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Life has a way of changing in sudden, unexpected, or overwhelming waves. Sometimes those changes feel exciting. Other times… they shake the ground beneath your feet. Sociologists call these moments “life-quakes”. LIFEQUAKE: A moment where the life you knew gets disrupted - either by choice, by circumstance, or by a season you never saw coming. Now, you may be thinking - these kinds of surprises happen all the time in modern life. We’re all dealing with busy schedules, constant change, and the unexpected all the time. But a life-quake is different. It doesn’t just disrupt your day… it disrupts you. It’s an emotional and identity-level disruption that leaves you questioning who you are, where you’re going, and what actually matters to you now. And for women, especially women who are go-getters, multi-taskers, high level performers, perfectionists and those who have built their lives around supporting others - life-quakes are incredibly common. But very few of us are taught how to navigate one. In this article, we’ll explore:
And if you’re reading this thinking “This is me right now…” - stay to the end. There’s a resource that may help you start to reconnect with the spark you’ve lost.
Unlike a typical change you make that alters your life in some way, a life-quake is:
Majority of the time it can be triggered by something that is deeply difficult to navigate. But also note that it can be triggered by something positive, even something you've said yes or agreed to AND actually wanted. What matters isn’t the event itself, it’s the internal impact that event has on you, your mindset and mental health. Common examples of life-quakes:
A life-quake essentially pulls the rug out from under your old identity and asks you to build a new one. This is where many women unknowingly enter an identity crisis, and feel like they are losing their "sense of self". How Do You Know You’re in an Identity Crisis?Identity crises don’t usually arrive with flashing lights and big neon signs. Instead, they show up quietly, subtly, in your internal thoughts and feelings like: 1. “I don’t know who I am anymore.” You’ve changed, but your life hasn’t caught up yet (or vice versa) and you stop recognizing the person you see in the mirror. 2. Losing motivation or spark "This no longer brings me joy" Things that once lit you up and brought you joy, now feel boring, overwhelming or sometimes even heavy. 3. Feeling disconnected from yourself "What do I even want?" You’re going through the motions doing all the things you normally do BUT nothing feels like "you" anymore. 4. Constant self-doubt and second-guessing "What should I do?" Every decision feels hard, even smallest decisions. You feel unsure about everything and question yourself more than you back yourself 5. Feeling invisible or unheard "No one cares about me, what I want" Your needs feel buried beneath responsibilities, expectations, or OTHER people’s priorities. 6. Grieving who you used to be "I used to be so fun and carefree" Even if your life looks “good” on the outside you feel a sense of loss for an old version of yourself. 7. Overwhelm, anxiety, or emotional waves "I'm worried all the time" Your mind is overstimulated, your energy is low, and your nervous system feels constantly “on”. 8. A deep desire for change - but no energy or clarity on what change you actually want You want to hit a reset… but you just don’t know where to begin. Everything feels hard and confusing. If you recognize yourself in any of these, please know you’re not “broken”, you’re simply in a chapter of what I like to call identity reinvention. Shedding the old to make way for a new version of you to emerge. You v2.0 is envolving - and that’s where coaching can become life-changing. Why Coaching Is So Powerful During a Life-Quake and Identity CrisisMost women try to navigate life-quakes alone, we tell ourselves: “I should be able to handle this” “Other people have it worse” “I just need to push through” But this kind of identity shift (which often comes with a side of burnout!) doesn't respond to pushing! They respond to pausing, listening, and rebuilding from within. Coaching offers exactly that. Here’s why coaching works during identity disruption: 1. It gives you a grounded space to understand what’s actually happening When your internal world feels chaotic, you need time and space for refleciton - not more pressure. 2. It helps you separate your true self from old patterns and expectations Many identity crises stem from roles you’ve outgrown! The achiever, the fixer, the caregiver, the perfectionist, the “strong one”. This finally a time where you get to rewrite the rules. 3. It resets your nervous system so decision-making becomes easier Burnout, overwhelm, and emotional fatigue cloud your thinking. A regulated nervous system gives you clarity and confidence again. 4. It helps you rebuild confidence & self-trust So you can stop second-guessing and start leading your life with certainty. 5. It accelerates your transformation What takes women years to figure out alone often becomes clear in weeks with structured guidance.  My Speciality: Identity Reset + Mindset Rebuilding for Women in Life-QuakesFor the past 8 years, I’ve coached 500+ women through the exact moment you might be in now. My framework combines: ◻️ NLP Coaching ◻️ TimeLine Therapy® ◻️ Nervous System Reset (meditation, movement, calming body + mind) ◻️ Identity + Values Work ◻️ Confidence Rebuilding ◻️ Next Chapter Intention + Goal Setting I specialize in guiding women who feel lost, disconnected, or overwhelmed to:
My coaching style is 100% aimed at guiding you on a path back to your most content and fulfilled self. If You’re in a Life-Quake, Here’s Your Next Step:If this article feels like it was written for you, it's because this is exactly the work I do every day. You can take the first step toward clarity and reconnection here: You don’t have to navigate this chapter alone. Your next aligned, grounded, confident version of you already exists. Let’s help you meet her. JANEL BRIGGS
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 During a recent leadership coaching session, one of my clients, a highly capable, intelligent woman new to a management role—shared something powerful. When I asked what her biggest roadblock was to feeling confident as a leader, she said: “I always doubt myself. I worry that I don’t make good decisions.” That statement stopped us both in our tracks. Decision-making is at the heart of leadership. Yet when self-doubt takes over, hesitation creates confusion, delays action, and builds anxiety. Over time, it can even erode trust—both in yourself and from your team. I followed up by asking, “How long have you felt this way about your decision-making?” Without hesitation, she replied, “My whole life”. How Limiting Beliefs Form in High-Achieving WomenLanguage patterns, especially the negative ones we repeat often reveal the root cause of our most persistent challenges. “The words we use to describe our fears often reflect our deeper inherited belief system.” —Mark Wolynn, Inherited Family Trauma When we explored deeper, my client’s language uncovered a core limiting belief around decision-making. One likely shaped by past experiences or subtle messaging that said:
This belief had quietly sabotaged her leadership confidence for years. It created hesitation, second-guessing, and kept her from showing up as the decisive, grounded leader she truly was. And here’s the truth — this limiting belief is incredibly common among high-achieving women. From my experience as a mindset and confidence coach, I often see how past mistakes, criticism, or even the opinions of others plant seeds of self-doubt that undermine leadership capability for years—sometimes decades. Over time, that seed becomes a core belief that shapes identity: “I can’t trust myself. I don’t make good decisions.” Why Self-Trust Matters in LeadershipA lack of self-trust doesn’t just affect your confidence, it influences every decision you make as a leader. It fuels hesitation, delays, and reliance on external validation. Slowly, it chips away at your authority and your team’s trust in your leadership. But here’s what I want every woman in leadership (or aspiring to be) to know: 👉🏼 Making good decisions isn’t a gift. It’s a skill. And like any skill, it can be learned, practiced, and strengthened—with the right mindset, awareness, and tools. In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), we understand that your core beliefs shape your behaviors. If you believe you’re not good at making decisions:
But when you reframe the belief to something empowering “I am learning to make strong, aligned decisions with confidence” everything begins to shift. Why Reframing Matters for Leadership ConfidenceWhen a leader is indecisive, it ripples through the team. Projects stall. Communication breaks down. Trust weakens. But when a leader steps into certainty and self-trust—even when the path isn’t perfect, it builds momentum. It inspires confidence in others. It models resilience and accountability. That’s why reframing limiting beliefs around decision-making isn’t just about you, it’s about everyone who looks to you for guidance and vision. 5 NLP-Inspired Coaching Strategies to Strengthen Your Decision-Making Muscle1. Get Clear on What Success Looks Like for You and Your Team Many poor decisions come from a lack of clarity about what success truly means. As a leader, it’s not just about what you want. It’s about creating a shared definition your team can rally behind. Ask yourself:
When clarity and communication are strong, your team moves forward with alignment and confidence. 2. Separate Emotion from Evidence First, calm your emotions. When fear, pressure, or anxiety are high, your nervous system hijacks rational thinking. Step away. Take a few deep breaths or a short walk. A calm body creates a clear mind. Then try this NLP reframe: Think of a mentor or wise woman you admire—someone grounded and calm under pressure. Step into her shoes. Ask:
3. Write a Pro/Con List But Make It Strategic This isn’t just about listing positives and negatives. As a leader, your choices impact people, culture, and outcomes. For each option, ask:
This process blends logic and intuition—two essential leadership tools for confident decision-making. 4. Weigh All Options (Even the Uncomfortable Ones) Sometimes the best decision is the one you’re avoiding. It might involve confrontation, change, or saying no and that’s okay. Ask yourself: “What option would I consider if I knew I couldn’t fail?” Exploring discomfort builds courage. Great leaders make aligned decisions, even when the answer feels risky. 5. Consider the People Impacted Strong leadership decisions are made in context. They take into account the people affected - your team, clients, or community. Ask:
This is emotional intelligence in action—the foundation of trust and sustainable leadership. Leadership Confidence Comes From Self-TrustHere’s what I told my client at the end of our session: “You’ve already made countless good decisions. You just haven’t always stopped to celebrate them. Every time you trust yourself and act with clarity, that old belief ‘I don’t make good decisions’ loses its grip.” Leadership isn’t about never making mistakes. It’s about learning to trust yourself through the process. You’re allowed to learn as you go. You’re allowed to get it wrong. That doesn’t make you a poor decision-maker—it makes you a growing leader. When you build self-trust, you not only make stronger decisions - you model confidence, courage, and resilience for everyone who looks to you for guidance.  If you’re ready to break the cycle of overthinking and self-doubt, my Next Level You 8-session coaching program is designed to help women build deep self-trust and confidence from the inside out.
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You’ve ticked all the boxes. Climbed the ladder with a steady flow of promotions. Secured the kind of salary and title others might envy. On paper, it’s a complete success story. Yet instead of fulfillment, you wake up with a dull ache in your chest, a quiet dread before every week begins. That blahhhh sense you’re just going through the motions. “Why am I not happy at this level of success?”You’ve done everything “right”: the late nights, the relentless projects, the sacrifices. From the outside, people assume you’ve got it all figured out. But here’s the paradox: the very achievements you worked so hard for no longer bring joy. They’ve somehow become an anchor, weighing you down. When Success Comes at a PriceFor many women I work with, the first signs of the Success Paradox sneak in quietly over time. It often starts with:
On paper, everything looks perfect. In reality? You’ve been running on empty for so long, it’s become the new normal.  Why High-Achieving Women Are Most at RiskPerfectionism plays a big role here. Many ambitious women were conditioned early on to equate worth = achievement. Somewhere along the way, work became more than just work. It became proof that we’re valuable, competent, and strong. But perfectionism has a hidden edge: it whispers that no matter how much you do, it’s never enough. That whisper grows louder with every promotion, every project, every pat on the back because now there’s even more pressure not to fail. Instead of celebrating wins, you move the goalpost and keep running. It’s no wonder so many women in their late 30s and early 40s begin to ask: Am I actually happy? Or just performing happiness for others? What I’ve Seen in 8 Years Coaching Women GloballyAcross Australia, Singapore, the U.S., London, and Dubai, I’ve coached over 500 women through burnout, perfectionism, and identity crises. Two common themes always show up:
For many, the turning point comes when a lifequake happens—a catalyst moment that sparks the question: Am I truly fulfilled here? That question is often the beginning of transformation. Three Truths About the Success Paradox1. Success without alignment feels empty If your values (freedom, creativity, connection, growth) don’t align with how you spend your time, success will always feel like sand slipping through your fingers. 2. Confidence is built, not bestowed External validation (promotions, titles, praise) can be fleeting and create dependency. Real confidence comes from silencing the inner critic and trusting your own voice. 3. Burnout is not a badge of honor You don’t have to destroy yourself to prove your worth. The most successful leaders I’ve coached are those who protect their energy, set boundaries, and create space for their whole identity to thrive. Breaking FreeThe Success Paradox is not a life sentence. In fact, it can be the wake-up call that shifts everything. When a client says, “I should be grateful for what I have, but deep down I’m not happy,” that’s the exact moment change becomes possible. Here’s where I recommend starting:
The good news here? You don’t need to wait for a breaking point. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through another burnout cycle, perfectionist loop, or imposter spiral. There is another way! I know, because I coach women into it every day. Women who now lead with clarity, confidence, and a sense of balance they never thought possible.  Your Turning Point👉 If the Success Paradox feels uncomfortably familiar, maybe this is your turning point. Coaching isn’t about adding more pressure - it’s about releasing it. It’s about having a trusted guide who can help you reconnect with yourself, your values, and the confident leader you’re meant to be. 💡 Book a coaching session with me here Janel Briggs
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Why Do We Quit on Our Goals?20/1/2025  Have you ever set yourself a goal and then wondered why you never achieved it?This was a question I asked myself repeatedly 10 years ago when I started my first business. I had big dreams and a plan, but I found myself falling short of my goals over and over again. It was one of the first reasons I began exploring mindset, coaching, and the psychology of habit change. What I learned changed not only how I approached my own goals but also how I coached others to achieve theirs. At the time, I was a nutrition coach helping women with weight loss. I ran 30-day clean eating and healthy living programs. I had personally followed the program and achieved amazing results, after my son was born. Despite struggling with imposter syndrome in this new business (a nutrition coach differs from a nutritionist) - I felt confident sharing what I had learned enough to guide other women to do the same. But as I worked with different women, I noticed a pattern. There were three distinct types of behaviors:
This experience led me down a path of reading, learning, and experimenting to better understand what causes people to quit and how to help them create lasting habit change. Why Do We Quit?Research into habit change provides valuable insights into why people struggle to achieve their goals. Here are three common reasons:
What the Research Says
 The Power of Emotional Connection One of the most eye-opening lessons I’ve learned is the importance of connecting your goals to your "why." When you tie a goal to your values, passions, and aspirations, it becomes much easier to stay motivated—even when the going gets tough. Visualizing what success will look and feel like can help you create an emotional connection that keeps you committed. My Advice for Goal Success If you have a big, audacious goal you want to achieve this year, take the time to create a clear vision. Journal about what it will look like and feel like when you achieve that goal. Write down your “why” and connect to it regularly, so that the positive emotion from the outcome stirs within you. This clear vision will help guide you when challenges arise. If you’re feeling stuck or unsure where to start, I’ve created a free New Year Goal Getting Guide to help you map out your vision and build a strategy to stay on track. I’m also offering 1:1 goal-setting sessions in January and February for those who want personalized support to turn their goals into reality. Remember, success isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Don’t let self-doubt or fear of failure hold you back. This is your year to break through. - Janel
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 Have you ever felt frustrated or even a little jealous when you heard someone you know achieved something amazing?That pang of comparison hits(!), and instead of feeling happy for them, you feel a mix of frustration, jealousy, and guilt for not achieving something similar. If you’ve ever felt this way, here me out-you’re not alone. I recently worked with a client who found herself in this exact situation. My client was upset after learning that a close friend had reached a big milestone in her career. While she genuinely wanted to be supportive, she couldn’t shake the negative thoughts that followed. If you’ve ever experienced success comparison, you know how tricky it can be to navigate and release. It’s important to process these feelings ao they do not become future barriers to growth and success. First we do this by exploring the elements of the comparison and its potential root cause, beginning with: Reflective Questions About Success Comparison
Through our discussion it became clear that this particular milestone wasn’t even on her radar! It wasn’t something she had been striving for, yet she found herself spiraling into feelings of inadequacy, saying things like, “I don’t know why I feel this way—it’s not even something I wanted. But now I feel like I'm falling behind. Like I'm a failure.” Rationally, she understood that her comparison was misaligned, as the circumstances were not equivalent. In fact, they were in fundamentally different industries, started their careers at different times, and faced unique situations. However rationally her mind attempted to release it, unfortunatley her negative feelings still lingered. Exploring the Root Cause of Success ComparisonAs we continued to explore the origins of her feelings of jealousy and frustration, we discovered that her reaction wasn’t rooted in jealousy at all. She deeply cared for her friend and had always supported her success. What she came to realize was that, by not achieving something equally noteworthy by the same age, she felt as though she’d "failed" in some way. In coaching, failure is highly subjective and can be perceived in many ways depending on an individuals belief system, past experiences, and expectations. Shifting how failure is viewed can transform it from a mindset barrier into a catalyst for improved self-confidence and reslience. When we followed the perceived ‘failure’, we discovered her comparison ultimately stemmed from her own: 💡 PERSONAL UNMET EXPECTATIONS She felt stuck and guilty for being "behind" in her career achievements. (We've all been there!) The most interesting part? When I asked "What does success look like for you then?" she hadn’t clearly defined what success meant to her. There was no measurable, or clearly defined personal roadmap for what she wanted to achieve. No specific goals and actionable steps to guide her career. There was an overarching limiting belief that if she "didn't achieve a significant milestone by X age" then she must be failing. From my experience, without a clear personal definition (or vision) of what success equates to, along with goal milestones identified for that journey, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. You'll start looking at someone else’s achievements and asking: "Why haven’t I achieved that?" instead of focusing on, "What do I want, and how can I get there?" Without intentional, meaningful goals, we often measure ourselves against others, even when their accomplishments don’t align with our own aspirations. This comparison trap feeds feelings of inadequacy and prevents us from celebrating both our progress and theirs. Defining Your Version of SuccessOnce we identified the source of her negative feelings, we worked on setting intentional and meaningful goals based on her personal values and dreams—not based on anyone else’s timeline or aspirations. The transformation was incredible. She went from feeling inadequate and stuck to inspired and focused, with a clear path forward that aligned with her own personal model of success. This is why defining success on your terms is crucial. Your goals should reflect your desires, values, and priorities, not what any one else deems important. When you know what you’re working toward (and keep lazer focus on it!), it’s much easier to stay in your lane and avoid being derailed by comparison. This story highlights an important truth: comparison often leads us to feel inadequate, even when we’re not aiming for the same outcomes. By taking the time to reflect and understand the root cause of our emotions, we can shift our perspective and pave a new way forward. Additionally, setting clear, professional goals that align with your own big vision of what you want to unfold in your life can help you stay focused on your own path. Once "success" is defined it becomes easier to meet your own expectations and find fulfillment in your progress, rather than measuring yourself against others. -JB (note: all client stories shared with permission)  The Power of Goal SettingGoal setting isn’t just about writing down what you want to achieve—it’s about creating a clear and intentional path forward. It gives you direction, purpose, and a way to measure your progress. When your goals are meaningful and aligned with your values, they serve as your anchor, helping you stay focused even when others achieve their milestones. So, if you’ve ever felt that pang of comparison, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself:
If you haven’t, now is the perfect time to start. When you set goals that resonate with your unique vision, you’ll stop comparing and start celebrating—both their wins and your own. Introducing my 'New Year Goal Getting' GuideTo help women like you gain clarity and direction, I’ve created the Goal Getting Guide. This guide is designed to help you reflect on 2024, set meaningful goals for 2025, and create an actionable plan to make your dreams a reality. It’s time to move past comparison and step confidently into your own version of success. Let’s make 2025 your best year yet. Download the Goal Getting Guide today and start creating the life you truly want.Learn More and Get Started Today!
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 I was reflecting the other day on how quickly time flies. It feels like the chaos of the never-ending pandemic in 2020 was just yesterday—it’s now hard to believe nearly five years have passed since the world came to a standstill. And yet, here we are, like tiny ants, scrambling through our daily routines, consumed by endless to-do lists, worries, and “problems.” 🤦 We rarely pause to see the bigger picture—that we’re just small pieces of a vast, ever-changing universe, living on a planet spinning through space! When you zoom out, our daily stresses become small, yet we allow them to carry so much weight in our minds. If anything, it's a powerful reminder that life is fleeting, precious, and meant to be lived with intention—not as a constant race against time. Hopefully, as you closed out 2024, reflecting—not just on what you've achieved/didn't achieve in the past 12 months, but on how far you’ve come since the start of this decade!
As we step into the first working week of 2025, there is often a mix of emotions. Excitement for what’s to come with the fresh new year, but also perhaps a little apprehension about whether this year, will in fact be… ”Just like every other year”. Stuck in the same issues with people at work, dealing with the same challenges, obstacles in the way of reaching your career goals, and that same feeling of uncertainty about what will come next?! It’s easy to fall into that cycle of repeating old patterns, and staying where you are, even if at your core you’re unhappy. Our patterns are hard to break because they feel familiar, comfortable, and safe—they’re what we know. But the truth is, they’re often the very thing keeping us STUCK. I worked for the SAME corporate organization for almost 15 years (albeit not in the same role). So, I’ll admit I know a thing or two about being stuck in the SAME patterns year after year! It got to the point where I had been there so long, I felt engrained in the carpet and completely scared to make a move. What IF the grass wasn’t greener? What IF it turns out I’m not that good anywhere else? What IF moving companies gives me more stress and anxiety? Here's what I’ve learned since, the beginning of the year offers you a unique opportunity to break free from that cycle - as the desire to make meaningful changes in our lives is at its highest peak. If you’ve ever struggled to translate your big goals into tangible results, you’re not alone—statistics show that while 80% of people set New Year’s resolutions, only 8% actually achieve them. It’s the confidence to take action that can sometimes feel out of reach. Why? I believe the answer lies in fundamentally how we approach our goals. Over the past decade, I’ve achieved three significant milestones in my life and career:
What changed everything for me? These achievements didn’t happen by chance. They were the result of an intentional, effective goal-setting process. A methodology that I’ve honed over the years for both myself and my clients. Here are the core principles (my secrets!) that made all this possible: 1. Clear Focus Create clear meaningful goals that align with your personal/professional values and aspirations. Focus on the emotional shift that will happen and how your life will change after you achieve your desired goal. This will allow the mind to prioritize what truly matters and filter out all the rest. 2. Aligned Action Busy isn’t the same as productive. Instead of spreading yourself thin and overwhelming the mind with too much change all at once - narrow it down to 1-3 major goals and break them into segments for the next 12 months. 3. Accountability Sharing your goals with someone you trust can make a world of difference. Ask your accountability person to check in with you monthly. This provides motivation to keep you on track and support if you need to work through problems when those curveballs come your way. 4. Staying Resilient Challenges are inevitable, but fostering resilience and staying aligned with your bigger vision is what keeps you committed. Learning to view setbacks as “opportunities to learn” helped me stay on track. 5. Growing Self-Belief Please know that confidence and self-worth grows through every action step you take. By continuing to take small, intentional steps every week you’ll learn to trust yourself more and believe in your ability to overcome and achieve. 6. Balance and Fulfilment Remember, goals aren’t just about achieving high ticket outcomes—they’re also about creating a life you love. From my experience there’s no point limping to the finish line but can’t enjoy it because you’re in total burnout! Setting goals that support both your success AND give you balance is essential for long-term happiness. The Professional RealityWomen I speak with in their mid-career years often feel overwhelmed by the sheer scope of what it takes to turn their deepest ambitions into reality, especially when those ambitions require significant life or career changes. It’s common to feel stuck in a cycle of doubt, unsure where to begin, or lacking the confidence to take the first step. Questions like, “Can I really do this?” or “Will all this effort even be worth it?” often hold them back. However, with the right tools, strategies (and mindset!), achieving those big goals is not only possible—it’s entirely within reach. Research shows that individuals with clearly defined and written goals are 42% more likely to accomplish them, proving that intentional goal setting can be a game-changer. That’s the power of intentional “goal getting”.  Next StepsIf you’re ready to stop feeling stuck and start taking action, stepping into 2025 with purpose, I invite you to explore my ‘New Year Goal Getting’ Guide. It’s a step-by-step process designed to help you gain clarity, set meaningful goals, and take aligned action—all without the overwhelm. The exact method I use in my personal life and professionally with clients. Your big dreams deserve a strategy. It starts with clarity, confidence, and a clear plan. Let’s make them happen. JB. Learn More & Get Started Here
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