know you’re already smack in the middle of one), I can help. If you’re got that side hustle happening you think (or know) could be something more, I can help. With my Career Mindset Reset I can help you step out of your comfort zone and get you clear on:
Now will any of this be easy? Probably not. But I can guarantee this: it will definitely be worth it. Stepping out of your (career) comfort zone will bring you closer to your dreams. Closer to the life and business and career you envision for yourself. So if you have any questions about my the Reset or just stepping out of your career comfort zone in general, comment below or send me an email. I’d love to help you find clarity! JB |