AuthorJanel Briggs Categories
All
|
Back to Blog
Why Do We Quit on Our Goals?21/1/2025 Have you ever set yourself a goal and then wondered why you never achieved it?This was a question I asked myself repeatedly 10 years ago when I started my first business. I had big dreams and a plan, but I found myself falling short of my goals over and over again. It was one of the first reasons I began exploring mindset, coaching, and the psychology of habit change. What I learned changed not only how I approached my own goals but also how I coached others to achieve theirs. At the time, I was a nutrition coach helping women with weight loss. I ran 30-day clean eating and healthy living programs. I had personally followed the program and achieved amazing results, after my son was born. Despite struggling with imposter syndrome in this new business (a nutrition coach differs from a nutritionist) - I felt confident sharing what I had learned enough to guide other women to do the same. But as I worked with different women, I noticed a pattern. There were three distinct types of behaviors:
This experience led me down a path of reading, learning, and experimenting to better understand what causes people to quit and how to help them create lasting habit change. Why Do We Quit?Research into habit change provides valuable insights into why people struggle to achieve their goals. Here are three common reasons:
What the Research Says
The Power of Emotional Connection One of the most eye-opening lessons I’ve learned is the importance of connecting your goals to your "why." When you tie a goal to your values, passions, and aspirations, it becomes much easier to stay motivated—even when the going gets tough. Visualizing what success will look and feel like can help you create an emotional connection that keeps you committed. My Advice for Goal Success If you have a big, audacious goal you want to achieve this year, take the time to create a clear vision. Journal about what it will look like and feel like when you achieve that goal. Write down your “why” and connect to it regularly, so that the positive emotion from the outcome stirs within you. This clear vision will help guide you when challenges arise. If you’re feeling stuck or unsure where to start, I’ve created a free New Year Goal Getting Guide to help you map out your vision and build a strategy to stay on track. I’m also offering 1:1 goal-setting sessions in January and February for those who want personalized support to turn their goals into reality. Remember, success isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Don’t let self-doubt or fear of failure hold you back. This is your year to break through. - Janel
0 Comments
read more
Back to Blog
Have you ever felt frustrated or even a little jealous when you heard someone you know achieved something amazing?That pang of comparison hits(!), and instead of feeling happy for them, you feel a mix of frustration, jealousy, and guilt for not achieving something similar. If you’ve ever felt this way, here me out-you’re not alone. I recently worked with a client who found herself in this exact situation. My client was upset after learning that a close friend had reached a big milestone in her career. While she genuinely wanted to be supportive, she couldn’t shake the negative thoughts that followed. If you’ve ever experienced success comparison, you know how tricky it can be to navigate and release. It’s important to process these feelings ao they do not become future barriers to growth and success. First we do this by exploring the elements of the comparison and its potential root cause, beginning with: Reflective Questions About Success Comparison
Through our discussion it became clear that this particular milestone wasn’t even on her radar! It wasn’t something she had been striving for, yet she found herself spiraling into feelings of inadequacy, saying things like, “I don’t know why I feel this way—it’s not even something I wanted. But now I feel like I'm falling behind. Like I'm a failure.” Rationally, she understood that her comparison was misaligned, as the circumstances were not equivalent. In fact, they were in fundamentally different industries, started their careers at different times, and faced unique situations. However rationally her mind attempted to release it, unfortunatley her negative feelings still lingered. Exploring the Root Cause of Success ComparisonAs we continued to explore the origins of her feelings of jealousy and frustration, we discovered that her reaction wasn’t rooted in jealousy at all. She deeply cared for her friend and had always supported her success. What she came to realize was that, by not achieving something equally noteworthy by the same age, she felt as though she’d "failed" in some way. In coaching, failure is highly subjective and can be perceived in many ways depending on an individuals belief system, past experiences, and expectations. Shifting how failure is viewed can transform it from a mindset barrier into a catalyst for improved self-confidence and reslience. When we followed the perceived ‘failure’, we discovered her comparison ultimately stemmed from her own: 💡 PERSONAL UNMET EXPECTATIONS She felt stuck and guilty for being "behind" in her career achievements. (We've all been there!) The most interesting part? When I asked "What does success look like for you then?" she hadn’t clearly defined what success meant to her. There was no measurable, or clearly defined personal roadmap for what she wanted to achieve. No specific goals and actionable steps to guide her career. There was an overarching limiting belief that if she "didn't achieve a significant milestone by X age" then she must be failing. From my experience, without a clear personal definition (or vision) of what success equates to, along with goal milestones identified for that journey, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. You'll start looking at someone else’s achievements and asking: "Why haven’t I achieved that?" instead of focusing on, "What do I want, and how can I get there?" Without intentional, meaningful goals, we often measure ourselves against others, even when their accomplishments don’t align with our own aspirations. This comparison trap feeds feelings of inadequacy and prevents us from celebrating both our progress and theirs. Defining Your Version of SuccessOnce we identified the source of her negative feelings, we worked on setting intentional and meaningful goals based on her personal values and dreams—not based on anyone else’s timeline or aspirations. The transformation was incredible. She went from feeling inadequate and stuck to inspired and focused, with a clear path forward that aligned with her own personal model of success. This is why defining success on your terms is crucial. Your goals should reflect your desires, values, and priorities, not what any one else deems important. When you know what you’re working toward (and keep lazer focus on it!), it’s much easier to stay in your lane and avoid being derailed by comparison. This story highlights an important truth: comparison often leads us to feel inadequate, even when we’re not aiming for the same outcomes. By taking the time to reflect and understand the root cause of our emotions, we can shift our perspective and pave a new way forward. Additionally, setting clear, professional goals that align with your own big vision of what you want to unfold in your life can help you stay focused on your own path. Once "success" is defined it becomes easier to meet your own expectations and find fulfillment in your progress, rather than measuring yourself against others. -JB (note: all client stories shared with permission) The Power of Goal SettingGoal setting isn’t just about writing down what you want to achieve—it’s about creating a clear and intentional path forward. It gives you direction, purpose, and a way to measure your progress. When your goals are meaningful and aligned with your values, they serve as your anchor, helping you stay focused even when others achieve their milestones. So, if you’ve ever felt that pang of comparison, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself:
If you haven’t, now is the perfect time to start. When you set goals that resonate with your unique vision, you’ll stop comparing and start celebrating—both their wins and your own. Introducing my 'New Year Goal Getting' GuideTo help women like you gain clarity and direction, I’ve created the Goal Getting Guide. This guide is designed to help you reflect on 2024, set meaningful goals for 2025, and create an actionable plan to make your dreams a reality. It’s time to move past comparison and step confidently into your own version of success. Let’s make 2025 your best year yet. Download the Goal Getting Guide today and start creating the life you truly want.Learn More and Get Started Today!
Back to Blog
I was reflecting the other day on how quickly time flies. It feels like the chaos of the never-ending pandemic in 2020 was just yesterday—it’s now hard to believe nearly five years have passed since the world came to a standstill. And yet, here we are, like tiny ants, scrambling through our daily routines, consumed by endless to-do lists, worries, and “problems.” 🤦 We rarely pause to see the bigger picture—that we’re just small pieces of a vast, ever-changing universe, living on a planet spinning through space! When you zoom out, our daily stresses become small, yet we allow them to carry so much weight in our minds. If anything, it's a powerful reminder that life is fleeting, precious, and meant to be lived with intention—not as a constant race against time. Hopefully, as you closed out 2024, reflecting—not just on what you've achieved/didn't achieve in the past 12 months, but on how far you’ve come since the start of this decade! As we step into the first working week of 2025, there is often a mix of emotions. Excitement for what’s to come with the fresh new year, but also perhaps a little apprehension about whether this year, will in fact be… ”Just like every other year”. Stuck in the same issues with people at work, dealing with the same challenges, obstacles in the way of reaching your career goals, and that same feeling of uncertainty about what will come next?! It’s easy to fall into that cycle of repeating old patterns, and staying where you are, even if at your core you’re unhappy. Our patterns are hard to break because they feel familiar, comfortable, and safe—they’re what we know. But the truth is, they’re often the very thing keeping us STUCK. I worked for the SAME corporate organization for almost 15 years (albeit not in the same role). So, I’ll admit I know a thing or two about being stuck in the SAME patterns year after year! It got to the point where I had been there so long, I felt engrained in the carpet and completely scared to make a move. What IF the grass wasn’t greener? What IF it turns out I’m not that good anywhere else? What IF moving companies gives me more stress and anxiety? Here's what I’ve learned since, the beginning of the year offers you a unique opportunity to break free from that cycle - as the desire to make meaningful changes in our lives is at its highest peak. If you’ve ever struggled to translate your big goals into tangible results, you’re not alone—statistics show that while 80% of people set New Year’s resolutions, only 8% actually achieve them. It’s the confidence to take action that can sometimes feel out of reach. Why? I believe the answer lies in fundamentally how we approach our goals. Over the past decade, I’ve achieved three significant milestones in my life and career:
What changed everything for me? These achievements didn’t happen by chance. They were the result of an intentional, effective goal-setting process. A methodology that I’ve honed over the years for both myself and my clients. Here are the core principles (my secrets!) that made all this possible: 1. Clear Focus Create clear meaningful goals that align with your personal/professional values and aspirations. Focus on the emotional shift that will happen and how your life will change after you achieve your desired goal. This will allow the mind to prioritize what truly matters and filter out all the rest. 2. Aligned Action Busy isn’t the same as productive. Instead of spreading yourself thin and overwhelming the mind with too much change all at once - narrow it down to 1-3 major goals and break them into segments for the next 12 months. 3. Accountability Sharing your goals with someone you trust can make a world of difference. Ask your accountability person to check in with you monthly. This provides motivation to keep you on track and support if you need to work through problems when those curveballs come your way. 4. Staying Resilient Challenges are inevitable, but fostering resilience and staying aligned with your bigger vision is what keeps you committed. Learning to view setbacks as “opportunities to learn” helped me stay on track. 5. Growing Self-Belief Please know that confidence and self-worth grows through every action step you take. By continuing to take small, intentional steps every week you’ll learn to trust yourself more and believe in your ability to overcome and achieve. 6. Balance and Fulfilment Remember, goals aren’t just about achieving high ticket outcomes—they’re also about creating a life you love. From my experience there’s no point limping to the finish line but can’t enjoy it because you’re in total burnout! Setting goals that support both your success AND give you balance is essential for long-term happiness. The Professional RealityWomen I speak with in their mid-career years often feel overwhelmed by the sheer scope of what it takes to turn their deepest ambitions into reality, especially when those ambitions require significant life or career changes. It’s common to feel stuck in a cycle of doubt, unsure where to begin, or lacking the confidence to take the first step. Questions like, “Can I really do this?” or “Will all this effort even be worth it?” often hold them back. However, with the right tools, strategies (and mindset!), achieving those big goals is not only possible—it’s entirely within reach. Research shows that individuals with clearly defined and written goals are 42% more likely to accomplish them, proving that intentional goal setting can be a game-changer. That’s the power of intentional “goal getting”. Next StepsIf you’re ready to stop feeling stuck and start taking action, stepping into 2025 with purpose, I invite you to explore my ‘New Year Goal Getting’ Guide. It’s a step-by-step process designed to help you gain clarity, set meaningful goals, and take aligned action—all without the overwhelm. The exact method I use in my personal life and professionally with clients. Your big dreams deserve a strategy. It starts with clarity, confidence, and a clear plan. Let’s make them happen. JB. Learn More & Get Started Here
|